Strange thing, realizing a man can split his life clean in two and still be expected to keep walking straight. There is Jack before the Slaughter Ring, and there is Jack now.
Ward stands in the bleachers with the rest of the crowd roaring around him, the sound gone distant and tinny in his ears, and stares down into the ring at the man he had - what? Trusted? Counted among his own? Called comrade, if he was feeling generous and stupid in equal measure?
Magic sparks off Jack like a struck match in dry grass. Ward is on his feet before he remembers deciding to move.
“What the fuck,” he says. He has spent the whole event posted up beside Ophelia, watching too much and then - Jack. The curse falls easy off his lips. Easier than it ought to. But then, most things come easy when a man is busy trying to keep the whole goddamn place from sinking by stuffing his hands into every leak he can find.
His mind kicks from one to the next like a spooked horse in a stall. Ward's is already moving when Annalise catches him first. Gets a hand on him. Pulls him aside, just far enough from the crowd that the world narrows down to her face, her hand on his arm, and the tight, careful concern in her eyes.
She sees it. Of course she sees it - that gut-shot look on him.
For one second, Ward cannot tell if she saw Jack. Cannot tell if she has come to talk about Ophelia. That is a whole other can of worms sitting heavy in the dirt, and he has not yet found a way to look down the barrel of it without feeling something in him kick back.
Then she speaks: I miss you.
Ward looks at his sister and feels something old and sore twist under his ribs. Annalise, standing there with all that care on her face, like she has not learned better yet. Like he has not given her every reason to stop trying.
He should talk to her more.
The thought comes plain and brutal, with no room for his usual dodging. He should ask how she is. He should tell her he is sorry. He should say that every ugly thing he does, every line he toes, every order he carries, has her name buried somewhere in the reason for it. He should tell her that he misses her too. But Ward Halstead has never been much good at standing in the open with his heart in his hands and his mind is constantly, constantly on every danger in the room. Right now that danger is Jack. “Lis,” he starts, and his voice comes out rougher than he means it to. He stops.
Did she know? About Jack? If she knew before him, then that is not her failing. It is his. Another hole in the fence. Another wolf already through.
Ward’s jaw works once. He looks back toward the ring, where the truth of Jack is still ringing in the air, bright and wrong and impossible to unsee.
When he looks at Annalise again, the expression on his face is strained into something almost calm. Almost. He scrubs a hand over his face and a “I'm fine - just.... that fucking liar" escapes him.