ellievsbear
almost home
Jules of Nature
dirt enthusiast
$LAYYYTER
Three Goblin Art
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
Discoholic 🪩
Misplaced Lens Cap
Mike Driver
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trying on a metaphor
ojovivo
KIROKAZE
Sade Olutola
if i look back, i am lost
oozey mess
Janaina Medeiros
Game of Thrones Daily
Monterey Bay Aquarium
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@death-by-whimsy
~pinned post~
Siren. 25f. she/they. queer. wasian.
this is my ed vent/diary blog. there is no goal here -- i am simply documenting my own personal experiences. if you are upset by such topics, please just block!
not pro ed
this is a thin/spo-free blog! i do not post or reblog any thin/spo images here.
current bmi = 18.5
dni - bigots (including fatphobes). it's not worth my time to label every single intolerable prejudice. if you are overly hateful or annoying, i might block you.
i don't log in often on this account but when i do i'm probably doing Badly
i want to be smaller but i'm afraid doctor visits are gonna be annoying if i dip below my current weight (18.5 bmi, which is the "underweight" cutoff)
to do that i'd need to trade fat for muscle (more dense than fat)...
i was gonna mope about being too lazy but tbh i really just need to get off my ass and lock the fuck in
my boyfriend has a scale here at his place but it's in kilograms instead of pounds and i feel like such a dumb american having to use online converters to translate my weight into Freedom Units(tm)
just got one of those 2 year tumblr anniversary notifs
feels kinda wack since i had a year-long break on this account... my real main account is about a decade old by now.
haven't been on here in forever (a year and a half?). in the meantime:
i got a boyfriend
we've been dating for ~6 months now
i practically live at his apartment
he doesn't have an ed (officially) but he's similarly bad at remembering to eat
he makes me delicious food every day from scratch, but he's very understanding about me being small (almost a foot shorter than him) so i never feel pressured to eat more than i want to
my weight is pretty much the same as it was the last time i logged in?
i was panicking last week about my weight gain over the previous month but it only took me like 5 days of good behavior (not bingeing on junk food) to lose it again
trying to be more strict about dental care helps a lot actually. it forces me to be more strict about eating times because i can't eat again if i've just brushed my teeth
pumpkin spice launches later this month (as usual at starbs) and i kinda wanna be one of those basic bitches in yoga pants and furry boots and a fuzzy sweater ngl
like i need to be one of those chicks where people are like. how do u manage to stay so skinny when u always got a sugary sweet latte in ur hand?? (and the answer is that it's my meal for the day)
lmaooo not me after my dentist appointment being like "so how long should i wait before i can eat again?" knowing damn well i wasn't planning on eating anything for the rest of the day anyway
i can feel my stomach sticking out from my recent (last couple weeks) weight gain and it's so infuriating AaAAhHHHHH
like get out of my wayyy!!! stop squishing up when i lean over!!!! its so uncomfy i hate itt!!!!!!
been slacking off and not exercising at all the past couple months (other than like. work as usual and one week of volunteer stuff) so hi i'm back!!
i was super satisfied with where my weight was at the start of july, at like 17.5~18 bmi. my original plan was to start doing some proper weight training -- trading the lost fat weight for more dense muscle weight. that way, i could be physically slim and fit without letting the numbers dip into the Worrying The Doctors Zone...
but instead i got complacent bc "yay number is sufficiently low!!" and i started snacking and drinking more (plus stress-eating early in the day and skipping exercise bc end-of-term school stress) and now i'm right back at my initial goal weight of like 19 bmi lmaooo. for reference my starting bmi was like. 20. lol.
might have to run to the grocery store soon to pick up some safe foods that actually taste good.
my family only ever buys high calorie processed garbage and i'm sick and tired of scrounging around for something to eat every night... or worse -- settling for large quantities of unsatisfying empty carbs while high or drunk.
NO girl dont ruin your early 20s by staying home every saturday and lamenting the death of your childhood while also being afraid to even act like a 20 something year old bc you still feel so young yet so old and lost all at once haha you’re so sexy!
been eating way too much over the last week bc of various celebrations and hanging out with friends. was being too lenient with myself ("it's my birthday week, i'll let myself relax hehe" *binge eats tons of snacks and sweets despite not being hungry*) and ended up gaining back like 5 pounds YIKES
and i've been lazy and not exercising either!!! probably burned decent calories going on those outings, but not enough to combat all i've been eating. i need to work harder ughh
reminder to self: it's fine to eat whatever you want at nice restaurants as a treat, but don't waste your calories on chain-eating processed garbage at home!! also take ur fucking meds!!!
pissed off that my upper arms are still flabby af despite my bmi being underweight. wtf
AUDREY HEPBURN AS PRINCESS ANN ROMAN HOLIDAY (1953) Dir. William Wyler
