i love james po-- james, get off my page!

Lily Evans. Gryffindor, Head Girl and member of the Slug Club. Stubborn, loyal, determined. Avid opposer of anything to do with the Dark Arts; very fond of sugar quills. Forever in love with some arrogant toerag named James Potter. GRYFFINDOR { wear }

[prongsyjames]

James didn’t fall asleep until the wee hours of the morning, after watching fuzzy shadows move across the ceiling and doing his best not to move around too much, so as not to wake Lily. He had a funny feeling, though, just before falling asleep, that she might not have been sleeping much either. In any case, he slept through the sunrise, not stirring as she left the room. When he finally woke, subconsciously lamenting the loss of her warmth beside him, he groaned and reached for his glasses, slowly making his way down to the living room. A small smile crept across his face when he spotted her - she always did look so peaceful when she slept. He picked up the teacup and the book, and then tried to shift her into a more comfortable position, trying not to wake her. It was plainly obvious that she needed the rest.

[dear-lilyevans-blog]

Lily didn't hear James as he came downstairs and picked up her book and teacup, nor did she wake immediately as he shifted her. For a few minutes she remained deep asleep, until, as though her subconscious could sense his presence, she woke with a start. "James?" she rubbed her eyes and tried to find her bearings, a little confused about waking up and not being in their bed. As it all came back to her - why she had been sleeping here rather than upstairs with James - Lily remembered lying wide awake in the darkness, and suddenly recalled what today was. She looked around to find James, hoping he managed to get some rest. She reminded herself over and over that their mission tonight was not particularly risky, and it was extremely unlikely that either her or James would be hurt, but it still took a great deal of effort for her to resist running to wrap her arms around him and refusing to let go so no one could even get close to him. She shook that thought out of her head as her eyes finally focussed and she spotted him, vowing in her mind to make today just as normal as any other day.

[prongsyjames]

James closed his eyes as she ran a hand over his hair, but of all the things he felt at the moment, sleepy was not one of them. His brain was too busy trying to process the day to come, and while he knew getting some sleep would be the best thing to do, he wasn’t sure it would really happen. There were too many ‘what-ifs’ — too many possibilities. Lily sounded as though she was alright for the moment, but he didn’t want to bring it up again, because she needed sleep just as much as he did. Despite it all, though, he was glad she would be with him. Despite how much he wished she didn’t have to do this, and how much he wished she could just stay home, safe and out of the way, she was very capable of taking care of herself. If he could pick anyone to be on his side in a duel, she would definitely be one of them. With that in mind, he tried to coerce his mind into shutting down, briefly placing a kiss on her cheek and murmuring, “Goodnight.”

[dear-lilyevans-blog]

Lily barely slept that night. Other than dozing in and out of sporadic dreams, she spent most of the night staring up at the ceiling, watching the dancing shadows from the trees outside the window. It wasn't for lack of trying - she knew she needed the sleep - she just couldn't switch off her mind. So when the sun rose the next morning, she gave up trying to fall asleep and climbed out of bed, pulling on her dressing gown as she headed downstairs so as not to disturb James. After making herself a cup of tea, she curled up on the couch and picked up an old book to read, hoping that would at least take her mind off things. It worked for a while. A few chapters in, Lily noticed her eyelids getting heavy, and before she could find a more comfortable position, she fell asleep. The book slipped out of her hands and onto the floor, knocking over her empty teacup. 

[prongsyjames]

Yawning, he dragged a hand through his hair, his other arm wrapped around her waist as he led her up the stairs. They’d had enough time to dwell on the coming day; sleep was the only thing that would help them now. As they entered their room, he slid off his glasses, carefully putting them on the side table and taking off his shirt. A reddish blur told him Lily was already in bed, so he climbed in after her, pulling the covers up to keep warm. “Course it will. We’re prepared.” It was a moment before he replied to her, but he knew she needed the reassurance, just as much as he did. In a perfect world, she and James would stay home tomorrow evening, curled up much like they were tonight, without a war to worry about. But it was wishful thinking, and if they were right in the middle of the conflict, he would much rather stand up and fight than hide away, whatever the risk. “I love you, Lily.”

