I have got to get over this girl. We were best friends for a year or so and we both liked each other, just didn't know it. Then I noticed she was starting to flirt rather heavily and rather often. My best guy friend confronted me one day and asked me if I had feelings for the girl. I told him yes. Later I fund out from someone else he liked the same girl. So I asked the girl to lunch the next day and told her to stop the flirting because it would hurt my friend. I also told her of my feelings for her, and told her it wasn't nice to tease me since she didn't like me (I thought she didn't like me). She told me that she did, in fact, like me and that of course that made me instantly lose all concern for my guy friend. We got together, in the process ruining my friendship with my guy friend. After only 3 months, she said she didn't like me anymore and we broke up.I'm still not over her however. I really have to get over her because every time I think about her I get really depressed. How should I get over her? Should I get over her?I know your answer to the 'should' will obviously be yes based on all your other answers to similar questions. However I genuinely feel my case is different. We're both diligent Korean students, and are both devout Christians. We were both each other's first bf/gf. I'm 19 and I have never had sex, kissed a girl, or even said told a girl I loved her. So when I say I lover her, I really mean it. She's amazing and perfect in every way. If after 5 years she likes me again, I would still think she was worth the wait. If I move on and get over her, I'm not going to find another girl either. So should I move on? If so, how? Because nothing is working...
zendor32 answered:
Dear Anonymous,
I personally pursued a girl's heart for a year before and I finally did give up. My dad chased my mum's heart for 9 whole years and it worked for him instead.
Yes, love can drive you to do the wildest things. The question is not about whether you should get over her or not, but whether you are willing to pay the price of waiting for her if you do.
You must understand you are a willing party to wait for her, and she isn't obligated to accept you at all as a partner. It means she can go out with other guys without having to explain or report to you, and you have no right to be jealous.
If she did ignore you, you cannot pressure her back towards being nice to you, because you willingly waited for her.
This is a test of longsuffering and patience and obviously many people will advise you against it. However, if you do wait, be prepared to suffer emotionally and psychologically willingly because of her.
There are too many guys out there who think they are nice guys and use their 'sincerity' to win other people's hearts. If you expect her to be obligated to respond to your sincerity, your sincerity is not real; it is a loan that you expect to be repaid and not of willingness.
Ultimately, have no regrets in your decision even if you do not get what you really hope for at the end of the day. That's because you knew the price to be paid, you chose that decision and you stuck by it.
I suggest for you not to pressure yourself to wait for her, even if you do want to wait for her. Give yourself space to explore your feelings with other girls in the midst of your waiting for her, and do not feel obligated towards that girl whom you want to wait for, because you both are not in a love relationship.
That way, you do not have to feel too upset or discouraged if she doesn't respond to your waiting. A real man knows how to let go when it is necessary.
Yet at the same time, you can take efforts to appreciate her, and impress her when the chance or occasion arrives. She may find herself liking you all over again when you do that.
If you so decide to move on, and since you are a believer, the Word of God says, "Houses and riches are the inheritance of fathers: and a prudent wife is from the LORD." Proverbs 19:14 (KJV)
Believe Jesus is for you. He is able and most willing to act now, to bear your emotional struggles, and cause your circumstances or surroundings to work for the favor of you, irregardless of whether you feel you deserve it or not.
Regards,
zendor32
