WHAT HAPPENS NOW?

❝ LOOK at his eyes, there is something s p e c i a l about them. they look alluring, like the milky way galaxy. they define him. it is like looking into a m a g i c a lcrystal ball, and seeing your FUTURE. they define him because they are the entry way to his s o u l . you could see his unexplainable CAPTIVATING mind through those s t a r d u s t eyes.❞

[dcstruction]

𝙠𝙖𝙩𝙚'𝙨 𝙢𝙚𝙨𝙨𝙮 𝙘𝙝𝙖𝙧𝙖𝙨

𝐜𝐚𝐥𝐯𝐢𝐧 𝐚𝐥𝐞𝐱𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐛𝐨𝐰𝐞𝐧 : ❝ be your own champion . no one else will be .  ❞ 

                              |  bio  |  pinterest  |  playlist  | 

𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐦𝐜𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐧 : ❝ read past the words i say . it’s always in the unsaid .  ❞ 

                              |  bio  |  pinterest  |  playlist  | 

𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐯𝐢 𝐤𝐚𝐯𝐚 : ❝ a face’s beauty is temporary but intelligence is forever.  ❞ 

                              |  bio  |  pinterest  |  playlist  | 

[dcstruction]

esther & lennon: 

after the fiasco that was figuring out what to do in his own home he had given up and called a plumber hoping that at some point, it would be fixed. lennon was skilled in a lot of things but not this. he had given up halfway, decided that today wasn’t his day but needed to get some fresh air damned the fog and the wet streets from the rain. he had grabbed a heavy coat and trudged through it hoping that no one was stupid enough to drive out in this weather. he didn’t even think about skateboarding into town. by the time he makes it into the coffee shop there’s a few people but it’s not at it’s normal flow of customers and somehow he’s grateful for that. he doesn’t know how long he’s standing there before a voice pulls him out of his daze. he looks over at her, nodding his head. he’s a little frazzled. the headache was back and he felt on edge, shaking almost and it wasn’t from the cold. “i’ve been here for five months and even this weather is bizzare.” he says with a sigh, running an anxious hand through his hair. “seems like despite the warnings people still made their way here. coffee must be good or we’re all dealing with a headache that only caffeine can fix.”

        at first , it feels like a pressure - it builds and crushes her chest , almost leaving her breathless despite the small scoff that slips from esther’s lips at his comment . he’s only been here five months and her three , so why did it suddenly feel like it’s been a lifetime ?  she pushes the heaviness aside , shaking her head as if that would be what would rid her of that very same feeling that she had just hours ago when the rain came . ❝  no matter the warnings , people are only capable of terribly heeding caution . ❞  she says as a joke , taking the time to now readjust herself in the seat so she could look at him under the new light . ❝ you’ve got a headache too ? ❞ it’s curious how many people she’s come across today saying the same - some familiar and others strangers . maybe they were all a tad hungover despite the fact that esther made a point to not drink since she had work early in the morning . or the weather ( that somehow seemed much more plausible ) . ❝ when i decided to leave the south , i knew i was leaving the warm weather in texas  . this is probably my first actual winter . ❞  the coffee was hardly doing anything to help her feel better but it the warm mug still felt nice on her lap . ❝ are the summers here at least decent ? ❞ 

[miraydanerarchived]

ASLIHAN MALBORA DARMADUMAN | 1. BÖLÜM

[dcstruction]

calvin & cadence: 

Cadence leaned against the counter as she doodled away in her little notebook, she brought with her everywhere. It’d been a slow night at salt shack by the sea, and she was frustrated she couldn’t be doing something else, like checking out more of the town. Hell, she’d be happy if there was a customer to talk to even. She just wanted to know what was going on. Cadence discovered Grimrose while searching for her birthmother, and she wasn’t sure exactly what, but something had drawn her here, and she needed to figure out what that was because so far, she’d come up empty handed with anything pertaining to her birthmother. 

