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@deadbodydemon
buzzards swarmed my neighbors house
you may now kiss the bride
a suicidal deer ran into us
why do mothers only see their daughters as extensions of them? why should i have to be forced to do the same things she did just so she can get some sick pleasure in knowing that shes the adult and she finally gets to ruin someone elses childhood and teenage years? why do i have to be parentified just so a 50 year old woman can lay in bed all day and do nothing, just like her mother did to her?
i’m not gonna tag this but, jesus christ man i’m not sure what’s happening but i haven’t felt this mentally sick in at least a year and a half. my life’s pretty okay rn i just got a new job and i’m gonna graduate next year but for some reason i just feel like using all my old coping mechanisms and going back to who i was before.
so out of the many many times i’ve tried to relapse and y’all mfs KNOW i posted about them i only relapse when i get sick and DONT even try? okay.
i’m not okay
i haven’t been here in almost a year. and i was good and close to recovered for almost a year. but i know i’m relapsing now, i don’t feel like i’m in my own body, i feel like i’m in my mind and i cant get out. and the only thing in my mind is that i n e e d to fit back into my favorite pair of jeans. so here i am. and i wonder how this is gonna go.
oh look a relapse
yeah it hasn’t been that long but hey bitches i’m tired of seeing nothing but weight gain so let’s hope my mom gets embarrassed of my problems and makes me stop seeing a therapist again
(plz don’t tell me to go back to recovery i cannot explain to you how bad i felt constantly gaining weight and eating all the time)
i went to therapy, i told my therapist about my eating disorder, self harm, pretty much everything. so i’m supposed to be getting help but in honesty i don’t think i’m gonna deactivate my blog yet.
april 11 2019
5’2
109
BINGE BLOCK SEAGULLS
reblog to save yourself from binge
um hi
so i had to go to the doctor today and i was seven pounds down... after they told me to stop losing weight. so now my doctor contacted some therapists and i have no choice but to see whichever of them accepts me.
modeling
i have such a huge inspiration to lose weight now bc i just applied to TeenHearts modeling as they’re looking for new models and i’m supposed to get an email from them within a week or so. FINGERS CROSSED 🤞
its my birthday so shoot me in the face plz and thank you i don’t want this day to happen
*cracks knuckles*
alright soooooooooooooo my mother forced me to eat tonight ig she’s catching on to me more bc she’s been watching my body and what i eat. i’m 25 pounds away from my ugw she can’t stop me now
17 hours into my fast and my mother decides to bring home tons of candy so i put it away where i can’t see it ugh
help
so i’m fasting until my birthday (13 days). i’m putting on nail polish to remind myself that i’m fasting constantly. i’m making it through this fast.