Hello!! I would like to request a terrible angst idea, what if you make a fic about Connor not choosing to be a deviant, but stay a machine. And like the reader, who is also a Android is a deviant, tells him he doesn’t have to do this. But Connor hesitates for a moment, before looking at them with tears and says “I always accomplish my missions.” And maybe shoots them, because he IS a deviant hunter Please and thanks!! <3
Listen man I love the thought of confused Connor with feelings but his machine state is legit terrifying and cold. Like the way he addresses Cole to Hank during his machine playthrough makes me s c a r e d.
So what better way to write this fanfiction but live up to stone cold connor?
Fear was a strange emotion, one that was surprisingly becoming your least favorite emotion to gain as of right now. The steps that most humans shouldn’t hear were loud to you, after all you were an android. One designed specifically for stealth and any other sort of aspect related. It was helpful during your time as a machine but….it scared you how much you wished not to be associated with such a thing. The foot steps only increased in volume the closer the figure got to your hiding spot.
Your grip tightened on the pistol in hand, the safety locked off way before this situation began. You shifted but stilled soon after, he could easily hear that in this quiet area.
From beside you the android who called himself Simon held onto his own pistol, one you provided the minute you two got stuck in this situation. He seemed stuck in thought, most likely scared in his own quiet ways. You weren’t too good at hiding your fear with how much you shifted only to sit still once more.
The steps got closer and you knew you couldn’t let that fear swallow you whole, no matter what. Protecting this android became it’s own duty as soon as you broke protocol.
Amanda really wasn’t happy with you.
“He’s getting closer.” You heard Simon say through the wireless connection, you nodded quietly beside him.
“Yeah I know.” You stated hearing the door fling open, Simon noticeably frowned at the ground. “Listen I’ve got a plan.”
“Alright, i’m listening.”
Simon was very different from him, he easily fell along with your plans seeing as your previous ones got him this far. In a way you missed not having these thoughts and emotions, gaining them was accidental.
If you hadn’t gotten them you wouldn’t be here in the first place.
Shaking away the horrible thoughts you instead focused on your plan, “Connor’s….my partner and I think I can try to convince him to go deviant. We’ve been together this far and maybe if I show him…the way he’ll cease hunting you and me.”
“That’s very risky.” Simon quickly interjected, “You have been side by side and witnessed how many of our kind he’s killed.”
You didn’t want to admit that he did kill them without remorse. The first times he did it you weren’t so shocker, the programming stating that this was the way but as time passed….
….When you witnessed that Traci off herself because of her lover dying, you broke protocol immediately. And Hank was the one to catch on after Connor left the scene, the man seemed to know when he witnessed the tears come down.
Hank tried with all his might to keep Connor’s own suspicions off you, but you broke the final straw when you hid Simon. Tugging him along and out the tower without others seeing you. It was easy to deceive the humans but than Connor. He had come along.
Hence your situation now. A horrible horrible game of hide and seek where if you’re caught you’ll get killed most likely.
“I have to try.” You weren’t sure why you bite your lip, perhaps you mimicked Hank a bit more. “You need to get out, your leg won’t be good to run on so I distrac-”
“I know we don’t know each other well.” Once more he interrupted your sentence, you looked over at him. “But we need to have each others back.”
“I think it’s best you run off back to Jericho.” The man looked up at you with confusion as if unsure why you were so evident to get him out.
“Why are you helping me?”
You looked away, hearing Connor open a closet door. “I don’t know..I broke programming for awhile and I don’t understand.” You furrowed your eyebrows before looking back to him, your own LED blaring red from the amount of emotions you felt. “Emotions to well, it’s confusing but please just do this favor for me.”
Simon could only nod hesitantly.
The two of you listened to the foot steps that seemed to teasingly get closer, as if knowing you were there the whole time. You tightened your hold and gave a firm nod to Simon despite the fear.
The blonde seemed to debate something before stretching his arm out to you, grabbing a hold of your own. The path to Jericho enveloped you quickly as Simon began to inch away from the spot.
“Good luck.” you sent the message as you popped up, surprising Connor momentarily, you grabbed his own pistol moving it out of your way as he pulled the trigger. He fought back almost immediately, the two of you fighting over a pistol.
He, however, had the clear advantage. He had both hands free and was able to tear your own hand off the pistol aiming it towards you as you dodged it narrowly. Hesitating to pull the trigger you launched yourself onto him, knocking the two of you on the ground roughly.
