Dazzle dawne

What am I supposed to put here? I post art and depressing philosophical statements or questions and talk about books I read or want to read... I love cats and my favorite colour is purple.

[dazzledawn]

My Little Pony redesign of Trixie <333

[nuttybarzz]

Let me know all of you

[dazzledawn]

It's so strange to think about how no one will ever get to know your entire self.

We will forever be nothing more than fragments in the heads and perhaps hearts of others, no matter how long we've known them for.

[freakinfur]

☠︎︎ Jeannie Nitro ad☠︎︎

[dazzledawn]

my kind of fashion☆𝄞𓏲ּ𝄢♡⃛

[moonvera]

[dazzledawn]

My inner child is crying rn.

[skinnyangels-stuff]

[dazzledawn]

What is wrong with me...?

I can't speak about myself anymore. Can't say how I feel or what I need because the moment I do, I have the urge to throw up.

Everytime I attempt to share ANYTHING about myself I have to hold myself back from crying or running away.

[dazzledawn]

Got a sketchbook I dedicated to colour experiments since I usually only draw with pencils. These are the first few pages😆🎀

[dazzledawn]

TW: Mental breakdown, suicidal ideals, loss of reality

🎀🎀🎀

I think I'm going insane.

I know a lot of people joke about it but I genuinely believe I'm spiraling into madness. I hear things, see and remember things that never happened or don't exist. Words stopped making sense to me and I started feeling like I can't trust anything anymore. I don't know what's real, hell I don't know if I'm real.

I feel like I fell into a dark pit ages ago which was concieled by a sort of magic or illusionist spell and now cracks are starting to form in my surroundings and mind alike.

I'm going insane. I have to be. Something is wrong with me. I'm hysteric. I cry and yell and lash out at people and then I go numb and cold and empty. Like rage, anguish and despair is all I can feel at all.

I want to die. I want to pull my skin from my bones and tear out my organs, arteries. I want to blow my brains out and become a mere ceiling decoration simply to feel myself dying. To assure myself that I am real. To feel anything but this numbness, to rid myself of this icy shadow figure embracing me forever and ever in darkness and anger.

[bitterswtdvll]

[dazzledawn]

Purple is the colour to my heart<3

[allthingswhumpyandangsty]

reblog if you’re a sick fuck

[dazzledawn]

Who doesn't?

[dazzledawn]

Soo... I finished that anime and it made me cry so hard istg it wasn't normal anymore. Reki is my favorite character, btw.

I recommend this show to anyone struggling with mental health, especially self-distructive behaviour, sh and suicidal thoughts. The last episode was... hard to watch. I knew it was going to be triggering and personal and so horribly sad but I wasn't prepared for that.

Still, like I said; I recommend this series very much, as long as you're open to bawl your eyes out and get completely traumatised. :D

Name: Haibane Renmei. It's on YouTube.

[dazzledawn]

These songs>>>>> Istg they're so freaking amazing and the artists are crazy good!!!!!

I love Siouxsie & The Banshees <3

[dazzledawn]

I love drawing so much.

[dazzledawn]

The silence is not an absence of sound but music for sensible souls.

— from the poem Ondas by Andrew Oliveira

I started watching an anime. The first two episodes were crushing in all the right ways. It makes me want to sit in silence and just... exist, I suppose.

This quote deeply resonated with me because of that.

"Haibane Renmei", the title of the anime

The soundtrack is absolutely beautiful, melancholic and thought-provoking, just like the piece of media itself.

I love media with the intention and purpose of making people think, instead of simply creating a sort of entertainment for us. I wonder how the world would look without thoughts.

I hope it will never come to that point, because I'd much rather die. I'd go insane and then die.

But it's quite an interesting question, in my opinion anyway. A very dreadful, horrible one, but interesting nonetheless. Would it be possible to live, without thoughts and if so, how?

We wouldn't be human anymore, that much I'm certain of. We'd be... creatures without mind, will, ambitions and happiness. We couldn't possibly function. Right?

[dazzledawn]

The letter 'A'

I don't think I ever liked that letter. It doesn't make sense, really, seeing how all my favorite characters' initials started with A.

Or how that's the grade I so desperately wanted to get, and got. That I was so happy to get straight A's, so goddamn proud of myself.

In the beginning, anyway. Later it became normal, barely acknowledgable actually. I got upset if I had so much as a B. Well rather so little.

I would cry and tell myself I was a dissapointment, a failure.

My parents told me grades didn't matter, but if that was true why did they tell me to try better, to stop slacking and focus whenether I recieved a B, or dare I say, a C?

I hate the letter 'A'.

Hate is a strong word, considering it's nothing more than a concept.

Maybe I'm just overreacting? Yes, I must be, because I still celebrate everytime I see an A scribbled in the very corner of my paper.

Only now I don't see it as much.

And I tell myself, "next time, next time you'll be good again", however next time doesn't arrive and I cry because of those ten mistakes that shouldn't have existed. Those ten mistakes that prove my suspicions; that prove I'm a failure.

I hate the letter A, so why do I want it? Why does this stupid letter get to decide my happiness?

Why do I love something like that? I hate it. I hate that I love the letter 'A'

[dazzledawn]

A quick sketch inspired by one of my favorite movies and books!! It took me approximatly 10-20 minutes

[dazzledawn]

A few sketches I made during the Holidays, to practice.