now you're just yours

Daryl Dixon from AMC's The Walking Dead. Independent and Selective. Highly NSFW. Triggers not tagged. Check the Navigation Page for more information. Written by Blue Established: October 2013

[daryliisms]

i miss you a lot

I very much do miss writing and being here. Perhaps once my life stabilizes I will come back and write again. I hope you, dear friend, are doing well, too. <3

[daryliisms]

status update

NOTE: I know I’m not around anymore, but if you want to follow me on other social medias I’m at: FraeaJenkins for my Instagram (it's private so you'll need to send a request and let me know who you are), which is the one social I mostly frequent. Or if you want my discord to interact with me, send a message and I’ll get that right to you. I hope everyone is well and safe. I miss everyone and would love to talk to anyone still interested in possibly interacting from time to time elsewhere. I hope to see some familiar faces. Thanks!

[daryliisms]

New Blog >>> @spesrebel

I made a Cassian Andor blog from Rogue One. Follow if you want to. This blog is not even put together. So no links or anything. Just an fyi.

[thewalkinggifs]

10 caps per character - 03x06 | Daryl Dixon

[nctbitten-aa]

                                                   𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐢𝐧 𝐩𝐞𝐚𝐜𝐞.                                         𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐠𝐞𝐭 𝐮𝐩 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐠𝐨 𝐭𝐨 𝐰𝐚𝐫.​

[daryliisms]

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays from myself and my floof to you!

[daryliisms]

NOTE: It’s still munday here in the west coast. So have at it.

Also— my necklace, as I tend to get questions regarding it is of the Claddagh symbol which is Irish. It pertains to the Claddagh tribe of Galway city where they made and still make Claddagh rings today. These rings are considered promise rings and depending on how worn on either your left or right hand indicate your status symbol: single, taken, engaged, or married. Residing in Galway all of July I just had to nab a necklace of it with my birthstone. The more you know.

[daryliisms]

NOTE: I might be coming back here. I really don’t know. I’ve been thinking long and hard about why I never made an immediate return after I got over the shit with my horrible human of an ex-boyfriend. And the more I begin to scour this blog the more I realize how desperate I was for interaction. I posted so many starters and prompts to get things going with people and only had a select handful of folks that ever wanted to participate with me. I always did my best to try to keep my partners. I was always very polite and courteous to their needs and triggers if they had any. I was plenty accommodating to prove that I was ENOUGH or that I was WORTHY of being their DARYL. But much like my own sad existence IRL-- I know that this isn’t the case and that I’m not the Daryl for everyone or probably most people.

I’m reblogging my old thread tracker for people who might want to pour through my old links for things I might have forgotten or to casually remind me of something that they’d love to continue or even take a stab at one of my starters or a sentence meme-- I’m all game for that. But I’m not going to make my effort any more to try with people that only want to use my Daryl as a stepping stone to other Daryl muses. That was the notion I got a year ago and I’m not tolerating it anymore. I take pride in my character and for the longest time was the only Daryl consistently writing for almost 5 years straight until I had my mental break and couldn’t bother to be on this website anymore.

Again I’ve put a lot of thought into this, but I’m trying. I’ll always try my best, but I can’t guarantee that I’ll stay. And should that be the case, I have a d.iscord server that I write on should anyone want an invite, please send me a message and I’ll get that sent to you asap so perhaps we can maybe plot a little.

Thank you for your time.

Blue.

[daryliisms]

thread tracker // starter call

Just a bit of a thread tracker for those expecting a response from me and vice versa. Also, consider this a STARTING POINT for NEW MUTUALS looking to BEGIN something with this hunter of mine. Please before interacting– as always, be kind and read the RULES. Thanks!

>>>>> threads owed to me >>>>> threads i owe >>>>> open starters for mutuals >>>>> memes >>>>> sentence starters >>>>> drabble prompts >>>>> starter calls

Note: I’m constantly deleting old threads and their posts to clear clutter.

[peletier]

[peletier]

this world can do whatever it wants.   …knock me to my knees. but never forget. no matter what? each time i’ve proven..   …i’ll get right back up.

loved by: dixon

[daryliisms]

status update

I’m alive? Yeah I guess that’s accurate. I don’t know if I’m going to come back here. I want to, but I’m not sure.

