synopsis: "your face is like a melody, it won't leave my head"
genre: angst
characters: ayato x gn! reader
warnings: reader is dead, reader referred to in 2nd person pov, written from ayato's perspective, arranged marriage trope if you squint, mentions of blood & tombstone, implied assassination being reader's cause of death
a/n: uhm. yeah. this is what i do when i have pent-up feelings. title is a lyric from "dark paradise" by lana del rey, the ending para is from "immortality", a poem by clare harner. your mental wellbeing comes first, don't proceed if you're currently emotionally unstable🫶 likes, reblogs and comments highly appreciated!!
kamisato ayato abhorred living in this waking nightmare that only seemed to worsen when he closed his eyes. no matter how hard he tried, that heavy cloud inside his head just didn’t seem to be able to be dissipated.
you, who always stood by his side, head held high no matter the glances thrown your way and the furtive whispers behind your back.
you, who refused to let yourself be viewed as anything less than an equal– who always gave your best no matter the situation.
you, who never hesitated to speak out against any form of injustice, even if it were to happen to your mortal enemy.
you, who, despite your circumstances, stayed with him when heavy paperwork meant late nights, offering to help.
you, who gained the respect of others through the fruits of your own hard work.
and yet–
it was you he found, lying unconscious— motionless —on the hard, sandy shore, the beach stained red with your ichor.
it was you they ruthlessly went after, knowing all too well how you came to lodge yourself firmly in his heart.
the head of the yashiro commission was known for having others kneel down to him.
yet he was the one who kneeled down, placed the stalk of dendrobium on the smooth marble plaque. how many stalks has it been? how many days has it been? he no longer remembered.
and as a single, lone tear slipped down his cheek, a voice seemed to whisper in his ear, a soft touch seemed to brush away the teardrop.
do not stand by my grave and weep, dearest, for i have not yet died. when you awaken in the morning’s hush, i am the swift uplifting rush of quiet birds in circled flight. i am the soft stars that shine at night. do not stand at my grave and cry; i am not there. i did not die.
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regret. that was the word that could best describe your current predicament, having baked one too many batches of cookies. and with all the friends in your vicinity out of town, the only thing you could do in order not to have the past three hours of hard work in the kitchen go to waste was to make that treacherous first trip down the street to your neighbour’s house with a box of gingerbread cookies as a holiday greeting.
the regret started to subside, however, the second your neighbour opened his door, and a pair of curious amber eyes peered down at you.
“hello, how may i help you?” his smooth voice rumbled– your brain blanked. it took a moment before you realised you were staring– at which you cleared your throat in embarrassment.
“ah– hi, i’m from, uh, next door,” you gestured lamely, “i made too many gingerbread cookies for christmas, and i was wondering if you’d like to have them?” you mentally pat yourself on the back for not stuttering and making a fool of yourself in front of someone so handsome– what?
your neighbour smiles. “nice to meet you, neighbour, and that sounds like a delightful offer. i was just wondering where the rich aroma came from– it appears to be from that box. those are the cookies, then, i assume?”
“mhm!” first try! SCORE! you grin, holding out the box to him. “take it as a festive greeting– merry christmas!”
he gracefully accepts the box. “thank you very much– ah, it seems like a lot, and i’ll be honest, i don’t think i’ll be able to finish it… would you like to come in and share it together? i’ve just finished brewing some osmanthus tea– we could savour these treats over tea. ah! my apologies, where are my manners?” he holds a hand out to you, “my name is zhongli, it is an honour to make your acquaintance, dear neighbour.”
regret was a word you no longer knew– not when you were faced with a visage like his and that gentle smile that made your knees weak.
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synopsis . Funny things that happen when you travel heheh enjoyyy
a.note IM BACK after a rlly long time actually enjoy these travel shenanigans!!
Venti
“Ventii VENTIII” you chase him down the street, rain coming down in buckets. But venti just keeps running, spinning along the way, which just causes additional stress to you. Lest that he falls and he hurts himself.
“Y/n !!” He takes you hand and spins you around, one hand falling onto your waist, “dance with me” he continues.
You aren’t sure how the meticulously planned trip turned out this way, but you don’t seem to pay any mind the way your hair is drenched and dripping.
Seeing you relent to his antics one again, he picks you up by the waist and swings you around, your feet lifting slightly off the ground.
“I love you you know ?” He plasters a wet kiss on you cheeks before kissing you on the lips.
Scaramouche
“…, no” Scaramouche answers when he eyes the plushie that you hold in your arms.
