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shout out to the person commenting on every single chapter of nights sequentially in this the year 2026 when the final chapter was posted in 2015. double shout out bc the comments are mostly just like

#jaye text posts to herself #nights #say what you want about nights but it is that kind of story. makes you want to throw up. makes you urgently need a shower......#crazy to think that ppl are still reading this fic i wrote when i was 18 & i'm 31 now?! this is prob my greatest cultural impact tbh #which is Unfortunate

marginally related to my last post (at least to the tags), i am finishing up a really excellent nonfiction memoir rn called "the man who could move clouds" by ingrid rojas contreras, which is largely about the author's mother and paternal grandfather who are/were really powerful colombian curanderos (folk healers). it's also very much about the ravages of colonization in both a macro and micro sense, and manages to spectacularly equate western medicine's concept of "trauma" with curanderismo's "ghosts" in such a way that doesn't negate the existence of ghosts and hauntings as a real thing. i was ugly sobbing reading this book yesterday, and maybe i wouldn't have been if i wasn't so ill and therefore emotionally raw but damn. i recommend it to everyone, but if you have any sort of trauma, personal or intergenerational or cultural, i think it will hit especially hard

#jaye text posts to herself #if you don't believe in ghosts i don't know what to tell you..... at this point my attitude about that kind of stuff is like.#there is no point in arguing about it. if you know you know and if don't you're lucky!!!!

i've had a horrible stomach flu for the past three days and am finally feeling better (though still very weak) today, and tbh it was genuinely miserable and awful but. sometimes i feel like a really bad illness is akin to a spiritual experience or taking psychedelics or something? you go down into the pits of yourself, weep, suffer abjectly, think about the suffering of others, give up, start laughing at yourself because you're a disgusting mess and can't even move, become grateful for your usual good health (if you're lucky enough to have that), fantasize about small things like being able to wash your hair or eat mashed potatoes, sleep forever, have intense fever dreams and genuinely just stop taking everything so utterly for granted. waking up this morning and being able to shower and drink a cup of coffee feels like the greatest gift imaginable. having the energy to even write this post is a gift. i cannot wait to eat food. just recognizing that i live in a time and place and in a class where i have access to food at all times and can eat whatever i want is staggering. to aspire to more than that is pointless. this world is so fucked up and broken. i hate america and i love my body. that's all

#jaye text posts to herself #i used to go through recurrent depressive episodes that would basically have the same effect. like i could barely eat for days #could not get out of bed or stop crying. that kind of thing. but it's been YEARS at this point (so crazy to think about bc at one point #that was a basic aspect of my Self) & honestly for anyone who is wondering i did cure my life long physically debilitating depression #with psychedelic mushrooms like truly that shit is medicine and it works. & i generally do take mushrooms every 2-3 months like clockwork #for mental health reasons and have for years. & obvs there's a lot of science behind what it is doing to your brain and body but i think on #one very significant level my mental illness was caused by my (/our collective) attempts to repress the Reality of Suffering both my own #personal trauma & intergenerational trauma & also the trauma of the world itself and the ways i am implicated in it as an american &#a consumer & etc etc. so the thing about a mushroom trip or a depressive episode or a really severe physical illness is that it #forces you to confront suffering (at the least your own and at the most Everyone's) and once you integrate that your self is less fractured #and as everybody knows or should. that is the way to peace! basically i am trying to say that my own mental illness was definitely #caused largely by the spiritual sickness of this entire colonial capitalist dystopia that we live within and the cultural context #which demands that we ignore the spiritual sickness and Be Happy! and Buy Things! and Be Successful Within the System!#anyway this is quite the tag essay but all this to say that somehow having my body and soul ravaged by the stomach flu actually #made me feel slightly better in the end. although if you had asked me yesterday i would have politely requested for you to euthanize me!

thomashamburg

#nhhhhh blind's hand art??????? ?#the gray house #love u слепой #i love when he murders it's so babygirl

stangergorya

ну типо курильщик, лорд и табаки

#the gray house #kids!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#still deeply offended by almost everyone in the english speaking world sleeping on this book which is about boys in wheelchairs beating #the shit out of each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (among other things)#say it with me now: your fave magical boarding school book could NEVER #love this art style so much op <3 thank you for posting <3

echo-bleu

@deathnoting I was inspired by your text post.

