Welcome to Wonderland

I'm Camilla. I have ADHD and since we all need them lables, I'm just going to say that I don't fucking know. Sexually fluid or some shit. I write stories and daydream a lot.

[masturblainrs]

Should i start tumblring again?

[incorrectsterekquotes]

isaac: Synonyms are weird because if you invite someone to your cottage in the forest, that sounds nice and cozy, but if I invite you to my cabin in the woods, you’re going to die.

erica: My favourite is ‘butt dial’ VS ‘booty call’.

stiles: Also ‘forgive me father, for I have sinned’

stiles, smirking at derek: VS ‘sorry daddy, I’ve been naughty’.

boyd: Great news, language is now cancelled!

[masturblainrs]

Life hurts and I’m sick of it.

[memescomedy]

[babyanimalgifs]

It was love at first sight

[ruinedchildhood]

[masturblainrs]

What is going on with my ability to remember stuff?

I remember plans. I remember things people have told me about themselves. I remember quotes and plot in books and movies well.

I do not remember what was said on the phone at work, as soon as i hang up. I don’t remember already having told someone the same story thrice before. And i certainly do not remember what i had for dinner last week.

[protectspock]

Loving the idea of earth cryptids/folklore monsters being real only the humans have no idea until after first contact.

[protectspock]

Vulcans: Our scientists have questions about the small nocturnal portion of your population that drinks blood and appears virtually immortal. Is there a name for this sub-species?

Humans: THE WHAT?!?!?

[masturblainrs]

Drift me, Daddy.

[masturblainrs]

End me, Senpai

[pinkmanthedog]

What are your best animal training fails?

Mine:

- when I was teaching my dog Pinkman to boop she thought she was getting food for hitting her head on things so for like two full weeks she ran around indiscriminately smashing her face into walls and furniture and then asking for a treat

- trying to teach my baby horse Nugget to bow but now he’s just constantly checking his armpits for food

[securityunit-ese]

A dog that can open fridges

[followthebluebell]

Almost every trick my cat has learned has been mutated and used for evil purposes.

Training him to sit means he sits on my feet whenever I’m carrying food.  I have tripped over him.  A lot.  He especially loves plopping his ass on my feet as I open the fridge. 

Platform?  Oh shit, that just means he learned how LEDGES work and now he treats the entire house like his own personal platforming video game.  I had to re-arrange the kitchen to move the chairs further from the counters.

High five?  He repeatedly smacks my hand if I’m holding food, because he assumes that’s the same thing as a high five.

The ultimate result of scent-training was that he hunted down the box I kept scented things in and tore it apart.  I MEAN, I GUESS THAT’S THE SPIRIT OF THE GAME BUT STILL.

So far, teaching him to jump through a hoop has been harmless, but I’m still concerned.

[fractiousrvt]

Teaching my dog how to spin short circuited her brain. She spins over, and over, and over, and over when excited.

Food excites her.

Training excites her.

I have been unable to teach her anything since I taught her how to spin, because she gets excited and... spins.

[honey-wheat]

my sister taught her service dog to pick up her shoes and hand them to her.

every time she drops them on the floor to put them on he’ll pick it back up and this will loop for like 5 minutes

[pinkmanthedog]

The notes on this are endlessly entertaining

[animal-welfare-not-animal-rights]

I was trying to train my last dog as a service dog and was therefore teaching her to do tasks for me while I was in the wheelchair. One of these things was ‘opening doors’, which is all well and good and a useful skill for her to have.

Except...she absolutely refused to learn to close them again. Utterly refused. Did not see the point to doing that. She, in fact, became adamant that all doors should forever be open from that point onwards. No room in the house was allowed to have a closed door ever again. If I got up to close a door she would just get up and open it again. If I went to the toilet and locked the bathroom she would stand outside trying the handle over and over again and occasionally howling about the fact that her magic trick had stopped working.

The only thing that saved us from her opening the front door and escaping was that it used a knob rather than a handle.

....my dad’s house, which contained a total of 3 dogs when I brought mine round there, was not so lucky.

[elvenferretots]

I taught TenSoon to turn off lights. He’s a sport dog, not a service dog, but why have a smart house when you have a doberman? Right? Wrong. He has quickly figured out that I need light to read. And that he can end this dog-ignoring activity by turning off the light and bopping the doorknob to ask to go out. I now read by lamp.

My best ferret stories were all things I accidentally trained. Hobbes knew how to get attention via WiFi router. He once accidentally unplugged it, and it summoned everyone right to him. He never forgot. If we ever ignored him too long, he would mosey up to it and wait, like a cat. If that didn’t work, he would unplug it and wait for someone to notice. He was of the conviction that negative attention was better than no attention, so the roommate holding him up and yelling “come get your ferret!” was great reinforcement.

[junskitchen]

[masturblainrs]

Calling all people with medical knowledge. Halp

Hi! I’m writing a story and I have a question, if anyone would be so kind and if anyone has any knowledge on the matter. The thing is, say, i have this character who is duelling another character. With swords. Imagine that this one character has done some really bad shit, right? And this third person keeps being kind and forgiving him and he can’t live with what he’s done. So they duel and he may or may not intetionally let the other character back him into a corner. SO! The question is. If this character has his back against a tree and a sword pointed at his chest. Would it be possible for him til fling himself at the sword in order til kill himself? And would it actually kill him to be pierced by the sword? How long would it take?

[turing-tested]

whats that one fetish called where you and your partner mutually respect and care about each other very much

[bester-jester]

love

[turing-tested]

kinky! i like it

[masturblainrs]

Omg Mary.. why? John no.. please John. Don't 😭

[thelatestkate]

my therapist taught me to start thinking of my anxiety as my panicky friend

it’s working???

[gobeautiful]

this is so cute omg

[usagimaree]

Woah this is super useful!!

[lupusdraconis]

For all my anxious friends out there.

[professorfangirl]

This totally works! Some of us get stuck in the sense that we *are* our emotions, so they overwhelm us and we can’t do anything about them. When you give your emotion an identity separate from you, it gives you the distance to make better judgments about it, and to comfort yourself better. 10/10 therapy veterans would recommend.

[inqamor]

To the very best times, John.

[sherlockspurpleshirtofsmexy]

The way John’s head looks down at Sherlock’s hand as if he wasn’t expecting such a small gesture.