[dear-lilyevans-blog]

She waited for him to get comfortable, lying on her back and looking up at the ceiling. "Yeah," she nodded slightly and turned her head to look over at him, wishing she could see inside his mind. Although she usually had a pretty good idea what he was thinking or feeling as she was so attuned to him, tonight she couldn't help but wonder. Was he as worried as she was? More worried? Did he think about the possibility of them not returning home tomorrow night? Lily didn't doubt herself very often, and she knew James didn't either. On the Quidditch pitch, his confidence was palpable, as was hers any time she'd mastered a complex spell. But was he, as she was, wondering if perhaps this time confidence wouldn't be enough? She rolled onto her side and reached over to stroke his hair back, deciding it best to keep all those questions to herself. "I love you, too," she murmured distractedly. Perhaps it was thought of tomorrow, or the unfamiliar and uncomfortable feeling of being unsure of herself, but Lily felt disconnected. Maybe, she thought, it was her body's way of preventing her from breaking down in panic, or her natural tendency to hide her uncertainty, but she felt as though she was watching from far away. As though it wasn't her in bed beside James, but a hologram or ghost. At times like this she was grateful for James' terrible vision without his glasses, because there was not a doubt in her mind that, were he able to see her face clearly, he'd know the confidence in her voice was a lie.

[prongsyjames]

 Lily didn’t say anything, but he took her squeeze of the hand to mean yes, and nodded. Stretching his arms, and looking up at the ceiling, he tried not to think about the coming day, although he knew she was. James couldn’t come with any other reason as to why she would stay quiet. They’d drawn the conversation out long enough; the only thing to do now was get some sleep. Dwelling on it any more would just increase their anxiety, though he imagined it was already going to be quite difficult to fall asleep. “Come on, then.” Slipping his arm around her, he got up, pulling her with him. It was already very late — he was grateful they didn’t have classes or prefect meetings to go to in the morning. That meant they could spend as much time as they wanted curled up in bed. And James would be able to watch her sleep peacefully without the worry of needing to wake her. Though he wished things could be different for them, he was extremely grateful for the life that they already had, and the liberties it allowed. As he walked towards the door with her, he hoped their efforts to fight would make even the smallest difference between winning and losing.

[dear-lilyevans-blog]

As James pulled her up off the couch, Lily yawned, only then realising how tired she actually was. It was as though she could barely keep her eyes open all of a sudden, and she almost didn't think she'd even have the energy to walk up the stairs. She kept her arm around James as they walked, and as they reached the landing at the top of the stairs, Lily couldn't help but glance at the door which was closed on the empty spare room opposite their own. The room that would, someday, hopefully, belong to their child. Smiling faintly at this thought, she placed a kiss on James' cheek as they entered their own room, before dropping her arm from his waist to undress, eager to get into bed and warm up. At least, she thought, they would have the morning to themselves. They had nothing to do but lie around in bed until the afternoon when they'd have to start preparing themselves, and Lily was glad; they had to be well-rested for tomorrow night. She pulled the covers over herself as she slipped into bed, yawning widely once more, and she waited for James to join her. She loved curling up in bed with him, and she hoped he enjoyed it as much as she did. And tonight, more than most nights, Lily craved his presence beside her, not only to comfort her, but so that she could comfort him. She knew he was trying not to think about tomorrow night, but she still wanted to reassure him. "It'll be alright, won't it?" She knew he didn't know the answer to that any more than she did, but she also knew that James was not one to stand back and let them win. She wasn't entirely sure what it was about the way he said it, but she trusted him when he said things would be okay, and although she didn't like having to rely on anyone else to reassure her, tonight more than any other, she just wanted his reassurance once more.

