shit, let's be santa

A holiday exchange for davejade fans all around! Submission sheet under /form, and icon by squibly! 

[davejadesecretsanta]

Trial and Error:

@kittendick says: For @fowypupdraws! I loved being your secret santa, although I’m sorry it’s a lil late!! I got caught up at the vet’s office with my dog’s various issues. He’s alright though, so I hope you like your gift! 

It takes you a long time to work up any courage to say it. 

It’s gotten to the point where you’re both crashing at each other’s apartments every other weekend, either because it gets too late to catch a bus home or she wants to go to the beach in the morning. 

You sleep on the couch, six feet away from her hellhound of a mutt, and as hard as it is to sleep with Bec’s unnerving, disjointed breathing on the other side of the living room, you manage. She lets you sleep with one of her many plush blankets -this weekend it’s the one with the Squiddles logo emblazoned on the front- and somehow the smell of her favorite laundry detergent keeps your dreams from being too far off and eerie. 

You always wake up first, and while you whip up bacon and eggs, you think that mundane thought for the first time. I love Jade Harley. It puts a weird taste in your mouth, like copper pennies on the floorboard of a car, but you set down the spatula and stare at the griddle for a few minutes. 

You love Jade Harley. 

You love the way she always messes up her nails when she tries to paint them herself. You love the way she collects mismatched socks in her bottom drawer. You love the texts you get on Tuesdays, the ones that read: ‘Tuesday? No problem.’ 

You love the way she always holds your hands when she leads you into the water at the beach, like she’s afraid you’re going to get caught by a riptide and drown. You love how no matter how many times you tell her you’ve been in the ocean before, she insists you are ‘young in these matters, Mr. Strider.’ 

You love Jade Harley. 

You decide to make pancakes along with the eggs and bacon. 

The next time you think it, you’re splitting ways at the university, her to her biochem finals and you to your film exams. 

She stops at the place where both of you usually part ways, looking thoughtful.  “We’re friends, right?” She asks, and you raise a brow. 

‘Depends,’ you think, ‘Does me being in love with you change any aspect of friendship?’ But you don’t say that. Instead your traitorous mouth wraps around: “Yeah, ‘course.” 

Jade looks you in the eye determinedly. “Good. As your friend, I’m ordering you to do well on those exams!” 

“I’ll do my best, just try not to fall asleep during yours.” You retort, and Jade makes a face at you. 

“Low blow.” She says seriously, before breaking into humoured laughter, and you shoot her a smile before both of you are off. 

The exam feels longer with her laughter in your ears. 

You almost say it one night. She’s asleep on your shoulder, bored by your choice in filmography, and you can’t convince yourself that you care for the French film either. You’d thought about kissing her earlier. 

She was drinking peppermint tea (the only kind you remember to keep in your pantry, it’s her favorite, after all) from a nondescript white coffee mug from your kitchen, and you had wanted to kiss her so badly it turned your heart over several times. 

You didn’t though. 

Now she was asleep on you, and you know you’re going to have to rouse her to convince her to take refuge on your sofa. You hesitate though, counting the heartbeats between her breaths. You linger there, in the spaces between the intake and outtake, and you want to say it, just once. 

You don’t though. 

You chicken out one last time before you cave. 

She’s studying, lips pressed against the eraser of her mechanical pencil, and you know she’s concentrating on something. Aspects of thermodynamics, it seems, from a quick look at her page. Your own textbook on historical and Renaissance art is simple in comparison, so you watch her instead. It’s almost hard, trying to sneak glances at her over her kitchen table, and as Raphael and Brunelleschi slip from your head, you think it again. 

You could do it now too. She’s so focused on her studies that you could lean across the table, kiss her square on the mouth, and be out the door in mere moments, barely enough time for her to realize it happened. 

Instead, you tap your own pencil against the edge of your binder in an impatient rhythm and meander back to the color print illustrations on the page. Your head starts to hurt by the fifteenth artist you’re forced to cover, although you can’t tell if it’s the Italian names throwing you for a loop or that you’re a coward. 

You don’t hesitate the next time, to your horror. Jade is wet-haired and content from the beach, and the day’s hot sun has long set behind the horizon, leaving the cool evening to dry both of you off. You decide to catch something to eat from one of the shitty boardwalk restaurants before heading back to your car, and that’s when it happens. 

The car was supposed to yield, both of you had the right of way anyway, but they come ripping through like it’s the apocalypse. The loud revving of an engine and the flash of a headlight is the only thing that gives you time to react, and you yank Jade out of the way as the shitty Mustang speeds past. They don’t even slow or stop, but you can’t find it in yourself to be anything but terrified. 

The boardwalk is still completely empty, it’s far from tourist season anyway, but even if there were onlookers, you doubt you would do anything different. Your fingers are iron clad on her wrist, as you loosen your grip you reach down to run your fingers over the forming bruise. “Sorry- shit. Sorry.” 

“No- it’s alright, really. You got me out of the way, it’s fine-” Jade says, but you don’t give her room to continue before you’re wrapping your arms around her, reveling in the fact she’s alive. 

“You almost died- that douchebag didn’t even stop—“ You take a shaky breath. Her hair smells like her green apple shampoo and sea salt, and you press your nose into it. “Shit- I love you.” 

Jade tenses before relaxing, her hand coming up to rest between your shoulderblades. She grabs a little at your damp shirt and puts her other hand on your cheek as she pulls away from your grip, and you feel your heart stutter its way into your throat. “I love you too, Dave.” 