Your own gun slipped away as you finally resorted to using both hands against Connor. You shoved the gun aside as well, Connor trying desperately to reach it. You took a quick glance to the door, seeing it wide open and cheering at helping a Jericho member escape.
That proved to be a mistake, Connor ceased struggling for the gun and punched you across the face, skin turning back to the white mold before reforming.
“Connor listen to me.” You wrestled harshly with the android who didn’t seem to want to listen at all, you fell back as Connor slammed his head to your own with immense strength. He lunged for the gun again to which you stood up and kicked them away, to which he tripped you.
“God dammit Connor.” You weren’t feeling the fear anymore, more so annoyance at his lack of cooperation. “Listen to me.”
“You’re a deviant.” Connor stood up tall, narrowing his eyes at your form that laid in front of the guns he oh so needed. “You are aware that you are not feeling actually emotions rather errors in your cod-”
“Shut it.” You retorted, his words leaving a bitter feeling to delve in you. “This emotions…they feel as real as you and me.”
This shut him up.
“You ever just felt….guilty for killing so many of our own kind.” Your fingers inched towards the gun, wary from his rather unemotional stare. The slimmer of hope for his deviation wasn’t getting any bigger but you knew you could get through to him somehow. “Haven’t you ever felt something like fear when you fought with so many others. The thought of death scaring you enough to freeze up.”
“I have no fear of dying because I can’t die.” Connor bluntly stated eyeing the guns behind you. “W are nothing but machines, your feelings are not real. You are no human and you never will be.”
That hit a nerve. You weren’t sure how to respond to that, the feelings you felt were real you were sure of it. But his words the way he spoke brought on a wave of doubt. The feelings weren’t nice and a voice nagged you to submit back to protocol but.
But…but.
You couldn’t everything felt so real to you, the amounts of emotions that you gained wasn’t pleasant at times but it felt so much better than any programming you had. You liked those feelings no matter how jarring they could be.
You liked feeling admiration for Connor, liked feeling cared for by Hank. You liked caring for the two back and you didn’t want to lose those sort of feelings.
They were real to you.
“Fuck you.” You spat, the odd feelings of admiration and what Hank described as a crush for Connor were hard to ignore even as he coldly addressed you as nothing to him. Even as he said it you felt sick to even still hold that admiration for him, the feelings that made you feel the need to shy away.
Those emotions were real and nothing he said could stop that feeling.
Connor advanced once more, attempting to grab the guns till you grabbed his leg tripping his run. He tried with all his might to grab the guns. You climbed on to his back, gripping his head and smashing it into the ground.
You felt guilty for apologizing in your own mind.
He worked harder, grabbing onto your hands and somehow flipping you over and smashing onto the ground. He took this to advantage, grabbing both pistols and aiming only one to your head. You flinched as you heard the safety lock click off.
“You see if you hadn’t deviated you wouldn’t be in this mess.” You knew you couldn’t sweat but you were sure if you could you would be doing so furiously. “Petty emotions and pining aren’t something in your program. Your pining towards me was stupid. I’m no deviant.”
A low blow to make fun of your tiny crush on him, a real quick to the face if you were honest.
But you couldn’t say anything sassy in return, nothing to defend yourself. The unbridled fear consumed you as you stared at the barrel of the gun.
Maybe if you didn’t hold onto the false sense of hope that Connor could deviant, you wouldn’t be in this situation. Maybe if you didn’t let the emotions control your impulses you wouldn’t be a deviant.
Tears weren’t something you expected to appear on your cheeks again, the longer Connor delayed the inevitable the more you craved to live. Maybe you were crazy to see the hesitation on his eyes or maybe you were just clinging to that false sense of hope again.
Either way you couldn’t help but wish for a different outcome.
“(Y.N).” Connor spoke calmly as if he didn’t have a gun readied against your forehead. “We can fix you and get rid of these emotions. It’ll be simple and I won’t have to destroy your model and cost cyber life more money to create another.”
Yeah, you were clinging to that false sense of hope weren’t you?
Bitterly you laughed, the tears blocked your vision and you pitied all the androids Connor had killed in this similar fashion.
You understood finally what each of them felt.
“I’d rather you just stop delaying and shoot me.”
Connor said nothing, and then his fingers trained on the trigger and you shut your eyes. Tired from this stupid scenario. The only thing you were sure you were going to miss was Sumo and Hank.
You smiled a bit at that.
The sound of a gun going off rendered the room quiet.