Cadence was pulled out of her thoughts by the sound of the door opening, and she immediately pushed herself up off the counter, glad someone finally came in even if work was the last place she wanted to be right now. “Welcome in. Take a seat anywhere. Anything I can get started for you?”

     calvin strolls into the building for probably the third time that week , a nod already rolling his neck to the side as he gives the other his full attention now that he’s out of the nasty weather . never mind the fog , but the mood had seemed to shift in the town and calvin did not like it one bit . the normal thing that he could cling to was his biweekly lunch run to the salt shack during work - for so for the sake of not having to cook anything or even rely on the cooking of those at the firehouse . 

   ❝ my usual , of course .  ❞   calvin says with a grin , welcoming himself to the first open seat at the bar as he approached cadence . it was too much of a convenience that the restaurant was practically walking distance to the station and even better , the food was actually pretty decent . when there’s not an immediate reaction on the girl’s face , the male just begins to shake his head with a laugh . ❝ i forgot you’re new here . just get me an order of the salmon burger to go .  ❞ 

[dcstruction]

selvi & koda: 

It’s a strange day at Hangman’s. The fog kept some away, but it also prevented those who came from leaving. More people that Koda was purposely slower to serve. More they suggested food to or offered a glass of water when they were getting one for themselves. So a spilled drink was nothing new. But this one seemed to happen in slow motion right before their eyes. Not that it meant they could stop it. A dramatic flair of an arm to emphasise whatever point was trying to be made before the drunken patron’s arm hit someone. Not only sending the drink flying over that someone but the glass to the edge of the bar where it smashed on its way to the floor. “ Oh shit, ” Was the initial reaction, tugging clean dish rag from their pocket to offer out to the person who had caught most of the drink on their shirt. “ Here, ” They start, grimacing a little as they looked over the bar at the mess. “ Don’t touch anything, gimme a second, ” They said, turning away to grab another rag to clear the shattered glass.

      the fog was just not it .  no matter the amount of hair product was going to tame the small pockets of frizz building on the bottom of her scalp - the rather unpredictable fog to blame for why she felt so scattered this afternoon . just when she’s about to step away from the bar in a last sigh of defeat , there’s a crash and a small knick against the flesh of her left lower leg . it was however the spilled drink across her sweater that provokes the largest reaction from the brunette . the clink of the broken glass against the power of her heel is unmatched to the disgruntled groan that slips selvi’s lips as she steps away from the counter . ❝ it’s nothing that a dry cleaner cannot fix ,   ❞  she says as if her now ruined sweater was the only catastrophe to be worried about . after all , the broken glass was not hers to clean . so she easily takes the fabric off , making an attempt to twist it to rid it of any excess liquid before wrapping it around her waist . sure the cashmere and rather thin shirt was hardly appropriate for the weather but it’d have to do for now . ❝ the glass is hardly your problem - ❞ selvi then adds as she notices the other moving to act . ❝ we’ll just get some of the staff to clean the floor . ❞ 

[kendalsroy]

Aslıhan Malbora in Üç Kuruş (2021 — 2022)

[dcstruction]

[ aslihan malbora | cis female | she/her | twenty-nine ] ——   welcome to grimrose, selvi kavas. it’s cool that you’re here, you know. haven’t you heard of the history of this place… anyway, how’s being a tourist who has been in town for two days, especially since you spend most of your days as a model.  also, not that it’s a bad thing, of course, but i’ve heard people say you can be a little tractable more than you are felicific… but that’s just coming from people who are bored here, i promise. to me, you remind me of steal my sunshine by len and the mirror being the only way you see the world, the last thorn on a wilting rose , depending on others so much that you don’t know what to do when you’re alone and being so beautiful that they see you but don’t listen to you. hope to see you around, vi.

full name — selvi gülistan kavas nick name —  vi , seba  age — twenty-nine date of birth — janurary 04 place of birth — paris, france  current location — grimrose, new hampshire gender — cis female pronouns — she/her religion — non-practicing muslim occupation — model / currently unemployed & dropped from her label education level — high school degree  residence — currently a hotel room waiting for her penthouse apartment  family —   hazal kavas (nee turan) [ mother, living] , fahir kavas [ father , living ] , cemilie kavas [ younger sister , living ]  finances — upper class  sexuality - pansexual  spoken languages — english, turkish, french  faceclaim / voiceclaim —aslihan malbora

fahir was born to be a business man - he knew how to spend money to make money even when it seemed a huge risk . seldom did he gamble on such odds but luck ( or brains really ) always seemed to follow him at a young age. he would never have to worry about his family , his young wife clinging to his side as the voice of reason and creativity. the two were a team who profited off the poor. 