Clutching the plushie even tighter, you give him the cutest expression you can do. “Plssss scara, it’s all I want !!”
“That’s what you always say” he sighs, a light blush dusting his cheeks, as he considers just giving in to you. “But wouldn’t it be a hassle to carry up the plane ?”
“I’ll carry it ! I promise !”
P.S he ends up carrying it for you on the way back.
SUMMARY: in which everybody thought you and xiao are still together after graduating high school. little did they know, the two of you already broke it off because of... personal reasons. but surprise!! you two met each other again in college, and now you have to pretend that you two are still in a relationship so anyone won't get suspicious. quite a predicament, right? i wonder how will you handle it?
─ ⋄
- a/n: second part is here!!! ( and you're not sure about that, y/n 🫣 ) happy 200 notes yayyy!!!
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❝ why’d you whisper in the dark just to leave me in the night? now your silence has me screamin’, screamin’. ❞
summary: the vigilant yaksha would have stayed forever if you had told him to stay, but you were long gone now
warnings: reader is gn, reader is an adepti, angst, major character death, hurt/no comfort, mentions of archon war
notes: day 18 and this was the hardest by far to do since so many characters i had an idea for had already been written. i hope this isn’t bad cause i’m actually feeling under the weather and not so good about how this turned out.
you’ve known it from the very start, how bad of an idea it was to date a fellow member of the adepti. the yakshas were the best of you all, the strongest and the fiercest. to die by the side of one was an honour, not to you. why would you want to die in a battle that wasn’t even yours? but you stayed, you would stay forever for him and only him, fight for him and only him, live for him and only him.
you were a shot in the darkest dark, a bright blue spark of flame illuminating the darkness before being extinguished in an instant. and what was worst was that xiao had been unarmed, prepared for every battle he could ever fight but never for the battle of the heart.
waiting, waiting for this war to be over, to be just with him was a sadness and he was fading into madness overtime. the battlefield was littered with the bodies of his friends, his comrades and he could feel himself succumb to this karmic debt that his yaksha brethren were falling into.
but it just wouldn’t stop, standing on a tightrope alone and holding your breath in fear of falling, terrified of losing your hold of his hand. you weren’t sure what you were scared of more, death or losing him. was it that wrong for an adepti to dream of a life they could never have? to live together with xiao in blissful immortality, away from the war? now faced with death, it seems you were scared with both.
you had been pacing on shaky ground, fighting and arguing with him to let you come to this battle, not knowing about the karmic debt that had been brewing in the crevice of his chest. you had struck a match in him and he’d blow it out usually, but not this time.
it wasn’t fair, how he would subject himself to fighting alone when you’d be stronger together. you may not have been strong as him, as experienced nor powerful but that didn’t mean you were defenceless and worthless. xiao couldn’t say why he refused to let you fight, resolved to staring speechless at your face for everytime he saw you, he feared that this would be your last encounter.
when he kissed you, it stopped time, your well-thought out debate on why you should go now thrown out the window. he was yours, but you weren’t his, that he knew of. he would do anything if it meant that you would be safe, leaving you behind to wait for him forever even though it was selfish of him too. hide the cards he held in close to his chest, the cards he wouldn’t show no matter how hard you tried to look at them. you were about to fold unless he told you to say don’t go, that was all he needed to say. three words but with so much meaning. so you went against his pleas and wishes, barging out of your sanctuary and into the fire.
but it all changed when you were halfway out the door of immortality, and he held hope for you to not to go. perhaps you would have stayed forever if those words had left his mouth, but there was silence in the air. the cries and sounds of war now nothing but a buzzing noise in the back of his head as he cradled you in his arms, whispering promises for you to keep your heavy-lidded eyes open.
“why’d you have to lead me on? why’d you have to twist the knife, walk away and leave me bleeding?” he wanted to scream, his fingernails digging into your shoulders. the fear and karmic debt bubbling hot and threatening to scald him inside out.
why’d you whisper in the dark, of dreams and a life full of hope that you would both live once the war was over? why did you do that, just to leave him in the dark alone, searching all of eternity for you? now your silence had left him screaming for you to come back, to come back to him because he promised that this time he’d protect you, come back to him because this time he’d love you tenfold. how could you make a promise of a better life to someone gone? how could he live a life you had described and imagined so vividly after the war without you?
why did you have to make him want you so badly, want a foolish dream that he wasn’t supposed to have for his loyalty was to morax and not you? why did you have to give him nothing back at all, take his heart that he had bared to you but disappear before you were to give him yours, leaving him empty and hollow with nothing but karmic debt?
why did you have to make him love you like those mundane romance novels you’d once tell him about, dance under the stars together and leave him with this feeling he couldn’t describe? this feeling of capturing crystalflies, this feeling of singing to glaze lilies, this feeling which tore him away from all the horrors of war and make him feel normal for just a moment when he looked at you.
