𝒉𝒂𝒓𝒅 𝒕𝒐 𝒍𝒐𝒗𝒆

[dayeonhd]

º ✧ 。––– ( ♡ 𝒏𝒂 𝒅𝒂𝒚𝒆𝒐𝒏 ) / profile / points / pinterest / intro / yours truly, 𝖗𝖔𝖘𝖎𝖊 🌹

[rileyhd-deactivated20250222]

• ╱ ꒦꒷🧐𖦹៸₊ʚ🤓

As Dayeon takes a seat beside him, Riley looks up from his notes and closes his iPad. He notices her deep sigh and willingness to strike up a conversation, which indicates that something might not be going as planned. His once cocky smile deflates to a mere smirk; while one side of him wants to offer compassion, the other side is weighing his options. He is unsure of Dayeon's true intentions and decides to play it cool. However, he understands the pressure of the task and wouldn't blame her either way.

Riley speaks with a mixture of excitement and nervousness as he talks about his new experience. "Leading a group of students is a completely different experience compared to working with other trainees," he explains. "It's challenging, but the rewards are incredible. To be honest, I was a bit nervous at first. However, as I continued working with the students, they quickly caught on. I'm also learning a lot in the process. It's amazing to witness the progress we're making, and I feel like I'm making a real difference."

He smiles again, feeling grateful for this opportunity. "How about you, Dayeon? How are you finding the experience so far?"

[dayeonhd]

when dayeon was first informed about the task, she couldn't help but worry first. that's a habit that she got after becoming a trainee because of the uncertainty of this whole life. however, once she actually landed in california, she decided to change her mindset. this was a one in a lifetime opportunity, and she didn't want to spend it mulling over situations that may never even happen. nevertheless, she still couldn't help feeling anxious over what this will mean for her at the end of the day.

"i'm still nervous," she admits with a slight shudder of her shoulders. "it goes beyond just being good at singing, dancing and performing. i'm sure there's so much that can be said about us as we lead a group of students." with that, she purses her lips together before holding back another sigh. "i hope i'm making a different in the lives of these students." she wanted everybody to get something out of this opportunity, and she just wasn't sure if she was providing it.

shaking her head, she decided to stop being such a nervous wreck for a second. "are your students following through? i think i'm still trying to form a relationship with them so they feel comfortable coming up to me with questions and stuff, you know."

[hdnamu-deactivated20240317]

namu perks up when dayeon thinks; his full, undivided attention going towards the other. he nods his head as he listens along, taking in the information. he shook his head, however, when asked. "i don't think it's a terrible idea!" he says. "as a team, you have to figure out how to work together and how to bounce off each other in a sense, right?" he says. it made sense to namu, or maybe that was because he was simply a social butterfly. but, when you're a member of a group, a member of a team, you have to find out how to get along, right?

he can't say he's ever lead anything or really taught before. he's helped out others with vocals before, his speciality. but, besides that, he can't say he's ever really done anything of this nature. not to mention, anything with dancing or choreography. that's something namu would never take the lead on, considering he really thinks he has no knowledge in anything dance or choreography. he simply just did what others told him to do and taught him to do when it comes to that. it always made the most sense to him, rather than putting his own two cents in about dancing.

namu nodded again in agreement, "oh! that's true too! i'm sure they'll get natural chemistry in that sense too," he says. "though, it would be cool to be able to take the trainees out and give them an experience that they could share together to help build their team work and stuff up," he says. "but, i don't think we'll be allowed to do that," he says, giggling softly afterwards. "ah, if i'm being honest," he says, "i don't really know much about dance or choreography... i just do what i'm told and what i'm taught, especially with tying it into performance. i don't think i'm that good of a dancer," he says, giggling softly once more. "but, i'm going to do my best to help with the choreography!" he states, giving a very firm, reassuring nod.