I came back from Ireland about 2 weeks ago and I feel like my life is heading in another direction that what I ever thought it would head. I have another trip booked for March back to Dublin this time, but back to Galway-- I can’t stay away from that city-- it feels too much like home. I’ll be looking for housing and a job out there-- I’m probably going to move out there to be fair.

But that’s neither here nor there at the moment. I’ve been posting pictures of my endeavors on my insta: fraeajenkins. You can follow me there if you’d like to see the people I met. I ended up doing a project similar to “Humans of New York” and collected the portraits of 44 strangers while in Galway. I made so many new friends and forged strong relationships with people I never would have met and I am so grateful that I got to have that experience.

But yeah; TLDR; I’m 50/50 coming back. Will be moving to Ireland next year. Check my insta @fraeajenkins to see my posts. Send me a message here or in discord letting me know who’s adding me.

[daryliisms]

Because I feel fucking beautiful and free of my fucking shackles and I want to post shit of me-- because I deserve the moon and everything in between and nothing less than.

Hi, hello. I’m Blue. Some of you know me really fucking well and others don’t at all. I’ve probably only posted a couple of sad woe-fucking me posts since my life went to hell back in November, but let me be completely transparent with you:

My 10-year relationship with my best friend and partner ended abruptly and fucking awfully. Not only that, but removing those disgusting rose-tinted glasses gave me a new prescription I was in desperate need of.

I was abused. I was physically, sexually, verbally and emotionally abused for the last 10 years of my life with my ex-boyfriend. He gaslit me every chance he got and when we argued I was made to feel like a fucking idiot. When I no longer wanted to fuck him because my body aversely reacted to his touch because how could someone you love beat the ever loving shit out of you and expect you to not be repulsed by such an action— he sought the comfort of a naive and dumb teenage girl that he could now manipulate and control. I was chided for being quiet and was used as a physical punching bag when he played games for the first 3 years of our relationship. That only stopped when he cracked my scalp open and threatened to kill himself when I made the decision to leave. I didn’t. That pattern of behavior is his norm: he threatened to do the exact same thing when I came home the next day after he cheated on me and I told him he would “have to learn to live without me”... I did not leave, because I’m a naive idiot who thought a narcissist would change his behaviors. Not a fat chance in fucking hell.

Obviously that wasn’t a completely consistent pattern but pretty frequent for it to be a norm for me. And I was okay with that being what my life was. That was the love I “thought” I deserved-- NO. Behavior like that is not o-fucking-kay... EVER. I will be the first to say, I was a victim, but I am a survivor and I will never let another man lay his hands on me, talk down to me, make me feel less than what I am or give me an ultimatum of him or nothing at all. I deserve more than what I got out of the relationship. And you know what? It was a blessing in disguise and I’m better for it now. Why? Because I am no longer under the subtle guise of control where I couldn't talk to people. I am no longer being forcefully coerced into relenting to his badgering when he wanted to fuck when I didn't want to. Made to feel bad about the things I enjoyed like RP and TWD. Made to feel like a god damned pennied out whore or belittled for the tiniest petty things. Hearing him bang out a teenage girl in the room next door to me spoke volumes about the person HE is and the person SHE is and the levels of RESPECT they did not have for me... as a person but also as that little cunt’s BOSS. Yeah, fucked the boss’ boyfriend, smart move.

I realize that I am more than the sum of my flaws. I know I’m not perfect, but god damn was I close to fucking “wifey” material as it could get with the level of “beck-and-call” bullshit I had to endure. I in essence lived two lives, I focused more on him than myself and I forgot about who Blue was. I still do not know who I am, but I know now that I am better for it now-- all the shit I endured. I will not settle for the familiar mediocrity that was my life.

Being able to be OPEN about WHY I can write Daryl so well is because I know what he’s been through. I understand why he is the way he is and how he is with his relationships because I’ve been in his shoes for so fucking long it’s ingrained into my being. I’ve been writing Daryl for the last 6 years as a coping mechanism for the shit I’ve endured and it makes sense why some people find my variant of him so intimidating-- because it’s fucking realistic. That’s not me being “elitist”-- I’m simply speaking facts here. I find that now I can come BACK to him because I don’t need to COPE on my own anymore because I’m growing... just like he is. We’re learning to not be so alone anymore.