[themarkofademigod]

Art (X)

[prongsyjames]

Lily always insisted that she loved him more than he loved her. Honestly, he didn’t think it possible. but he never really argued when it came up. She actually did love him, and that was all he cared about. She was here, sharing a couch with him — sharing a home with him. Soon, it would be a name. “I think I’m luckier.” With a small chuckle, he ran his hand over her hair, glad that he had the time to appreciate moments like this. As she closed her eyes, James was reminded of his own tiredness, and he tried to stifle a yawn. “We should probably go to bed soon, it’s been a long day.” He didn’t really want to, but at the same time, he knew they did need to be well-rested for the day to come. Thankfully, though, he didn’t feel quite as apprehensive about it as he’d done a little while earlier. Lily always made him feel safe, and comfortable. All he could think about now was how nice things would be once all the fighting was finally over. They wouldn’t have to worry any more — they could focus on living, and starting a family together. But the inevitable reality of it was that they would have to fight for that happiness, which meant tomorrow would be a significant turning point in their lives. Tomorrow, they would start fighting, out in the real world.

[dear-lilyevans-blog]

As she heard James rebut her argument once more, Lily grinned, but didn't say anything. She didn't really need to. Both her and James loved each other more than anything and neither would be convinced that they were wrong in this instance. Lily knew her efforts to prove him wrong were fruitless, and she didn't mind. Really, she only argued because of how much she enjoyed him telling her how much he loved her. She'd never tire of that. She felt his chest expand as a yawn escaped him, and she sighed softly, knowing that, although she desperately wished they could just stay here forever in each other's arms by the fire, they couldn't. Tomorrow wouldn't be a comfortable or cosy day. It wouldn't be romantic or special or peaceful or enjoyable. But it was important. They both knew that. They knew how dangerous fighting would be, but if they didn't do it, who would? For Lily, the light at the end of the tunnel was that soon James would be her husband. And if they fought hard enough, there would be a family. That was what kept her going - the life that, for now, was just out of reach for her and James. She wanted a world where their children could grow up without  care in the world. A world where she and James could grow old together. She nodded slightly as he mentioned going to bed, and she took his hand, rubbing it gently. The other side of all this, the side she didn't want to think about, was that every moment she spent with James could be her last. She hated thinking about that, of course, but it was a reality, and she had to face it. It was a war out there, and they were mere hours from fighting in it. There was no denying that they would be in unthinkable danger, and Lily didn't want to waste one single second with James in case something were to happen. She wanted to memorise every detail of him, because if the unthinkable happened and James were to be taken from her, she honestly didn't think she'd be able to go on without him. Going quiet as she tried to force those thoughts out of her mind, she didn't answer him, knowing he'd be able to tell from her voice. She squeezed his hand gently, picturing the life they could have - would have - just as soon as they were out of danger. 

[prongsyjames]

"Is that so?" Laughing, he set his bowl down too and rested a hand in her hair, comforted by the now-familiar weight on his chest. He found it quite difficult to believe, but at the same time, he knew how she felt. As much as he’d adored her before they got together, that love had increased ten-fold when they finally did. And it had only been increasing, the more he found out about her. There was just more of her to love, he felt. “I think you’ll find you’re wrong.” He rolled his eyes, shifting up to get more comfortable underneath her. Never had he believed anyone could love someone else half as much as he loved Lily — until now. “Because I love her quite a lot, you know. More than you can imagine.” James couldn’t wipe the grin off his face. He loved moments like this, quiet moments when they both talked complete rubbish to each other — when they both very clearly knew they were talking about Lily. Because there would never be any other girl like that in his life.

[dear-lilyevans-blog]

She smiled as she felt his warm hand in her hair, their position familiar and calming. Lily loved resting against his chest, where she could smell him and feel him and hear his soothing heartbeat. James was better than any pillow, and she loved even more when his hand moved through her hair. If a stranger were to look through the window and see them now, Lily doubted they'd have any idea tonight had been so difficult. Even to her it felt as though the hours that had passed were really days. James had that effect on her. He could take her mind off anything, which was quite a feat considering her mind was always consumed with something. But where others had tried and failed to distract her when her thoughts turned unpleasant, James always managed to clear her mind of everything except him. "Oh, I don't know..." She pressed a small kiss to his chest as she grinned, having known he'd argue with her. Of course, he was wrong, she thought. Not that she doubted even for a second that he loved her. She knew he loved her more than anything. But she loved him more than anything and, despite what he may have believed, she was convinced that he simply couldn't love her more than she loved him because... well, because he was James. And she was just Lily. Loved, yes. But nowhere near as special as he was. "She must be a very lucky girl," she closed her eyes, knowing that she was indeed very lucky. She was exhausted from tonight and in the back of her mind she thought of how nice sleep would feel. But she didn't want to sleep. Partly because that would mean that when she woke up would be the day they really put their lives on the line for the first time. But mostly because she was so incredibly relaxed and content like this and she didn't want to take a second of it for granted. 