[dayeonhd]

"the free reign that was given to them was a little scary, if dayeon had to admit. she knew that at the end of the day, what'll eventually matter was how well their students performed. thus, her head was flooded with thoughts and ideas about how to make that happen. the song their group had been given had that liveliness that she thinks would be hard to fake, but she barely knew her students. could she really get them to become friends in such a short time? a faked friendship could come back to bite them in the butt instead.

"yeah, a part of me thinks that if they work together in this sort of intense, competitive atmosphere, they'll be wary of one another instead of become friends. do you get what i mean?" while dayeon wasn't someone who would do that, she's seen trainees at hydra herself who were more competitive than cooperative, so she was aware that it could happen.

she can't help but chuckle at namu's confession before shaking her head. "trust me, i'm more of a vocalist myself but as a regular viewer, even i can tell if something about the performance is off." biting down on her bottom lip, she lets out another sigh before thinking about what may be the best solution. "right now, we should probably just leave them to get to know one another. if we get to one of the interim evaluations and end up hearing something about teamwork then i guess we can do something then?" she knows that, at that point, it may seem too late, but she didn't want to force something on the others just yet.

[dayeonhd]

𝒙𝒐𝒙𝒐, @hdshohei

"do you think we should be focusing more on their vocals or the choreography?"

with the question thrown out into the open, dayeon pressed pause on the practice video their trainees have taken for the day. she was proud of the progress they have made, but even she could tell that there were still things they could definitely improve on. however, she's never really taught before and was thankful that she had her peers to rely on. if she had to lead them on her own, she probably would have locked herself in the bathroom a few times.

"i guess that's pretty broad of a question. i feel like the vocals are a little shaky but maybe that's because i'm more of a vocalist myself," she confesses with a chuckle. it's true that she tends to think more about the vocals, especially because to her, bad dancing can usually be covered up by a little charisma and wit. however, singing off-tune and being out of breath was more obvious to her, so that's all she could point out from the video they took today.

[dayeonhd]

𝒙𝒐𝒙𝒐, @hdnamu

"the choreography has a lot of points where they'll have to work together. do you think it'd be a poor idea to take like a few hours where we pass by on technical training and get them to know one another?"

one thing that dayeon's learned from her previous experience as a leader was that not everybody was going to be on the same page as herself. that was difficult enough working on her own, but now that she had a whole team to lead along with fellow instructors, she knew how important it was to juggle several opinions and thoughts together. while she wasn't expecting to clash much with namu, considering how well they already got along, she didn't want to make any quick assumptions.

"or do you think we should leave that on their own time? like i'm sure spending so much time together will lead to some natural chemistry, right?" running a hand through her hair, she let out a deep breath before looking down at the papers filled with formations in her hand. she's gone through the choreography video almost a hundred times now, and the more she looked at it, the more she realized how important friendship—or at least being able to fake it—was important for this song. thus, this felt like a crucial decision to make.

[dayeonhd]

𝒙𝒐𝒙𝒐, @rileyhd

"so, i'm not sure if i'm supposed to be conversing with the enemy, but how's your team going?" with that, she takes a seat beside riley before letting out a sigh.

dayeon swears she's not trying to pry anything out of riley. it's pure curiosity, really. while she doesn't know everything about her fellow trainee, this opportunity they've been given appears to be a new experience for many, and she was curious on how he was dealing with it.

"the last time i was a leader, it turned out pretty well, but that was with a bunch of other trainees. it feels weird leading a group of students." she puts an emphasis on that last word because it just feels so odd to her. it wasn't so much that she was nervous, per se, but there was such a huge sense of responsibility that came with the positions they were given.

[dayeonhd]

𝒙𝒐𝒙𝒐, @hdchaeyeon

admittedly, it had been a little hard to watch her friends and peers get picked to debut one by one while it seemed like she was stuck in a loop. a neverending loop, if she may add. nevertheless, she couldn't be more than happy upon hearing that chaeyeon had been picked as iaem's newest addition.

