Todayās not a good day for me. Sage represents light, positivity, self love, strength... why do I highlight these things? Because I too struggle keeping these things alive. I personally understand how hard it is so Iām here to help push each other in those directions. I am hope to many people, and I myself struggle to keep hope...
Today someoneās pain is triggering my own. Someone very close to me, who has also hurt me in the past. Iām an empath and I feel things deeply. I am in the middle of grieving for this persons sadness, and also dealing with my own anger because of this persons actions which have personally left scars. Yeah my brain gets in a knot sometimes but my intentions have always been pure and from a place of Love, so I hurt in a place of innocence.
I am having a human experience, I make mistakes. I have made mistakes in the past that I live with today and I wish I had a way of healing those I hurt. I added fire to past situations when I shouldāve added water. I didnāt know how to deal with the emotions at the time. I lashed out in defense towards my own feelings which I now understand was selfish. Today I was reminded of those mistakes which caused a memory time line to take place in my mind and here I am in a funk. Isnāt it weird how when youāre reminded of the past while youāre trying to go, it messes with you?
Iām not a cruel person, I had real reasons why I did what I did. The important thing is that I will never let someone get to me so much in which I act out that way again.
Most the time we hurt others because we are hurt, and it all stems from this long cycle. What gets to me the most is my journey. Although I am proud of where I no longer am, I know that if I were further in my purpose I could help more. If I were given more power in my purpose, I could heal wounds Iāve caused and that others have caused on the people I love. I also know if I were further in my purpose I would be more distracted from the wrong forces pulling me down. All I want is to be so busy working on the world, my family and myself that I wonāt have time to worry about things that donāt serve me. I knew when I began my mission, I knew I was signing up for trial and tribulations. However, I have suffered so much emotionally and physically, I had no idea it would be to this extent... sacrificing, hurting, fighting...
All Iām after in the end is happiness. True happiness... it seems like there is so much in the way of that. I am SO grateful for the glory of God in my life... without him Iād be nothing. But I just canāt seem to run away from sadness... seeing my loved ones depending on me, helplessly judging me because well, why am I taking long?... Why are there so many ups and downs?Ā
The pressure mixed with the struggle tied in with the mistakes and the neglect can take a toll on you and we have to remind ourselves to how important self-love, acceptance and forgiveness is.
For those hurting right now, Iām here with you... hurting too. My life might look like a fairytale to you, but Iām just like you.Ā
Letās help each other get through these times. Letās pray for each other. Universe bless the specific person on my mind who is in pain today. It has triggered mine, so bless me too. Bless all of us...who havenāt gave up.
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