ᵈᵉˢᵉʳᵛᶤᶰᵍ / ᵘᶰᵈᵉˢᵉʳᵛᶤᶰᵍ

[deathcommander]

It is with great sadness that I write this, but this is the end of deathcommander. 

While I absolutely adore Clarke, and she is as much of me as I am of her, I can’t find the will in me to keep up with an indie blog. I would rather ‘end’ my Clarke once and for all, rather than only logging in like, thrice a month and doing a reply or two and leaving the blog in a weird state. I do love Clarke so very much, and this blog, so I want to give it the goodbye it deserves.

However, I will be writing Clarke privately and as per @noximperator‘s wonderful idea, I will log on sometimes (rarely) to post a plotting call. So, y’know, if you want to write with my private Clarke, we can work something out.

Thank you to everyone who’s written with my Clarke and I so, so very much hope I’ve done her justice for you and you could find something special with my Clarke. It’s been an amazing time, but —— well. Reshop.

[deathcommander]

It is with great sadness that I write this, but this is the end of deathcommander. 

While I absolutely adore Clarke, and she is as much of me as I am of her, I can’t find the will in me to keep up with an indie blog. I would rather ‘end’ my Clarke once and for all, rather than only logging in like, thrice a month and doing a reply or two and leaving the blog in a weird state. I do love Clarke so very much, and this blog, so I want to give it the goodbye it deserves.

However, I will be writing Clarke privately and as per @noximperator‘s wonderful idea, I will log on sometimes (rarely) to post a plotting call. So, y’know, if you want to write with my private Clarke, we can work something out.

Thank you to everyone who’s written with my Clarke and I so, so very much hope I’ve done her justice for you and you could find something special with my Clarke. It’s been an amazing time, but —— well. Reshop.

[deathcommander]

It is with great sadness that I write this, but this is the end of deathcommander. 

While I absolutely adore Clarke, and she is as much of me as I am of her, I can’t find the will in me to keep up with an indie blog. I would rather ‘end’ my Clarke once and for all, rather than only logging in like, thrice a month and doing a reply or two and leaving the blog in a weird state. I do love Clarke so very much, and this blog, so I want to give it the goodbye it deserves.

However, I will be writing Clarke privately and as per @noximperator‘s wonderful idea, I will log on sometimes (rarely) to post a plotting call. So, y’know, if you want to write with my private Clarke, we can work something out.

Thank you to everyone who’s written with my Clarke and I so, so very much hope I’ve done her justice for you and you could find something special with my Clarke. It’s been an amazing time, but —— well. Reshop.

[deathcommander]

It is with great sadness that I write this, but this is the end of deathcommander. 

While I absolutely adore Clarke, and she is as much of me as I am of her, I can’t find the will in me to keep up with an indie blog. I would rather ‘end’ my Clarke once and for all, rather than only logging in like, thrice a month and doing a reply or two and leaving the blog in a weird state. I do love Clarke so very much, and this blog, so I want to give it the goodbye it deserves.

However, I will be writing Clarke privately and as per @noximperator‘s wonderful idea, I will log on sometimes (rarely) to post a plotting call. So, y’know, if you want to write with my private Clarke, we can work something out.

Thank you to everyone who’s written with my Clarke and I so, so very much hope I’ve done her justice for you and you could find something special with my Clarke. It’s been an amazing time, but —— well. Reshop.

[deathcommander]

It is with great sadness that I write this, but this is the end of deathcommander. 

While I absolutely adore Clarke, and she is as much of me as I am of her, I can’t find the will in me to keep up with an indie blog. I would rather ‘end’ my Clarke once and for all, rather than only logging in like, thrice a month and doing a reply or two and leaving the blog in a weird state. I do love Clarke so very much, and this blog, so I want to give it the goodbye it deserves.

However, I will be writing Clarke privately and as per @noximperator‘s wonderful idea, I will log on sometimes (rarely) to post a plotting call. So, y’know, if you want to write with my private Clarke, we can work something out.