"spain! how exciting! i heard you girls will be there for like a whole month, right?" just a few months ago, dayeon couldn't imagine sitting here and having a calm conversation with the other beside her. however, looking back at it, the problem was always herself and her inferiority complex. now that she got to know chaeyeon, she thinks they could have become friends a lot earlier.

letting out a hum, she leaned her head onto chaeyeon's for a short moment. "see? i told you. you were always going to debut anyway." she recalls how their last conversation and how she kept trying to assure chaeyeon that she was a shoe-in for hydra's next girl group. even she didn't see the iaem addition coming, but she was genuinely happy for her friend. "bring me something back, will you?"

[dayeonhd]

º ✧ 。––– ( 𝒇𝒍𝒚 𝒉𝒊𝒈𝒉 ) september 2023 / on the flight to los angeles, dayeon is filled with lots of thoughts / 371 words.

the timing was perfect.

frankly, dayeon was starting to feel like she'd hit a brick wall. she was beginning to find herself in a slump with how repetitive her days were becoming and watching some of her closer friends get their debut had her feeling lonelier than ever. however, just as those feelings were on the verge of growing, the company seems to have thrown her a curve ball. despite her excitement for this task, she has to admit she was surprised upon hearing of it. the fact that hydra was expecting their trainees to act as instructors was fascinating, and dayeon couldn't help but feel nervous.

would she be able to pull it off? she did well enough as the leader during the last evaluation, but that was with a group of people she considered her peers. everything felt different now that she would be given the label of instructor.

throughout her whole flight to los angeles, all dayeon could think about was the sense of responsibility she suddenly felt for the trainees she has yet to meet. although this was different from any of the tasks they've been given so far, she can't help but feel that it's going to be heavily weighted on them. this goes beyond skills, which are the basics for idol trainees. no, this was going to be a reflection of what kind of people they are.

it was kind of scary to think about it. she spent the whole twelve hour flight watching the song her trainees would be given, memorizing every line, every move, every beat. while she wasn't the type to hammer in perfection as she valued hard work, she was aware that results would be important.

whatever performance the girls put on would be equivalent to herself. her worth as an instructor and further on, her worth as a trainee back when she returned to hydra after this whole special event.

this was a challenge, but it was one she was up for. this was the kind of excitement that dayeon felt was missing from her life these days, and she couldn't wait to meet up with the trainees. she was ready to pour her heart and hard work into them.

[dayeonhd]

𝒙𝒐𝒙𝒐, @hdseojun (backdated)

dayeon hated crying. not because she believed in the old saying that crying made you appear weak but because she couldn't always control her thoughts and feelings when she was crying. it's like her head gets clouded with all these what if situations, and she can't seem to think straight. that's why she disliked crying.

however, it's almost as if her pent up emotions were exploding tonight because she couldn't seem to stop the tears from falling. it was getting close to two years since she had started training at hydra, but it's like she fell into a slump. she couldn't see herself improving, and she was slowly getting fatigue from the repetitive schedule. of course, she knew all this before she started, and she was certain she could deal with it, but she was a human being, after all. it was getting exhausting.

when she hears the click of the door opening, she quickly wipes the tears from her face and raises her head. "oh, i'm sorry. do you need the room?" she asks before sniffling to herself for a few more moments. the lights were out in the practice room, and it was so late that she didn't think anybody would show up. well this was embarrassing.

[hdchaeyeon-deactivated20240602]

"I think so... I don't want to lose myself in the end, either, or become this hyper-stylized version of myself." She's seen it outside of the idol sphere, with older cousins she's met as ordinary girls, later gracing social columns as women, perfectly beautiful and unreal. Chaeyeon perhaps has a lot of angst she's working through since that's the future her mom wants for her and a future she is convinced will come true.

She sighs, "That's if I debut." Then her pupils dilate and a broad smile stretches across her features as soon as she catches a glimpse of Dayeon's striking outfit. "You look hot. And absolutely, we're a packaged deal... Aw, I've never had a friend I could match with...!" Although she tried to put on a playful front by pouting her lips and making 'kissy' faces towards Dayeon; in reality, she was hiding her depth behind a facade.