She kisses you then, and you figure everything’s gonna be a-ok, given no more douchebags in sportscars ruin the evening. 

[davejadesecretsanta]

Teacherstuck/Christmas-stuck for queen-nepeta-leijon

from: @thecrossoverqueen !

Jade Harley reached into the Santa hat filled with teacher’s names from an academic department she didn’t run in the same circles with. She wanted the one on the very bottom because they usually get forgotten. When she snagged it and pulled it out, the office assistant passing around the hat left to the next person. She opened the hand-cut red construction paper to find a name and some suggested gift ideas written in black pen: 

dave strider

music i guess

sunglasses

ms lalondes homeroom fuck my homeroom theyre all little shits (The whole suggestion was crossed off and he had added a new bullet point underneath.)

a date (just kidding but seriously i swing both ways no i dont really care who/where/what)”

Jade frowned at the paper. She had never heard of Mr. Dave Strider, so she looked at the phone directory when she got back to her classroom and saw that he was one of the history teachers. The people who organized the event purposely selected different departments in an effort to boost an intra-community morale, most likely attempting to get teachers to encourage communication and trust beyond the confines of their own areas of study. Jade had been doing this for about five years now and she only kept up those “Secret Santa” friendships for about a week, then had a falling out after the winter break started.

She wondered what kind of weirdo would ask for such an odd amalgamate of gifts. She sighed at the third bullet and put the paper in her pocket. She decided to focus on the list after she finished writing her lesson plans for the last week before the winter holiday.

-

Dave Strider wished he didn’t have to do this event, as he was the newest teacher to transfer to this school after the last one he worked didn’t agree with his (admittedly incessant) complaints about the shitty textbooks he was forced to work with. He worked with that school for five years and he was pretty sure they had been written pre-Clinton era. He could write a dissertation and earn a doctorate explaining what was wrong with those books, and that was just the physical quality of the books themselves, not to mention the outdated material.

He lazily picked a name from the top of the Santa hat and left the teacher’s lounge. When he got to his classroom, he opened the red paper and read the cutesy calligraphy he had ever seen.

Jade Harley

astronomy documentaries!

any book about evolution really

i like dogs!

(honestly ill be fine with anything you give me!)

She seemed cute. He looked up her name and saw that she was a science teacher. No surprise, considering two of her suggestions were about science. But also considering that most books and documentary DVDs about anything scientific were more than $10, the only option he had left was a dog. Obviously toys were the only option here. But there were literally hundreds of dog species. What if she hated the kind he chose? It seemed unlikely but he really wished she could have specified. He sneezed. He sniffled and called Lalonde.

“You didn’t get me, did you?” she asked right off the bat, not even saying “hi.” “If I got you, I wouldn’t call you,” he answered. “Get some logic in that huge head of yours.” He knew her well, since they were cousins. It’s a simple coincidence that they teach at the same school. He explained his predicament to her and she listened.

“Do you want me to be myself?” She means being a nosy meddler. Which she was good at. She was a language arts teacher, after all, required her to be an exceptionally good writer and being well-read, which she was both.

“Sure. Go nuts.”

-

“Miss, what are we supposed to do again?”

Jade had had it up to her ears with these middle school kids asking all these questions literally the minute after she explained everything.

“Miss Lalonde doesn’t make us do work!”

“Well, I’m going to call you out on that because she just told me that you were studying for a test tomorrow,” she retaliated, concluding that Rose owed her big time for this.

“Oh shit, she told you!”

Jade promised to watch Rose’s last period of the day because she had a family emergency. Jade’s last period of the day was a planning period so she only agreed because she had time. She was beginning to remember that having a class at the end of the day was absolute torture, because no child this age wants to be in class when the school day is so close to ending. She cherished her silent hour more now than ever.

After forty-five grueling minutes, the bell rang and released them from their prisons. Jade yelled something about studying for the next day as the students all rushed out the door. Jade found herself not caring anymore because they weren’t her students anyway.

She went back to her classroom, which happened to be right next door, to find Rose closing a desk drawer.

“Might I ask where you have a pen?” Rose asked. She had borrowed the room to deal with her family emergency.

Jade squinted. “Yeah, just use the student stash,” she answered, pointing to the sink in the front of the room. She kept a recycled can of pens for students to borrow during class. She usually got them back, which was rare among middle school students. Jade made sure of it.

“Thank you,” Rose said, not looking distraught in the slightest. This was a major change from earlier, where she had come to Jade pleading for privacy to call home. Why Rose needed a pen baffled Jade.

“Did everything go okay?”

“Yes, it turned out to be a false alarm. You know how these baking accidents go. My mother and her partner did not require the fire department this time.”

Every word that came out of Rose on a normal basis made Jade scratch her head, and this instance was no different. “That’s good, I guess.” Rose looked around expectantly. “Paper?” Rose nodded. “There are sticky notes on my desk near the dog figurine.” It was a Hachi figure, which was the last thing her grandpa got her before he died. She treasured it.

Rose proceeded the use both note and pen before replacing the pen and walking past Jade, clicking her short heels on the way. “Thank you so much, Jade. They are a handful but they are my highest leveled students.”

“You don’t say?” Jade said in a much higher pitch than she intended. She could hardly believe that rowdy bunch got anything done.

-

“Mr. Strider, I have returned from my quest,” Lalonde said as she entered Dave’s classroom.

“What quest?” Dave asked, not looking up from his laptop.

“To find out what Ms. Harley likes?”

He flicked his eyes up to tell her move on, then focused back on his lesson plan.