“i love you,” is what he managed to whisper, his voice shaky and desperate for you to say anything back, but you say nothing back.
xiao would have stayed forever if you would have said ‘don’t go’, but you wouldn’t have because you were gone.
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how would one describe love, you had asked yourself that question many times. perhaps it was when you locked eyes with a certain magician during one of his famed shows, both of you holding bated breath at first sight. flashing lights had danced across your vision, you had mistaken the sirens as shooting stars that had granted your wish.
that was how you both fell down the rabbit hole of a whirlwind romance, love that you convinced yourself to be worth the adrenaline and excitement. lyney had held on tight to you as nothing was as it seemed, the both of you spinning out of control when you were in each other’s embrace and space.
“don’t rush into things,” lynette had said to him countless times that he had lost track. when confronted by you due to his sister’s hesitant acceptance to this relationship you had, he flashed his violet eyes at you.
“haven’t you heard what becomes of curious minds?” he had whispered into your ear, sending ripples of vibrations down your whole being, his slender fingers tilting your chin to look at him.
it was all new and exciting, the way his body moved with yours, the feeling of his arms twisting around you as the world dissolved into chaos around the both of you. but you were too stubborn, too naive to think about what you were doing to each other. you should’ve slept with one open at night you mused, the wonderland you both crafted eventually losing its color.
so you both went on your way, too in love to think straight and never really giving a thought to what you both had gotten yourselves into. it would’ve been okay if you were alone in this made-up world that you had conjured, from mad hatters to dancing posies. that was until the paint started to dry and melt under the hot sun, shattering the illusion and throwing you face first into the reality you had tried to run away from.
the occasional whispers had turned to subtle talking and the talking had turned to screams upon the sight of you both. fame was something lyney couldn’t run away from and by dating him, he had caused the same fate to befall you.
“don’t rush into things” was what clorinde had sighed, shaking her head in exasperation at the hearts in your eyes whenever you saw lyney. the flash of his eyes, violet like padisarahs and his cheshire cat smile could always calm you down, dispel any doubts you had harboured secretly.
but he knew, and he shared that feeling. the difference was that he was a skilled magician with a stage face and you weren’t. cause it was all fun and games until somebody loses their mind, the whole world whirling quicker and quicker till you lost your grip on him.
when the effects of the hallucinogen had dissipated, you had reached for him but he was gone. you knew you had to go back home, to who you were before him but you couldn’t live in this world you had detached yourself from. the dream world, the wonderland you had both crafted was now your home, your home with him.
he had played various people with his skills but you had tricked this great magician into staying forever with you this wonderland. and when you both had tried to stop yourselves, built walls between the two of you, you were bound to fall down that rabbit hole once more.
even when you searched the world for something else to make you feel like what you both had, in the end in wonderland, you both went mad. whether it be mad in love or mad in this euphoric feeling you experienced when you were together.
because the both of you had found wonderland and you had gotten lost in it. built and painted a whole world, a dynasty with your bare hands. a world that was only meant for the two of you and pretended that it could last forever.
a wonderland that you were lost in like an inescapable maze, one where life was never worse but never better.
❝ there was nothing left to do when the butterflies turned to dust that covered my whole room. ❞
summary: the rain would wash away the tears and every trace left from your relationship with the yashiro commissioner
warnings: reader is gn, hurt/slight comfort, reader was in a toxic relationship with ayato, takes place after their breakup
notes: day 13 and another one of my personal favourites! i interpreted this a little differently once i thought over what the lyrics tried to convey so i ended up writing this! idk why i think this feels shorter than the previous ones oh well
the drought was the very first, when the flowers that you grown together died of thirst. flowers that had relied on your tears for them to blossom, feeding on your heart that you broke over and over again to ensure their growth. people saw them for their beauty but you saw them as a reminder of the toll it had taken to cultivate them.
ayato was a dream, a fever dream that you couldn’t decide whether or not had brought you joy or suffering. dating the commissioner hadn’t been all sunshine and rainbows, was the hydro vision he had because he could make you cry every single time? over him, over the weight his position had carried over onto you, over your breaking relationship that you had struggled to hold onto?