She regresses back to her vanity from where they initially started, and Chaeyeon couldn't help but let out a playful giggle. She eagerly finishes the final look by meticulously hand-styling and fluffing her hair, ensuring that she looks her absolute best before their ride arrives. "You never answered, how about you? What kind of concept fits you?"

[dayeonhd]

while dayeon hasn't been training as long as some of the other people at hydra, she's come to learn that this industry wasn't as sparkly as it looked. of course, perhaps it was that she was too naive when she first stepped in as a trainee, but it became obvious soon enough that you had to put on a face to be successful. that didn't mean you had to fake who you were, but it always looked like a better idea to hide a bit of who you really were. maybe that's why so many celebrities appear on television and talk about having identity crises.

she can't help but laugh at the other's excitement. "well, i had to pull out my best outfit since you came out wearing something so great," she explained with a wide grin. when chaeyeon throws the question in her direction once more, dayeon purses her lips as she goes into deep thought. while she's thought about group concepts before, she's grown to think that she'd simply be happy to debut in whatever group and grow into the concept.

"something magical would be nice, don't you think so? lighthearted and fun with a bit of a fairy twist!" it's what she originally liked about idols as well, and she thinks it's probably an easier way out, but she'd still love to perform in a group with such a concept. "i just think that'd suit me the best rather than something super girl crush."

[beautifulmon]

yuna ✶ sneakers (220724)

[dayeonhd]

𝒙𝒐𝒙𝒐, @sebbyhd

it almost seemed like everybody else around the company building was busy beside dayeon. that wasn't completely inaccurate considering that iaem was preparing for a comeback and most of the boy trainees were participating in hyde academy. it was weird just how empty the place felt despite so many people being busy an occupied with their own things.

this was all a long way of saying that dayeon felt sort of lonely. a few trainees have come and gone, and it was getting harder and harder to keep a friendship around here. she's deep in her thoughts when she spots a familiar face that she hasn't seen in a while. mostly because sebastian was also participating on hyde academy. she was proud to see him going places, but she can't deny that she missed his company.

"oh my god!" she exclaimed before practically hopping her way toward him. "what are you doing here? wait, no, that's a stupid question. we both train here. but i mean like, no filming today? no special mission?" dayeon hadn't kept completely up to date with the program, but she knew for a fact that he wasn't eliminated yet, so ti was odd to see him just lingering around.

[hdchaeyeon-deactivated20240602]

And just like that, Chaeyeon's perception of Dayeon changes. They didn't have much in common before this evening's outing, so, realistically Dayeon didn't owe Chaeyeon anything. Chaeyeon's almost tempted to ask the cliche, 'Why are you being nice to me?' because she can't understand the sudden easy flow.

Despite feeling a bit embarrassed and her cheeks warm, she opts not to draw attention to her face and stands up from the bed hurriedly, lips twitcing upwards. Chaeyeon then ran her hand through her hair, as a habit she exhibited when nervous. "Okay, you're totally right. I'm going to train so much harder than last time. And I need to shake this off, that's why we need to get to this party!" The Libra in her takes Dayeon's confirmations as a means to change the topic. Not keen on expressing herself further, anyway.

"Wait, I'm going to pick an outfit, 'kay?" On tiptoes, she made way towards her walk-in closet and raised her voice to answer Dayeon. "Now, you know... I'm hoping for neither. I want a fresh, out-of-the-box concept, that's... Personable to us? I don't want to simply pose on stage. I want to perform, and dance lots." She giggles. As she peruses the closet, she contemplates a few options, but finally settles on an outfit that perfectly embodied Chaeyeon's style. "How about you?" She asks, while slipping on her clothes for the night.