I am living on my own-- in an apartment with my cat. I still have my health and my car. I’m almost done with school-- Fall semester here we go. I’ll be going to Galway, Ireland for the Summer for Photojournalism Study Abroad and I’m going to keep seeing this new guy that makes me feel great about myself. No conditions to his affections.

Just being me. And learning to love me and know that I am ENOUGH.

Again, I am Blue. I am Daryl’s mun and it’s nice to finally meet you.

[daryliisms]

status update

i might be coming back... not sure yet. might remake... but i wont be around for long. i’ll be going to galway ireland for 5 weeks at the end of june so no hopes on really getting much done until the uni semester is over. just thought i’d let people know i’m doing okay considering my circumstance...

[daryliisms]

Status Update

My boyfriend of 10 years cheated on me with a coworker while I was still in the house— mind you this cunt is 10 years younger than me so that’s adorable (he’s 30 and she just turned 19). Ah, I now have almost crippling anxiety and now lack an appetite therefore I’m losing rapid weight which is super unhealthy for me. I’m already a fucking twig.

Needless to say, I’m a fucking mess and wont be coming back for a long time.

I have all replies in my drafts. I will eventually get to them.

[vaememes]

💀    SONS   OF   ANARCHY   SENTENCE   PROMPTS   !  

*  A VARIETY & MIXTURE OF SONS OF ANARCHY PROMPTS, SEASON 1 & 2. CHANGE PRONOUNS AS NEEDED / FITTING .

❝ It ain’t easy being king. ❞

❝ How the hell you want me to get it out of there? ❞

❝ It’s gonna be different this time. This time I have my baby to live for. ❞

❝ I’ve made several gestures of friendship. He’s declined every one. ❞

❝ I got to tell you something, man. I mean it could be bad. ❞

❝ Let’s go into the photo booth. ❞

❝ You bring him to me first. I’ll pay anything you want. ❞

❝ I don’t want your money. ❞

❝ What? What do you want? You want to bond? ❞

❝ Don’t ever sit on another man’s bike, asshole… ❞

❝ I step outside for five minutes, you can’t watch him? ❞

❝ That love’s gonna kill me. ❞

❝ If I was to ask for some comfort, would you be about that? ❞

❝ The lie and the truth had to feel the same. ❞

❝ I said distract them, not scar them for life.  ❞

❝ So you stole an ambulance? ❞

❝ It was first love bullshit. I grew up. I got over it. It’s time you got over it too. ❞

❝ Somebody hurts your baby, you never get over it. ❞

❝ At least we know one good thing’s gonna happen today, huh? ❞

❝ You can’t change the rules, or it all goes to hell. ❞

❝ Just wondering what digging up dirt on old girlfriends gets you? ❞

❝ If I’m gonna stay, I need to know the truth. ❞

❝ You know why I run away from shit all the time? Cause I don’t trust anyone. ❞

❝ The right ones stay…wrong ones disappear. ❞

❝ When you want the truth, you come to me. ❞

❝ Why do you think I chose you for my second? Huh? ❞

❝ How do you know what I’m dealing with? ❞

❝ Everything caves under the weight of greed. ❞

❝ There’s never a good time for me to be around my kids. ❞

❝ What makes you think this would land on me? ❞

❝ Pull the trigger, man. That’s the only way this leather’s coming off my back. ❞

❝ I banished you, took what’s yours. These are the facts. You do as I say. ❞

❝ You remember that the next time you try to twist the truth to kill one of us.. ❞

❝ Whatever happened to 10-on-10 with no weapons? ❞

❝ Maybe they believe you, but maybe they don’t. ❞

❝ Truth is I know I’m going to hell. ❞

❝ Take him out? That means like kill him? ❞

❝ Can you at least pretend I’m a cop sometimes? ❞

❝ We could have our own little uniforms and hats. ❞

❝ To survive, you had to master the art of perjury. ❞

❝ You know all about us, and we know all about you. ❞

❝ Look, only way this relationship works is two of us together, or one of us dead. ❞

