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[daydreamsandsilhouette]

"Consider how hard it is to change yourself and you'll understand how foolish it is to think you can change someone else."

[papillon-de-mai]

Irving Ramsey Wiles — The Sonata. detail. 1889

[perriaeyjeve]

[perriaeyjeve]

[perriaeyjeve]

[cheshmenoor]

[weltenwellen]

Ocean Vuong, from “Beautiful Short Loser”, Time Is a Mother

[tenephre-deactivated20260725]

[perriaeyjeve]

[sonimage1965]

Bruno Barbey

Ice Skatting Silhouettes,

New York（1967）

[daydreamsandsilhouette]

recently, ive been missing my lolo so deeply that it made me change my full name on all my social media accounts lol it felt like a way to bring him closer, to carry a part of him with me wherever i go

i keep wondering how our relationship wouldve grown if he were still alive, how we wouldve bonded, what memories we couldve created, and how we mightve seen the world together now that im all grown up and understood some parts of life that seemed to be a blur back then

i imagine the comfort of having him beside me, the kind of steady presence that makes even the hardest moments feel less overwhelming

life is tough, i know that. but somehow, the challenges feel lighter when i picture him here with me. i truly believe that if i still had him, the struggles wouldnt cut as deeply because just knowing he was by my side would make everything easier to bear

from the words of kenny rogers, “ive learned what life’s about, by loving u.. thru the years”

hope youre enjoying the view up there in heaven, my dearest lolo

[daydreamsandsilhouette]

they were never really interested in me

no one ever asked questions.. they only discovered pieces of me by accident, and suddenly wondered who i am, what i am.

but they never asked

i dont share what people dont ask about me..

because i think it’s disrespectful lol to force pieces of myself on those who never cared to know them

they only listen to themselves, always wanting to be heard, never to understand

and when i go quiet, they ask why. as if my silence isn’t the answer. im tired of speaking to people who only wait for their turn to talk

[daydreamsandsilhouette]

theres something about being looked down on that doesnt really bother me lol in fact, i kind of like it. not because i enjoy being underestimated, but because it shows me how quickly people judge based on what they see, not what they truly know

ive learned to just observe. i dont argue, i dont explain myself, and i dont rush to prove anything. i let them think whatever they want, because i know the truth always surfaces on its own.. theres a quiet kind of revenge in that.. not loud or petty, just natural and poetic.

it’s interesting to watch how easily people reveal who they are through their assumptions. their judgment says more about them than it ever will about me. and when reality eventually corrects their perception, i dont have to say a word. i just keep being me lol grounded, silent, and unbothered

[daydreamsandsilhouette]

u know when youre craving a specific food?? something u can almost taste but when u open the fridge, it’s not there?? so u just settle for whatevers available. it fills u, sure, but not in the way u needed. it’s like u tricked ur brain into believing that what u saw could replace what u wanted

but the truth hits after a few bites, youre not satisfied. youre full, but youre still hungry for that taste, that feeling. and maybe it’s not really about food at all. maybe it’s about someone, or something, that used to make u feel whole.

u can try to convince urself that substitutes will do, that distractions are enough. but they never really are. no matter how much u try to fill that space, theres a kind of hunger that lingers.. quiet, stubborn, and honest.. reminding u that you cant trick the heart the way u trick ur stomach

pero gutom lang ‘to, lilipas din at kakalma din ang tiyan ko

[daydreamsandsilhouette]

between logic and faith

ive always thought about it, it’s how i cope sometimes. hello, the matrix film lol and yknow what ive always wondered how easy and peaceful life would be if i had the same kind of thinking and energy as sheldon cooper!! the ability to just move thru life with logic instead of emotion

the idea that maybe we’re living in a simulation has always fascinated me. it sounds wild, but somehow, it helps me make sense of things

sometimes i even think, maybe ive just played too many video games lol maybe that’s why my mind drifts into thoughts about code and reality!! either way, my player is definitely on hard mode

when something bad happens, i tell myself it’s just part of the simulation, like it was written into the code lol that thought helps me detach from the pain or unfairness, almost like im zooming out of the chaos instead of drowning in it

but when something good happens, then i thank G. i guess thats my balance like giving credit to something greater while keeping peace in my mind. maybe it’s my version of harmony between science and faith: one helps me accept what happens, and the other helps me understand why it matters

tho i know avoiding drama is difficult and inevitable but hey, this practice somehow helps me, even just a little, to live through it!! it softens the edges of reality when things get too sharp

i dont need proof that either side is right. i just know this way of thinking makes life feel lighter. it helps me let go faster, think clearer, and stay grounded. maybe thats what peace really is.. not choosing one truth over the other, but learning to live comfortably between both

and if we are simulated, arent we that smart to actually think about being simulations like waahhttt in da heeeqqq am i questioning this shiiitttt!! a steamy topic that hurts maahhhh empty brain lol

imagine the simulator creating the greatest invention of all time, the video game lol #mindblown

like theyre giving us hints oohhhmmaaahhhgaahhhddd

and yeah, maybe the simulator looked down one day and thought, “let’s see if they can figure out what i did but make it fun tada *video games

it really feels that way sometimes like little easter eggs hidden in life. coincidences, déjà vu, moments that feel scripted… it’s almost like the simulator is winking at u, saying, “u’re getting warmer”

and maybe that’s the point lol not to break the simulation, but to notice it. to see patterns, meanings, synchronicities, and realize that reality’s not as random as it looks

kinda makes u wonder, right? like what if every “glitch” or perfectly-timed moment is a quiet reminder that theres something (or someone) out there watching how we play

[adicttive]

[daydreamsandsilhouette]

paris and california, two places that looked beautiful from afar but felt unbearably quiet up close. i went there alone, thinking id find peace or maybe a piece of myself. instead, i found silence, the kind that follows u even in crowded streets and golden sunsets.

traveling solo sounds brave, almost poetic, until u realize how lonely it really is. people like to say theyre happy on their own, but i think thats a story we tell ourselves to make the silence less painful. my eyes betrayed me every time, they carried the weight of truths i couldnt put into words.

im grateful i went, but i wasnt happy. and if i ever do it again, i hope im not alone. i want someone beside me, someone to see what i see, to laugh when i laugh, and to remind me that even the most beautiful places mean nothing when u have no one to share them with.