[dayeonhd]

looking back at her past actions and attitude, dayeon knows deep down that it all stemmed from her own jealousy and inferiority complex toward the other. while she didn't want to admit it, she had judged chaeyeon and assumed that everything came so easy for her. she thinks it was easy to think that because of how naturally gifted the other seemed to be in this industry, but now that dayeon's spent some time training herself, she knows that it's simply not true.

with that layer of insecurity ripped off, she thinks that they could have gotten along so much better all along. chaeyeon's surprisingly easy to talk to, and she was pretty shocked to find how worried the other was because of her scrapped debut. she's a bit shocked that the conversation shifted toward comfort to a sudden party, but she's on board. dayeon could never say no to a nice night out.

taking a look at chaeyeon's outfit, she ponders for something herself. "well, if you want to dance, i guess sometimes simple is best?" she grabs something from her own closet, quickly putting it on to math chaeyeon. "there! i don't think we'll lose each other, at least. people will think we're like a bag of oreos that came together."

[hdchaeyeon-deactivated20240602]

After seeing Dayeon's casual shrug, Chaeyeon decides to avoid the subject. She takes a liking to understanding and sympathizing with this side of Dayeon's character. Or, maybe, it's 'cause the girls are finally not at odds and seeing eye to eye for a change.

"Oh," Chaeyeon responds, taken aback. Until that point, she was sadly fixated on the idea that the company's decision to put her project on hold and transfer her to a different label reflected their uncertainty about her. In retrospect, the decision seemed more like a matter of word choice and phrasing than a lack of faith in her abilities, only she couldn't force herself to believe it. Dayeon's words shed new light on the situation, which isn't something she's expecting.

"I... honestly hadn't thought of the possibility. I've been feeling like I took a major step backward. We're in this game, training and training, and..." She express this deep-seated weariness stemming from investing her whole energy, mind, body, soul, and time into something with no tangible progress to show for it. The clear-cut finish line and ultimate objective in sports are noticeably absent these years training under Hydra, something she never thought she'd miss. She looks down, smiling. "I hope you're right. Who knows, maybe this is a chance for us to get our chance together. Since I've been moved to Kiss." Her head tilts up, waiting for Dayeon's reaction.

[dayeonhd]

once again, dayeon tilts her head to the side as she observes chaeyeon's reaction. while the scrapped project was a real bummer, she thinks that if the company hadn't wanted the other female to eventually debut, they would have completely dropped her. of course, that would have been an idiotic decision on hydra's part considering that chaeyeon had everything, but she's shocked to see that this seems like big news to her.

"look, i'm not a trainer or whatever, but come on. you and i have both seen trainees come and go. these companies aren't afraid to let them go if they don't have plans for them." she's not trying to blow false hope into the other, but it becomes apparent that the other had been so fixated on the thought of her debut being scrapped that she hadn't opened her eyes to other possibilities.

upon seeing that her comment left an impact on chaeyeon, dayeon offered her a gentle smile. "that'd be fun!" as much as she was envious of the other's natural talent and star potential, there's no question that the group would be successful if chaeyeon was a part of it. "what kind of concept do you think we could debut with? something dreamy? girl crush?"

[dayeonhd]

sebbyhd·:

“i’m glad…” sebastian trailed off, feeling his cheeks flush, a tad bit embarrassed from the words he let out, but not stepping down or taking them back, after all, he meant every word he had said, he was just not used to speaking so honestly. “just..” he hesitated, staring intently at the mug he had placed in front of him, and if he stared any harder, he worried he would have set it on fire with how much he was glaring at it, stewing over his words, “sometimes the sun can get tired of shining. so– i guess what i’m trying to say is to not to be too hard on yourself if there are days where you feel like you can’t be as bright as you wish to be.”

there, he had said it, it wasn’t too hard, was it? he let his eyes dart to the side, peering at dayeon, offering her a small smile before grabbing a smaller paintbrush to dip in the paint, deciding to try and make some flowers and some butterflies. after all, both would look cute- but she was right, maybe starting with the flowers would be easier, after all. that was exactly what he did, lining the bottom of the mug with green lines, they would be the stems on with the flowers would rest on.

