GAME NIGHT (2018) SENTENCE STARTERS
feel free to modify pronouns etc. as necessary! trigger warnings for alcohol and some blood/violence mentions.
“Who cares about winning? Let’s get drunk.”
“I need four shots of vodka and four shots of water.”
“Okay, this is getting embarrassing, so we need to focus.”
“Do not test me right now.”
“Sorry, honey, I know how much that meant to you.”
“I’m not loving your semen.”
“You don’t have to write it down.”
“You did say even when you were a kid you would freak out if you lost at anything.”
“You’re not a therapist, right?”
“So what is it about your brother that makes you feel emasculated?”
“We’re right next to the room where I masturbated.”
“I don’t know if I mentioned it, but [name] and I are on a trial separation.”
“It doesn’t hurt to ask.”
“I’m just checking the mail. Some people check it earlier in the day, but there’s always a risk that the mail carrier hasn’t come yet. That spares me the chance of a futile trip to the mailbox.”
“I’ve always enjoyed the camaraderie of good friends competing in games of chance and skill.”
“Three bags of Tostitos Scoops, I notice. Three for one? How can that be profitable for Frito-Lay?”
“You two enjoy each other.”
“It’s often we don’t appreciate what we have until it’s gone.”
“You don’t think we’re being dicks, do you?”
“We don’t owe him anything, right? Fuck him!”
“Why are you coming in through the window?”
“I’m not dressed for this nonsense.”
“It’s like Night of the Living Dead in here.”
“Is it on the right or the left? I don’t wanna go in the wrong room.”
“How many photos of you with the dog filter do you need?”
“Do you know what rich people are doing on their game nights these days? Fight clubs. I just read about them. They pay poor people to fight each other and then they bet on the winner.”
“If you can have anything you want in this world, you have to raise the stakes or life gets boring.”
“You gotta stop reading BuzzFeed every second of the damn day.”
“He was the first to invest in Panera Bread. The Fuji Apple Salad was his idea.”
“Hey, you smell good. What is that? Is that Selsun Blue? Head and Shoulders?”
“I love your house. It makes me think of simpler times.”
“There’s a whole room of people to help you out here.”
“It’s a very cool house but it’s just me there alone.”
“That little motherfucker.”
“Why are you suddenly so worked up about this?”
“I was going to invite you over for a dinner I’m hosting. I’ve purchased four lamb shanks that I’ve been simmering in a broth of red wine and rosemary.”
“I was being theatrical.”
“You’re not gonna know what’s real and what’s fake.”
“That’s a really aggressive way to carry a knife.”
“Never have I ever connected my work computer to the projector in the conference room when it was open on a WebMD page for chlamydia symptoms.”
“Just for the record, I did not have chlamydia. It was pubic dermatitis. You get it from not washing your crotch.”
“I know you’re method and all, but you can’t just come in here and break the door.”
“Make sure you get a piece of this cheese.”
“There’s something about this that just doesn’t feel right.”
“He’s a regular Daniel Day-Lewis.”
“Don’t turn this around on me. Do not do that. Don’t you Johnnie Cochran me!”
“Do you get the feeling that this is some game where somehow he’s gonna humiliate me?”
“You know, I can feel my sperm already coming back to life.”
“Hand me those matches, I’m about to burn this door down.”
“Let’s give him a test, okay? Let’s order a couple of drinks that only a real bartender would know how to make.”
“We’re never gonna be able to do stuff like this if we have kids.”
“Jesus Christ, honey, where did you get a gun?”
“Any of you fucking pricks move and I’ll execute every motherfucking last one of you!”
“Oh, you know what’s bullshit is your bald, ugly face.”
“Alright, I’m sorry I called you bald, you little bitch!”
“Let the gun do the talking.”
“This dumbass thought he can keep us locked in here. But guess what? You can’t lock us in here!”
“I’m so glad I invited you tonight. I usually bring these girls I wanna sleep with and they just suck. You’re like a breath of fresh air.”
“I usually go out with men I find interesting and non-stupid, so this is a bit new for me.”
“Whoa, are we cool? Did I say something wrong?”
“I just came from a six-hour murder mystery where I played the corpse.”
“I quit Disney Cruises for this bullshit.”
“I’m not okay! I have a throbbing headache!”
“I’ve lied to you and the family about what I do.”
“He’s got his fingers in all these pies. Illegal pies. You know, the kind of pies that have heroin in them, and guns, and sex slaves. You know, all that kind of stuff.”
“If you call the cops, I’ll be dead before I get to jail.”
“I’m sorry I dragged you into this. I’m sorry for a lot of things.”
“So we go to a mob doctor, right? What about a veterinarian that works for the mob?”
“You’re gonna have to take the bullet out.”
“You think I want you to take the bullet out? I’ve seen you try to cut a chicken.”
“I shot [name] but he’s fine.”
“I got a bunch of stuff. Pocket knife, tweezers, sewing kit, gauze. They didn’t have rubbing alcohol and they don’t sell hard liquor, so I got you this loverly Chard.”
“This is instructions on how to remove a bullet. It’s an alt-right militia website, so I’m just gonna ignore the racist stuff.”
“I can’t believe he’s been lying this whole time. He’s even cooler than I thought.”
“I will admit I have eagerly awaited a visit such as this.”
“Help yourself to popped corn with sea salt.”
“If I go home now and then I read in the newspaper tomorrow that you died I’ll feel like shit that I left, so I’m gonna stick around.”
“Rich people are fucked up.”
“It was just this crazy thing that happened and in a weird way it made me realise that the only person I ever wanna be with is you.”
“You’ve always been a better person than me.”
“I even managed to fuck that up.”
“Can’t say I care for that nomenclature.”
“One of us has to be the asshole in this transaction.”
“You don’t have to do this. I can just poop it out.”
“Hold still while I cut your stomach open.”
“You’re not Liam Neeson.”
“I can’t get the drop on anyone tonight.”
“Think about all the dum-dums that have kids, right? And think about how much better our kid is gonna be than their kids. It’s gonna beat their kids at everything.”
“Our baby is gonna crush every other baby. And not in that peak-too-early, kid-actor kind of way.”
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