you felt neglected constantly, he was so busy that you’d go on days without hearing anything from him. when he’d come back, he’d pretend that nothing happened. it was like you were just playing a dysfunctional role as ayato’s partner just for show. he’d come to when he needed you but was never there for you. he was like a wine-stained shirt you couldn’t wear anymore, he had changed you to the point you had lost yourself, forgotten who you were before him.
you’d think that a breakup would release all these chains tying you down to the sea floor but it was so, so much worse because all you thought about was him. you hung your head as you lost the war and the sky turned black like a perfect storm, a mirror of your emotions.
as much as you tried to convince yourself it was love, as much as you tried to convince yourself that you couldn’t live without him, you weren’t so easily fooled. ayato could move on and he had seemed fine when you had an unfortunate encounter. was it because he had been conditioned to put on a facade or was it because you truly had meant nothing to him, perhaps it was because he had left more of a skin deep mark on you than you had left on him. he had touched your soul while you had merely touched his skin.
so why couldn’t you? why had you given a pained smile, hold back the flood of emotions that were rising like tsunami tides? did ayato know about this? is that what he had planned all along? for you to never move on for him and come back running to him?
wandering around with your watering eyes there was nothing left to do you had realised, when the butterflies he had once caused to flutter in your stomach turned to dust. the butterflies and hearts that you could picture and envision so clearly in your mind when you looked at him were gone with nothing, the only reminders of them were the tears you shed. so you had pictured punching a hole in your roof, punching all these emotions away.
not that it helped though, and when you tried to imagine a flood carrying all those pictures of ayato you had, it swept you away into its embrace too. you were in every picture you had of him, every memory, every dream and every wish. the water filled your lungs and you could hear yourself scream so loud, a piercing shriek but no one would hear a thing. you were battling with yourself, willing every inch of your body to let him go. it was all in your head, nothing any healer could cure.
it wasn’t love you had felt towards him, your friends had murmured as you wept for days at end. it was an addiction. you were addicted to ayato like he was a personal brand of drug catered specifically for your consumption. even now ten months sober, some part of you admitted that you missed him. now ten months older, you wouldn’t give up because when you’d be clean, you’d never risk falling into this cycle of hurt ever again.
all it took was to step out into the storm, feel the cold air breeze through your skin and drench your soul, wash every mark he had left from you and clean the wounds that scarred you. a simple but effective approach as you poured your heart out like how the rain poured from the clouds in the stormy sky. getting everything off your chest was the way to go though it meant you had to undo all the fragile stitches holding you together. you’d piece yourself back together overtime and be the person you were before him, you knew of it for the rain left you feeling refreshed and anew.
when the rain poured down on you, mixing with your tears that held memories of ayato and you, did you finally feel like you could breathe once again. after so long being locked away from the world you had closed your heart to, now the experience of feeling water hit your skin was a sort of relief, proof that you were healing. only by submitting and drowning could you finally breathe, gasping for fresh air that you had gone without for so long.
by morning, every trace of him was gone and you were finally clean.
❝ tossing, turning, struggled through the night with someone new. baby, i could go on and on, on and on. ❞
summary: the dark-knight hero has always been known to keep a distance but he always ends up right by your side
warnings: reader is gn, slightly angsty(?), diluc backstory spoilers
notes: day 11! i can’t write diluc for the life of me so i took a rather different approach to this and focused on making it more poetic than dialogue based. i hope you like it!
you remembered it like yesterday. the days like a blurred memory, gold tinted around its edges and the background noise like faded static.
loving diluc had been like clear blue waters of the ocean, the high tide of waves bringing the both of you together with such ferocity that you collided against one another. a love that was fragile but powerful at the same time, so pure that you found yourself emerging fresh and new every single time.
you had fallen for him when you were just kids, when he had picked up a dandelion by the gates of mondstadt’s heart during the windblume festival, embarrassed and whispering for you to make a wish. for he had been all you ever wished for, you realised as you clasped the flower in your hands, watching its seeds fly off into the breeze.
was that what love was supposed to feel like? restless and free, with ups and downs but something true that you’d know by heart? for this love had left a permanent mark on you, like his name had been tattooed on your skin for you to trace the words when you missed him. for this love glowed in the dark, never leaving the both of you in the darkness as you were each other’s light. or so you thought as time decided that this love would be put to the test.
he couldn’t have attachments, that was what diluc realised after his father had passed, the fear pushing his heart to beat faster. what if he had to lose you all because of him? he couldn’t live with your blood tainting his hands, embedded deep in his fingernails that he couldn’t scrub off. staining his hands forever and ever for he could never bear to was away the only remaining mark you had left on him.
