head in the clouds

☁ Sara ☁ 18 ☁ Chicago ☁ Overwhelmed from life. Probably eating at the moment. Stick around for puns and a bunch of fandom trash.

[dailysecrethistory]

Several weeks earlier, Henry had become angry when the twins were voicing moral objections at the idea of killing Bunny. ‘Don’t be ridiculous,’ he snapped.

[hyppogriff]

the secret history - characters

[myattemptstobecleverneverwork]

[thehauntingsource]

[alisonzai]

[woolawool-deactivated20220724]

Every other straight man ever singing about a woman: wow baby you’re so sexy I love you because your body is sexy

Hozier, an intellectual and lesbian ally: I am a bird of prey and you are a sharp spike upon which I impale small rodents

[woolawool-deactivated20220724]

Straight man #2505: we met at the club she was really hot

Forest lad himself: it was as my baby churned up the mud that she found me there, buried and alone

[woolawool-deactivated20220724]

Fucking eduardo sheerman or whomever: I just want to errr kiss you babe

Andrew Hozier Byrnes: I want nothing more than for us to lay in a field together until we decompose and are eaten by foxes

[lokisuggestion]

I love being asleep and I love being in bed but I hate GOING to bed because it requires so many small rituals and bedtime activities i wish i could just automatically transport myself into bed the moment i get sleepy already with my teeth brushed, in my pajamas, phone set down to charge, entire body marinating in an artisanal mix of 17 herbs and spices and sealed in a sous vide bag, etc 

[theothersideofthechair]

Me to my 21 year old coworker: My darling. My darling please. Wipe up the spilled bleach powder BEFORE you spray a chemical on it.

21 year old coworker: Why?

Me: Because my sweet summer child. When you mix bleach with other chemicals you can accidently create chlorine gas, chloroform, and also give yourself chemical pneumonia!

21 year old coworker: Oh......

[patchmeup]

Fun fact one time my cat pissed somewhere totally inappropriate and my dumb ass thought it would be a great idea to pour bleach on it to make sure he never peed there again. I gassed myself out of my own home

[theothersideofthechair]

Well fuck.

Remember kids! Don't clean up urine or urine byproducts with bleach or bleach derivatives.

[adult-sasuke]

that post was right i wouldn’t have a sense of humor without spongebob. its still some of the goddamn funniest shit i’ve ever seen. spongebob almost dying because he’s too polite to ask for a glass of water at sandy’s house. mr. krabs and spongebob killing the health inspector. smittywerbenjagermenjensen. “I was born with glass bones and paper skin. every morning I break my legs. and every afternoon I break my arms.” the perfume department on the flying dutchman’s boat. that time spongebob cleared his mind to be a fine dining waiter and forgot his own name because that’s how customer service just BE. the ugly barnacle that was so ugly everyone DIED. the END. the one where squidward buys a pie but it’s actually a bomb. and the MUSICAL numbers like??? the fun song. the christmas song. tony award winning song “this grill is not a grill”. the entire band geeks episode like…this is all from the top of my head!!!!! just from the top of my head!!! there’s so much more!!! thank god for stephen and all the laughs i’ve had because of him.

[webcomicname]

[hardstoplucas1]

“If I didn’t see you then you didn’t do it”

[nattousan]

this guy is excelling in a completely unique genre of his own creation that consists of extremely relatable humor steeped in twilight zone horror and i am here for it

[queerclouds]

my dumb ass always thought the song went “i guess it rains down in Africa” and i was like damn i guess it do

[afairfight]

The contrast between Tan’s mantra and the rest of the Fab 5’s mantras is sending me.

[rainbowrowell]

Everyone else: 💖👍🏼🌈🙏🏼

Tan: You could try trying.

[alisonzai]

bee real, my senior thesis

[dredsina]

What riding the bus will do to you is give you an unbeatable power stance

[dredsina]

If standing in the middle of a crowded bus going 70mph with no available handholds while also cradling a cup of coffee and a heavy backpack can’t knock me over then you certainly can’t

[karazrel]

hozier is literally the only valid man

[rewatchingpokemon]

BULBASAUR PICKED OUT A BULBASAUR COOKIE

[unclefather]

“this is me”