Do you think your life would be different if you werenāt conventionally hot? I wonder if people who are extremely attractive like you understand their own attractiveness and how itās affected your lives lol if that makes sense
this is definitely a taboo topic that no one really talks about but iāve definitely thought about it. i honestly think about everything. it helps me understand why i am the way i am. & when you understand yourself & get to the root of who u are, your better able to change the things you donāt like. i think for me personally, my ļæ¼achillesā heel was my self esteem. i think being labeled as the cute girl since i was young made me think that thatās all i was & gave me a weird complex of feeling the need to live up to this girl everyone says i am. thatās the thing. you can be given something widely redeemed as good but it can become a negative just based on the fact of you having poor self esteem to being with.
i noticed that of all the things i struggled with something i never struggled with was having a big ego. especially as i got older & in comparison to people around me. thatās something that took me a long time to build up. & honestly now iām finally to a point where i donāt hate myself haha & see me for what i am & not something so repulsive. i always wondered why i struggled so much with accepting myself considering most people would think as a ācuteā girl that thatād be delusional. & i essentially realized it does not matter what the fuck u look like in order for you to accept who u are. a lot of models or attractive people literally look in the mirror & feel disgusted. & on the other side lot of normal looking, below average people look in the mirror & just donāt care. theyāve accepted it & theyāre happy. itās such a weird discussion even referring to yourself as cute. but this is me just being objective to the best of my abilities & answering this it to shed any light that the chase for perfection or gaining self acceptance from how u look on the outside isnāt real. please believe that. it never ends & youāll never actually get what youāre looking for. it comes from YOU.
im not niave to the fact that objectively my life has definitely been altered due to the fact that im ācuteā. i ended up getting scouted to model cuz of it, more than half you guys probably wouldnāt even follow me if i wasnāt & i know that thereās almost an underlying privledge that comes to cute girls especially. like a free drink or strangers being nicer to you. but i just never felt connected to what i looked like. itās all luck. luck about everything thatās me. that i was born in Canada with parents who wernt living on the streets. & even having my mind was all luck. i could have been anyone. so being cute or whatever never felt earned or really deserving. i was aware of it but it never made me feel differently. it was just like this thing thatās now almost apart of your identity that youāre gonna have to figure out how to navigate.
essentially yes, im aware of all the ways my life has changed due to the fact that i am a ācuteā girl. but being pretty or whatever u want to call it doesnāt guarantee you to feel better about yourself. & same goes with not being cute. it doesnāt necessarily make you reject who you are. no privilege based on looks ever made me feel better or more confident because none of it mattered when u just dont the way everyone expects you to feel. thatās why i say it doesnāt change your life as much as youād think or hope.
sounds honestly lame but if youāre anything like me something that helped me was looking in the mirror & just legit saying to myself thatās YOU. get over it. thatās YOU. you arenāt anyone else. all the asymmetries in my face & imperfections across the board for the first time said to myself, well thatās YOU. & it really helped me. more than i thought. i got to the point where i was desperate to stop torturing myself everyday & i actually read books on how to gain self esteem haha. so actually humor me & try it & mean it. but it was the first time i actually even thought about just accepting myself. i realized after that i hadnt even considered that as an option. & it was such a blind spot of mine that was revealed. since then have been way more comfortable in my own skin. the best thing i ever did was stop the bullshit to be someone else & do what i should have done years ago & just accept myself. being ācuteā or being human period means nothing if you donāt truly accept/make peace with the person that u really are
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