A mess.

♋️ This is my diary ♋️

[darlin-youre-okay]

Coming back from my hiatus to you guys as a fiance!!!!

First 2 pics is her proposal to me. Last 2 is mine to her.

We have worked so hard. Life kept lifeing and many things were out of our control but we finally got to this point and we’re so happy Alhamdulillah.

So so blessed we’re here. Its still taking us a bit for it to sink in. That we’re both girlies and we’re engaged to each other. We did not grow up thinking this could happen!

Anyways, i wont post too much. Just say Mashallah on your way out tyyy

[darlin-youre-okay]

Since i last posted ive done another 5k, had another book club retreat at the beach, read and listened to a shit ton of books, started prozac and upped my dosage, became best friends with my coworker and have been an active part of her pregnancy, finally got that promotion at work and secured my career goal, attended my girlfriends dads funeral, skipped pride, got an inflatable pool, started my loc journey, laughed, cried, shouted, lost, gained, felt the love of my friends, felt distance from others, mourned and mourned, rotted in bed, partied, hosted, ate good, ate like shit, loved myself, hated myself, led others, lost patience, gained knowledge. Sooo so much and im grateful.

Still learning this whole life thing.

[darlin-youre-okay]

Oof i had logged out for a friend and never logged in.

[darlin-youre-okay]

I cannot believe that orange fuck won again

[darlin-youre-okay]

Twas a good week

[darlin-youre-okay]

Might be a mountain girlie

[darlin-youre-okay]

This whole healing journey and trying to figure out life stuff is very, VERY difficult. Especially with hardly any income. But I do feel like very soon things will turn for the better. I have been waiting for about 2 years. It has to come.

[darlin-youre-okay]

This weekend i did a 5k!!

If youd ask me a year ago, or even 2 months ago if id ever do one id say fuck no. But my coworker convinced me to go and im so glad i did. I feel so accomplished! I mostly walked and ran some and my goal was an hr lol. But i made it in 59mins and u know whattttt im happy haha. Dare i say id do another one. Perhaps actually train this time for one.

Ive been slacking bad in the gym but im happy im still working out a lil. I did hot pilates a couple of weeks ago and felt great. I just need to get in the groove again.

[darlin-youre-okay]

Also yesterday i guess me n my gf became “ig official” as the kids say. I posted a kissing pic of us and the fans were kinda eating it up.

Its also an official coming out post to those who dont know me well if they couldnt catch it from my pride pics lol. And now my cousins officially know so it isssss what it issss.

[darlin-youre-okay]

My book club had a cabin retreat that consisted of our monthly book review (ofc) wine tasting, pizza making, a reading challenge, hot tubs, good views, dogs, and cats.

Couldnt ask for a better vaycay

[darlin-youre-okay]

Yesterday i went over to my gf’s place to read our bookclub book and smoke hookah. We had light instrumental music playing in the background.

When i got up to leave we ended up holding hands, slow dancing, kissing, and telling each other how much we missed and loved each other. And how happy we were to be together again and what our future would look like. While slow dancing.

It was so nice and intimate and I really needed that. I really needed to hear those words from her and i reallyyy needed the hugs and kisses that day and thats a moment I will always cherish and never forget.

[darlin-youre-okay]

It might be my top 2 moments w her the other time was during our first relationship when we just sat in bed reading with one hand and holding hands with the other. Will never forget how warm and happy i felt then and there.

[darlin-youre-okay]

Yesterday i went over to my gf’s place to read our bookclub book and smoke hookah. We had light instrumental music playing in the background.

When i got up to leave we ended up holding hands, slow dancing, kissing, and telling each other how much we missed and loved each other. And how happy we were to be together again and what our future would look like. While slow dancing.

It was so nice and intimate and I really needed that. I really needed to hear those words from her and i reallyyy needed the hugs and kisses that day and thats a moment I will always cherish and never forget.

[hedontknowhemiiiiiight-deactiva]

wuhhhh😻😻

[aachanel]

[wewwo]

[thankeschoen]

[mens-rights-activia]

The duality of man is thinking “children cannot help themselves and we all need to be patient with them as they explore what it means to be human in public” and also “damn, I wish this crying baby was not on the plane rn :/“

[ffcrazy15]

Just as courage is not the absence of fear but doing the brave thing in spite of it, patience is not the absence of irritation but doing the kind thing in spite of it.

[darlin-youre-okay]

Been thinking a lot….

She/her & He/him?

This has been repressed for years but i will revisit later

[darlin-youre-okay]

Damn lmao im going thru old posts ✨reminiscing✨ and this is still on the table 😭 been dressin a liiiilll more masc but still she/her..for now..