i don't care.*

* but she cares a lot. / est. 2017

[dcesntcare]

peter

Was she smiling because of him? Or was it because of another reason? He secretly wants to hope it’s because of himself, but Peter doesn’t say that. Instead, he keeps his hands in the pockets of his sweater, looking over at her – biting his lower lip, to try and hide how incredibly nervous he is. He lets out a laugh, though, hearing her words – breathless and amused, as he rolls his eyes, teasing in the action of it. Even her calling him nerd makes his cheeks flush, running a hand through his hair. “Yeah, yeah, a big nerd – that’s me,” Peter says with a smile still on his own lips. But he doesn’t miss the smile still on her lips, he thinks to himself. “I’m just hungry, I’m not hyperventilating,” he jokes, though he is hungry, that much is true. He feels Michelle’s gaze on his face, briefly worrying that there’s something on it. A smudge of pen? Something from lunch, smeared across the corner of his mouth? He can’t figure it out, and by now he’s too unsure of himself to ask. He rubs his hand along the back of his neck, pushing it out of his mind – because he’s told himself for weeks now, that she doesn’t feel the same way about him. Why would she? He’s not – he’s nothing special, Peter always tells himself; plus, she’s better off without the weight of having someone like Peter in her life. The weight of having someone like him, who puts on the suit, who goes out ever night, putting himself willingly into life threatening situations. “No, yeah, that sounds – I’d read that. I’ve never really, considered stuff like that before, but I should’ve –” Peter says to her, head snapping up, clearly engaged in the conversation now. “I’d like the title of it, if that’s okay. But I always take you seriously, Michelle,” Peter says now, his voice gentle but still with a firmness to show her how serious he really is, about this.  “I like it, when you sound like a smartass. Not in a weird way, obviously, but –” he clears his throat, adding, “like when you told Flash off the other day, that was hilarious. And he listened to you.” God, why does he ramble so much?

this is all going so very terribly.

but,  like   -    not in the literal way.   in a way that it’s probably going way too smoothly that mj is half-terrified she’s gonna screw this up somehow.   peter wants to go grab lunch with her.    and,   what ?    he doesn’t call her off when she categorises herself as a smartass ?    oh, damn.   oh damn oh damn oh damn.   why couldn’t he be a jerk ?   a jerk mj could easily told off and move the hell on.   why does he gotta be sweet and charming and have fluffy brown hair that she’s always wondered if it’d felt soft or a little greasy from how he’s running around and sweating as—

okay.   not opening up that pandora box for now.    she can address her suspicion like,  later.   when else is he  -   is she  -   are they  -  gonna just   ...    hang out and,  like,  eat ?   that is,  until new york needs saving again or something.   which is probably cool.    mj knows already that she’ll get disappointed if peter ever needs to go,   but she won’t take it personally.   she   -   never has.   not even those times when he’s still mooning over liz.

‘     yeah,   okay.    ’     she heard her own breathless-like voice answering back.   maybe her whole physical body is still stuck on the fact that it’s all going so very terribly that it catches her breath.    god,   look at that smile    -     how has he ever thought that that would be alright to flash people ?      ‘     i can give you the title later.   it’s cool.    ’      but it isn’t,   ‘cause she’s already giddy with the opportunity that she can maybe text him later.    and if she’s lucky,   he might even text her back.

‘    more like he’s scared i’ll do good on my threats.   which i will.    ’     yeah,  faking confidence.   she can do this.    ‘     that’s what i aspire to be,  you know:  someone who can terrify people but,  still,  like,   gets respected and stuff.    cause i’d be a badass and nobody screws around with badasses.     ’    aaand she’s being a cocky asshole.   sure.   a fantastic way to reel in your crush and hold on to their interest.   oh god,   why can’t she just shut up ?     ‘    but  ...   there are other ways to be badasses,   too.   and,   like,   yeah,    you’re a dork,   pedro,   but  ...  you’re ...  not so bad.    ’

[dcesntcare]

mister stark

tony blinks up at the girl from his wheelchair. he brushes over her gratitude uncomfortably, barely an incline of his head to acknowledge it. maybe it’s not very tony stark of him to not be proclaiming his heroics from the rooftops, but the battle with thanos is something he would rather forget. 

“he didn’t know you knew?” now tony’s just confused. “wait, how long have you been holding that over him?”

yeah,   yeah,   she gets it.    for someone whose mom worked at the hospital like its her second home,   it’s really funny that she gets squirmish around sick people.   injured?   bruises and all of that?   that’s pretty okay.   where she came from,   it’s almost even a norm.   but  -  wheelchairs.   illnesses.   and okay   -  so tony stark didn’t suffer from any diseases,   he still   -   you know.   look like it.   yikes,  sorry,   mr. s.