“The answer is wolves.”

“That was cryptic.” He heard no response and looked up. The door he had propped open was empty. He sighed and finished fine-tuning his lesson before logging off.

The final bell cued him to go home, where he spent the drive home deciding if wolves were actually dogs or not.

He drove up to his undecorated apartment and decided it was time to do that. He rooted through the Christmas bin to retrieve the welcome mat when an old Christmas card fell out. It was from first grade, where he had his first crush. Some girl named Jade gave him a card and a drawing for secret Santa because that’s the only thing first grade children could afford. She drew both of them holding hands and titled it “Dave and Jade Strider.” It was sickeningly sweet and Dave was only sorry for his parents’ decision to move before the end of the year.

He wondered where she was now.

-

Jade went home that evening to her under-decorated house and decided that this weekend would be a great time to fix that. She found many things in those giant boxes, one of them being keepsakes. She would save that for last because she would forget to do everything else. Once she had gotten the living room done, she went on to hook up indoor lights in her and grandpa’s room. He lived in her house after retirement and mostly watched TV all day. She was fine with it as long as he cleaned up after himself.

“Hi grandpa!” Jade greeted as she walked in his door.

“Hey, Jade!” he replied.

“So which color lights do you want in your room this year? Snowflakes or green?”

“Jade, Jade, Jade.” He shook his head. “You know me.” He winked.

“Reindeer lights it is.” She went back out and opened the box labeled “lights.” She opened it to keepsakes. She looked at the lid and saw “lights,” but the sides said “keepsakes.” She must have switched then last year. She shrugged and was about to close the box when a Christmas card from first grade caught her eye. She blinked before registering that she remembered exactly who she drew that card for. She flushed for a moment, embarrassed that she had totally forgotten about her first crush.

And that if she thought correctly, his name was written on the slip of paper in her pocket. She pulled it out to double check the name, which matched the card’s name scrawled in wobbly, crooked penmanship. The “E” was backwards but they were a match. He even drew himself with sunglasses.

She must have sat on the ground at some point, because when her mind stopped reeling, her legs were asleep.

But there was a thought that this was all one huge coincidence. Next Friday was the exchange, so she had all week to confirm.

She looked at the list again chose one of the items. It was a little more than the ten-dollar price limit but it was going to be worth it.

-

Dave was only slightly nervous when he first saw Ms. Jade Harley on Monday morning. He bought the brightest green dog toy he could find (he went to so many places; you would figure that toys ‘r us would have aisles and aisles of stuffed animals), and was currently wrapped in his desk. He tried to get the bag and tissue paper to match but lime green is in short supply during the holiday season.

Ms. Vriska Serket, a fellow history teacher, knocked on his propped open door at lunch.

“History department meeting after school,” she said with her usual “I know something you don't” smile. Usually the information she held was pertinent, since she and her buddy Ms. Kanaya Maryam were thick as meddling thieves.

“Spit it out already,” he said, wanting to eat his lunch in peace.

“Your secret Santa is someone you know.”

“It’s not Rose, so stop teasing me.” He opened up a video file for his lunchtime tutoring students. “Don’t you have a para to torment?”

“Not in front of the students of course, I have more tact than that.” Mr. Tavros Nitram helped the autistic department as a paraprofessional, which is a noble calling; not for everyone but he understands them. “Besides, he’s not participating in the event.”

“Why are you here again?” Dave asked, getting bored.

“Meeting after school. Be there or be square.” At that, Vriska left. He hates her telling him what to do, and it doesn’t help that she’s the department head.

In any case, the day flew by, but the meeting was molasses. What Vriska said bugged him. Who else did he know here? He didn’t venture outside the history department much. He did his job and went to PTA meetings and the like. Maybe they were from high school. Maybe Vriska was pulling his leg.

Dave jolted awake when Vriska called the meeting to a close, remembering that he usually wore his sunglasses so that he could fall asleep in these meetings.

Tuesday morning, he checked his mailbox and found a note from his secret Santa. It reminded him that he needed to send one, too. Honestly, this school has too many Christmas traditions.

It was a typed note that read only four words.

“Note the coolness factor B) ”

The note was cryptic as hell. He put it in his pocket and got ready for the day.

-

Jade expected something that morning, but got nothing. She checked back at lunch and could have sworn she saw Dave leaving. She hoped he didn’t figure her out as his secret Santa already. Like in her shoujo manga, she hid around a corner until she was sure he was gone, then peeked inside her mailbox.

The note had one solitary word in it:

“Bark.”

That wasn’t cryptic as hell.

Did he figure it out? He probably doesn’t even remember. What was she even doing? She had no idea how to be smooth or suave or mysterious. It wasn’t her thing. This school’s traditions were pretty out there, even though she’d been doing them for years, and who knows if the hoops they made the teachers go through were even working.

Again, what was she even doing?

-

Wednesday and Thursday provided no traditions or hints, so Dave was glad not to do either of them. Friday came too soon, but at least he was prepared.

The gift exchange came at the end of the school day, when everyone had turned in their grades for the semester. He was surprised that the teachers weren’t terrible procrastinators. One thing that irked him was fun being cut because others can’t be on time like him. He finished about twenty minutes ago.

They were all in the cafeteria with gifts in hand, waiting for the exchange and grub before they were all given the green light to go home.

“Now that everyone has arrived,” said Ms. Feferi Peixes, the most animated principal he had ever worked under. “Let’s get this party started! We’ll start with the history department!”

