Truth be told he hadn’t the slightest clue what spurred this near breakdown. Sora always thought Vanitas to be someone too… full of himself to ever slip. It was awfully uncharacteristic of him, which was all the more reason Sora was worried and/or concerned. For someone as awful, as vile, as wicked as Vanitas to drop to his knees and whisper pleas to cease… Whatever it was, it had to be truly frightening. Even more so considering Vanitas in his heart. If could affect Vanitas like this, Sora didn’t want to find out if it could hurt him too.
Yet when Sora finally found out the cause, it wasn’t an answer he expected. Master Xehanort he could buy, the man was all sorts of twisted and demented so it wouldn’t surprise Sora to know he was somehow causing Vanitas pain from in his heart. Heck, anything to do with the fragment would have made sense! But no, it was something far different.
From what he could recall, Vanitas controlled the monsters. Sora had even summoned them in times of great emotional distress (and even on accident. They liked to appear on a whim occasionally). It was just another perk/disadvantage, he couldn’t tell anymore, of Vanitas hiding away in his heart. Sometimes Sora could use his abilities, though it was typically on accident. Were there leftover Unversed roaming the worlds from the last time he summoned them…? It made the most sense, but Sora couldn’t wrap his mind around why they made Vanitas act this why.
Think, Sora, think. Unversed came from Vanitas. Some were left roaming around the worlds. What would someone do if they saw the little blue creatures? … Probably respond to it like they would a Heartless, and try to dispose of it. Heartless were a normal occurrence, and some ignorant folk might mistake the blue monsters for a type of Heartless. If someone were to successfully finish off an Unversed, would it return to Vanitas?
…Did killing Unversed hurt him?
He didn’t have much time to think let alone ask. Vanitas scurried away from him like a trapped animal, slapping his hand away and immediately jumping to harsh words. Sora’s heart was pounding away in his chest, afraid that if he pursed Vanitas might actually attack him. But there was something off about him. Aside from the fact that he was trying to get away from Sora and was in a great deal of pain, that was already established as generally ‘off’ behavior. Sora couldn’t place it exactly, but he recognized this reaction. He saw himself in Vanitas. It was like looking at himself in a moment of devastation and depression. Sora knew too well what it felt like to be alone in this state. Call him crazy, but he didn’t want to see Vanitas go through that as well. Especially if it was Sora’s mistake to leave more Unversed in the worlds.
Sora swallowed hard, reaching out tentatively once more. His voice felt shaky but he spoke up regardless. “It might not have anything to do with me, yeah, but you’re still part of my heart. It concerns me whether you like it or not.”
Sora didn’t go to touch Vanitas anywhere, but rather kept his hand extended, fingers stretched in an open palm. He didn’t want Vanitas to scramble away again, though his curled position said otherwise, or even slap him aside. He would leave it to Vanitas to take his hand if he wanted or not. Giving him the option was a step in the right direction.
“They can wait. They’re not the ones having a hard time right now. I know we fight a lot, but forget that! Put that aside for now, and let me help you. I don’t appreciate you taunting and mocking me all the time, but I can;t just walk away knowing you’re in pain. We’re in this together– literally. You can’t get outta here, I can’t avoid you, so just suck it up and talk to me! What’s the alternative?” Sora huffed, stretching his arm a bit more. “Sitting and doing nothing?”
He was surprised at how he managed to speak up for himself. Perhaps a bit forceful, but Sora needed his message to get through to Vanitas. Whether he wanted it or not, Sora wasn’t going to leave him until he was telling Sora to submit again. That’d be when Sora knew for sure that Vanitas was back to his old self– a pain in the ass.
“Let me help you, Vanitas. I’m not leaving until I know you’re okay.”
There was a scoff that come from him, and he just kept his head lowered at
his first comment. This concerns him whether he liked it or not. No, this had
nothing to do with the spikey haired prison keep, though Vanitas would like
nothing more than to put the blame of everything he was feeling on him.
He knew this wasn’t Sora’s fault for one reason and one reason alone. In the
end, this was all his emotions. Things he couldn’t even begin to comprehend to
control as he had been stuck with them since his very creation. For a long while,
when dealing with the trio, he was used to them returning, hoards of the
emotions and pain all coming to him at once, and it only fueled him enough to
create more. An endless spawning point for the fledgling emotion and he was
okay with that.
It was only after being caught in this prison, stuck here that he had grown out
of practice. How do you get used to something when it doesn’t happen nearly
any second anymore? He had dulled himself to the pain so much of them
returning, the pain of the thoughts and emotions that they brought with him that
he hadn’t cared. He didn’t care and he couldn’t feel it. But after its been so long,
well it’s not like riding a bike. He had fallen out of practice, and this sudden rush
had thrown him off.
It took him another few seconds to even comprehend that Sora hadn’t
actually run off as Vanitas had very clearly wanted him to do. What was he
supposed to do now? Hold hands? Talk about these feelings? Who did Sora
think he was dealing with? There was no way for him to help out in this cause
that Vanitas was dealing with. There wasn’t anything to do.
And yet he kept pushing. He kept trying to help out, despite knowing who this
is, and despite knowing what he has been trying to do since he’d been able to
interact with Sora. He was still being nice. In a way. it disgusted Vanitas to no
end. How could he just be nice to someone who is literally trying to ruin them?
How could he be nice to essentially the literal Dark in their heart? It was
revolting!
A scoff escaped the fragment’s lips, and he turned his head to avoid Sora,
never making a move to reach out and take the others hand. He wasn’t going to
do this. He wasn’t going to be a weakling and talk about his feelings. There was
no point, and it wouldn’t fix anything.
✠ ❝ Sitting here and doing nothing is what I usually do. What would
you rather? Us sitting down around a nice tea set, and explain our feelings
and having a crying tear fest? Get over yourself Sora. There’s nothing you
can do to help right now. You’re only making it worse! ❞
The words hadn’t meant to be said, as they weren’t exactly true. He wasn’t
doing one way or another to make things better or worse, it was the feelings he
was having, and Sora was in a way amplifying them with his kindness. A thing
he shouldn’t have deserved, and he knew it. There was a sniffle noise coming
from him, and he just kept his head turned away from Sora. There wasn’t
anything that he could think of to make Sora go away, which was only making
this worse.
Would he actually have to give in? Would he even know how to describe
everything? There was a shudder from him, and the hug on his legs only
increased in tightness. There was probably nothing that he could say or do to
make the other leave like he had wanted, so he might as well stop fighting.
But why was that so difficult for him.
✠ ❝ Maybe you need this newsflash, or I don’t know. I’m never okay,
idiot. I’ve never been okay and I never will be. The only way for me to be
fine is- psh, like you haven’t heard it a million times before. Just let me
deal with this the way I know how, and how I’ve dealt with it since before
you were in the picture.... I don’t even deserve you attempting to help. ❞
romaincrisis
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