❝ ⠀ⁿᵃᵐⁱⁿᵉ ? ⠀❞

𝘸𝘩𝘰 𝘪𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵?

[dearlybeloves]

𝗜'𝗠 𝗡𝗢𝗧 𝗥𝗘𝗔𝗟𝗟𝗬 𝗛𝗘𝗥𝗘 ⠀… ⠀i'm only the shape o̲f̲ ̲ t̲h̲e̲ ̲ e̲m̲p̲t̲i̲n̲e̲s̲s̲ ̲ t̲h̲a̲t̲ ̲ h̲o̲l̲d̲s̲ ̲ m̲e̲.

──── ⋅ ʚ ♡ ɞ ⋅ ────

a horror based multimuse for 𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐝𝐨𝐦 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐬 ╲ examining love in all its forms, heart vs mind vs body vs soul, morality with its varying shades, & more. beloved by naminé, twenty-one, he / they / it. aesthetics sideblog. ⤷ select a heart?

𝚠𝚊𝚗𝚍𝚎𝚛𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚠𝚘𝚛𝚕𝚍𝚜 𝚠𝚒𝚝𝚑 ... heartslight, ategod, sunhalf. ♡ bonds between the stars.

one. standard rp etiquette applies. don’t be a freak, don’t be weird, we’ll be fine. two. triggers will be tagged as “ __ / ” and i ask that the following be tagged: animal abuse, images of realistic gore, and insects. three. my muse list is constantly changing, and im sorry for how long it is. i add characters at the drop of a hat. please speciy muses when interacting. i have no dupe anxiety! four. i am pro-callout as long as it’s substantial; i will tag them as “ callout / ” . if someone i interact with has a history of awful behavior, please tell me. five. dni if you support / write / write with people who like attack on titan, hetalia, think the rising sun earrings in demonslayer are okay and won’t properly edit them out, etc. i’m not above blocking you if i eventually find out. as someone whose family was a victim of japanese imperialization, this is important to me.

[destinedplace]

me sparks and nams have created the most insanely toxic yozosostrel dynamic possible and by god kh4 cant take it from us

[destinedplace]

@dearlybeloves / yozora & strelitzia

Strelitzia doesn't feel very many emotions. Or, she hadn't, before Sora joined their shared prison. A too - small cage, and the newest inhabitant hasn't learned the rules yet. The part of Strelitzia that should have died in the dark little room, reaching for sun and not getting it, hopes he never has to. The part of Strelitzia that grew from the corpse wishes for something else.

Sora is so warm and still so alive. Maybe that's why she's feeling again. Why she's wanting again. It's so petulant, pedestrian, this jealousy in her gut. It's concern, too, yes, and anger, yes, that too, for Sora's sake, because Yozora is violent with Sora. He breaks the boy again and again. But above all of that, it's envy. It isn't fair. Yozora has been her jailer longer.

She doesn't — quite — touch his face, her small hand hovering an inch from his cheek, but it's enough to get the pale - haired man to look at her. Green eyes — rot today, not growth — are wide and pale bottomless. "Yozora," she says softly. He's been her jailer for longer. Why does Sora get more? "Don't —— give him more than you give me. It's not fair."

[dearlybeloves]

fair── yozora almost laughs. is there anything fair about this? the cage, the muzzle. the man they're all trapped under. if the world was fair, they wouldn't be here in the first place. but yozora simply stares at her, not quite leaning into her fingers but feeling the ghost of them all the same. there── a little light. more than the kindness and incorporeality that she exists in between.

( i need to snuff it out, he thinks, before it causes trouble. )

❝ give him what? ❞ he presses, takes a single step closer. he knows, in a sense; she's seen the aftermath of it. yozora wonders if she'd helped in any way, picked the crystals off of him, scrubbed him clean of blood. it'd make sense. it'd be something she'd do. maybe she thinks she can shield sora from the worst of it. maybe she thinks she can stop his deterioration. ❝ you want me to hurt you? ❞

( a moment, then, to think. has he ever hurt her before? he's been too much, of course, and he's the one keeping her in this cage. but he doesn't hurt her like he does sora / doesn't need to, in a sense / there was never any fear of her running. is there, now? is he at fault? his gums ache for the fight. no good, it'd be no good── but strelitzia is important enough to be caged. he kind of wants to see why. )

[sunhalf-a2]

DIDN'T WANT YOU TO FIND OUT / I KNOW, I KNOW, her teeth grit, she doesn't realizing she's doing exactly what she once broke his nose for —— doesn't realize she's replacing the Riku she knows and loves with a simpler creature in her head. He replaced headstrong, willful Kairi with a fragile princess. She's replacing kind, protective, gentle Riku with — what? Not a monster, but —— she wouldn't leave him, she's not sure she CAN, but she had the right to know, how could he deny her the autonomy of a choice ( even one with a forgone conclusion ) again? How could he ———

( selfish, selfish, selfish girl. )

DIDN'T WANT YOU TO KNOW ABOUT THE UGLIEST PARTS OF ME. Her head ducks. That she understands. Riku has seen her so weak / so pathetic / so hurt that he couldn't see Kairi past Kairi's pain. Kairi can't see Riku past Riku's. Her hands press to her face / Xion's face / Naminé's face.