“i don’t think i would manage to make a mug either. i think it would end up just being a sort of pancake mug, or like- a smooshed plate.” he snorted, pausing from when he was just about to start drawing the bulbs of the flowers- he had decided to go with roses, they would contrast nicely against the baby blue sky he had previously made, and look pretty on the mugs if he drew them nicely enough- “besides, i think it would just be fun to experience that with friends. it would be kind of funny if we both ended up making frankenstein sort of creations rather than the mugs we were hoping to make. and- i heard that playing with clay was sort of therapeutic. it could be fun!”

ever since dayeon was young, she hadn't been afraid of being true to her emotions, and while she continued to keep that belief, she had seen firsthand how some of her fellow trainees seemed to mistake emotions as weaknesses. frankly, dayeon understands where they're coming from. really, she does from a fundamental point of view. it's the idea that emotions end up making someone vulnerable which is pretty fatal for a trainee. there are some people out there praying for everybody else's downfall.

that's why it's that much more refreshing to be out with sebastian because he really seems to get where she's coming from. he doesn't say anything nasty when she's completely honest with him, and she genuinely appreciates that. "i'll definitely keep that in mind," she tells him before giving him a playful wink and taking a look back down at her mug.

"yes, i heard that too! it's like how babies play with sand and stuff to help their sense of touch. we should go do that next time! return to our childhoods and whatnot." it felt a bit weird to say that considering they were both pretty young right now, but it also seemed like time was ticking by as trainees. "before we really start getting busy!" this is dayeon's way of saying that she's certain that the company will have plans for both of us, and by plans she means a debut.

[hdchaeyeon-deactivated20240602]

"Boo, cross out Dayeon." Chaeyeon motioned an 'X' in the air towards the other brunette. "Don't think like that. Why would you want to be placed there, anyway?" If given the chance to join IAEM, of course, Chaeyeon would seize the opportunity, she wasn't dense. However, joining an already-established group felt strange to Chaeyeon, akin to starting at a new school mid-year. "You're everyone's talking about, regardless."

As she stole a quick glance towards Daeyeon, she felt a strong urge to encourage confidence, to tell her not to worry. However, she decided to take a more subtle approach and hinted at her past evaluation slyly. It was true, this quarter set her apart from the rest of the girls in a way that made Chaeyeon pay attention to Dayeon like a sister would.

She scoffed, bemused. Not at Dayeon, at the whole situation. There was actual concern in her tone, causing Chaeyeon to pause. She retreated a pace and slumped onto the king bed, emitting a deep, weary exhale. As usual, she rolled her eyes at the thought of sharing what was happening and how she felt... "A lot happened. Hm, the project got halted, and I got transferred." Despite her efforts to conceal her emotions, she couldn't hide her disappointment from having to start over. So, there she sat before Dayeon, visibly sulking and pouting. "I know, pretty embarrassing, right?"

[dayeonhd]

although dayeon is not in a position to be picking and choosing, there is a part of her that wonders if she'd even do well in iaem. it just didn't seem like the group for her, no matter how much chaeyeon tried to lift her mood up. nevertheless, she gives the other a soft smile before moving the conversation along with a shrug. that was enough talk about her insecurities and how she stays up at night sometimes wondering when her time will come.

her brows furrow together as she listens to chaeyeon's story. she'd been so focused on her own training that she didn't realize what was happening. in moments like this, dayeon wondered what the right words could be, but she doesn't think anybody could really have the other feeling better. while she hasn't been in her shoes, she can only imagine how much of a bummer the whole situation must be.

"well, i've seen a lot of trainees in here get transferred around. it's probably good news to come. instead of keeping you where the scrapped project is, they moved you around because they still want you to debut," she states. it's a big assumption on her part, considering dayeon doesn't know any sort of details, but she firmly believes that if anybody can debut, it'd be chaeyeon. "don't worry about it too much. you're still definitely a shoe-in for whatever project is next."

[dayeonhd]

focus on 𝒎𝒆 now [ ♡ ]