‘    i didn’t hold anything over him.    ’    she’s defensive,   but    -    had she held anything over him ?   apart of her still wanted to kinda submit her whole file on spiderman’s identity to columbia,   but.    she never made that public to peter or anything.     ‘     if you meant like,   how long i knew,    well   ...    what s’it t’ you ?    ’

[dcesntcare]

peter why you lyin

❝wha—❞

( okay, so his circuits have a mild feedback loop issue sometimes. funny, how it flares up around mj. it could be the milk skin type of sleep he’s been getting, in conjunction with, well, things. )

peter chases his own tail and when he finishes a circle, he’s elbowed the backpack to his chest like one of those baby straps and it’s gaping and in its mouth is the freAKING—

❝thanks. may would actually kill me if i—lost these. special pj’s.❞  gee. ❝hey.❞

a little dead-eyed, he remembers to zip up the bag. 

she squints.    yeah,   sure.   as if that just didn’t make the whole thing even more suspicious.    is she even associating with him in public?    apparently yes.

(  never mind the pitter-patter of her heart kind of stuttering when he looks at her like that.   that she even thinks that he’s  -  ugh  -  adorable.   a little.   like,  five percent.   no big deal.  )

‘    pj’s,   huh.    ’     her voice is dripped heavily with doubt,   one she isn’t shy in showing it.   will he pick up on that ?   will he play pretend ?   mj sometimes couldn’t help treating it a little like a game:    how will parker get himself out of the situation now ?      ‘    like,   what.    do they light up like christmas sweaters or something ?     ’

and then,   testing the waters    -    ‘    ...   can i see them ?    ’

[spideyheroes]

Zendaya Coleman in Spider Man: Far From Home (2019) dir. Jon Watts

[dcesntcare]

WE’RE YOU ONLY WATCHING ME BECAUSE YOU THOUGHT I WAS SPIDERMAN ?     ………….. ( LYING : )  YEAH.    revamp.    by bella.

[dcesntcare]

‘    so,   you’re    ...     not the avengers ?      ’       look   -   in her defence,    the members of the team just seem to grow like they’re some sort of a k-pop group,   okay?    mj supposes there are worse things than earth’s mightiest protectors growing in number that one wouldn’t be able to keep up   -   but.   still.   it’s hard to wrap your head around it,   you know ?     ‘     but   ...   you’re a hero ?    and    -    you’re british.    ’

    @thirtnth  /  sc.

[dcesntcare]

‘   so  ...    security took your banana,   huh ?    ’      she tries to sound cool   -   and not at all like she’s been observing him since the first week of midtown high.    it’s whatever.   like,   yeah   -   she and peter have grown closer as friends or something.    which is   -   kinda cool.   she’s never,   like,   had friends before.   properly,   she means.    but betty’s been hanging out with her more.   and ned talks to her about some of the books she recommends.   and peter—   well.    he sees her.   like,  as a person.    that’s   -  that’s really awesome,  too.     ‘     that sucks.   but,  i mean.   europe’s banana are probably,   like,   just as tasty.    i can even buy you some if you,   uh   -   want it.   or   -   whatever.    ’

     @sensesdialed  /  sc.

[dcesntcare]

i know mcu’s trying to cockblock me of ned and michelle being hella good with each other but im not its bitch and i’ll prove it

[keybladesoras]

Peter and MJ Deleted Scene!

[marvelherosource]

[dcesntcare]

‘    hey,   nerd.    ’     nonchalant.   play it cool.   she can do that.   definitely.   she’s the witty outsider kid with nothing to lose.   it’s just a stupid crush.   if she doesn’t admit to it,   it’s practically not there.     yeah.     ‘     your bag’s unzipped.    ’     and there’s a flash of red.   mj’s mind draws to three conclusions.   it goes up to four.   then,   to two.    she slides her gaze to the side to read his reaction.

    @rejectory  /  sc.

[dcesntcare]

‘    yeah    -    you could probably look better.      ’      okay,   jones.   way to hold those punches.    clear that throat.   try again.     ‘    i mean    -    peter told me all about what you did in the final battle against thanos.    i kinda wanna,   you know    -    say thank you.   that was really cool.    i,   uh    -    i told him,   by the way.    that i knew.    that he was spiderman.    ’

   @milehighmechanic   /  sc.

[dcesntcare]

peter.