Gift in hand, Dave went up to the podium and joined his fellow teachers. Vriska went first, presenting her gift to the baseball coach, Mr. Karkat Vantas. That man should not wield a blunt object, but that’s a story for another day. They sneered at each other as she handed him an obvious gift-card-shaped envelope.

Dave went last and he handed his gift to Ms. Jade Harley, who had not looked him in the eye the entire trip up. She finally looked up and beamed at him, accepting the gift.

“Thanks, Dave!” she said, flashing a toothy smile. She practically skipped back to her designated lunch table. The whole scene, seen by the entire faculty, made him flush slightly. Mostly out of embarrassment, but a little out of flattery. This girl he didn’t even know probably would have been happy with anything he gave her.

The next thing he knew, he was sitting back at his own designated lunch table, unable to shake the feeling that he actually did find her familiar.

“And now the science department!” Peixes said as enthusiastically as before.

-

Jade and all the other science teachers migrated to the podium. She clutched her gift from Dave and felt that it was soft. He had gotten her a dog toy. She smiled at the realization. In her other hand was the gift for Dave: a smallish box that could contain any of his previously suggested gifts. She bristled with excitement.

She went last and handed her gift to Dave. Most of the faculty was shocked. This never happened as long as Jade herself was here, not as long as she could remember anyway.

He accepted it in a stunned silence as recognition spread over his face.

“You’re that Jade,” he said under his breath.

She nodded. “The one and only Jade you know.”

He chuckled, breaking his resting cool face for once. She could hear the reactions from every staff member, and they were along the lines of, “Get a room!” and “Down in front!”

Everyone went back to their tables. They waited patiently to open their gifts, even though most of the staff had already done so. Once the departments had all been called, it was time for food. Jade went straight to Dave’s table.

“So you figured it out?” she asked.

“Mrs. Dame’s first grade class,” he answered, then paused. “‘Dave and Jade Strider?’ Seriously?”

“Oh, don’t remind me! We were six!” she laughed.

“Open my gift first. It’s kind of lame, since I was so slow to the punch with this one.”

She shrugged and opened the green packaging. Everything was green. She retrieved the toy dog and clutched the soft thing to her chest. “It’s not lame at all! It’s plushy.” She put it in her lap and stroked its head like a real live puppy. “Your turn.” Her heart was beating out of her chest. She hoped he would like it.

“It kind of feels like gift cards. Tell me, were these before or after you figured out who I was?”

“Just open it, weirdo!”

He did.

-

Inside were two gift cards. They were a two-pack. It was one of those deals where there was a card for a restaurant and a movie theater. He had forgotten that he wrote “a date” as one of his suggestions.

He thought for about ten seconds, feeling Jade tense up next to him.

“So if these are mine, where are yours?”

“Shut up, Dave!” she laughed, shoving him in the arm lightly.

He guessed she accepted.

[davejadesecretsanta]

queen-nepeta-leijon: 

My gift for @psychopyro813 I did not have time to finish the story in time, however I made a soundtrack to go with it! If you still want me to write the story though sweetheart, I’ll be glad to give it to you personally! I will be posting it on AO3 sometime this week too. Anyways, hope you like your gift, and I hope you had a great Christmas.

Also the title is kinda stupid, sorry for that lol

[davejadesecretsanta]

@psychopyro813

Here is my gift for @timeandrelativeaspects ! I hope this is fluffy enough for you; have some furry ear scritches!

[davejadesecretsanta]

hey so here’s my (sort of) secret santa present for @kittendick 

I hope that they like it!

[davejadesecretsanta]

my gift for @thecrossoverqueen i’m a really big fan of her work so i hope she likes it c:

a sort of headcanon/alt-canon drabble. 

When he first appears on LOFAF, all you can think is Wow, he looks really different.

Not that the pictures or video calls were necessarily inaccurate. It’s just that in person, Dave seems to have so much more…dimension.

You jump on him, of course, because it’s been ages since you’ve been able to touch another human being. Having come straight from LOHAC, his skin feels warm against yours. But it’s his laugh and his responsive hug that feel even warmer.

–

Your name is JADE HARLEY, and you’re starting to realize that DAVE STRIDER is pretty damn great.

Initially you were just really happy he was here on LOFAF. Even with Internet access, it tended to get really lonely on your island! It was nice to have someone always available to talk to.

But whether it’s his time powers or just pure coincidence, he’s always there just when you need him - when a frog keeps slipping out of your grip, when you trip and faceplant into the snow. It feels nice to know that someone’s looking out for you.

And besides his attentiveness, he’s also incredibly good-looking. So maybe you have the faintest inkling of a crush on him. That shouldn’t change anything, right?

–

Your crush on Dave continues to grow. But focus, Jade, focus on the mission, which is to breed the Genesis Frog. That’s the most important thing here.

Still, there are times when the two of you take a break from frog breeding to just hang out, do some R&R, and pretend you’re normal teenagers who aren’t responsible for creating a new universe. Those times are the best times, because that’s when you really talk to each other. And he’s so sweet and funny and adorable…

The two of you are sitting on the couch in your living room after a long day of frog breeding. You’ve put a movie on, but Dave’s more focused on ranting about how creepy all the stuffed figurines littering the room are. Of course, you want to pay attention, but you’re just so tired that you start to tune him out. You lay your head against his shoulder and close your eyes.

He stops talking then, wrapping an arm around you and pulling you closer to him. He murmurs something under his breath, something like you’re the most beautiful girl ever, and presses a kiss to your temple.