[prongsyjames]

  “Oh, I don’t know, that’s a tough question. Lily Potter doesn’t have quite the same ring to it.” That was a blatant lie, and he was certain she could tell by the way he grinned foolishly that he loved the idea. James couldn’t think of anything in the world he’d ever wanted more — the fact that it was suddenly about to come true was almost too much for him. Lily Evans would always be the girl he’d fallen in love with, maybe, but Lily Potter would be his wife. He would be tied to her forever, and honestly, he couldn’t be happier about it. As he sat there, eating his icecream, thoughts crept into his head, of waking up to her every morning, and starting a family with her, and growing old with her. “It’ll be hard, loving a completely different girl, but I think I’ll manage,” he added with a smirk, poking her nose. “Will she love me? That’s the important question, I think.”

[dear-lilyevans-blog]

Lily mirrored his grin, knowing he was looking forward to her sharing his surname - she was, too. She rolled her eyes to let him know that he hadn't fooled her, although his expression told her that he didn't think he was anyway. She sighed heavily as she pretended to think carefully about his question. In actual fact, she knew she'd love him even more as time went on, if that was possible. It was overwhelming, at times, to think about how quickly things had progressed between them. It seemed like barely any time had passed since their first meeting when they were just eleven-years-old, and yet it also felt as though that first meeting was a lifetime ago. Now here they were, completely besotted with each other and about to be married. She felt like an entirely different person to eleven-year-old Lily Evans. "You know, I think she just might," she chuckled as she finally answered him. She placed her bowl down on the ground when she finished her ice cream, and shifted to rest her head against his chest, smiling faintly as she pictured what it would be like being married to James. "Actually, I think she'll love you even more than you could possibly love her," she closed her eyes, relaxed and content, feeling incredibly grateful to have found someone better than she could have ever dreamed of.

[prongsyjames]

  "You don’t?" he replied with a smirk. "I thought you loved being covered in ice-cream." Rolling his eyes, James curled up next to her and began to eat, the bowl a little more secure now. Despite the distraction of food, though, he couldn’t pull his eyes away from her, still finding it a little surreal that they were living in their own house. Things like this didn’t happen - they had always just been far-fetched dreams inside his head. “I love you too, Lily Evans.” He drew out the word a little, as though savouring the few moments left that it would hold true. She would be a Potter soon, and although he couldn’t wait for that day to arrive, Lily Evans would always be the girl he fell in love with. Slipping his arm around her waist, he looked over at the fire crackling in the grate, glad that they were able to spend a few moments together without thinking about what was going on outside their door. Their lives were far from normal - war was normal for them, now - but they had each other. For now, that was enough for him.

[dear-lilyevans-blog]

She felt a faint warmth in her cheeks as he looked at her so intently. She didn't get nervous around him - she never had. By the time she realised her feelings for him, she was so comfortable around him that she didn't have a reason to be nervous. But sometimes, occasionally even now, he'd look at her in such a way that she'd feel hundreds of hypothetical butterflies in her stomach and her cheeks would turn a rosy-pink colour. And the way he looked at her as he said her name - her full name, no less, which always made her smile coming from his lip - Lily could have sworn there were tens of thousands of butterflies in her stomach. She grinned at him, wondering what he was thinking, and then leaned over to peck his lips quickly, before starting to eat, the crackling of the fire ensuring the room didn't get too quiet. Those were the moments she lived for. For every time she had to hold back tears, there were ten times James made her smile. For every worry she had about the war, there were a hundred exciting thoughts about what her and James' future would hold. And for every time they had to leave the house and risk everything, there were whole nights of nothing but happiness in each other's arms. "I won't be Lily Evans for much longer," she smiled, nudging him as she teased, "Will you still love me then?" Taking another bite of ice-cream, she shifted closer to him, comfortable with his arm around her, and she sighed, extremely pleased with how the night had turned around. 

