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Noah Kahan
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
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Misplaced Lens Cap
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@daveparts
A Cussing Affair
By David Glenn Cox Why would they ever say such a thing? I mean, sure, it’s all propaganda and all that, but still. This is just weird. Centcom announced that owing to a shortage of interceptor missiles. The US will no longer be defending against “all” incoming missiles. Just the ones that look like they’ll hit somewhere close. So, if you happen to hear some rather ugly news reports about…
Lucky Thirteen
By David Glenn Cox I hate crapping on SpaceX all the time. I love space exploration and space hardware. But when I look at SpaceX, I see “The Music Man.” We’re going to Mars! And we’re going right now! And you’re going to build the rocket! The future is now because I say so. Gonna have a city on Mars with a million residents. And you could be one of them. Gonna be as easy as riding a bus. Fares…
The Numbers Game
By David Glenn Cox The other day, I received the following Substack post. “I got 4,000 subscribers in just four months!” And then, of course, the obligatory, “And you can too!” It reminded me of those ads you used to see in the back of boys’ magazines. “I made $10,000 raising earthworms in the backyard, in my spare time!” and of course, here it comes. “And you can too!” Earn Big Money! raising…
Between Zombie Senators and Congressional Clown Shutdowns
By David Glenn Cox A zombie senator, a rotating cadre of cabinet secretary whack-a-moles. Go take one for the team! Go make the rounds of the talk nonsense circuit. An invisible man as Secretary of State. “Marco, we’re going to be working late here. Run down to the corner and pick us up some sandwiches.” He doesn’t negotiate in Iran. That’s Abbott and Costello’s job, Turner & Hooch. The bagmen.…
Who Would Be Stupid Enough?
By David Glenn Cox A tiny little mouse cried out, “We’re still open to negotiations, ya know.” Who said that? “I did, and I’m the Secretary of State around here sometimes. The language of de’tant requires nuance and subtlety. “We’re still open to negotiations, ya know.” Forbes had some “policy expert” genius dropping similar hints. Oh, I suppose the time has come for negotiations. The…
Glory Daze
By David Glenn Cox If you live long enough, you will certainly witness history repeating itself yourself. When I was but a sweet young lad with cheeks of tan, LBJ sent B-52s to bomb North Vietnam and the Ho Chi Minh Trail. Day after day, week after week, month after month. What’s wrong with those people? Why won’t they give up? Richard Nixon had a secret plan to win the Vietnam War. Step one.…
Jail Birds
By David Glenn Cox I was sitting here musing about the Trump administration. Exciting, huh? But I had been considering the disastrous appearance of Krash Patel, the Fermented Beverage Inspector, before Congress. I’ve been watching these things for a long time and this was truly, truly a poor, poor performance. Part Mafia Don, “I don’t know nuthin!” Part college freshman over his head in deep…
How Are You Going to Keep them Down on the Farm
By David Glenn Cox This is a strange little story. It’s about a man who lived in a nice little house on a nice little street in a nice little neighborhood. Then one day he took a trip across the sea, and when he landed there, everything was much bigger. The airport, the cars, the roads. Everything was bigger. The plates of food were bigger, and the beers were bigger too! This was all heady…
[Attention America]
By David Glenn Cox It was such a small story and so barely noticeable. Satellite photos confirm that the radar sets have been removed from Russian Arctic bases. It says so much about Russia’s current predicament. That they would leave one flank so completely unguarded. You could attack with a fleet of Goodyear blimps and they’d never see you coming. The Russians are running out of radar sets; I…
All Quiet on the Western Media Front
By David Glenn Cox Rumor has it that Russia is running out of interceptor missiles. Million-dollar missiles fighting off $10,000 drones. Missiles originally designed to hit other missiles and hundred million dollar fighter jets. It’s just simple math. It’s hitting a mosquito with a sledgehammer. A gold plated sledgehammer. The Russian Pantsir missile battery holds six rockets, and when they are…
A Little War is a Good Thing
By David Glenn Cox Come on, fellas, I’m insulted! You’ve had over a bleeding month and this is what you came up with? It’s like they were surprised by it all. “They really want to see a photograph of Mitch.” Wha? What for? Tell them “He’s feeling fine and raring to get back to work. “Sir, they really want to see a recent photograph.” Do we have any photographic experts on staff? “No, sir.” Any…
All Bets are Off!
By David Glenn Cox Rest in peace, Lindsey Graham. A man who spent decades trying to make America better and finally accomplished it. But remember, like my mother used to say; “death comes in threes.” If I lived in Washington’s lights and was over seventy, I’d watch myself. But if my name was Mitch McConnell? You’d have to be old enough to remember the old “Soviet” ways. In “Soviet” times,…
Heroes Run in My Family
By David Glenn Cox I think there should be a rule. You can’t take credit for peace if you started the war yourself. It’s sort of like rewarding the arsonist. It is amazing, but not surprising. And our top story tonight: a dangerous heat dome over Topeka! And then, the little dog bit the mailman! No news? We are at war; you know? Anything happening on that front? My gas tank and wallet really…
Odysseus is Home!
By David Glenn Cox This is a little different because it’s so much easier when it’s someone else’s family. Who knew? The United Kingdom had their own Trump-like troubles. My late wife loved following the Queen and the British nobility. Too much soap opera for me, but for nostalgia’s sake I dropped in to see what the Windsor family have been up to lately. Holy shit! It was like walking in on a…
“The Islamic Republic of Japan”
By David Glenn Cox The NATO meeting went boffo off the rails. Important issues were decided, and positions were strengthened and solidified. For example; it was agreed by all privately that Donald Trump was officially off his rocker and roller skating on one skate. Oh, where to begin? “The Islamic Republic of Japan!” Or my favorite, repeatedly calling President Erdogan of Turkey president Putin…
The Trump Depression
By David Glenn Cox What is going on? Those crazy Iranians attacked three ships in the Strait of Hormuz. What’s wrong with those people? Are they crazy? Are they insane? Why would they do such crazy, crazy things? Don’t they want peace and good fellowship? Don’t they want to keep their winnings after fleecing President Doofus? Why, oh why, would those crazy Iranians ever do such a thing? This is…
The Sunsets of Tomorrow
By David Glenn Cox I had a friend who was a truck driver in the army. He said that the way they had the trucks geared, top speed was only around 55 mph. In a convoy, the front truck had its foot to the floor while the truck at the end of the convoy is stuck in third gear and only doing 35mph on the interstate. That is logistics in a snapshot, making everyone go at or near the same speed. All it…