stations blur into one big rush of noise and fluttering pigeons, the fleeting sight of legs walking across the platform and a chase of light and shadow on the subway seat in front of him.
all johnny can think about is the gun.
it's heavy in the waistband of his jeans, like carrying too many keys in your pocket, and presses against the skin of his stomach - the metal is warm which makes johnny feel dizzy, he's heating this weapon with his own blood and the beat beat beating of his heart.
he doesn't mind the killing- he really doesn't.
it was easier than he thought, but then again, last time was an easy shot because the park ranger (richard bellinger, it said on the door to the hospital room) had been lying in bed, unconscious.
another three stations pass in a blur that feels like a feverish headache.
johnny wonders if the nurses really do think that bellinger just succumbed to his wounds, like the don said they would.
johnny's fingers ghost over the bump of the gun under his waistband, it's as if he can suddenly smell that expensive perfume in the dirty subway car, hear that silky-smooth purr of a voice.
sometimes he can't help but hate jimmy for being so slow.
it's always johnny who has to clean up the mess, who has to scramble for a solution. he's seen the men who lounge around the don's villa like honey-eyed tigers, has noticed the way cars seem to follow him and jimmy ever since their first trip to grandpa albert.
grandpa albert. he should have known jimmy didn't have a clue about what they were getting themselves into.
there's a plan- he'll be in and out of the apartment in no time, johnny's a good enough shot and jimmy's a follower, he just needs to stay still for a second while johnny does what he has to do. and then they can hide out in the don's beach house, apparently mostly used for expensive vacations with whoever's up high enough in his ranks.
they'll be safe for a moment. they'll have time to breathe.
johnny just has to do his job first.
the gun is heavy and warm at his hip as he exits the station.
it'll be hot at the beach, and the don will give them enough money to enjoy their hide out. johnny wouldn't mind a few hundred bucks, and jimmy's dad is an asshole.
he's been eighteen since march. he's ready to take on the world.