because everything was a transaction to fahir , he moves him and his wife to follow the french market . it is there that business is booming - companies that could be bought out by a rich man like him and all he had to do was sign several papers to take credit from the work people. but it’s the birth of his first daughter that fahir sees the next investment . 

selvi kavas was born small ; features defined even as an infant with brown eyes that twinkled in the light as if cameras were born to follow her. she didn’t even to speak to gain attention - eyes would naturally follow her with a respect she didn’t work to earn but nevertheless given as a gift by allah himself . her confidence only grew as a child when she was thrown into beauty pageants . working an audience was easy when you were convinced that you were the prettiest thing in the room and a father who had money to throw to rig any competition. 

the french market became overly saturated as the 80s rolled by - magazines and the paris fashion week -  so then came america , promising new adventures . so she followed her agent , cause there was no need to question anything when everything had always been done for you. 

she is eventually convinced to take a two-week job in a booming town called grimrose where a billionaire tycoon promised her face to be plastered in an attempt to bring more tourists.  only three days pass when her life turns upside down . an old picture is leaked of a rather intimate selvi and her agent’s wife curled into each other as they kissed . her entire brand was built on her innocence and beauty - and no muslim should be the poster child of a woman who kissed men and women.  so she quits before she could be dropped , stating that she’s worked all her life so why not live a little now ?

headcannons

kate is back with your pretty girl airhead <3 when you’ve been risen to think that your greatest asset is your beauty, you think that is your only worth. for her , it’s her strongest asset and she likes to think she has the power to think on her own but she’s always been given things in life so this is the first time silva has ever had to care for herself. she’s still got loads of money to use ( more like blow through ) , but one day she’ll have to get up and actually get a job like a normal person seeing now she’s cut off from her family. that will be when reality actually hits her right in the face. 

overall, she is very nice but very much an airhead and doesn’t realize the privilege she reeks. she’s never had to cook for herself so she simply chooses to order food in everywhere , her clothes are top line brands , hair is almost always done at the salon and when will the maid be there to clean her hotel room ? 

for now, this is a very temporary stop . her hotel room will be gone in twelve days so she’s got that long to decide if she will stay in grimrose or not . ( though , she has already been eyeing this rather expensive pent house if she does stay ) 

[dcstruction]

   ❝   and this is the map of my heart,           the landscape after creulty which is,          of course, a garden, which is a           tenderness, which is a room, a lover            saying Hold me tight, it’s getting cold.

           it’s dark and soggy, and way overhead           there’s this tiny, tiny circle of light           like a winter moon.          You die there . this place,              little by little, all by yourself.  ❞ 

                            - unknown . 

it’s the first crack of thunder that pierces through her skull - a thump that only ached more and more with each heart beat and it makes the brunette immediately flinch . by the look of her company’s face outside , the storm is also a surprise to them . the once straight hair now clung to her face in loose curls as the rain begins to pour and the crowd disperses in an unorganized chaos as it pitter patters against the thin roofs of the cheap booths set along the street . esther could have sworn that the radio forecast this morning mentioned clear skies ( and there might have been wind but this was no match ) because the weather now would have been enough for the female to have stayed home for the evening instead of visiting the street market for its last day .

 she clings to the first metal pole under the abandoned booth  as if its the only life source there is as the heavens open . there’s also a mother and a child in the same space , hands intertwined after having navigated the chaos that still ensued as others flooded into the only open shops near the event space .

one.

two.

three.

breathe .

it will be fine .

one ....

   and the voice continues . it’s intrusive - maybe even a stranger that isn’t welcomed - but it soon blends into her own voice and the anxiety folds around her and doesn’t let go .  she had never been so afraid of thunderstorms before ( especially when there was a whole season dedicated to tornadoes in texas ) but now the rapid rate of heart is not from running to shelter but from the paralyzing fear of the rumble coming from the sky . it’s scary ... almost like the monster that always slept under her bed ...

the monster that slept under her bed?

of course we decided to walk here and it’s raining.

