trying not to fade away

it was a small and strange flutter in my heart, I followed it and went to a new world. Lost (2021)

[ashstfu]

propaganda i am not falling for:

always moving on. some goodbyes need to rot a little. some griefs need to be held in the mouth like a stone.

beauty defined by algorithms. beauty exists in crow feet and smile lines

pretending to be chill. i’m not chill. i care deeply and inconveniently. i read into things. i write poems about eye contact

beige apartments with no soul. give me bookshelves and incense and loud art

sneaky links and unclear intentions. i want devotion. and also clarity

treating books as decor. read them. dog-ear them. argue with them in the margins

[dailyflicks]

MY LADY JANE | 1.08

[psychecreations]

It's almost dawn.

[rachemchul]

My Lady Jane 〡 1x04

[holybatgirlz]

[livelovecaliforniadreams]

[kendalroys]

"I was rather hoping you would say that." My Lady Jane 1.08 "God Save the Queen"

[raeiyyn]

gang jae: why did you bring the tangerines? why bring three of them when your bag is so small?

bu jeong: i dont want to talk about it

gang jae: okay

after a long pause as they lie silently, facing opposite each other

bu jeong: it's been so long... it's been so long since i met with someone that i didn't know what to bring. they were on the table. so i just brought them.

gang jae: so this is like a picnic to you then?

bu jeong: no. i just....felt like disappearing. sometimes, i hate myself so much that i wish i could just disappear. the sun went down. i was hungry but i didn't want to do anything and then a thought occured to me "i want to die like i'm floating away somewhere"... but on my way here... i felt good. i thought "why did i bring the tangeries?" but the tangerine was sweet. i thought "why did i wear ill fitting shoes?" but it felt great taking them off. the bathroom was large. i was sitting. now im lying down....i also want to go home. i want to see my dad. i think i know what you mean about a stream trickling down your heart, although I cant explain it.

gang jae: if by chance, we meet again by coincidece, not like today, do you want to die with me?

lost (2021), dir hur jin ho, park hung soo // jacques prévert // via pinterest // b moore // alessia d cesare

[dramascene]

Did I perhaps lose my memories... or you?

LOVELY RUNNER 선재 업고 튀어 (2024) dir. Boo Sung Chul, Yoon Jong Ho, Kim Tae Yeong

[dramascene]

LOVELY RUNNER 선재 업고 튀어 (2024) dir. Boo Sung Chul, Yoon Jong Ho, Kim Tae Yeong

[lastofthe20thcenturygirls]

he's so stressed you'd think he's been in love with her for the last 15 years

[jupteur]

i know i sound obsessed with him BUT LIKE .. this is how you write male characters. he should be the norm not the exception. the way i was expecting him to be an asshole after sol changes the timeline and yet he's still the same dumb loser who loves her when he doesn't even know her 😭 i could die bro i understand he's fictional but he's simply the best person i know my guy doesn't have a hating bone in his body and no other man is doing it like him

[fake-married-my-dead-fiance]

Literally every time Sun-Jae sees Im Sol and she does something cute:

[I wanna be dark and mysterious but I can't stop giggling]

[unbfacts]

[scarfacemarston]

Super important to think about for those who are caring for anyone with memory impairments right now.

The same thing happened with my grandmother when presidents have died over the years.

[mynamesnotdahlia]

What is sundowning

Sundowning is when people with dementia start experiencing anxiety, confusion, and aggression in the afternoon/evening. It can also mean hallucinations. It's pretty common in people with mid-later stages of dementia and I think that Simon experiences it pretty badly. It is not necessarily something that happens super often though it can be day after day. It happens generally because of overstimulation, fatigue, new surroundings, or boredom but it can have a lot of reasons it happens. Depression also makes it worse. Simon's sleep schedule gets all donked up because of his internal clock and he stays up throughout the night and tends to panic when it's dark out. He hallucinates sometimes and generally gets very overwhelmed, pacing and rambling and not being able to calm down very easily. His confusion and hallucinations do make him a bit aggressive sometimes, he feels the need to escape and leave and if he's stopped from wandering when he's already in this panicked and anxious state he's more likely to get aggressive than any other time. His hallucinations don't make a lot of sense since they draw from a lot of different time periods, from college, from the mushroom war, from Ice King, and none of it meshes together very well which is distressing on top of the fact he's already hallucinating.

[tinyblips]

I wasn’t quite sure what her name was.

My hand hesitated over the door knob I’d just unlocked, my brain completely frozen, puzzled by all the possible letters that could be combined to make a name as perfect as hers. I had known it at one point, I swear. It would come to me in moments of laughter, moments of love, and moments of grief. It was my anchor in life, the first thing on my lips in the morning, and the last thing at night.

And yet now, standing here at the threshold I have stood before every day for the last 30 years of my life, I found that I could not remember her name.

I willed myself to grab the door knob and turn it. It felt cool in my hand and it was all I could focus on. I would see her, and I would remember her name. I had to believe that I would remember her name. She was the most important person in my life. How could I forget her name?