— stardust in your soul

this crazy. i'm the type gon' shine without the sun on me. tryna escape my past and get away from it. know you wonder how life is, i wanted you right here, i figured i was wasting time.

[deanhadwin]

we were too close to the stars  ✨

self-para

Emotions - one of the things Dean had a hard time dealing with, maybe it was because he started hiding what he felt since he was a teenager, but became so good at it even hid them from himself. Recently, he tried to fool himself he didn’t care about what was happening in Nightrest - paint it as it was bad for his business, hide away that he was actually scared to death what could happen at any moment. Scared someone else he cared about would fall victim to the freak who choose to play their own version of a God. 

He didn’t know how to help those around him, words were meaningless and he couldn’t snap his fingers to bring back who they lost, the only thing he could do to create an impact of any kind was throw his money around. Help rebuild the shattered community, though he made sure people saw it as nothing more but a boast of his net worth. 

He strayed away from the big crowds, intentionally or not he was observing. Watching like a hawk, fearful what happened at Rhee’s will happen again, fear that crawled up his spine that left him feeling uneasy. Though when his eyes caught those of Shadae’s, his people-watching ended, and the previous feelings were replaced with warmth - after all he still thought of her as the only thing he managed to do right, though he still found a way to fuck it up. He didn’t go to her at first, letting her talk to her friends as he did the same, but never stayed too far. 

Later in the night, and liquid courage in his system, he made his way to her. There were many things he wanted to say and if he didn’t do it now he didn’t know if he’d ever take that step. It was now or never. “Can we talk? Please? Meet me outside in thirty minutes,” he lingered in front of her for a bit, letting her see the pleading look on his face hoping it’d be enough to convince her before moving away.

He was pacing back and forth, constantly looking down at his watch while trying to piece together how to say what he wanted to say. Playing out every scenario of her reaction just hoping the starts were in his favor tonight. He was about to turn around and go find her when he heard the clinking of heels coming his way. He turned to face her, that one smile only reserved for her gracing his face. “You look beautiful,” he whispered when she stood in front of him.

“Shadae — there’s so many things I want to say.”

He reached for her hand, his thumb caressing the back of it. Memories of their relationship flooding his mind, picturing all the times he was the reason for her smile and how fucking good it made him feel. He even pictured all the fights, every back and forth, every time they found themselves entangled in one another after. The last fight that ended everything. A month ago when he went to her place and they kissed. Every little moment and he knew, right here and right now - he was in love with her, he’s always been in love with her and his hearth will always stay open only for her. 

“I know what we had was messy, I know as much as we loved each other we hurt each other just the same, but I — I can’t do this with anyone else. After we broke up I tried... you know, to move on even get in a relationship and I thought they didn’t work out, because it was just who I was, but no. It’s because of you Shadae, it’s because I’ll always love you and I want to have a life with you. Give me a chance baby and I swear I’ll make it right.” 

He chewed onto his bottom lip, his eyes darting between her eyes and lips. She meant the world to him and he was going to work hard every day and night to show her he meant it. He placed a hand on her cheek, slowly leaning in to capture her lips in hers when her scream sent him back in a jump only to turn and see someone coming at them with a knife. 

“Run! Get help!” he lightly pushed her back, turning around ready to fight like hell with every ounce of strength in him just to make sure Shadae could safely run back inside. He threw a punch in their direction successfully making impact with their jaw, only to be met with the same force making him stumble back. The alcohol might of given him courage to confess his feelings, but took away the ability to stand strong on his feet. With something resembling a roar Dean lunged at them, throwing them both to the ground. At first he didn’t feel it, but it didn’t take long to feel the throbbing pain in abdomen as he looked at knife, the only part visible being the handle. He stood up, stumbling as he rested his weight against the railing, moving his hand to reach for the weapon, but the assailant was faster them him. They retreated the knife and Dean cried out in pain his hand instinctively holding over the open wound. He turned to run toward the entrance, hoping people were already on their way, but the only thing he saw was Shadae frantically banging on the door trying to open it. He didn’t get far before he felt sharp pain in his shoulder, then his side and back. 

It was getting harder to breath and he could feel his aching body begin to give out as he fell to the ground. He was in so much agony he couldn’t feel as they stabbed him four more times. He knew he wasn’t going to make it, there was no way. He moved his head to look at her, use the last of his strength to tell her to jump in the water, the only way he thought she could save herself when he was met with something he never wanted to see, let alone imagine. Another person came through the door attacking Shadae. 

The only thing he could do was watch as the love of his life was fighting for her life. A tear ran down his face mixing with the blood falling from his mouth. He tried to move, maybe he’d do enough to distract them, but he was pinned down forced to watch the ugly scene before him. 