You wish life could always be this good.

[drawsbypip]

Davejade Secret Santa for Kitty, @kittyscommittee! Merry Christmas!

I apologize that this came so late ^^;

I really hope you like this. I hope you’ve had a wonderful Christmas B)

[davejadesecretsanta]

Lifetimes Apart

@kittyscommittee says: my gift for @unfoldinglikeaflower! You said you liked AU’s and angst, so have both! I love writing both, that’s for sure. I hope you like it, and happy holidays!! (It ends pretty happily though!) 

-Kitty

No matter what ties bind us, no matter what timeline we're in, and no matter what lifetime we're living, something drags us inevitably, inexorably, and invariably together.

In one life, your lips are stained with kisses, and we're happy.

In another, your lips are stained with blood, and we're not.

The difference between those two is a bullet, a sword, and an arrow. A stone's throw, a crow's caw, a dog's howl. Everything is different. Everything is always different, but it's also the same.

The way I love you never changes. It's always all-consuming, slow and fast all at once. It rips me apart and sews me back together like patches on a quilt, and you're the seamstress, pricking yourself with the needles. 

I would kiss you, but my mouth is always too dry, my lips too chapped. I know if I'd just gather myself and do it, things would be better, but I'm always hovering, waiting for the right time.

It rarely ever comes, but I wait anyways.

I want to keep a book of the times we've met, for the times in between where I'm waiting for my next chance. I want a book of my mistakes so I can avoid them, and I want a book of my victories so I can relive them.

I am Dave Strider in every life, and you're Jade Harley. Our names change and our backgrounds flip flop, but I am always me, and you're always you, and I'm always wildly, wildly in love with you.

-----

The first time around, you bring things to life, and I kill them. We're Life and Death, twisted around each other so tight even fate can't find a way to detangle us. You're shining and beautiful, dripping in gold and awash in silver. I'm still crimson where you're a brilliant green, and wherever you go, I follow.

You're the Witch of Space, made up of stars and celestial debris. You can make anything by molding stardust into what you want, and no matter what you make, I will kill it. I'm the Knight of Time, defending something that doesn't need protection, and no matter how sturdy you make your creations, they cannot escape the tick of the clock.

You don't hate me for it. You never do. It's just the cycle of Life and Death. Without one, the other could not exist, and you continue on your way, casting a shadow for me to hide in.

I'm thankful for that much.

-----

Another time, you’re the princess and I'm the knight, only I'm not yours in the slightest. You are a gift of peace between two countries, and I'm the younger heir to a throne I will never have. My older brother marries you, and I watch as he kills you.

It's slow and painful, watching you wither under a marriage you didn't want, and this time, I cannot save you. No-one blames you when you ask the apothecary for poison, but everyone is surprised when it is not my brother that you poison, but yourself.

-----

The next time you're a stablemaid and I'm the prince. You care for all of the hounds like they're your own, and I watch from afar as you patch them up after hunting accidents. You hate the royal boar-hunts. With every trip and troupe, at least one dog comes back dead or injured, either at the end of a stray arrow or the tusks of a boar.

You marry a traveling trader in that life, a respectable desert man, and from what I can tell during trading visits, you are happy. I do not look for you again after I realize that.

-----

In one life, you're a worker of magic again, bringing plants back to life with your touch and taming horses with a word. Your hair is just as dark and beautiful as the first, and your eyes just as green. You are a woman named Janquil, skilled on horseback and even more so with your words, and you shine even brighter than any other.

I follow you in this life, just to be your shadow again. My heritage from a line of tinkering travelers gives you the opportunity to run when the war against witches begins. We travel down the line to escape the war, but it reaches us anyways, and when an arrow takes me, your tears burn hot as they fall onto my skin.

You sacrifice a part of your soul so you can find me again, and although it takes a few lifetimes in between, you do.

-----

The next time we meet, you're a governess and I'm the heir to a company and estate I don't want. I never seem to want the things I'm given in these lifetimes. You're sent to tutor my young cousin, an orphan living at the estate, and I fall in love with you from the other side of the bookshelf as we exchange novels. I mark the ones I'd think you'd enjoy with green paint along the spine, and you leave your recommendations in the window seat. It's a silent relationship, but a happy one that spans over years.

When you die of scarlet fever, I cut ties with the family name and move to London to become a clockmaker. By the end of my life my hands are sore and my eyes are weak, but every clock I have ever sold has been painted with a green lily along the bottom.

-----

World War II ravages our next life together.

You're covered in someone else's blood when I first meet you, your white uniform spattered with gore, but I still think you are the prettiest woman I've ever seen. I'm a wounded pilot, crawling out of a crash landing with blood spilling along my jaw and neck, and you're the nurse that saves me.

As you patch me up you joke that I'm never going to make it as a model after my close encounter with death, and with my quip that you probably could, you flush a deeper shade of red than the blood on your dress.

When the attack on Pearl Harbor hits, I die trying to hold things together, and you spend the rest of your life trying to build it back up.

-----

You’re a witch again in the next timeline, blessed with great magical potential and a sharp wit, and although many familiars fight to be by your side, I eventually win.

I'm a particularly powerful being, given the ability to change forms depending on what you need me for, and as a bright young hedge witch, you grant me the freedom to be a normal man if I so choose.

I choose to stay with you anyway, dashing between a human form and the one of a crow.

We're happy in this life, happier than we've ever been, and in early modern New York, we build balcony gardens and new lives for ourselves. Modern times brings a strange mingling of magic and science, and you balance the two on the edge of a blade, bridging the gaps with formulas and theories.

