aspiring rock n roll girlfriend @dead-disc0 - Tumblr Blog

Sorry for the radio silence, my nonexistent loyal followers. Unfortunately I fell into a few days of binges 🥲 trying to get back on track today. A setback is only a setback if you let it stop you forever

July 10th, 2026

585 calories total today -- a coffee (10, probably less but rounding up whatevs), a protein bar (180), some mango (250), and some strawberries (145). EOD weight was 183.6.

So, not awful today. 183.6 is lower than we've gotten so far, but still not quite where I want to be by the end of the week. I feel somewhat okay in my ability to lock in this weekend, but it's still concerning. I don't want to have to play catchup next week.

Had a big win today -- got home at like 9:30pm to a bunch of food on the table, even after I had already eaten. Managed to resist it!! Ate strawberries instead, because they still fit into my calorie limit for the day. I actually managed to resist lfg!!! Just gotta make it to my goal for this week, because then next week I'll actually be progressing beyond just what my weight was like 4 months ago. Right now doesn't feel like progress yet, it just feels like resetting to baseline, which is incredibly frustrating yet a hurdle I need to get over.

July 9th, 2026

660 calories total, split across a protein bar (160) and a salad (500). I feel so guilty for eating the salad cause I totally could've managed to eat less. I think I'm just hoping it'll help me to feel more full tomorrow, so I can eat less tomorrow (hopefully skip lunch). Otherwise I'll just feel shitty and end up eating whatever the fuck. 184.4 EOD weight...damnit!

I know that consistency is the only way, but that doesn't mean that weird plateaus feel any less shitty. Though I've seen this happen to me a billion times before. I'm the same exact weight or heavier than the day before, and then the next day I weigh myself and I'm suddenly like 2 lbs down. My goal is still 182 on Sunday evening, which will require some locking in over the weekend, but I think I can keep my eating okay. I've made sure to fill my time with lots of distracting plans. We'll just have to see if my body cooperates.

I've at least started to be consistent with my exercise class. Tuesdays and Thursdays! Plus something else exercise-wise at least 2 other days a week.

Weekends can be hard. But if I hit my goal for this week it'll be so awesome.

One of the things I’m using as my motivation is that I kind of really want to cut my hair short at the end of the summer. Not super short, but just, like, bob-length. I had it super long my whole life, until a couple years back when I started wearing it around shoulder-length.

But I feel like I won’t look good with short hair unless I’m thinner. Because right now my hair distracts from my body. Idk, it’s hard to explain, but like having fluffier hair makes my body seem more in proportion. Having less hair will look very cool girl, but won’t achieve that function anymore.

July 8th, 2026

Way overate dinner. Probably ended the day around 1500 calories. So, still below maintenance (aka won’t do significant damage), but really not good. I think skipping lunch has actually been bad, cause it makes me feel like I can eat whatever for dinner. The strat seems to be a small lunch and a small dinner, as opposed to no lunch and a medium dinner. Fell asleep very early and didn’t get to weigh myself, but this morning I was 183.6.

Did exercise class to make up for not being able to do anything Monday! I don’t think I’ll be doing it on Wednesdays again — the break between Tuesday and Thursday helps a lot and works better for my schedule. And the not eating really hit me, I just was so tired the whole time. Exercising again today, and then hopefully running tomorrow if the weather is okay. Saturday I want to go hiking, but I don’t know that the weather will cooperate. I think if I really try, and choose sustainable habits, I can make it to 182 by the end of the week. Which would be positively epic and keep me on track!

Happy to say that I was right — I’m not sore today!

Ate some watermelon for lunch and feeling weirdly guilty about it. Like, I feel like I could’ve definitely skipped it but I didn’t. I think I’m just concerned about getting really bad during workout if I eat absolutely nothing, cause I find I sometimes get really tired when I do that. I guess it’s fine for today, I’ll work my way up to eating nothing for lunch. I’m already eating less than when I started out, so I’m making progress.

July 7th, 2026

170 calories total, just a protein bar. I had an unfortunate impulse consumption of some pork ribs very late last night, and it made me not hungry for basically the whole day. Plus I went to my workout class, and I find that working out tends to decrease my appetite. Cause honestly, normally I would be losing my mind at that low of an amount. Just god-awful hangriness. Menace to society levels of irritability and distractibility. EOD weight was 184.2, which is actually what I was before the weekend.

I'm wondering if I'll be too sore tomorrow to do another workout class...that would be three days in a row once you include Thursday. I don't know, I'm just really liking how it decreases my appetite, and also the endorphins and all make me ruminate a lot less on some drama going on in my life right now. I definitely notice whenever I get into working out again that the more I do it the easier it gets, and this is no exception, so maybe the soreness will be okay tomorrow.

Basically, I think I'm doing okay today. I just gotta stay consistent. I think especially once I start getting into the 170s weight range I'll feel that progress and be motivated. The 180s feel like a weird hurdle since I did used to be 180 lbs a few months ago and then had some mental stuff and gained weight.