so, the skies grew darker and the currents swept him out like how they had brought him into your life. and he was gone, leaving you behind for your own protection. in silent screams, in wildest dreams, you never would have dreamed of this ever happening. that he would think that by breaking your heart, you would be safe, though you didn’t know how it killed him inside. your heart may have broken but his had shattered.
moving on had been hard, you both would be lying to yourself if you said that you didn’t think of the other. he was in every dandelion your eyes landed on to the point you kept some on your window-still, so that you would always wake up to the sun shining down on him. you were in the ocean waves he would always make sure to patrol by at night, the moonlight illuminating the water just as bright as your grin.
you would see him in dreams disguised as nightmares, feel his lips graze your cheek ever so slightly before he vanished into thin air. his smile a ghost, a figment of your imagination you would soon come to terms with as you fell to your knees and awoke in a cold sweat. feel nothing but the cracking of your newly-healed heart and the tears rolling down your cheeks that he would have once wiped away.
it had driven you mad, for this love was like the lanterns in the candelabras back at dawn winery. its light flickered for him and only him but he was still gone. and just when your grip on the last thing you ever owned was faltering, moments away from sinking into the depths of the ocean like a ship, he showed up just in time. and when you both looked at each other in the eye after so long, it all came down crashing.
it was the sudden ache in diluc’s chest, the inner voice and sleepless nights that had called out to him. all he ever wanted was to hear his name roll of your tongue, wanted for you to be the rock in his stormy sea, wanted for you to always be by his side. he had loved you when you were kids, he had loved you when you were teens and he would love you even if you were oceans apart. when you’re young, you always run whether it be from your problems or for an escape, and he had run away from you. but he would always come back to what he needed. and he needed you like how you needed him.
it was like the ocean you had always been mesmerised by ever since you were young. no matter how hard the waves receded, he would always come back to you and you would do the same.
this love was good for it was the sun shining down on you after you braved through the storm. this love was bad for it was like being swept out to sea, the waves pushing you down repeatedly, begging for you to drown. but this love that you had both tried to forget, tried to move on from, was now alive back from the dead and had brought you back together.
his hands had to let you go free but this love would always come back to him.
Synopsis scara uses aggression as a flirting tactic on you, a stranger he meets on the airplane, bronya is the reader’s favourite hsr character
a.note HIHI I got this terrible delusion that’s one day I’ll meet the loml on the airplane
Settling in to the seat and preparing for the 2 hour flight back home, you had the cute plushie of Bronya next to you, patting it’s head before turning on a movie.
“Bronya ? Seele is way better.” A sharp voice interrupt the moment as you turn your your side to see a dark haired boy, facing front. How rude.
Appalled and ready to defend you favourite character, “the audacity to say such things” rolling you eyes, “especially since you don’t know me”
“Looking around it, isn’t Seele’s colour palette much more superior to Bronya’s colour palette?” Scaramouche continues to irk you even more.
Follows a long debate where you and Scaramouche take turns to argue over which of the characters are superior. Unbeknownst to you for course, he didn’t do all this just to annoy you.
“Fine Fine you win. I’ve had what I needed out of this conversation”, before packing up as the plane has already landed. “Also, I hope you don’t take my insults to heart, I just thought you’re reactions were interesting”
“Interestingly cute of course” before getting his things and leaving. (Is that a light blush you see?)
“Eh-?” Stunned at his words, “was that a flirting attempt ?!!” However he scurried off, until you realised, you didn’t even get his name.
★. . kazuha : sophomore (1/2) majoring in english from teyvat university. full-time writer, part-time worker at café la vien en rose. from time to time, he posts stories on his twitter acc if he's done with his shift or while waiting for his friends.
★. . heizou : sophomore (2/2) who's a criminology major, he's really intelligent but his noisy personality covers it up. he works in the café every Mondays & Wednesday.
★. . venti : a junior from the same university, he's a fine arts major. he also works for the same café as the two (he was the one who recommended them to work there).
✿. ━ previous < masterlist > next
STRAWBERRY FLOAT : University student y/n, has stumbled upon a café named ; “Café La Vien En Rose” — which soon became her frequently visited and favorite place to study. As time goes by, part-time worker Kaedehara Kazuha notices her frequent visits and somehow, has memorized her order. It wasn't much of a big deal, maybe until she stopped visiting for two weeks..
NOTES . university stuff aren't 100% accurate!! this was supposed to be posted next week but i got a full mark on my math & ahis exam so i decided to post this!!?!
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