Thank you to everyone who’s written with my Clarke and I so, so very much hope I’ve done her justice for you and you could find something special with my Clarke. It’s been an amazing time, but —— well. Reshop.

[deathcommander]

It is with great sadness that I write this, but this is the end of deathcommander. 

While I absolutely adore Clarke, and she is as much of me as I am of her, I can’t find the will in me to keep up with an indie blog. I would rather ‘end’ my Clarke once and for all, rather than only logging in like, thrice a month and doing a reply or two and leaving the blog in a weird state. I do love Clarke so very much, and this blog, so I want to give it the goodbye it deserves.

However, I will be writing Clarke privately and as per @noximperator‘s wonderful idea, I will log on sometimes (rarely) to post a plotting call. So, y’know, if you want to write with my private Clarke, we can work something out.

Thank you to everyone who’s written with my Clarke and I so, so very much hope I’ve done her justice for you and you could find something special with my Clarke. It’s been an amazing time, but ------ well. Reshop.

[heartsnmagic]

[missieces-deactivated20230226]

Sure Katherine had heard about Clarke and how she was their unelected leader. Didn’t mean she had to accept or respect such. “So princess. How’s the view up there?” @deathcommander

[deathcommander]

she grits her teeth at the hated title & turns around to face the offender .   ❛      just great . would be better if we’d landed at the right mountain so we don’t die without resources . i’m trying to figure out a plan from my high seat , would you like to join ?     ❜

[deathcommander]

i want to work on pre-show clarke, just to ... you know, discover her more so feel free to hit me up if you want to plot. my babe’s totally a ‘lil amy santiago ok. but on that note, a b99 verse is also welcome ! also, i know i owe people things & i promise to get to them soon. ♥

[theliteraryjournals]

In a sense, I’m the one who ruined me: I did it myself.

Haruki Murakami, 1Q84 (via theliteraryjournals)

Send me a misconception you think people have about my character and I'll explain if it's true or not

[magnuslighwood-archive]

character posters: commander lexa

[hxdaleksakomtrigedakru-blog]

“But you did. You made the same decision, Klark. You did what any leader would do, place your people above anyone else. You had allies inside that mountain. Innocent people who helped you, yet you made the decision.” she remained calm, though the pain in blue eyes tore her apart. If Clarke wanted to blame her for that, she would accept the responsibility. However, despite loving her, she had a duty to fulfill. Breaking her own heart by having left her behind. The guilt would always cloud her mind, torturing her mind at the image of losing her. 

“No..” her chest tightened, her words wavering and losing their strength at being so close to Clarke once more. To feel the hatred radiating from the blonde. How she wished she could end her suffering. Undo the past and spare the pain she was going through. “not the deal..” a pair of sky blues did. Each time she closed her eyes she could see them plead with her. Beg her not to go. Not to leave her behind. To see Clarke in complete disbelief that she had in fact betrayed her not long after they had made plans, after inviting her to come to Polis and perhaps a future for them awaiting. It all crashed down with one deal. 

“My people were trapped. They would not have stood a chance against their weapons, Klark. There was no other option. If I hadn’t accepted, they would all have been slaughtered. I couldn’t lose anymore. They had taken too much.” it had finally come to an end, though by the means was not accepted by her people. Most respected Clarke, wanheda, for bringing down the mountain. Some feared her. Nearly all could agree that while they understood her choice, making a deal with the enemy was not tolerated. Lexa had lost, by saving her people. 

“I never wanted to hurt you.” 

[deathcommander]

no matter how much clarke believes she’s mastered her expressions , nothing could have prepared her for that . the ease with which her fatal decision at mount weather had been brought up   ------   hand pulling a lever ensuring sure-death . sky-blue eyes & tender heart had wished to look away , but she forced herself to watch the wrought catastrophe   ------   a monster did not not deserve salve , only punishment . and when blistered body upon blistered body fell , this monster was forever haunted & punished . clarke involuntarily staggers backwards , mouth opening & falling like a goldfish . how could she justify herself ?   ❛      you don’t get to use that against me . i had no choice   ------   because you fled & took your army with you . i had no choice .      ❜   the argument has lost its bite , sounding weak even to herself . last bit broken off & doused in pain , jasper’s accusatory & hate-filled glare surfacing in her mind , faces of aforementioned allies flashing in her mind .