[prongsyjames]

  Smiling, and thinking that nothing could make their night better quite like a bowl of ice-cream, he got out a couple of spoons and picked up his bowl, slipping his arm around her waist. Things would be alright. Things were always alright with Lily. “Come on then,” he said, tugging her towards the couch in the next room. “I’ll start a fire in the grate and we can curl up for a little while.” James couldn’t help but try and scoop up some of the ice-cream one-handed before they sat down, and almost dropped the bowl with a grin. It was unreal to think that they could do this now, that they could eat ice-cream on the couch together whenever they wanted, without having to worry about school the next day. With the freedom, of course, came real life, and real worries, but right now, he knew they could afford to relax.

[dear-lilyevans-blog]

Lily kissed his cheek when she felt his arm wrap around her waist, chuckling as he pulled her out of the kitchen. She couldn't think of anything better than curling up next to the fire with James and  bowl of ice-cream. That, she thought, was her idea of a perfect night. However difficult things had been a few hours ago, getting to spend all night cuddling up cosily with James more than made up for it. Giggling when he almost dropped his ice-cream, Lily nudged him. "Try and hold back for a minute, I don't want to be all cold and sticky," she teased. As they sat down on the couch together, close enough that she almost didn't even need the fire to warm her, Lily kissed his cheek, thinking how lucky she was that they were able to have these nights. It struck her that it wasn't all that long ago that nights like this weren't possible. They never really had a lot of time to themselves at Hogwarts - at least not unless they snuck away. But this, Lily thought, was bliss. Their own home, where it was just them. Where they could spend a whole night in each other's arms with no-one to stop them. "Love you," she grinned, snuggling up even closer. Things might be scary and dangerous outside, but no-one could ever take this away from her. She would ever let it happen.

[prongsyjames]

"I’d love some," he replied, finally starting to feel a little better about the coming day, and what it would bring. Lily’s kiss had brought a smile to his face, as it usually did, and he nodded, somehow certain of the fact that they were going to be alright. Perhaps not today, or tomorrow, but they would be safe eventually. And they’d be able to have a normal life together, devoid of fear. That hope was the only thing that kept him going some days - the knowledge that this war couldn’t last forever. James was never one to stop until he got what he wanted, and he wasn’t going to let You-Know-Who and the Death Eaters stop him now. He would fight for as long as he had to, for himself, and for Lily. "Have we got any chocolate sauce left?" he asked, finishing his tea and getting up to go and look. He loved having nights like this, when they would get some ice-cream and curl up on the couch together. In those moments, nothing was wrong with the world.

[dear-lilyevans-blog]

She glanced over at him as she pulled the ice-cream out, the sight of his smile making her feel even better. It didn't matter if she was happy or not, she always managed to feel even better whenever she knew James was happy. Mostly, she supposed, because James being happy was what made her the happiest. She looked up at him as he asked, and she nodded, and she saw something in his face that made her suddenly feel firmly confident that they'd be okay - there was hope in his eyes. "Just enough for two bowls," she grinned as she poured the chocolate sauce over their ice-cream. In the space of only a few minutes, she'd gone from feeling ill with worry, to feeling as though she didn't have a care in the world. It was time to put all her worries behind her for tonight. They could worry tomorrow if need be, but not tonight. Tonight, Lily vowed to do her best not to think about tomorrow. Tonight, it was just her and James in the world.

[dear-lilyevans-blog]

prongsyjames:

She spoke with confidence, but neither of them were looking at each other, and he knew she was putting on a brave front. But he also knew that she was doing the same. Though they trusted each other immensely, being brave was something they were both so used to doing. Very rarely did he ever see her cry, and he did his best not to let her see when she was scared. In part, it was so they could protect each other, but a lot of it was pride. It was something they were both going to have to learn to let go of, though. “Yeah. I’m kinda glad we’re both going to be there, though. We’ll know where we both are.” James finished his tea and set down his mug as he spoke, yawning. Truly, he was a little glad she would be there. Even though he would rather she were at home, he knew it wouldn’t be much safer. He was always more relaxed when he was aware of where she was. Lily took away a lot of the stress that he felt when she was around. 