Peter swallows, feeling the usual guilt that accompanies lying to Michelle. He can’t tell her – if she knows, then she’s in danger. And why would she want to know? Peter’s never really quite sure how she feels about him, but mostly he worries she mainly tolerates having him around, which he’d hate if that actually were the case. After figuring out how he really feels about her, being around her is – well, stressful, to say the least. He’s terrified of saying the wrong thing, and ruining any and all chance he has with her. If he even has a chance with her, he’s not really sure he does. He might not. He runs a hand through his hair, chewing his lower lip – a nervous habit – as he looks over at her again. She can’t know. He blinks, waiting for her to respond – palms already feeling sweaty, the nerves settling underneath his skin, feeling like pricks of lightening, jolting through his body; God, he’s sure he’s never been this nervous in his life. His brows knit together, listening, waiting – and he almost lets her see the way his face falls, hearing her mention her scooter and his taking the subway, fully ready to excuse himself and go commiserate with himself on the commute ride home, until – He lights up instantly, hearing her offer the chance of them getting food together as he nods. Probably too fast in response, and probably too enthusiastically. “Yes, yeah! Food sounds great, actually, I forgot my lunch on the counter – May’s going to kill me – but yeah, food is – yeah,” he answers, chuckling softly – nervously – running a hand through his hair and offering her another smile. “There’s a few – burger places? Or we could try one of those sit down places, but I don’t know if I could afford that –” he adds, giving her a sideways, sheepish glance after he suggests it. 

she’s smiling.   maybe a little too uncharacteristically.    and maybe she should stoping doing it.    now.   ‘cause it’s like   -    not cool at all.    but she can’t help it.   there’s just something about the way peter’s face just go    -    like wide-eyed.   and he’s also smiling.   like he’s   -   happy or something.   happy to get?   food with her?   mj?   michelle?   really?   weird.     (    what she wants to say:    do you really want to hang out with me?   is it really okay ?    don’t you think i’m off putting and awkward and lame?    )    what she says instead:    ‘    okay,   calm down,   nerd.    you’re,   like,   hyperventilating.    ’    but she’s laughing a little   -    smiling   -    and her face must look extra weird.   mj never smiles this much on school property before.    (   except when the ap english teacher brought up so many cool russian authors.   that was pretty badass.   )

peter’s face isn’t weird.   he’s stammering,   and that’s dorky,   but   -   damn.   he’s so cute.   so cute.   why didn’t liz date this dude sooner?   or,   like,   any girl or boy for that matter ?    mj won’t ever know.    peter’s so-    ok,   calm down there,   jones,   before you accidentally cite poetries about his cheekbones or something.    which you totally never did.    nope.   not even once.    ‘    burger sounds cool.    but,   like   -   only if they’re kosher.   or,   uh,   halal.   whichever.    ’     she’s twirling with the straps of her bag and that’s   -   you know.   girly.   or whatever.   she’s just  -   giddy,   alright ?    it’s just a simple lunch,  sure,   but mj’s pretty sure peter can kill her with his really attractive eyes.     ‘    not for religious reasons,   though.    i just really like how they respect their animals and process their meat before serving them.   it’s really cool and,  like,  it’s suppose to make our diet much healthier or something.   i read all about it in this book that’s to do with food and religions before.   i could even,  like,  link the title to you.     ’

and then,   a beat.    ‘    i mean.   if you’re interested.   you don’t,   like,   have to take me seriously.   cause  -   i know i just sound like a smartass sometimes.    ’

[inkskinned]

Oh man. Looking at you makes me stupid. I get obsessed with the smallest things. How you look while examining your fingernails. When you stretch, the curve of your neck. The slip of your spine. How wonderful. How enchanting.

You look up. Wrinkle your nose. “Why are you staring?”

I get wordless. All tangled heat and longing. I wanna build a universe where we never get out of bed. I wanna crawl into your arms like ivy, catch your laughter from the air and spin it into a blanket. You make me feel like I’m moss on a tree which is to say you make me feel like I’m home and where I’m supposed to be. Around you I trap sunlight. I want to tell you the inside of the forest you planted in me.

Open my mouth. “You’re a nerd.”

Classy.

[marvelgifs]

[dcesntcare]

‘    that’s,   uh   -    that’s a good book.    ’      mj really isn’t much for a conversation.   no,   she’s much more known for her witty one-liners and quick sarcasm.   still.   like   -    that doesn’t mean she doesn’t want to.    and seeing this girl at the library nearly everyday which is,   like,  bizarre in this technology-obsessed world,   it    -    it makes her wonder,   okay ?    and mj isn’t so good with wondering.   it makes her curious,   makes her reach out.     ‘    but if you’re looking for anything classic,    jane austen’s better.    like,   usually,   i don’t like romances,   but  -   um.    she’s a total badass.     ’

   @towercursed  /  sc.

[dcesntcare]

‘    if you’re looking to find out about what really happened to that store,   i don’t think sneaking around with black suit and those shades r’really gonna make people talk,   y’know ?     ’      she may or may not be just eating a pretzel as she’s talking to this random dude out of sheer curiosity.    it’s fine.    she’s got a pepper spray.

  @tahitisaved   /   sc.