Dealing With Dermatillomania

A side blog where I dump my thoughts and feelings about my struggle with Dermatillomania. POSSIBLE TW

[dealingwithderma]

I have no scabs to pick. 0 not even one. This rarely ever happens wtf I’m so annoyed

[dealingwithderma]

I’ve had a burn on my leg for about two weeks now and recently it’s been hurting worse than usual. Almost, if not all of my wounds get infected bc I pick at them and don’t care for them, but the one on my leg has caused so much pain that I can’t stand on it without intense pressure and burning. I also don’t talk about my derma with anyone, not even my therapist. But it’s been so painful I mentioned it to her and after asking me a few questions she decided I should go to the urgent care to get antibiotics. So I did. And then I even asked her to be my accountability buddy with taking care of it. So for honestly the first time ever, I properly bandaged my wound. (Now I took it off a few hours later but the deal was once a day I text to say I wrapped it) So at least I’m doing more than usual !

Idk. Proud of myself ig? Maybe this means I’m finally ready to talk about my derma and try and work on it?

[dealingwithderma]

Has anyone ever had a scab or wound that’s lasted 5+ months?? I’ve had a spot on the top of my head that I’ve picked at and it’s still here 5 months later.. I can’t see it obviously and I think it’s probably still hanging around bc I bleach and dye my hair a lot so it’s just constantly aggravated. But I’m like 😳 damn bro this bitch stayin around for a while. I wish other wounds would heal this slowly lol

[dealingwithderma]

Ok TW for talking about scabs but I have no where else to talk about this so I gotta lol.

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Ok burn scabs are some of my favorites. They’re a bitch to pick at first right after but eventually they’ll scab over rly easily and it’s so satisfying to pick. 10/10. This is so weird I know but I just…. Love picking :///

[dealingwithderma]

Not me DREAMING about having scabs and picking them 😭😭

[dealingwithderma]

Yall ever wanna get injured just so you can have scabs to pick? Or am I the only one 😂

[dealingwithderma]

My lips are so incredibly damaged from the years of picking. Not to mention I got bit by a dog and had stitches a few years back, so there are sooo many damaged nerves throughout my bottom lip. It makes it nearly impossible to pick bc I keep reaching for that feeling, but in reality I can't feel shit so I just keep digging. It's so annoying omfg

[dealingwithderma]

Have you ever heard of antioxidant supplements being used to treat dermatillomania? My psychiatrist recently prescribed me some when I talked to her about it (more specifically showed her how fucked my back is). Unfortunately, stomach issues can be a symptom if you start at a high dose, which is required to actually work, so I'm at a low dose that doesn't yet make a difference. There's been success with N-acetylcysteine as treatment for derma, so I've got my fingers crossed.

I've never heard of that!! Ive also never talked to my psychiatrist about my derma, but I definitely want to. Thank you for letting me know this info!!

[dealingwithderma]

Re: the tiktok comments... I'm so sorry you've gotta deal with that. People can be so ignorant, especially online. Please try to not let it get to you too much—it was brave of you to put yourself out there, and there will always be people who love you for all that you are ♥️

Thank you so much anon. The comments were horrible and definitely hurt my heart, but I know I am stronger than some fucking idiots hiding behind a phone screen.

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My mom told me that I should have known, that I need to cover my body because the look of my skin is so horrendous, so disgusting. That I've done this to myself, so of course people are going to be horrified by my body. I think that hurt more than anything yk? More than the comments, more than the looks I get out in public. She's never been shy about speaking her mind on how I look, but never had I felt so betrayed, so alone.

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I'm sorry for spilling that, you didn't ask about that. But this blog is my derma diary, so I want to be completely honest with everyone.

[dealingwithderma]

I bit my lip once and now half of the inside of my lip is swollen and torn lol love this

[dealingwithderma]

A video of mine blew up on tik tok and it showed my bare legs. People have been commenting about how awful they look, how im a t*eaker, how it looks like I got into a fight with a bear, that I ran out of room on my arms, that I'm on meth. And so so much more.

I've always been shamed for my scars, from family, from friends, from strangers. You think I'd be used to it by now, but it still hurts.

[dealingwithderma]

Happy BFRB awareness week!!!! I love you all so much and am so proud of each and everyone of you!! Dermatillomania is a bitch to deal with and you all are doing amazing, even if you just recently picked. Know I'm always always here for you guys, and I thank you for the support you all give me.

[dealingwithderma]

I pick my fingers a lot (idk for sure if I have derma but the more I look into it the more I think I might) as well as my face and my mom always just says in the 'mom voice' to stop. How do I tell her I literally /need/ to pick the skin?

Oof my mom used to do the same thing to me and still does sometimes. I think the easiest way to explain it to her would be saying it's a form of ocd bc you can't just stop. Ocd is more known than BFRBs and dermatillomania, and they are classified as ocd. I hope this is a little helpful! Good luck and let me know how it goes!

[dealingwithderma]

I learnt about dermatillomania recently, and although I don't pick at my scalp, legs, or some of the commonly listed areas, I have picked at the soles of my feet, face, arms, back and fingers to the point of mild scarring. Do you think I could still have it even though I don't pick for hours at a time or at commonly listed places? Sorry for long ask, I'm just very stressed about it x

Absolutely! Not everyone's derma is the same. For instance I dont pick at clear skin, I only pick at scabs. But I still have dermatillomania. You don't have to be textbook!

Much love xx

[dealingwithderma]

Dermatillomania makes me hate myself so much. Not only am I embarrassed of my scars, but the things I do in private make so ashamed. I dig into my skin with my hands covered in blood, I bite the skin off when I can't pick it (even on my feet), my pillow is covered in blood stains, along with everything else I own. Everything about this disorder makes me want to curl up into a ball and hide in a dark corner.

[dealingwithderma]

Hey this isn’t really a question but I have dermatillomania and I’m really self conscious about the scabs and dry skin on my face that happen after I pick it. I found that concealer helps hide it and feel less self conscious but it doesn’t hide scabs and dry skin well, so what I do is I take some medicated chapstick and rub it on the scabs. It helps to heal it and also helps the skin not look so rough or noticeable once you put concealer over it. Hope this helps someone

Oh wow this is great info anon thank you sm!!!

[dealingwithderma]

I pick at the skin on the bottom of my feet as well as my back. (I will pick at my face but recently I’ve gotten into some better habits to avoid making it worse.) This last week I pulled so much from both of my feet that it is difficult for me to walk. What is something I can say to friends when they ask about my wobbling? Thank you in advance!

Hey anon! I'm sorry you're struggling sm but Im proud of you for reaching out! Picking on the feet is always so hard, maybe tell your friends you burned the bottom of your feet walking barefoot on the road? Or maybe you sprained an ankle (if it's a similar type limp), hmmm in a quick moment you could say your feet are asleep!

This is a tough one, maybe some of my followers know of something you could say?

Much love n luck to you!!