"I'm sorry," she says, rote, robotic, still not looking at him, hands wrapping around herself. "I'm sorry you couldn't — trust me with it. I just ———" THEY HAVE MY FACE / THEY LOOK LIKE ME / THEY LOOK LIKE ME. Not enough to grieve Xion and Naminé's suffering, she has to make about her. But she could never kill someone with Riku's face — not even for Sora. "I just — I wouldn't leave. I love you, no matter what you've done, but I —" A breath. "They look like me," she whispers, almost without meaning to, selfish, selfish, selfish, sorry excuse for a princess.

[dearlybeloves]

@destinedplace : i love you, no matter what you've done. riku sucks in a breath at that, a horribly nauseating sound, wet and gasping. it hurts to hear. it's all he's ever wanted. when had they grown so apart, that the confirmation is enough to ruin him? he stands before her now and feels like he doesn't deserve to hear them.

❝ ... i know, ❞ he says finally. he sits down next to her, drawing his knees to his chest. but he's looking at her, properly. ( seeing her for the first time in years. ) here, she looks ... she's just kairi. he's not seeing her reflection in others, nor is he── looking at just her pain. it hits him, then; he doesn't know her at all anymore.

( when was the last time he saw her so tired? she's been angry at him before, miserable, he's seen that. he's even seen her dead and dying. but she scrubs at her eyes and draws herself in and riku realizes it's something unfamiliar, and that── hurts. just a bit. does he even remember the curve of her smile? he wants to. he thinks he does── the blurry image of it, maybe. but it's so easy to slot naminé or xion in her place, too.

... when was the last time he let himself see her? )

❝ i'm a bad friend, ❞ he says. it's quiet, overlapped with the soft crash of waves. ❝ i thought that, 'cuz they weren't actually you ... it was fine. ❞ and that hurts too, doesn't it? he'd figured out naminé's tricks quickly enough. he saw kairi in xion once then never again. but only because they weren't her, considered them less than her── that's awful too, isn't it? ❝ i told myself they were just using your face. ❞

riku grimaces but he doesn't turn away, no mater how much he wants to. ❝ sometimes, i hate── having a keyblade. i wish i never got it. all i do with it is hurt people. hurt you. but with people like ... like aqua, like sora ... i think it's just me. i think i've just always been── cruel. i've only ever been cruel to you. ❞ and to people who look like you. ❝ but i love you. i really do. i wish i loved you better. ❞

[heartslight]

it's starting to burn. sora hasn't looked away from the point where the sun would be disappearing into, has been fighting against the natural instinct to blink — simply out of fear. fear that it would disappear / fear that if he were to look away, the illusion would shatter. the yozora silhouette beside him was already enough to make his heart race, providing a sort of warmth that was almost crueler than the lies.

the incoming tears offer relief against the irritation, but at the cost of now blurry vision. sora loses sight of the horizon and fear begins to take hold, has panic settling too familiarly within his veins until —— not-yozora squeezes his hands. calls his name. welcomes him.. home? broken gaze finally turns to the stranger at his side, and there, sora sees — the horizon. ❛ this is real? ❜

[dearlybeloves]

his heart breaks. riku wishes he was better at comfort, at being more than a half-hidden anchor that supports others. he's trying, now, as he raises sora's hand to press a kiss to the back of it. ❝ this is real, ❞ he affirms, holding sora's gaze. ( there's a tenderness there, like he can't look away, more than fear / more like love. ) it's not that he can't bear to look away. there's a residual ache, like he's scared sora will disappear, but riku── simply doesn't want to.

he shifts again, his touch gentle as he moves sora's fingers and splays sora's hand over his chest. to feel the steady beat of his heart, ba-bump, ba-bump, ba-bump── even if it picks up, just a little, at the touch. ( sora's just always had that effect on him. ) ❝ i'm real, ❞ riku promises. ❝ we brought you home, sora. ❞

[dearlybeloves]

yozora has a heartbeat, but it's not ... normal. a regular human will have a heartbeat around 60-100bpm. yozora's heart rate is around 15bpm, but goes to around 30bpm in battle. it's just low enough that you'll worry that you'll never hear another beat. the reason has something to do with his current form── since it's not what he actually looks like, it's more of a shell. it keeps him tethered to quadratum / the master of masters, reminds him that he's just barely human, and is just another thing alienating sora from the world he knew.