The laws binding magic users are strict, and combined with your brown skin and wild hair, discrimination is fierce. I count your freckles and kiss your tears away when you come home to slurs along our windows, and the next day, we scrape away the red paint from the windows.

Neither of us die young in this life, and it's my favorite victory. When you finally do pass over, I choose to follow, as familiars usually do. I used to wonder: all dogs go to heaven, but do crows follow suit?

Turns out, they do, and in every life after that, things work out alright.

[davejadesecretsanta]

@unfoldinglikeaflower​‘s gift for @davejaders​!!

All I Want For Christmas Is You

The house is filled to the brim with Christmas decorations, and you begin to think to yourself that not even Santa Claus himself is this into Christmas as Rose Lalonde’s mother is. You’d also like to think that she puts a literal meaning into “I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus”, because if Santa were real, she’d be all over him like jelly on toast.

You take a sip of the eggnog in your hand, pretending to listen intently to the rant Karkat is busy delivering to you. He always does this, and most of the time you really do listen, but your mind is a million miles away right now. Every once in a while your eyes drift over to the other side of the room where a lanky blond in a red suit is busy conversing with Terezi. You kind of wish it were you over there conversing with him, but you’re not. You’re in the spot you are currently standing in, listening to a stout angry man rant about the world. Kind of the opposite of what you want, really. You sigh and take another sip of your nog.

“–And then he has the nerve to call me out. Me! I mean, I was so ready to–”

“Hello, you two. I didn’t mean to barge in, but I spotted Jade’s dress and just had to compliment her on it. It’s quite gorgeous.”

Kanaya, Rose’s girlfriend, cuts into your conversation, pointing at the dress you’re wearing. It’s a sleeveless, barely-above-knee-length black sparkling dress with a green trim on the top and bottom of it, as well as a green ribbon in the middle. You’re wearing gray striped tights with it, and ruby red shoes to match (sort of like Dorothy’s own ruby slippers!) You have a few other small, red embellishments that you added, partly because of the holidays, and partly because of a certain someone not-to-be-named who happens to wear the same color constantly. Just a mere coincidence, really.

“Thank you, Kanaya!” you chirp, beaming. Karkat cuts back in, visibly irritated.

“Excuse me, Kanaya, but I was in the middle of a conversation here! That was pretty fucking rude of you.” Kanaya snorts, ruffling Karkat’s hair, to his dismay (it doesn’t help that she’s a giant in stature compared to his dwarf-like appearance).

“Oh, come off it, Karkat. It is not like Jade was even listening.” Karkat turns to you abruptly, scowling.

“That’s not even the slightest bit true, right, Jade? You were listening to me, weren’t you?” You grit your teeth, brows furrowed as you slowly shake your head.

“Sorry, but no … ” Karkat storms off in a huff, leaving you alone with Kanaya.

“Just like him to think everyone is ready to listen to every last thing he has to yell about. Besides, I know exactly why you weren’t listening.” Kanaya suddenly dons a coy grin upon her face, tenting her fingers as a sparkle forms in her eyes. “You were checking out Mr. Strider over there, weren’t you?” Your eyes widen and you grow stiff in place, feeling the color leave your face.

“N-no!” you stammer, berating yourself in your mind for sounding dumb. “That’s not … hey, wait a minute … Rose sent you over to confront me, didn’t she!”

“I must admit, my intrusion was all her doing. She’s been noticing your certain … transfixation on her cousin, and she intended to make you do something about it. She knew you wouldn’t listen to her, but perhaps if another person consulted you on the matter, it might give you the extra push you need to interact with him? Perhaps tell him how you feel?” You shake your head violently.

“I am doing none of those things! Tell Rose that perhaps she should keep her suggestions to herself, okay?” Kanaya realizes you’re not going to give in right away, leaving you to your own thoughts.

“Alright, well, at least consider it, okay? I’m sure you will find your feelings are not as one-sided as you think.”

As you watch her walk away, you gulp and start to move backwards before bumping into something, immediately releasing your death grip on your cup. You catch sight of a hand extend out as you turn, catching the cup in mid-air before it hits the ground. You follow the direction of the arm to its owner, a certain man decked out entirely in red. He adjusts his posture, standing upright again, placing your cup back into your hand.

“Here, you almost dropped this.” The ability for you to formulate words escapes you completely as you stare back at Dave Strider, who is most definitely standing in front of you.

“Uhhhhh …” you trail a moment before remembering how to speak again, “Thanks.” You swear you see a flash of a smile, but as soon as it’s appeared, it’s gone in the blink of an eye.

“No prob, Har. Didn’t want you to have to clean anything up.”

Always the gentleman.

“Uhhhh … right.” What the hell is WRONG with you??

“So, you enjoyin’ the party? I was gonna wear my sweater that said, ‘Jingle My Bells’ but Rose specifically 'forbade’ it. She said it was a formal party and that I wouldn’t be getting any presents or desserts this year, the witch.” You watch as his lower lip protrudes from his mouth, creating an adorable pout.

“I’ll give you something sweet,” you blurt out without thinking, but then try to recover quickly, “I meant desserts! I have desserts … John’s dad?” You mentally facepalm yourself.

“Oh yeah, his dad is a baker, isn’t he. Your uncle, right?” You nod your head.

“Yup! Uncle Egbert knows his way around a kitchen. Wish I could say I inherited those skills too, but alas alack.”