❛      i can’t even argue with you .      ❜   said tiredly . she was hearing what she already knew : the consequences of either accepting or rejecting the cursed mountain’s deal . though she couldn’t muster up the energy to tell lexa that if she hadn’t accepted , it was unlikely her trapped people would’ve been killed   ------   after all , what would arguing with her on that point change ? and it was an outcame clarke couldn’t have perfectly predicted . back turned to lexa , the fight having fled the blonde’s body . until she heard the last words , words that sliced through her heart .

but you did .

but you did .

but you did .

❛      but you did .      ❜   she voices , the only true thing her heart’s been aching to say . vulnerable . she quickly tries to cover up her mistake by saying in a shaky cold tone   ------   ❛      we all did things we didn’t want . i massacred a population , you went against your personal wishes .      ❜

[noximperator-blog]

HER SHOULDERS ARE HEAVY WITH WEARINESS and her whole body aches for a place to just collapse. She spent days on the road, from bus to bus then some hitchhiking and finally Beacon Hills is not so far in the horizon, but Lexa has reached her limit — she needs a shower and a decent night of sleep, in a bed. 

The place is… modest. Not a five stars, but for someone who had been sleeping in uncomfortable backseats for the past week Motel Glen Capri will do just fine. The lady in the front desk got a very sinister smile that sends shivers down to Lexa’s spine, but she accepts the girl’s crumpled money and gives her a key. 

The woman, however, forgets to inform Lexa that’s she’s not alone in the room — when she opens the door, she’s greeted with a sight of a blonde girl sitting in one of the beds and Lexa can’t help, but stare at the stranger — she’s pretty, like very pretty and Lexa is using the same clothes for almost four days and therefore not at her best state.

     “ I – I  wasn’t informed I was going share the room. ” She says from the door, eyes locked in the other girl’s figure.

▐┊@deathcommander​ answered the calling.  

[deathcommander]

Drip. Droplet miserably slides down side of a cracked porcelain sink. She somehow feels its slippery descent. Drip. It tethers on the edge of a precipice, before gathering weight and free-falling to a puddle beneath consisting of its fallen brothers. Clarke jerks as if she herself feels the impact and the consequential ripples spreading outward. Drip.

The stranger / intruder’s entrance mercifully breaks Clarke from the hypersensitive trance she was in, and for the second time that evening she jerks as if stung. It’s been months of enduring this torture, of her mind going hyperactive and trying to deceive her   ------   it’s been so long, so painful, that she’s lost nearly all ground with reality. Social etiquette be damned   ------   Clarke stares dazedly at the stranger. What were they doing here?

❛      Neither was I.      ❜   Soft words, hands folded demurely on lap. The blonde opens her mouth, ready to insist she’d much rather be alone and tell the other girl   ------   no matter how attractive   ------   to take this issue up with reception. At the last moment, though, Clarke shuts her mouth and shrugs to herself   ------   she’s sure she’ll creep out the stranger soon enough with her odd behaviour and send her running from the room anyway. Why waste breath arguing about it ?

❛      I guess we’re roommates. Name’s Clarke, by the way   ------   and I’m claiming this bed.      ❜

[greelin]

[slowly raises hand] yeah, so, does making out with the enemy count as “fraternizing” or

[deathcommander]

@noximperator

[hellanne]

I’m a ghost that everyone can see;

Franz Wright, Empty Stage (via soracities)

[deathcommander]

HIATUS NOTICE

i’m traveling for competition so i’ll be gone from 8 september - 14 september ! i won’t have my laptop at all & i don’t have a queue running so unfortunately, this blog will look inactive but i promise i’ll be back !