serve me the sky with a big slice of lemon @dayoldicedcoffee - Tumblr Blog

"I CANT HANDLE THIS" *handles this*

"I CANT TAKE ANOTHER DAY" *takes another day*

sorry I can’t come to work tomorrow I stayed up too late reading books about autism and wrecking myself emotionally again

Hot take life would actually be easier if I had simply never learned anything about my brain in the past three years

a few years ago I started posting less on socials with some attitude of “oh I don’t need to tell the world things happened to prove they did or share my opinion on everything” or whatever and at some point that evolved into failing to even open apps to lurk for weeks at a time as I worked on stuff in my brain and like, started grieving the decades I spent in the anguish of undiagnosed autism, and then I continued using the momentum from the height of Covid to withdraw a little more physically when more and more my efforts to stay in touch with people or catch up were increasingly postponed/cut short/ignored and not for lack of effort to the contrary I’ve ended up in what for all intents and purposes is a little relationship bubble even though I’ve been so careful not to let it consume me and even though I love him dearly and he’s almost sickeningly supportive and patient I wish I hadn’t lost a lot of the other things I used to have going on

And man the impact of mildly dropping off the face of the earth makes it so much more difficult to make forays into Not Doing That now that most of the people around me are actually making life moves that mean they don’t have the time for/interest in the kind of hanging out that’s physically comfortable for me and that I have a name for why I couldn’t do the social dance my whole life. Events are so fucking hard and being alive is so lonely sometimes

I haven’t even opened this site to scroll in two months and it’s been so long since I made active use of it that I entirely forgot that voidposting was an actual thing I’m allowed to do

mango-season

i’m trying2be kinder to myself but this bitch is so fucking stupid

violetsandshrikes

me crawling through the last two months of 2020 like

marissacoopersarchive-deactivat

Rebecca Bunch ♡ “I have an IQ of 164. On the entire SAT, I got two questions wrong, and in subsequent years those questions were stricken for being misleading. But I know nothing about life! Yeah, no. Truly, nothing. Like, I make AWFUL decisions! Like really, you know, really, really awful decisions.”