“But you’re not at a loss of skills. You’ve got the bitchin’-est green thumb around,” he offers, making you smile a bit. “Also, I know you’ve got a better taste in movies than John.

"Oh yeah?”

“Hell yeah. You watched both Kill Bill movies with me, so that’s already saying something.” He takes a sip from his own red solo cup, his eyes peering at you over the top of his shades.

“This is true. John’s kind of a wuss when it comes to movies. He wouldn’t even watch Django with me!” you say as you wave your arms around sporadically.

“Why didn’t you ask me to watch it with you? I would’ve in a heartbeat, you know that, Harls.” Heat prickles at your cheeks, and you’re almost positive your face is turning a stupid shade of red as your heart jumpstarts at his comment.

“Uhhhhhh …” Suddenly you’re at a loss for words again, berating yourself in your mind. Damnit! You just wish you could hold an entire conversation with him without freezing up! It was never like this when you first became his friend, but ever since you realized your feelings for him, you never really knew how to act now. Every talk with him became terse now, and you hate yourself for it.

“You okay, Har? You’ve been acting a little strangely,” Dave comments, and you feel the full force of the blush on your face, your throat closing up.

“Uh, yeah! I—uh—I gotta go! I just remembered!” Your feet seem to find a mind of their own as you rush away from him, heading towards the door.

“Jade where do you think you’re going? The party’s just getting started!” You flash past Rose who recognizes you without a thought, her brow arched upon her forehead.

“I gotta get home early. Something about Grandpa needing me? Anyways, thanks!” Your getaway is swift and short-lived, because after you make it off her porch, you remember something very important—there’s a coating of snow lying on the ground inches thick, and you left your jacket inside on the coat rack, leaving you cold and feeling as naked as the day you were born. So much for leaving early.

“Yo, Jade!” You turn on your heel to see Dave exiting his cousin’s house, your black pea coat in is hands as he rushes up to you. “Jeez, Har, you’re gonna go out into cold-as-balls weather and not bring your jacket? Are you tryin’ to catch a cold or something? Here.” He holds the jacket out to you, waiting for you to slip your arms inside it. You do so, embracing the warmth of your jacket eagerly before you freeze your butt off.

“Thanks, Dave,” you thank him shyly, a slight smile gracing your face. He smirks back at you, and you feel it warm you up right at the core.

“No prob, Har. Didn’t want you to freeze, is all. Walk you home?” The last part slips through his lips in a slurry of words, but you still pick up on it, nodding your head in response.

“Yeah, I’d appreciate that.” He gestures in front of himself, allowing you to walk ahead of him, out down the sidewalk. You’re glad you don’t live too far away, but you are grateful to have someone accompany you in the pitch black of the night, the lamps the only thing illuminating your way. You feel something begin to sting at the tip of your nose and you see specks of white float down from above, more snow gracing the earth.

“Looks like we’re gonna be getting some more snow again,” Dave comments, taking his shades off to rub away the flakes that have melted on them. “Ugh, I fucking hate snow. Heat is where it’s at.” You gasp, shaking your head.

“No way! Snow is amazing! You can build snowmen, have snowball fights, make snow angels … the fun is just endless!”

“Yeah, it’s fun if I want to freeze my ass off in it. No thanks.” You pout, but don’t argue further, letting the conversation die. You watch Dave out of the corner of your eye as you walk side-by-side with him. Perhaps Kanaya and Rose are right—maybe you should tell him …

“Whoa. Har, hold still.” You’re about to ask what Dave is talking about, but then it turns dark, a pair of cold-as-hell hands covering your eyes.

“Hey, what’s the big idea?!” You try to swat Dave’s hands away, but he manages to hold you off.

“Just hold on a sec, okay? I’ve got something cool to show you.” A huff escapes your lips but you comply, trying hard not to think of how close you are to Dave as he guides you towards wherever it is he’s taking you. He lifts his hands not too long after, but you keep your eyes shut until he gives you the okay.

“Ready?” you ask him.

“Yup. Go ahead and look.” Your eyes flutter open and let out a little gasp, your mouth falling into an ‘o’ shape.

“Wow! This is beautiful, Dave! I love Christmas lights,” you smile, admiring them next to him. The house in front of you is enormous and decked head-to-toe with twinkling white lights along the edges, and the bushes with bright, vivid rainbow lights. Two little decorative reindeer are seated on the front lawn, both bowing down as though they are eating grass.

“That, I can agree on with you, Jade. Nothing makes the Christmas season better than lights,” Dave says, his arms folded to his chest, lips quirked upward.

“Mm, I’m gonna have to disagree with you there, Dave. That’s not the only thing that makes the Christmas season great.” Dave turns his head towards you, his brow arched upward.

“Oh yeah? What is that, praytell?”

“Hot cocoa!”

“Hm, I’m not sure about that, Har. I think I need a lil’ convincing.” You stare at him a moment, contemplating the weight of what he’s just said. He needs convincing. From you. Fuck it all to hell! If you’re gonna do this, you’re gonna do this right!

“You’re gonna eat those words, Strider,” you huff, finding his hand and threading his fingers with yours. “Let’s go!” You tug Dave along down the snow-trodden sidewalk, not pausing even a moment to provide idle chatter. He says nothing as he follows beside you, but he’s smiling–a real, honest-to-god smile–and you can’t help but feel euphoric. Score one for Jade Harley!