Although her mind was pounding with worry and fear, James' words calmed her for a moment when she realised that he was right: they'd both know where each other is all night. Her biggest fear was being separated from James, and it was comforting to know that they'd be together, so she wouldn't have to worry if he was alright. Of course, she knew it would by no means be relaxing, but at least she would have James by her side and she would be able to make sure he was safe. She nodded and smiled slightly at the thought of that, and then she stood up to lean across the table and kiss him. "Yeah," she replied as she sat down again. She'd been so tense all night that even one comforting thought felt like a weight being lifted off her shoulders, and she couldn't help but grin at him. "Do you want some ice cream?" James meant the world to her, and knowing that she was able to help him stay safe sent a surge of pride through her and, in her moment of sudden and somewhat out-of-place joy, she thought that just being with him was cause for celebration. After all, they weren't in any more danger than usual. Not yet, anyway.

[prongsyjames]

James took her hand in his, running his thumb across her palm, tracing invisible circles as he searched for words. Yes, the risk tomorrow would be minimal - but that didn’t mean there wouldn’t be a risk. But they knew that when they signed up for this, didn’t they? There would always be a risk, even when they weren’t on missions. “Probably,” he replied, staring into his mug. “But at least we’ll be there together, and there’ll be other people, so we won’t get too bored.” He tapped his fingers across the rim of his mug, knowing that they both knew that boredom was the least of their concerns. “I suppose I’m glad our first mission is sooner rather than later,” James continued, staring fixedly at his tea. “At least we get it over with.” Maybe the uneasiness he could feel in the pit of his stomach would go away after a while. Deep down, he knew that was a lie, but for now he could pretend to himself. Lily was not, after all, a little girl - she was perfectly capable of defending herself and he knew that. It was just difficult to accept that she would always be in danger, no matter where they were.

[dear-lilyevans-blog]

Lily nodded slightly, watching his thumb circle her palm, and she smiled faintly in spite of herself. Somehow, despite everything that was going on in her head at the moment, she couldn't help but wonder whether James' habit of playing with her hands in times of stress was a conscious one. Did he do it to comfort her? To comfort himself? Did he even realise he did it? Of course, it shouldn't have made her smile - she knew what it meant. Over time Lily had learnt that, however brave a face James put on, she could always tell if something was bothering him simply by this habit he was seemingly unaware of. Whenever news had come through that the Death Eaters had murdered again, it was James who would comfort Lily, but it was those nights where she would feel his hand curl around hers as they both feigned sleep. And now, as they sat opposite each other in near silence, she realised he must have been just as scared as she was. They were both too proud to admit it, of course, but Lily hoped that her presence was as comforting to him as his was to her. She swallowed as she looked up at him again, nodding in agreement and she tucked some of her hair behind her ear. She knew he wasn't fooled in the slightest by her mention of boredom, but she was glad they understood each other well enough that they didn't need to spell out exactly how they were feeling. However, tonight it felt like that was exactly what they should be doing, so she swallowed the lump in her throat that had been preventing her from speaking, knowing that keeping things to themselves wouldn't make it any easier. "Me too," she agreed as James spoke the words in her mind. "I suppose the first time is the hardest. It might get easier." It would never get easier, and she knew it. Especially not once the Death Eaters realised they were fighting directly against them. She was already at risk, and she hadn't lessened that at Hogwarts by pretending to be anything other than repulsed by what they were doing. And James had been equally vocal about his opinion of them, and was, in their eyes, a blood traitor. Not that either of them had known at the time how serious things were. Lily supposed that all they could do for now was to fight as hard as they could. Luck and hope weren't enough any more, but she and James, as well as the rest of the Order, were determined to win this war and they would never back down. She wasn't naive enough to believe that good always trumps evil like in the fairy tales she grew up reading, but Lily knew that every single person at the meeting tonight would be willing to give their life for the cause and she thought that maybe, just maybe, they really did have a fighting chance. 

