Trailer Park Supervillian

(I'd like to see them fucking try.)

[daveyziltcho]

Okay guys, focus!!! The recruiter is gonna be viewing this post any minute and I wanna get signed on as a professional shitposter! Oh god, here he comes, I gotta look busy!

THE CORN IN MARUCHAN INSTANT LUNCH LICKS DICK!!!

[daveyziltcho]

Funking, the goddam, the grinch. I am him.

[daveyziltcho]

I hate the grocery store. No, I don't wanna be stared at by an old lady, I just wanna dress up in my stupid single-color sweatsuit like Chaz from Royal Tennenbaums. Does that make me a spectacle? Yes. Should you look at me in a dazed trance as I snatch up all three of the last Sprite Winter Spiced Cranberry mini cans? No. Leave me be, Appalachian mothers.

[daveyziltcho]

Pro tip: just absolutely lose it. Go bonkers. Go mad.