of fucking course .

the fear is now replaced with a frustration that doesn’t quite make sense . esther hadn’t even walked from the house to the market but she’s suddenly annoyed that she’d have to walk through the cloudburst with a very energetic child and no umbrella .

what if he doesn’t like me back ?

i can’t forget . i really cannot forget . i cannot afford to forget .

what a relief .

where did she go? where is she ? i cannot -

it’s almost a scream that slips esther’s lips . the headache grows worse and worse with each passing moment . she knows she startles the little child who is next to her - the fear in his eyes growing cause now his fear is validated in her own outburst . it’s her body telling her many things  - it’s her voice at the front of her mind setting off the panic and then the calm only to change once again . it’s everything everywhere all at once. 

so she does the only one thing her mother taught her to do . esther mclean ran - she ran and ran until the headache became nothing more than a dull hangover .  it doesn’t fade but it’s not nearly as blinding when she’s made it home and it’s surely only her there . that’s the first time it’s quiet and probably the first time she felt in control of her own mind since the first lightening strike . 

[dcstruction]

𝐨𝐩𝐞𝐧 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐞𝐫 / 𝐝𝐞𝐣𝐚-𝐛𝐫𝐞𝐰 𝐜𝐨𝐟𝐟𝐞𝐞 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐩

       even as esther takes another sip of her second cup of coffee , the headache that burns the side of her temples isn’t budging . her hair is tied back ( in what she had attempted to be a professional updo but failed miserably with all this damn fog ) and make up is only half done - this day was definitely not for her to conquer . it was there when she had gotten home after that rather frightening thunderstorm and it hasn’t left but esther mclean had no sick days to use so she’s doing her best during her thirty minute lunch break . so instead of wallowing in the corner of the coffee shop , she sits herself in the only seat left by the mock fireplace serving as a heater on this dreary day - ❝ half the town must not have anything else to do today but stay inside .  ❞  esther says to the person next to her , eyeing the line that was long once again . ❝ i usually settle for the coffee in the break room but today felt like a nice exception to the muddy water .  ❞ 

[iwaiko-deactivated20220301]

OLIVIA COOKE as Lea in Naked Singularity, 2021

[dcstruction]

tadge & esther: 

     ❝ i don’t think half the people in here ever left after last night — ❞ he only says this based upon the visuals around him. either that or there was an overwhelming increase in the number of ❛ walk of shames ❜ in their small ass town. tadge assumed the former, mostly because he could never believe this town wasn’t boring. ❝ you’d think whoever planned this wouldn’t have picked the day after halloween anyway. on one hand you’ve got the perfect town they make up for tourists, and on the other you have the locals who basically live in the bars. their mistake if we ruin their perfect image. ❞ but interestingly enough, tadge didn’t recognize the others face enough to make any assumptions that she wasn’t a tourist or something herself. he felt like he knew everyone after twenty years. ❝ shit, don’t tell me you’re actually here on vacation too after i said all that. ❞

     there’s the slightest twitch to her lip at the remark , fingers dropping from the rim of the glass to her lap as she adds : ❝ i think holding it the day after halloween is the perfect idea . it’s perhaps the only few times the locals and the tourists can clearly relate to something .❞  grimrose reminded her of some home , a town that rushed to grow faster than it could in hopes to draw in more spenders but there is never enough money in the world to hide flaws. ❝ definitely not a vacation , ❞ esther reassures him with a shake of her head . moving to grimrose had certainly never been a part of the trajectory she’d mapped for her life but a free home near the coast was too difficult to resist . beggars should never be choosers . ❝ i’ve only been here a month or so - ❞  time really did pass when you spent so much of digging through boxes . ❝ and i would like to think that ii haven’t already become some dull towns person .  though ... life has become luckluster since moving . ❞ 

[mjalti]

life goes something like this: you meet the best and the worst of yourself in other people. you come to terms that you are the universe experiencing itself. you get overwhelmed at 3 am being so close to seeing through the veil. you get what you give. and then, the next morning, you do it all over again, all over again, all over again.