[prongsyjames]

James took his mug and thanked her quietly, sitting down to take a few sips. It was late, and he was exhausted, but he didn’t think sleep would be very easy tonight. First time for everything, he thought. Tomorrow would be their very first official mission. Their very first step on the long road to victory. Because there was no other option. The war had to end with them defeating You-Know-Who. Their lives depended on it. Setting down his mug, he chanced a look up at her, sighing. The silence was pressing in on him from all sides, suffocating him. Bringing up the subject again wasn’t exactly something he was looking forward to, but it needed to be done. He wasn’t going to take any chances; if she showed any sign of hesitation, James would refuse to let her go the next day. “We should maybe talk about the elephant in the room then, eh?” he asked. As he spoke, he scratched at an invisible spot on the counter, almost afraid of what those words might bring up. 

[dear-lilyevans-blog]

Lily didn't sit down immediately, somehow feeling as though she needed to be standing, as though an attacker could walk though the door at any second, and she had to be ready. She drummed her fingers on the side of her mug and looked down at her tea, watching the sugar dissolve into it. Starting slightly in surprise as James spoke, Lily finally sat down opposite him and nodded, knowing he was right. "Yeah," she murmured, managing a small smile for his sake. "I guess so." She looked down again, searching her mind for words, for anything even vaguely helpful or supportive she could say to him. As she bit her lip thoughtfully, she traced the rim of her mug with one finger, then looked up at James again, reaching over the table for his hand. "Dumbledore said it wasn't likely they'd even be there... It'll probably be pretty boring, won't it?" she chuckled dryly, trying to convince herself more than anything. Up until tonight she'd been certain they were doing the right thing. In fact, there were very few things she'd ever been more sure of. She hoped James couldn't see how worried she was - though she knew, of course, that he always seemed to know what she was thinking and how she was feeling - because she knew that would only make him worry more as well. She knew he'd never make her do anything she didn't want to, so she would just have to convince him, as well as herself, that she was ready for this. She knew they were doing the right thing - she had no interest in backing down and letting the other side win. She'd just have to ignore the nagging feeling in the pit of her stomach. 

[prongsyjames]

  James could barely comprehend the enormity of the situation as he followed her inside, taking off his cloak. Neither of them really knew anything about the Order at all, fresh out of school as they were, and now, suddenly, they were expected to go on a mission. Tomorrow. Sure, it was fairly low-profile, scouting through Diagon and Knockturn Alleys, but there was always danger involved these days. Especially with Lily. He hoped she wasn’t on the Death Eaters’ radar, but even if she wasn’t, they could find out easily enough. It would only be a matter of time. Bringing his mind back to the present, he nodded slowly, trying not to look too deep in thought. “Tea sounds great,” he replied, rubbing his hands together. With a sigh, he ran a hand through his hair and trudged through to the kitchen, still finding it difficult to believe they already had their own house. It hadn’t been too difficult, and his parents had helped to sort most of it before they’d even left school, but it was still incredible. His own house. With Lily Evans. Who would soon be Potter. In different circumstances, he might have been perfectly content with his life.

[dear-lilyevans-blog]

Lily didn't turn around when she heard James enter the kitchen, focusing on making their teas to avoid having to talk about tomorrow. She was frustrated at herself for being scared. She'd wanted to do anything she could to help, but now that she'd been given the opportunity, she was scared. She wasn't scared for herself, though. She knew she would likely become a target for the Death Eaters if she wasn't already, but she'd come to terms with that a long time ago. Lily was far more concerned for James. She couldn't bear the thought of anything happening to him, especially if it was her fault. James was fiercely protective of her, and whilst she loved him for it and appreciated it, she hated the idea that he'd get hurt - or worse - trying to protect her. Even though tomorrow night's mission was relatively low-risk, there was still a chance, however slight, of something happening. She tried to block that thought out of her head, wishing for tomorrow night to be over so they could both relax. As she passed him his mug, she smiled slightly. No matter how bad things got, or how scared they were, she and James would soon be married and she thought that maybe, for tonight at least, that was all that mattered.