There were so many things he still wanted to do. He wanted to fix the strained relationship with his father, he even dared to wish he could say sorry to the many people he hurt one way or another, he wanted to have a second chance with Shadae, he wanted to grow old with her. But the only thing he could feel was all those wishes slowly fade as his eyes grew heavier. 

His bloodshot eyes locked with hers, he wished he’d gone out of his way to make her leave Nightrest with him, but now it was too late. “I love you.” he whispered before coughing up blood, his eyes closing and his life slipping away as the only thing he could hear was her voice.

[carpenter-sabrina]

THE VAMPIRE DIARIES 4.13 Into the Wild

[deanhadwin]

@nam-daeeun

[deanhadwin]

closed to — @nam-daeeun​​

   —   dean didn’t know, maybe didn’t even want a way to comfort people after everything that’s been happening in nightrest. feelings were always something that made him uncomfortable, so he was more than happy to attend an event and give the one thing he knew best - money. that didn’t need words or bullshit, people were just glad to receive it and it was one good deed done. he was near the bar, remaining close so he could get his re-fill whenever, observing people as they mingled through the crowd.  one face though stood out and just his luck was coming toward, “i never understood why people hated small towns so much, but then i keep bumping into you and now i understand.” 

[deanhadwin]

closed to — @selintemel​​

   —   “thank you for making sure i don’t suffer through this on my own,” it was no secret dean’s friends around nightrest can be counted on one hand, and obviously he was glad selin showed up. “how you’ve been holding up?” though he didn’t show it before dean appreciated selin’s effort to reach out to him when he went through his own loss and he wanted to do the same for her, even if there wasn’t anything he could do to be honest. 

[heavensghost]

Back to December

[deanhadwin]

@shadaeokoro

[deanhadwin]

DEAN CHARITY GALA OUTFIT

[deanhadwin]

doncalma​:

-

Benito took a swig, “Just make sure that you’re well prepared for any situation really. It’s why I got security on most all my properties. And the ones that don’t I usually have bodies in site.” If everyone had guns in the town, there wouldn’t be such a dramatic number of deaths. Or so he would assume not. Most people now a day’s were to scared to hold a weapon to the point that they allow themselves to get mugged and killed. “I knew a few of them certainly. Mostly because they were closed with my sister, but that’s about all. You know I don’t go out of my way to meet every Tom, Dick, and Harry.” 

✱

   —   “don’t want to burst a bubble, but i doubt security other than actual people can do much,” it didn’t take much to learn how to hack a camera, dean had done it many times before, even tried to access the footage from every scene, but he always found jack shit. “rhee’s was packed and five people got killed. and nobody saw a thing.” he shook his head, bringing his glass up only to let it down once it was empty. “yeah, i know. have to give props though, five people in a full house, that takes balls.”  

[deanhadwin]

veritycalma​:

A week had gone by and it still hurt as much as it did that night. No longer having someone to fight over brownies with, or tease when it came to their best friend—willing to give up every corner piece if it meant having Monty back. Seven days had gone by and with every passing day, the brunette was finally coming to term that nothing could bring him back. Could bring any of them back. Her eyes darted to the ground as the two walked, shoulders shrugging at the question. “I’ve been trying to keep myself busy. Working extra shifts, making sure everyone else is holding up alright.” It was the only thing she knew how to do. “What about you? You holding up okay?”

   —   dean didn’t think so much could change in a few months, but someone in nightrest worked hard to prove him wrong. he was surprised at first of what they were capable of, the length they would go to to terrorize a whole town and after what happened at rhee’s nothing could surprise him anymore. “i’m alright,” maybe if he said it enough times it would become true, who knows? but in reality he felt uneasy, afraid of who might be next. “had to get used to it at some point, right?”  

[deanhadwin]

Selin 📲 Deany weany

Selin: after this charity gala thing, we're going out of the country to travel, okay?

Selin: we need to get the hell out of this murder town

Dean: i have a better idea

Dean: let's do that, but never come back.

Dean: this is one little fucked up town.

[deanhadwin]

closed    ╱   @veritycalma​​ location   ╱   idk.

He was stepping into unfamiliar territories with everything that’s been going on. He had to become a friend that people could use for a shoulder to lean on, and it wasn’t that he didn’t know how to be a friend, but he didn’t know what he was supposed to say when it came to dealing with loss. He was still processing his own grief and he didn’t know how to do it, let alone for somebody else. What he knew though was words were meaningless, they didn’t help as much as people wanted to think they did - they just didn’t. “How are you holding up?” he questioned, unsure what else to say really.  