[sunhalf-a2]

"Yeah. I was here, before, in my old body, but — but I think this new one must be better, because the colours are so much brighter. And the sounds, the water on the beach — it all sounds more real, too." She bends, searching for shells in the sand. It doesn't feel real / is it really all right for me to exist? / it feels like something that will be taken away, eventually — another something she'll be made to give up for the sake of people more real. Naminé sentenced her to death, once, however gently. It's hard not to wonder if she'd do it again / it's harder, to know the answer with such certainty. But Naminé was sentenced to death, too.

The girl smiles wider, head craning to look over her should at the girl she was built to love. "Maybe I just feel more real in this body, so it's easier for everything else to feel, real, too. Have you been in the water? It's really nice, even if it's just your toes."

[dearlybeloves]

@destinedplace : the truth is that, despite all of naminé's strings, despite all of her planning ( or contributions to ) ── she is afraid. this newfound body, this gifted shell, contains so, so much fear. for herself, of others. it's nauseating, sometimes. unfortunately, she does not know how to let any of it show, joining xion and drawing closer to the seashore. ❝ i haven't, yet. i've── ❞

( penance, perhaps. she does not know if she should be on this island in the first place, after all she's done, afraid that if she breathed too loudly── stepped too recklessly── that it would swallow her up. sometimes she looks at xion and thinks that she'd do the same. that, at least, she's not afraid of. )

❝ ── i've never been on destiny islands before, ❞ she finally admits, finishing her half finished sentence from before. naminé's voice is soft as she crouches next to xion. ❝ i wasn't allowed to ... ❞ a finger runs through the wet sand, the grittiness of it── she doesn't mean to flinch away as the ocean brushes against it. ❝ then i just ... never had the time. ❞

[hawberries]

it’s a vow we make to each other; let’s wear rings of the same colour 

[image is a digital painting of riku, kairi, and sora getting married, all clutching starry bouquets and with matching expressions of joy and delight. kairi is jumping with her arms around her boys’ shoulders, holding her bouquet over her head; her dress is pink, with a wave pattern. sora is a dark suit with a red bowtie and cloud patterns on his lapels. riku is in a silver suit with a blue tie, and he’s reaching around the both of them to clasp sora’s shoulder.]

[dearlybeloves]

@grotesks, unprompted : ❝ roxas── think fast. ❞ and then, truly, before there is time to think── a feather-light kiss is placed on his cheek, her fingers finding and intertwining with his.

it's easy── well, as easy as dying-then-coming-back could be. twilight town is full of a mix of memories that roxas doesn't know what to do with, sometimes. a town full of family who don't know him; his grave, lying in an abandoned manor on the outskirts of the city; the site of his many ‘ firsts ’ . some days are easier than others, when he's not choking on his rage and fighting to play nice / when the weight of his memories don't strain him with their sadness.

it's easiest with xion.

❝ wh── hey! ❞ he laughs, something as bright as the sun── it's just so easy to squeeze her hand, each digit and bone pressed against each of hers. i know you, i remember you, all in one simple gesture. roxas turns to her, he follows after her like he always does. ( the fact that he can isn't something he takes for granted anymore. ) ❝ no fair, xion, i wasn't ready! ❞ when she laughs at him, eyes sparkling with mirth, it really does feel like he can do anything.

( what a hard-won happiness. what a fight to to survive, to exist── what had they done to deserve that? to have to prove that they had the right to do so. but here, hand pressed against her hand, heart entrusted to her heart: there's nothing else that matters except xion. there's no one else who'd understand except her. )

it's why he leans forward, pulls her closer, presses his own kiss to her cheek. i know you, i remember you. all in one simple action.

[tidentity]

* @dearlybeloves: ❝ here, xion. ❞ it’s only a small gesture; it feels like they’ve done it a million times before. roxas hands her a small, thalassa shell he’d picked up from the sand, still gritty in some places ⅋ soaked in salt water. but it’s── there. it’s real. ❝ for you. ❞ / unprompted.

she often finds herself drifting between real &. make - believe, between ghost &. girl. most days, she knows the difference — she knows what she is and she knows who she is. logic, of course, only goes so far when a newly formed heart is still such a fragile thing ( strange, then, how it feels so heavy! she wonders if she will ever grow used to the weight of her heart &. the burden it brings ). roxas helps. these little moments help; the ones where she is surrounded by every other person who has fought &. earned their hard - won heart. before she can get caught in the war of her own mind, she reaches out to take the shell as if it's been done countless times before ( and, really, hasn't it? they both have quite the history with these shells ).