[alicent-florent]

OLIVIA COOKE as ALICENT HIGHTOWER behind the scenes of House of the Dragon: Driftmark (2022)

[dcstruction]

esther & melina: 

Working on a case, led Melina to navigate through the market before she finally reached a nearby establishment that the person she was following finally stopped at. However, if she stood there without doing a thing that made her seem like an ordinary customer, he would find out she was paying attention to his actions. And by herself it would be harder to do her job, so without thinking twice, Melina reached a table, sharing a brief but genuine smile so her question would sound more inviting. “Do you mind if I take this seat? I’ll buy another one of whatever you’re having–” Melina either knew this person or she was good enough to pretend that she did. “It’s a beautiful day, isn’t it? It’d be a shame if I actually followed my first choice of staying at home instead of going out.” Casual conversation, anything that would make it easier to seem comfortable at the establishment.

   there’s nothing particularly inviting about esther - especially with her attention split between the book pressed against the edge of the table and the lunch that was barely touched . but she is still startled at the disruption ,  hands instinctively moving to close the book as if the other had caught her involved in some crime .  ❝  what  -  .. ❞  esther begins to ask , but her lips press back together into a fine line . it didn’t take an expert to see the bits of desperation for an invitation .  ❝ sure , whatever you’d like . ❞ it wouldn’t take long for esther to be feigning for an escape route soon any way . there was a reason why she hadn’t really made any friends since moving here . ❝ you can only stay at home for so long before you lose your mind . ❞ or at least that’s how esther felt in her grandmother’s house . 

[firstfullmoon]

—if I could remember a day when I was utterly a girl and not yet a woman—

but I don’t think there was a day like that for me.

When I look at the girl I was, dripping in her bathing suit, or riding her bike, pumping hard down the newly paved street,

she wears a furtive look— and even if I could go back in time to her as me, the age I am now

she would never come into my arms without believing that I wanted something.

— Marie Howe, from “The Girl,” in What the Living Do: Poems

[dcstruction]

calvin & sawyer: 

“i’m not a mindreader - i’m a psychic, there’s a difference” perhaps she had reached a new low arguing technicalities with the know it all fourteen year old in front of her, but could you blame her? the little shit was adamant that she should know what should be going on in her mess of a teenage head, that and perhaps she shouldn’t have guessed that her crushes name was chad. she went as basic as she could, rikki would be ashamed – “if i give you a free tarot card reading later this week, will you run along?” she still had a business to run as much as she could say the child’s talk was cheap, this town was small enough to create a buzz. she hadn’t realized she had gained a spectator till she turned around to a chuckle –

        the grin is inextinguishable on his lips - even as calvin watches the child retreats back to the festivities . he was definitely grateful that they got the chastisement instead cause there was no way he’d known that there was clearly a difference between the two . ❝ you’re probably tired of having to defend your honor , aren’t you ?  ❞  half a joke but more to convince sawyer that was definitely no way in hell he’d make the same mistake . ❝ you haven’t got to worry , though . i did not see a thing - .. out of sight , out of mind .  ❞ 

[dcstruction]

esther & tadge: 

     the bar was quiet, save for the third barstool being occupied by tadge himself and a few people sitting at a booth just to enjoy the warmth of the place. if he’s honest, tadge is surprised the bar is open after all the halloween festivities the night before and the market right outside its doors. normally he wouldn’t bother leaving his house during these street-wide events because he’d always be stuck parking his bike several blocks away, but the hair of the dog always wins the hangover battle. ❝ weren’t feeling the market either ? ❞ he invites himself to converse with whoever sat a few stools down from him. usually he’d ignore everyone around him, but that was only easy when there were too many people in the bar to care that he was sat alone.

        esther’s fingers tap against the edge of the bar , eyes fixed on the glass as if the ice melting was the only thing worth her attention at the bar . the fatigue definitely weathered any draw to strike a conversation with the unfamiliar folk around her - why even bother trying to fit in when this was only temporary ?  but then a voice draws her out of her lull , glancing over her jacketed shoulder towards the source . ❝ not really , no .❞  is all esther says , a half-assed laugh pooling from her lips at the idea that she briefly braved the streets just minutes prior . ❝ it’s not really my scene . ❞  and by the looks of it , it didn’t appear to the male’s either . ❝ and i should have known better than to assume that it would be any less crowded here at the tavern . ❞