❝ The older I get, the more I realize that age doesn’t bring wisdom. ❞

❝ I’m not any smarter than I was 30 years ago. ❞

❝ I’ve just grown too tired to juggle the lies and hide the fears. ❞

❝ Self-awareness doesn’t reveal my indiscretions; exhaustion does. ❞

❝ I have this condition. I’m not even aware of it. ❞

❝ You’re gonna gag. I’m gonna laugh. We’ll be best friends forever. ❞

❝ We’re not nineteen years old anymore. ❞

❝ His solution is always an equal mix of might and right. ❞

❝ I’m trying to run a business here. ❞

❝ Come on; let me give you a quick hand job. ❞

❝ I’ll gut them dead bitches. I’ll flush their bellies with bleach. ❞

❝ I’ve been through hell, landed on my feet. ❞

❝ And I’m telling you, “brother”…giving me some more time? ❞

❝ I need for you to show me a little respect, and give me a few more days for delivery. ❞

❝ Don’t give a shit about history or respect. This is about business, old man. ❞

❝ He run into it or hit a tree while it was giving him head? ❞

❝ Most of us were not violent by nature. ❞

❝ How the hell you want me to get it out of there? ❞

❝ Blood and bullets are the rule of law. ❞

❝ We all had our problems with authority, but none of us were sociopaths. ❞

❝ I will not look the other way, [Name]. Just a friendly heads up. ❞

❝ I am going to do anything I have to do to protect him. ❞

❝ Some men cave under that weight. Others abuse the momentum. ❞

❝ The true outlaw finds balance between passion in his heart and reason in his mind. ❞

❝ I, you know-we can try to have a decent conversation. ❞

❝ You want to bond? You want to get closer? Fine. ❞

❝ I am not happy about being here either.. ❞

❝ I think quite a few have been there before. ❞

❝ Well I’m glad your ass is feeling loved. ❞

❝ What? What? Too soon for that joke? ❞

❝ Like I don’t have enough shit oozing out of my ears. ❞

❝ Nobody knows the truth in or outside the club; especially you. ❞

❝ I’m serious. I think it’s infected. ❞

❝ You guys gave it your best shot.  ❞

❝ I’m threatening you. ❞    

❝ That’s why the people who buy ‘em are, like, state and federal agencies. ❞    

❝ Oh, uh, just something like a small hospital or something. ❞    

❝ Why don’t you just steal, like, a fire engine? ❞  

❝ I’m his mother, and until I am dead and cold, I am going to do anything I have to do to protect him. ❞  

[daryliisms]

NOAH GUNDERSEN LYRICS SENTENCE STARTERS

You can change pronouns / nouns as needed.

You’ve been hanging around, been with me from the start.

You’ve been spinning me fast, like a tilt-a-whirl.

I’ve done a lot of living in this town.

You can’t build your bridges after you’ve burned them down.

I’ve done a lot of living, but I’m dying now.

How long should it take for you to learn your lessons from all your mistakes?

So long.

Everything must go.

I can’t leave it behind.

Who knows if I stand a chance?

But I’m trying anyhow.

It’s the first defeat– it cuts you to your bones.

You discover that home is not a person or a place but a feeling you can’t get back.

The second round throws you to the floor.

Takes you by surprise like the bullet you never saw coming.

This will be the last time.

It’s the little things that convince me to stay.

It’s your fingertips and the music they play to the beat of my heart and the rhythm our bodies make.

Honey, this will be the last time.

Oh, you’re kissing me again.

Oh, and I can’t see it.

You’ve got a lot of nerve to throw me out the way you did.

Half-naked in my bed, you said: this will be the last time.

All the words that will be spoken will never be enough.

All the storms that rage inside us fill our organs up with air.

All the hours we have wasted we will never see again.

So be good with what you’re given for it’s all you have to give.

We are only passing shadows in the mighty wind.

For the winter comes to show that our trouble is never over and our work is never done.

But with the turning of the season we will always see the sun.

Our hearts sing an honest song.