the texture of sand and salt is familiar — for her, this time, and not just a fabricated memory — and so she holds tight to it. the pad of her thumb runs against the shell, and the grit of sand grounds her.

the significance is not lost on her; she'd left countless for him when he'd been comatose &. she had left one as a final goodbye. this time isn't a goodbye; to xion, it signifies something better, something kinder — a new start, perhaps. or a continuation of where they'd left off before the world had cut what could have been between them short.

the hand not gripping the shell reaches out to find his. their fingers intertwine and this, too, is something grounding. real. roxas is real. xion is real. the sound of the ocean and the merriment of the others nearby... all real. right now, she isn't lost or drifting or a ghost. right now she exists in this moment, with him.

❝ thank you, ❞ she says after a long moment. the hand holding his squeezes ever so slightly. maybe it's silly, to thank him for so simple a gesture. but she holds the shell as careful as anything and holds his hand tighter. ❝ will you help me find more? i think i'd like to make something out of them, for the both of us. ❞

[destinedplace]

@dearlybeloves / yozora & strelitzia.

It's silly, probably —— she's dead, after all, a corpse that died in the dark, kept in a gilded cage by a man and the boy he keeps on a leash. It's silly to be afraid of crowds when they can't even see her, let alone touch her. Somedays, she's not afraid of them. Today, though, Strelitzia is. Hates being in the cage. She hadn't realizing being out would be worse, it's been so long since her last day like this.

Her hand hooks into the back of Yozora's shirt as his much longer strides threaten to put too much space between them. She feels a flash of childish embarrassment, like she would have when she hadn't yet been killed, but it's smothered quickly under the apathy and the anxiety and the...whatever else hangs over their relationship like a funeral shroud. "Don't get too far ahead," she says softly, eyes downturned. "I don't..."

[dearlybeloves]

he slows down, stills. on good days, they can both pretend it's out of kindness. yozora turns without a word, heavy gaze settling on strelitzia and── observing. he takes in the tense line of her shoulders, the barely-there light in her eyes still dimmer. a corpse stands in front of him, stuck curling inwards like a wilting flower against the bustle of quadratum around them. yozora exhales quietly.

❝ come here, ❞ he says. but he doesn't wait for an answer. a hand reaches out to grip hers── there isn't any kindness in it, not with the way he yanks her forward, causes her to stumble── brings her closer towards a newer, warmer cage. close enough to hold / far enough that it still feels like a chasm; yozora does not let go of her wrist, the touch burning but ... it's lax. ( there was never any fear of her running. ) loose enough so that she can make him let go. kindness, maybe. ❝ i'm right here. ❞

[dearlybeloves]

@lumined ( for lea ), starter call ── it's a bit unusual, realizing just how much the worlds have changed without him. enough time has passed for radiant garden to fall then rise again, enough time has passed that── he has to look up to talk to old friends. ❝ i didn't think you'd grow up to be so tall, ❞ ventus says in greeting, in lieu of anything else to say. he smiles, awkward, joyful. ❝ i think it's kind of unfair. why couldn't i have my growth spurt in my sleep? ❞

[lunabrae]

𝐈 𝐊𝐍𝐎𝐖 𝐘𝐎𝐔'𝐑𝐄 𝐒𝐓𝐈𝐋𝐋 𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑𝐄. rp blog for lunafreya nox fleuret of final fantasy xv.

[dearlybeloves]

𝐀 𝐌𝐔𝐒𝐄𝐔𝐌 𝐎𝐅 𝐒𝐎𝐔𝐋𝐒, featuring @sunhalf's kairi.

[dearlybeloves]

@miraculle, starter call ── she is── beautiful. she has a face the girl has glimpsed only through mirrored reflections / sparse memories / beautiful faces that appear in the corner of kairi's eyes. naminé trails after her just a few paces behind, eyes cast to the ground below. ❝ i'm── not quite human myself, either. ❞ even against the chill, she does not shiver. ❝ i'm just an empty shell made from another. ❞

[dearlybeloves]

@13nth, starter call ── it's a secret, meaning: it's a feeling she hasn't voiced before. at least, not since coming back. she hooks roxas' pinkie with her own as they stroll through the quiet alleys of twilight town, knowing that he'll give her strength to reveal it. ❝ sometimes── sometimes, i'm afraid i'm dreaming. that this is too good to be true. ❞ in it, an unvoiced question: is it okay for me to exist?

[heartslight]

no bc you know the kh news is ground shaking when the 4 horsemen of the apocalypse (balu, tea, nami, and i) show up at the same time