Hey guys. Hope you are ready. I’m about to prove the entire world is guilty of cultural appropriation. Let’s get fucking INTO IT!
Don’t dye your hair red, that’s for Welsh/Scottish/British people and you are appropriating their culture.
Don’t eat fucking pizza, salami, or pasta or sing “a cappella” or “opera” or play the piano. I come from a long line of italians and you are appropriating MY culture. Well, if you are white, I GUESS you can do that. But blacks? Latinos? Asians? Pfft, sorry, it is MY culture. NOT yours!!!!!!!!111
Ever eat “shrimp on the barbie?” that’s Australian culture. Wow, smh, you disgust me.
Don’t use paper, papyrus dates back to ancient Egypt and ancient paper-making techniques date back to East Asia.
Oh, you better not use a pen either. Ink was first made in China, it is their culture! We can’t take it!
Not a pencil either, Graphite pencils were made by the British. Not for Americans, unfortunately.
Listen to Bach or Beethoven? Wow, jesus, way to take Austria’s culture.
…And coffee? Don’t fucking drink it, that shit is part of South American culture!
Nope, not tea either. Give that the East Asians. Oh, and fireworks while we are at it. No more fireworks, else you are racist.
BITCH FILTERED WATER!? YOU BEST APOLOGIZE TO THE SCOTTISH. THEY were the FIRST to use modern water filtration. Stop taking their culture!
You a Christian? And you don’t have family from Rome? Mmmmm… Cultural appropriationnnn.
Nail polish on your fingers, really, now? That comes from Chinese culture. Way to go and step all over the Chinese to you. Haven’t they faced enough oppression?!
Flower crowns? Those are from Greece and used for ceremonies. Not for snapchat filters!
Eaten a mango? That’s from South Asia. Not for us awful whites, blacks, or Latinos.
No more using mascara or eyeliner. That’s from Egypt, not something anyone else but Egyptians can use. Or else you are appropriating their culture.
Christmas? Hell no! That comes from Saturnalia which belongs to Pagans. Sure, they aren’t a race, but you sure as hell are appropriating THEIR culture if not, their RELIGION.
Ever looked through a telescope? Welp, way to go, you are looking through some racist shit then, buddy. That was made by a German-Welch man, so therefore, you are appropriating German-Welch culture.
I love some cornbread, but I’ve found I’m appropriating Native American culture since they were doing that first.
You danced the tango? Mmmmmm, Spanish culture darling. Way to take their culture without asking.
Mhm, is that a mohawk? Yeah, that’s cultural appropriation. That comes from the Mohawk people who were NATIVE AMERICAN. YOU RACISITST!!!?!!111
Apple products? What’s that? Steve Jobs is biologically Syrian?! Oh, no… that makes pretty much everyone cultural appropriating Syrian culture.
Purple dye? Mmm, first used by the Phoenecians, one of the first civilizations. Sorry, they’re right around the edges of the Fertile Crescent. AKA, Lebanon, Jordan, and Israel? So, no purple shirts for me. I’m from none of those countries.
Where is your dog from? Hmmm, a German shepherd? A Great Dane? A Chihuahua? Fucking RACIST! Jesus! WOW! Especially Chihuahuas, that is strictly for Mexican-cultured people. White? You have a chihuahua? Racist? Black? You have a chihuahua? Well, sorry, people who are Mexican belong to the Latino race, so they are a minority, too. Way to go. Smh. 2/10 stars.
Mayonnaise, that thing you call white people? Well, let’s hope they are French, since that is where it was first made in. Then you are appropriating FRENCH culture and ASSUMING all white people are french. Racist.
Hell, wearing green eye contacts? Cultural appropriation. Green eyes date back to Icelandic, Norse, and Dutch people. Not black people or Latino people or Asian people.
Chocolate? Really?! Wow, you really are just wanting to take people’s culture aren’t you. South American. Racist prick.
Smoke weed? FUCK you. Cannabis comes from Central/South Asia. Didn’t know you were racist.
Holy shit, is that a MARSHMALLOW IN YOUR HAND. MARSHMALLOWS WERE FIRST MADE BY THE EGYPTIANS NOT YOU!!!!
Your country uses democracy? Cultural appropriation, that originates from Athens, Greece. Sorry about it.
Ever minted a coin? Indians did it first, therefore, coin minting is cultural appropriation.
Nothing rubber can be used, either. The rubber trees are found in the Amazon region of the world. Therefore, it is the culture of the tribes that still live in the Amazon. Not OUR culture. Stop taking it, you thief!
Using the internet to read this, ugh. Congratulations, way to take someone’s culture and use it for yourself. Europe first was using the internet in early testing phases back in 1988. AKA, white people. So, the internet is white culture.
No neon lights for us. Neon was first discovered by two British men, so, we can’t use them. Else we are taking a fat shit on British culture.
No having hair up in pigtails or a bun! That’s from Japan, actually, not for us! That is THEIR culture, not OURS. You are a such a racist, smh. Can’t believe you’d have your hair like that.
What damage is wearing fucking cornrows doing to your life? None. I’m sorry. No one is taking away your money, your job, your rights, OR your “culture.” It is still “yours” if you want to get stingy about it. By all means, follow your logic. But be careful…! Because then you are taking Italian culture by making a pizza or singing opera, or you are taking Asian culture by smoking weed, or when using eye make-up, you are taking Egyptian culture (which was entirely separate from tribal and primitive cultures of Africa), or, the biggest point, if you have your hair in a bun or in pigtails, you are fucking appropriating Japanese culture! You see how your logic fails? Just because someone has cornrows, doesn’t mean they are saying it is now THEIR culture.
Also, dreads/cornrows/similar hair styles have been around since when the human race was nothing but neanderthals before civilization. The Greek actually wore them as well. Buddhist culture also has a history with dreadlocks. But, hey, draw a caveman for me. I bet you’d draw him/her with dreadlocks. They aren’t even necessarily from culture so much as a way to deal with long hair in the heat. #StopAppropriatingCavemanCulture (Get it trending!)
For pete’s sake, there are drawings from 3000 B.C. (which is the Stone Age!!!!) that have women with cornrows that were found in the Sahara region? You from the Sahara region? Oh, but ALL people who are black/African get to have them, right? Well, then whites from South Africa get to have cornrows, too, if they can’t, most black people cannot either. Why? Well, your family might be from Zimbabwe or the Congo but unfortunately, they aren’t from the Sahara region, way to be a racist for them cornrows becky, god!!!!!!11111111
I’m honestly not even trying to be mean; I’m just cracking jokes here. I was trying to be as respectful as I could (minus the jokes), but I pride myself on knowing science and knowing some history and using logic and when I see people throw it all out the window… ooh. Makes me very upsetti spaghetti (I can say spaghetti, I’m Italian).
I’m sorry, I literally spent an hour making this post.
