[dear-d4d]

I’ve started this blog because, after so many years of inner turmoil and self-hatred, a lot has finally come to light of the severe trauma that my father put us all through. I have so much inner confusion about this - this is somewhere to vent without driving him to drastic actions, but also somewhere to figure out my own emotions, along with maybe helping some others better understand their own.

[emtalks]

every time I read poetry or a beautiful text I feel such a melancholy ache for the ability to appreciate the mundanities of life to such an extent that you can create something beautiful out of the most overlooked things

[dear-d4d]

no one has the right to tell me when or how I should forgive you

[amerlcanapparel-deactivated2020]

why follow your dreams when you can follow me on tumblr

[brokensmolders]

people heal at different rates. people grow at different rates. i know it hurts to feel like you’re missing out, but it’s okay. take your time.

[grifalinas]

I don’t know if anyone needs to hear this but “we all respond to trauma in different ways, not just pretty palatable ways” and “we are accountable for our own actions, even actions born from trauma” are not contradictory statements

[yellaghost]

[narcopathicabuse]

[0ntheroad2recovery]

T said something in her latest reaction that's been stuck in my mind...

''It's really understandable that you were stressed to go back home. Home is the place where you felt really bad for the past few weeks, you don't want to go back to that.''

Reading that just makes me sad. This fact (i think i can say that) makes me sad. 'home' should be a place where i feel good, where i can be myself, where i like to be and where i can be calm. And it's not (always) like that right now. So.. yea. That's hard to accept and i don't particularly get happy from that...

[whywouldtheydothattome]

lmao

[narcopathicabuse]

[dear-d4d]

I had a dream about you last night. I didn’t realise how scared I was of seeing you again.

[dear-d4d]

To me a relationship means a war, a constant fight against being torn down.

[dear-d4d]

I only ever saw my mum as a weak shell of the person she once was

[dear-d4d]

romantic relationships terrify me

[dear-d4d]

All the things I hate about myself I get from you.

[dear-d4d]

It terrifies me how you can change personalities in the blink of an eye, go from vindictive and hurtful to charming, smiley and flirty in less than a second.