[deanhadwin]

doncalma​:

“Sit around like turkey’s in November.” Benito spoke without a trace of amusement in his tone, yet the words did make him want to scuff. He knew, though, that the time was more inappropriate then not. His friend needed someone to talk to, and he was more than willing to sit and listen to him. “I don’t think the pigs know what to do themselves, let along tell us anything.” He coughed after taking his shot then continued, “How are you doing?”

“That’s one way to put it,” but he was right, as much as Dean didn’t want that to admit it. They had no idea who to watch out for or who the next victim would be. “They didn’t do shit the first time, doubt they’d do now,” maybe it’s time for them to declare defeat, get used to people dying until they got bored or leave Nightrest. “I don’t know, weird? Should get used to it though, looks like this won’t stop anytime soon,” his brought the glass to his lips, emptying it again and filled both. “You? Did you know any of them?”

[deanhadwin]

closed to @nam-daeeun​ location - anywhere

“I don’t like you and I doubt you like me either, but...” Dean took in a breath, he wasn’t one to care, he didn’t want to consider people’s feelings, he didn’t want to be going through this. He left Salem years ago to find his own peace and this was anything but. “Shutting the whole world now sounds better than anything, but we have to figure out what the fuck is going on. Did you find anything? Anyone you think could be capable of doing this? Sometimes an outsider’s perspective is the only one without bias.”  

[deanhadwin]

closed to @doncalma​ location - anywhere

This was their personal version of hell, that’s what Dean gathered from everything. Nothing else made sense. Someone wanted them to suffer, that was it. Why? He could care less at this point, the only thing he wanted was to see whoever was doing this go through the same thing. Suffer in their own hell before life slowly leaves their eyes. “Don’t even know what to talk about,” he sighed, pouring himself yet another drink. “What are we supposed to do now?”

[deanhadwin]

@davinafms​   ╱   closed starter. outside rhee’s    ╱   location.  

He inhaled deeply, let the thick air fill his lungs. It was a nasty habit he gave up years ago, only for it to return caused by the nonsense in Nightrest. He held his breath for a few seconds until releasing the smoke, watching it curl away. He was lost in his own mind, somewhere far from this little town when the door summoned his thoughts back to the cold wall he was leaning on outside Rhee’s. “Dav,” his lips curled up in a smile when his eyes fell on her, “enjoying the games?” he questioned taking another drag, he on the other hand didn’t care about them this time around, his only purpose tonight was to get drunk and have a good time.

[nam-daeeun]

"You'd be surprised. Publicity forces people to say things they'd never admit otherwise." Of course, it didn't change the fact that he was right: the police weren't doing shit, and if they couldn't find anything, there was little way he'd be able to. Right? "I'm not asking anyone to bet on me. You know, Dean—if I wanted to listen to veiled threats, I'd just go visit my cousin," Dae sighed, fed-up. "If you don't have any more helpful comments to give me, I'll be going now, yeah?" The man's comment hit a bit harder than he would've liked and he shook it off, turning to leave.

[deanhadwin]

“Publicity?” Dean laughed, shaking his head. The media was just as bad as the police in his eyes, independent or not. Everything was over-filled with bullshit - one real article followed by twenty full of lies in order to bury it. With each day Dean realized how wary he’s become of most people around Nightrest. But can you blame him? With a killer on the loose you can never be sure if someone’s worth trusting. “Just that you got to be a fool to think small town folk will share their secrets with a stranger, especially a journalist - one who intends to use them for one way or another.” Sometimes people around here tend to over-share, but even when that happens they were meticulous with it. “Good luck with that.”

[nam-daeeun]

"I don't know." Dae shrugged, crossing his arms. "Yeah, the board is missing. But standing there staring at it sure as hell isn't going to do anything." If there was any shot, he'd give it a go. He was getting sick of the inaction in the town. "If you can't find it one way, start looking for another—don't just stand there and wait to die." He bit the inside of his cheek, cutting himself off before he could go any further. "Maybe it won't do anything. But at least then I can say I tried."

[deanhadwin]

"I don't see what good a journalist can do. The police can't do shit, don't think anyone would bet their cards on you." Point was Dean lived long enough in Nightrest to know the people here, and he didn't know who to point a finger at. A complete stranger didn't make sense, why would they stick around to break havoc? There was something more hiding behind the surface. "Sure, don't just stand around, at least we'll know if you die there was an actual reason. Don't go poking the bear if you don't know what you'll do if it turns around."

[shadaeokoro]

shadae: don't be like that.. if you didn't care, you wouldn't be acting like you're trying to convince someone that you don't shadae: but it does dean, forcing down emotions don't do shit but cause more problems in the long run

[deanhadwin]

dean: let's all sit in a circle, hold hands and sing fucking kumbaya dean: talking about it doesn't do shit either dean: and i don't want to talk about it dean: please just don't