I haven’t been active on tumblr lately, because I’ve been embarrassed.
I didn’t have any self control for most of February. I was a pig. I stopped limiting my cal intake, i stopped exercising as much, i let myself get fat.
I gained eight pounds, but not like bloating/i just ate pounds.
Permanent pounds of fat from weeks of being a fucking slob with no self respect and no self control.
I’m ashamed. I feel so insecure and i am SO disappointed with myself.
My boyfriend even admitted he prefers skinny girls, and I’m not really physically his type.
My boyfriend doesn’t deserve a fat girlfriend.
I dont deserve to be fat. I deserve better. So i need to do better.
I am loosing at least 20 pounds by easter.
as of last night, I am fasting.
I am hoping to fast for a MINIMUM of three days.
Once i literally cannot fast anymore, I am transitioning to a liquid fast.
I will maintain my liquid fast for at least three weeks (till easter break), or until I loose 20 pounds.
I know this sounds extreme, but I need to do this. I will achieve this. It is getting warmer out- its almost time for shorts and tank tops.
I refuse to look like an obese hippo in public.
My boyfriend does not deserve to be humiliated like that. I will not let him have a fucking inflated pig for a girlfriend.
I lost twenty pounds already, gained back five, but now its time to get a fucking grip and loose the next twenty.
- smoothies (fiber! And protein if i choose protein powder)
- oatmeal (i know its not fully liquid- this will only be before workouts or if I get that nauseous hunger. Plus its an incredible source of fiber and the ones i use are very low cal)
- juice (fresh pressed only- none of that orange and apple juice w a million grams of sugar 🙄)
- fruit+veggies (ONLY when im fainting or my fast is making me incapable of doing things I really need to do, and ONLY in EXTREMELY SMALL amounts)
- greek yogurt (same restrictions as oatmeal, and only in very small amounts)
- vitamins and supplements!!!! Always!!!!
- MINIMUM of 10k steps a day!!!
- gym at LEAST 4x a week!
- forcing myself to open tumblr, tt, and twt Every. Single. Day. So i cant hide from my motivation, thinspo, meanspo, and guilt tripping.
- my boyfriend agreed to fat shame me for motivation, and he always congratulates me when I see positive progress! This combo works really well for me, meanspo makes me very motivated to not eat, and being praised when I do loose weight makes me even more motivated to keep going.
- post on tumblr at least once a day. Be public with everything I eat and exactly how much I weigh.
If you read all of this, thank you! I always follow back bc I love having mutuals in the community 🩷
Also, if you have any meanspo, tag or dm me! It would really really really help.
Thank you angels! Love y’all 🫶🪽