July 6th, 2026

Family dinner at a nice restaurant. Special occasion. I definitely ate too much. Probably around 1500 calories (I didn’t eat anything else the rest of the day). Though honestly? Lots of restraint. Didn’t eat until I was insanely full. And successfully skipped breakfast and lunch. Laying good groundwork for the next couple weeks, when I don’t have any special food events. EOD weight was 187.0. I’m supposed to be 182 by the end of the week…jeepers! Might end up needing to adjust that…we’ll see…

I feel bummed that I haven’t made much progress, but also okayer because I know that it was due to outside factors. Now that I have my control back I can be back on track!

Urghhh I look so awful in all the family photos from today. Especially because my cousins are super skinny. I'm so excited to see everyone again at the end of the summer and look thinner and get comments on it...

July 5th, 2026

Family BBQ today. Plus kind of recovery from bad day yesterday. Probably ate around 1200 calories total. I’m kind of just trying to maintain this weekend until I can get back to normal during the week. But I had a lot more restraint than I normally do at BBQs. Honestly besides last night’s binge, I’ve generally been okay with restraint.

This week will be better. And I don’t have any giant family events or trips this week (excluding a dinner tomorrow) that will force me to eat, which is good.

Nevertheless, EOD, and by extension EOW weight was 186.0. That was my milestone I had to hit for this week to stay on track, so we’re doing okay!! Down from 191-2ish last Sunday. Annoyed that we’re not quite out of the woods yet since I have a dinner tomorrow. Meaning I’ll have to work extra hard to offset it. Ugh.

Had a bad day yesterday…actually did well on my family trip, no more than 1200-ish calories. Which, obviously not ideal, but better than it could’ve been.

And then I proceeded to get home and have some crazy fight over god knows what and proceeded to cry for an hour and binge another 1000-or-so calories. So. That’s great.

Metabolism reset, I guess. Today is family BBQ, which I normally overeat at. I’m wearing shorts that are a bit small on me to discourage that. But tbh my end of week goal was 186, so as long as I reach that I’m still on track. I have a lot more control when I’m working.

July 3rd, 2026

790 total today, split across a salad (410), a protein bar (160), and some cashews (220). Managed to resist cravings in the end. Yay! Kinda bedrotted a lot of the day and didn't exercise (heatwave means I can't go run), but made sure to get 10,000+ steps via errands and plans and such. EOD weight was 184.2.

I'm concerned tomorrow is gonna be really hard. I'm going on a day trip with my family. I'm about to look up the menus of the places I suspect we'll go so I can plan ahead. Will need to have general restraint with portion sizes, because I can't just NOT eat. Will be thinking back to that Skins scene with Cassie and Sid for advice...

(If I can make it through tomorrow I can make it through so much. This is my test)

It’s not at all fair that people get to live their lives being skinny it’s not fucking fair

Did I upset god at the age of 6 or something and get cursed to this life

#edtumbr #i hate eating #rice cake nation #tw edtwt #tw ed implied

Bad cravings are back!! I really want bread!! And a lot of it!! I gave in and ate more for dinner than I planned to. I need to learn how to be less impulsive. I’m gonna eat a mandarin in the hopes that it makes me feel a bit more nourished. I might make it to 1000 today. This is what happens on days where I don’t exercise. Whywhywhy

Welp, that dress that I got online in a smaller size to motivate myself was a total flop. Cause turns out the fabric is stretchy, so it fits me! (Not that it looks good, but it fits like perfectly fine.) Flop

July 2nd, 2026

520 calories total today! Split across a watermelon cup (50), avocado roll (300), coffee (10), and protein bar (160). I was really happy that I managed to avoid eating something more substantive for dinner. I was even planning on eating a mandarin with dinner but I finished the protein bar and didn't even want it. EOD weight was 186.8.

Went to workout class today, and liked this instructor much more than the previous one I went to. I'll definitely be going back to him. Besides, blowing my money on classes will force me to actually show up to them.

There's a family barbecue this weekend for July 4th. My first big hurdle. How I navigate this will be hugely important. Cause I can't afford to binge or go above my allotment. Any misstep can screw up my entire progress in one day.

Having another hard cravings day!! But I managed to resist when someone put a bowl of candy RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME at work. So that's good. I need to start sleeping more. I'm drinking coffee right now in the hopes that it'll keep me locked in on work and I won't get cravings. I have a workout class tonight, but it's at kind of a weird time where I shouldn't eat beforehand or I'll go nuts, but also it'll be a late dinner if I eat after. I'm thinking late dinner is the way to go. It'll prevent late night cravings after my workout class. 8:30 isn't the woooorst time to eat, right? In Europe they eat late and they aren't obese?

My friend who had to cancel plans for tonight said she'll get me a "sweet treat" tomorrow to make up for it. Girl the only sweet treat I want is a size 28 waist and a size 6 dress size

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