[prongsyjames]

Carrying his robes over his shoulder, he shrugged, leading her by the hand down the stairs. “You’ll see,” he replied, straightening his glasses. It was one of those rare, sunny days, and the sunlight was glinting off the water as they reached the boathouse. Stuffing his robes and his cloak into his bag, he wandered inside, looking up at the wooden boats hanging up near the ceiling, covered in canvas. He put his bag down and kissed her cheek, rolling up his sleeves. “I thought we might take one of these out. You ever done it before?” Smirking, he pulled out his wand and lowered one of the boats, letting it hit the water before pulling off the cover. “No one’ll see us, and it’s a nice day.”

[dear-lilyevans-blog]

As they walked inside their door, Lily remained silent. She hadn't spoken since they'd left the meeting, but her brain hadn't stopped. She knew, when she and James joined the Order, that it require a great deal of effort and sacrifice, but she hadn't really put all that much thought into it until they were given all the details. She assumed that they'd more or less be there to help come up with ways to protect people - at least for now, while they were still so new. She looked over at James and reached for his hand, wondering if he was thinking about it as much as she was. She'd wanted to fight and she was willing to do anything she could to help, but she wasn't expecting Dumbledore to tell them they were to go off on a mission tomorrow night. Surely that was much too soon - they barely even knew what they were doing. But... as much as she was eager for the opportunity to contribute and to fight... well, they weren't even married yet, for Merlin's sake. Lily thought that they'd have at least a little time to themselves and they'd be able to plan the perfect wedding and maybe even start a family in the not-too-distant future. They'd spent so much time talking about how perfect things would be once they left school and how much time they'd have to themselves that she wasn't quite sure how she felt about being thrown right into the deep end of the war. Unable to make sense of her thoughts and wanting to keep both of their minds off what tomorrow would bring, Lily broke the silence. "Tea?" she offered, trying to keep her voice casual.

[dear-lilyevans-blog]

Christmas: Part 1

“Merry Christmas…” James whispered into her hair. Lily was still asleep. James hadn’t been awake for long, but he had chosen not to wake Lily straight away. He couldn’t help but look at her, touch her, smell her. Her hair was all over her face, which had been pressed against his neck when he woke. He rubbed her bare back, taking his time to appreciate how soft her skin was – there certainly hadn’t been time for that last night. He kissed her forehead and brushed some of her hair back from her face so he could look at her properly. He loved to watch her sleep, and this morning especially he was happy just to watch her, her face peaceful, her hair tangled from where his hands had been last night, her body unclothed and pressed against his. James loved mornings with Lily and, although he was perfectly content just watching her, he wanted to hear her voice, so he brushed his lips very lightly over her closed eyelids and then down to her lips, murmuring, “Lil?”

“Mm?” she mumbled in reply, her eyelids only twitching. James smiled.

“Don’t you want your presents?”

Lily smiled, seeming more awake.

“Presents?”

“It’s Christmas. Jeez, Evans, you haven’t forgotten Christmas, have you?” James teased.

No,” Lily smirked, opening her eyes. “And it’s Potter, thank you very much.”

James laughed, kissing her. “Whatever. Here.” He summoned a pile of presents, letting them drop onto her lap. Lily grinned, but looked up at him with a glint in her eyes.

“We can’t open them here!” she laughed, pulling on her dressing gown to cover herself when she’d gotten up from bed. “We have to open them under the Christmas tree.”

James laughed, but grinned as well, not arguing. Apart from the fact that he didn’t dare argue with her anyway, he knew how much she loved Christmas traditions. After pulling on a pair of boxers, James loaded Lily’s wrapped presents into his arms and followed her downstairs where a pile of presents sat under the tree, each of them neatly wrapped with ribbons tied around them: James’ presents from Lily. He sat her presents under the tree with his as she made them each a cup of tea and them came to sit with him, both of them smiling widely, ecstatic about their first Christmas together - really together. In their own house, where they could spend all day just lying around together, something that just wasn't possible when they were at Hogwarts. Well, they could until both sets of parents as well as some of their friends came around for dinner, at least.

“Open this one first,” Lily beamed, handing James one of the presents. He kissed her on the cheek and grinned, starting to tear into the wrapping eagerly.