‽

Come for the communism, Stay for the sandwhiches

[isolemnly-chastain-swear-deacti]

[angiebkxo-deactivated20180626]

me

[mxhammad]

relatable

[amoisthobo]

[capacity]

I’m literally in bed like this right now

[peniswakt-deactivated20210717]

honestly dogs don’t even matter once they’re past the puppy stage like dogs older than that are just irrelevant…put em in the garbage

[basementdemo]

[andersam5]

I absolutely lose my shit laughing every time I see this

[thefingerfuckingfemalefury]

Donald like “Hold on a minute I never agreed to that”

[darthsparkleflocken]

what marius said : my place is here, i fight with YOU

what marius meant : i can't find cosette so wats poppin u french hunks

[neilnevins-deactivated20240617]

[husbandandhusbandcomic]

[footage-not-found]

You forgot one:

[boota]

[omizart]

I got Jensen Ackles how about you guys 😂😂😂

[nyofrance-moved]

I called Les Mis “Les Mis” today and this fuckin kid sitting near me was like “I hate when people call Les Misebrlebelseses ‘les mis’ it’s so lazy”

boy I read a 1,463-page book I will call it whatever the fuck I want, I will call it “Marius Pontmercy and Those Other Guys: A Novel” go back to your underclassman French course

[dreamlightasafeather]

IF YOU NEED TO CALL 911 BUT ARE SCARED TO BECAUSE OF SOMEONE IN THE ROOM, dial and ask for a pepperoni pizza. They will ask if you know you’re calling 911. Say yes, and continue pretending you’re making an order. They’ll ask if there’s someone in the room.

You can ask how long it will take for the pizza to get to you, and they will tell you how far away a dispatcher is.

Here is an example video

[t-pose-to-assert-gayness]

Reblog to literally save a life

[anotherdayforchaosfay]

I’ve done this.  I’m alive because of this. 

My flat-mate’s date for the night was almost as drunk as her.  She had passed out in her room and locked the door.  He refused to leave because he wanted to have sex.  He also demanded food because he was dealing with “whiskey dick”.  He didn’t like the lack of food in the fridge.  I called 911, did the stuff stated above, and he was getting PISSED about how long the “order” was taking.  He took my phone, demanded they “hurry the fuck up”.  Police arrived two minutes later, arrested him, and helped me file a police report.  Pressing charges wasn’t necessary because he had warrants on him from THREE different states for the very thing he planned to do to me.  Several months after this happened one of the officers informed me he was charged with two felonies because he crossed stay lines, and will be serving no less than 35 years in prison.  The officer ripped into my flat-mate about her bringing home complete strangers, while drunk, knowing full well this shit could happen. 

This was 14 years ago.  

Do the pizza order, do it as calmly as you can.  The dispatcher I spoke to said things like this:

“If he’s drunk say you want mushrooms.”  I said I want extra mushrooms.

“If he’s threatening you with sexual assault say you want onions.”  I said I want onions.

She went like this with different toppings and sauces for a description of him, like pineapple if he’s blonde, black olives if he’s tall, extra large if he’s tall, etc.

They’ve heard this sort of coded call before.  They’re trained for it.  They will understand what you’re saying.  Order the pizza.

[lagonegirl]

Nicki Minaj is offering to pay tuition for dozens of her followers on Twitter right now, as long as they have good grades.

GOD I Love Black Celebrities making real shit like this 

#NickiMinaj #BlackPride

[prostylgel]

BITCH YESSS

[leggo-my-steggo]

Actual angel Nicki Minaj. God she’s such a good role model!

[kingshootah]

Reasons I’m working on pulling my grades up

[istillfuckwithdemilovato-deacti]

Pooping while on break = liberal cowardice

Waiting to poop after clocking in = anticapitalist radical action

[pragnificent]

Someone post that Elmo gif.

[utopian-star-deactivated2021101]

this one?

[pragnificent]

This one actually. 

[theliftinglife00-deactivated202]

professor: *teaches 5 chapters in a 50 minute class* Does everyone understand?

me:

[culturistjack-deactivated201804]

I'd very much like to punch a feminist.

I’d never, ever hurt a lady but I’d be happy to punch a feminist. It’d bring me great joy.

[olisaurusrex]

I’m 6’2 and weigh 180lbs

ready when you are

[thattallsummonerguy]

Or if you’d like to have some more options….

I’m 6’4” 228 pounds and have 9 years of combined martial arts training and 3 years of being a Line Backer in football. Just in case you are looking for variety.

[wontbeafraid-deactivated2014041]

what about a lady and a feminist. warning, combatives certified soldier.

[nevergenders]

im tiny, i’m like 5′4 and 130 lbs but u can fight me too

[scumbagsblog]

Reblogging for the last one cuz that’s adorable

[likeits1995]

SO PROUD

[ghost--ranger]

The Fantastic 4 we deserve

[crimezi]

OMG IVE ONLY SEEN THIS POST IN SCREEN SHOTS

[magicurl]

Having a pet is so weird. Like neither of you speak each other’s language and yet you form some strong bond by rubbing against each other and sleeping together and you might accidentally kick them in the face or step on their tail once in a while but at the end of the day you two are best buddies from entirely different species.