Packed up my piano and a suitcase full of clothes and I went looking for a better place to hide.

On and on and on and on the miles stretch for hours.

The radio keeps spitting out the tunes.

Every other song is just another tired rhythm, another tired lover’s tune.

It’s a long, long way back to [ insert town/city ].

But I promise I will see you again.

Through the ice and fog this morning the sun is coming up.

And every man is an island in his own special way.

But I promise I will see you again in heaven.

Take it back.

I would take it back for just another minute.

For just another chance with you.

I would give everything up.

I would give everything up– every last breath, every first taste –for you.

But it’s too late, to go back.

I can see the darkness, through the cracks.

Daylight fading, I curse the breaking.

The day is gone.

I’ll just run away like a child.

Now I see: my most constant mistake is i don’t know what I love till it’s gone…

I let the darkness seep through the cracks. 

Love is bleeding, I curse my breathing.

His love was fearless.

He got away.

Her love was ageless.

She got away.

Your love was endless.

You pushed so far.

My love was aimless.

I lost the line.

I got away.

It is the evening of the day.

I sit and watch as tears go by.

My riches can’t buy everything.

All I hear is the sound of rain falling on the ground.

I keep kicking at the curb with my worn out shoes.

I keep running into stranger’s that say I know you.

I don’t wanna be a proud (wo/man) just wanna be a (wo/man).

A little less like my (father/mother) and more like my (dad/mom).

I wanna hunt like [ insert name ].

I wanna slay my demons, but I’ve got lots of them.

I try to keep my conscience clean.

I try to keep myself out of your bad dreams.

I try to wash my hands for you every night.

[daryliisms]

ALEX | & DARYL:

            mercy is a dying art out here, but it’s to be expected. these days if you don’t know what you’re getting involved in you just shouldn’t do it. if alex had bother taking her own advice maybe she might’ve missed the legionnaires that captured her. maybe things would be a lot different, it’s not smart to dwell on maybes. they’re a death sentence.                 when the gun’s handed back to her, she holsters it. it looks like she’s thinking, maybe she’s in prayer? it’s hard to tell, even for her these days. after all, there’s no god that’s listening to them. alex can’t imagine any kind of god listening to them after the nuclear holocaust but maybe he had stopped longer than that. just like that, though, she turns away from the sight in the distance, back to the city skyline in the distance. she swallows, and there’s a moment where she hates her own cowardice, her own urge for self-preservation. if she was stronger, she might have tried to save him.          but she is not, and that was not her fight.          ❛  yeah,  sounds  good.  ❜  the weaponsmith remarks with a nod of her head, tongue darting out to wet lips as heavy boots hit the sand that seems endless. ripped up tar and sand, that was all that was left of this area anymore, the ghosts of a civilization long dead.  ❛  so,  daryl  -  right?  how  do  you  like  new  vegas,  the  changes  mr.  house  made  and  all,  i  mean.  ❜  she didn’t do well with silence when her own thoughts were as bad as they were.

THE SCREAMS CONTINUE TO ricochet throughout the valley as Daryl waits on his new companion to join him. After all, he was on an escort mission to return her back to New Vegas in one general piece. If she didn’t live, then he didn’t get paid and the effort wasted to ensure her safety was null and void. Though whether or not she wanted to side track on some meandering expedition to save another, that was wholly up to her and he would gladly be along for that ride. But Daryl was lucky that such farces didn’t seem to be worth their effort. Self-preservation was the only vice that Wastelanders seemed to care about and rightfully so, he reckoned.

When Alex finally clambered down from the ridge where they had taken a vantage point, Daryl began leading their way back down the way they came. “Hmm,” he asked when she made to call his name, “Oh yes’m it’s Daryl. Mr. House-- I don’t know to be fair. I ain’t in New Vegas often enough to take advantage of whatever the city has to offer.”

Truth be told, he hadn’t stayed more than a couple days at a time in the city on account of having his own bounty for raucous dealings and other shenanigans he got tangled in on occasion. But this was information she need not know about. His own dealings were his own business. “I reckon you ain’t all keen on what all this Mr. House is doin’ to New Vegas?”