7th Grade pt 1
Alex is everything. Best friend, sister, other half, and only one who understands the real you. You thought you brought her down but time after time sheâs there for you through it all. She tries to teach you the importance of education but unfortunately you donât pay any attention. Not because you donât care about her or what she has to say. Youâre just being tormented by something deeper than just âI gotta ace this text.â Youâre seeing your classmates changing arenât you? The energy in the room feels thicker than ever with everyone seemingly trying to find their way and place in the world. Clicks are forming and it kind of makes you feel left out doesnât it? Yes, you have Alex, but inside you are screaming, âWhy canât anyone else love me the way she does? I donât try to be so mean, annoyed, or angry but Iâm just so passionate about belonging to a bigger group that I donât know how else to channel all this emotion!âÂ
The âtwinsâ are becoming the powerhouse of the class. They are nice to your face but itâs like you can see right through their masks. Kind of as if you were wearing one of your own? So you can see it as well sort of thing. Unfortunately, in your anger and fear (of retaliation if you stand up for yourself) you direct it verbally to RW and CS. They didnât deserve that from you. They needed the love you were naturally born with to help them through their first year. Just like you did. Iâm being stern with you so you can see from both sides and perspectives dearest Gina. So you can learn and grow.Â
You were doing the best you could in this stage of your life. All this anger is so so burdensome. You see the stress in your face and bags under your eyes even in your school picture. But no one else sees this. How much the judgement is overtaking you. Classmates laughing at your expense just to either be dicks or because thy were hiding their own self hatred in the words they spat on you. Even now you learn to pay extreme close attention to body language. Youâre learning how impactful a shift in posture, a look in the eyes, and hand movements REALLY tell the story of what someone says. And you realize we all lie. Big or small we all wear masks to hide who we truly are. The need to feel accepted is instinctual my darling girl. It doesnât mean youâre weak at all for wanting this connection. You are actually ahead of your time recognizing this! Look how smart you are! Look and feel how much love you have and want to give to people! What a beautiful soul you have.Â
...to be continued