Eventually your feet find themselves planted out front of the Harley Mansion (Dave likes to call it that, but it’s only because your house is fractionally bigger than his, amongst the nouveau riche district of your neighborhood), and you’re telling him to wait outside a moment while you fix him the best goddamn cup of cocoa he’ll ever taste in his life. As you begin to putter around in the kitchen, you catch sight of your grandfather eyeing the window, his brow arched.

“Jade, is this young man on the stoop waiting for you?” he asks, and you can almost feel the game of twenty questions begin to happen, but you ignore him for the sake of science—making the perfect cup of cocoa.

“Yes, Grandpa. That’s Dave. You’ve met him before plenty of times,” you huff, popping the mugs into the microwave.

“Are we going to invite him inside?”

“No,” you tell him firmly, because you’re on top of your game at the moment, and as long as your grandfather is inside the house, you’ll have no family interruptions on you and Dave.

“Alright, alright, I get the picture. If you need me, I’ll be in the den writing letters. Be good!” You pause a moment to let him peck you on the forehead before watching him disappear down the hall, relief washing through your system. The timer on the microwave dings and you grab the cups of cocoa, making a mad dash to the door without spilling a drop, glad to see Dave still waiting on the front porch.

“This better be a fucking good cup of cocoa, Har, because I’ve been turning into a fucking icicle out here,” he huffs, but you know he doesn’t mean it as he takes the green mug you hand him graciously, and you stare at him as he takes a sip, awaiting for his approval.

“So?”

“So,” he begins, his face still placid, your heart racing, “This is probably the best fucking cup of cocoa I’ve ever had. You’ve outdone yourself, Harley.” You practically jump with joy then, because hot dog! You won his approval, and you didn’t stutter at all during it! That’ll be ten points added onto your scoreboard, for sure. “But,” Dave adds at the last second, and your smile drops from your face.

“But?”

“But I have to disagree with you again. There is one other thing that makes the Christmas season great.” What? You can’t possibly see how there’s something you’ve been forgetting! What could you have missed that’s so important that even Dave noticed?

“And what’s that exactly?” He sets his mug on the railing, offering to take yours to set it beside his. You’re not quite sure why he’s doing that, but you let him, wondering just what his answer is going to be. He points upward above you two, and as your eyes turn upward, you feel your face heat up like a furnace, the cold be damned.

“Mistletoe.” Your muscles go taut and stiff as your eyes flash back to his, finding his glasses pushed back up onto his head. His red eyes gaze into yours softly, his mouth twitching upward at the corners as he reaches over to grab your hand, the cold no longer a problem you have to worry about. “You okay with this, Har?” The only movement you make is a quick nodding of your head, your eyes closing as you ready yourself for the moment.

And holy hell, you were not prepared.

Dave closes the gap between the two of you as he leans forward, his lips pressing up against yours fervently, threading his fingers through the thick locks of your hair with his free hand. You feel yourself being warmed up at the core, the sensation spreading outward to the tips of your fingers and toes. Against your better judgement, you push yourself even closer against his chest, deepening the electric kiss being shared between the two of you. The sparks light your brain up, the overwhelming thoughts in your mind sending you into overdrive. You could probably do this forever if he’d let you.

But, alas alack, the kiss ends after a minute (a minute!!!), Dave leaning his forehead against yours, the tips of your noses rubbing together lightly.

“You have no idea how long I’ve been dying to do that.” Your mind explodes at that comment because what??? He’s been wanting to kiss you for a while now and didn’t bother telling you?!

“Huh?” He chuckles at your confusing, his hot breath warming your rosy cheeks.

“I really like you, Har.” Ohhhhhhh. You think you’ve got it now.

“I really like you too, Dave,” you echo back to him, a smile forming at your own lips. “You know, you can kiss me even without the mistletoe.” He grins at that, his eyes lighting up with mirth and eagerness.

“You promise?”

“Promise.”

“Good.” He presses his lips against yours, this time for only a chaste peck before saying, “Now that that’s over, can we please go in your house? I really am underdressed for the cold.”

“Oh! Whoops, forgot about that. You wanna go inside and watch a Christmas movie with me then? I’ll make popcorn,” you offer him, gesturing to the door.

“You had me at ‘inside’,” he says, almost sprinting to get inside once you open the door. You giggle, your heart still racing as you find your way inside behind him, thinking to yourself that this is probably the best Christmas you’ve ever had.

[davejadesecretsanta]

davejaders:

here is my gift for floralprintartist !! ♥ i hope you like these lil lovebirds………

[falloutsilver]

“I’ll stay with you through time and space…”

To: @bread-gate

I swear Jade’s hair is black! I’ve just added so many effects, colors and mixing! So yeah, I hope you like it! It was so much fun to make! 

[davejadesecretsanta]

assignments have been sent out! if you didnt get one, your submit was closed, and i sent you an ask requesting that you open it. good luck, and have fun! 

[davejadesecretsanta]

Thanks to all the people to have submitted so far, I’ve gathered you up in a document with your preferences/dislikes!

I am still taking submissions, and I will be until November 29th at the latest!

[davejadesecretsanta]

DaveJade Secret Santa!!

I know there was recently a davejade event, but if anyone’s up for another one, the DJSS is opening up! 

It’s getting near that time of year, with all the Christmas jazz and the holiday excitement! So, if you’re interested, the DaveJade secret santa is totally happening! Just pop it, fill out an application, and I’ll match you up! 

Forms can be found here, and the askbox is open! Submissions close November 27th, and you will most likely receive your assignment on either December 1st of 2nd! Gifting is from December 23rd to December 26th! 

If you have any questions, shoot em in!