I just love them

#um OMFG I'M SCREAMING???????????????????????#i love this so much an it's all i've ever wanted in my life?????????????????? thank you so much???? what the fuck? my hero!!!!#i legitimately almost didn't even post that text post it was in my drafts for days and i was like it is Too Embarrassing that this is all #i fucking think about these days???#the gray house #blindsphinx #truly this is my favorite thing ever thank you op. i have been thinking about this exact thing (lap sitting while collectively reading a #book) since i first finished the book last august. it was perhaps one of my first ever blindsphinx feelings? that they should be doing this

cuprumbao

commission

#this art makes this ship SO REAL for me like yeah....it would be exactly like this. plants are vulture's love language #the gray house #also vulture looks so stoned in this i love #the moment where he gives ralph a joint in the book..... best student of all time

why am i crying writing the fucking keynote speech for my former community college's conference on writing and literature

#jaye text posts to herself #when you're like I'll tell these fuckers what they wanna hear i'll give em a heartrending sob story about my lifelong struggles with #maintaining academic enrollment due to mental health issues and economic precarity. then i'll hit em with the heartwarming #narrative about my lifelong passion for writing finally paying off bc i refused to seriously invest in anything but my art. but i'll make #sure to tell them that the real pay off is not success it's my beautiful community........ what i did not foresee is that i would fall for #my own stupid schtick but damn. it's been a whole life Ya'll

lorawant2draw

для ♥ шакалиной тетради ♥

#an OIL PAINTING!!!!!!!? of my??? short king?????#the gray house #love u слепой #<- that's my blind tag now. it's gotten to this point..... where i have to have one

look. listen. i need blind to be sitting in sphinx's lap, giving him drags from his cigarette. i need sphinx to be lying back in bed with blind curled up on top of him, holding a book open and turning the pages, while sphinx reads aloud to him. i need sphinx to be standing over blind's shoulder, scrutinizing and giving directions, while someone else carefully picks the ticks off of blind's scalp and the back of his neck. i need sphinx to scold blind about being dirty or bloodied or just for not taking care of himself and for blind to bear these tirades mutely and with an air of smugness. i need them to take showers together and for blind to wash sphinx's body thoroughly and reverentially, but not to bother with his own unless sphinx bullies him into it. i need blind with twigs and leafy debris and the occasional spider caught in his hair. i need him to always be giving sphinx small gifts and trinkets, wordlessly and with no fanfare. i need him to wear sphinx's t-shirts, which are too big for him, and to sometimes steal things of his just to keep them under his pillow and smell them. i need sphinx to constantly be staring at blind's hands. i need blind to constantly be putting his hands on sphinx in small ways. i need -

#jaye text posts to herself #the gray house #Дом в котором #blindsphinx #слепосфинксы #whatever I'M NORMAL !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

cuprumbao

scratching a двк sketching itch

#I'M SCREAMING I LOVE YOUR двк ART SO MUCH OP #my fucking kingdom for ELK/RALPH PLS I'M GONNA LOSE IT???? also this is the best elk i've ever seen just as far as how #i picture him... elk + lil blind is Everything to me!! lil blind with the scraped up knees and the possessive This Is My Dad Not Yours face #& NANETTE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#the gray house

ok ppl often put very funny things in their bookmarks of my fics but this is a recent fave

#so true buddy 🤝#one of my all time faves from the last year was someone who (on my really filthy lawlight murder #kink fic) was like How do i show this to my therapist without violating OSHA #and that to me was an absolute banger

eschscholtz

Characters from the book "The Gray House"

#obsessed with the FLOWERS and the like?? storybook art style idk man these are beautiful #also i will never ever get over blind wearing green or just like. how green functions symbolically in the this book ughhhhh #something something eyes green as grass something something all flesh was as grass and nothing more etc #the gray house

the-oceanographer

i owe this fic my life

#i also owe this fic my life tbh !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#have been having the most fun a person could possibly have with a writing project tbh #THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR READING MY SHIT #underbellies of wolves

just had to "hey i need to talk to you about work right now" the front desk girl at my college tutoring job bc some irate man would not leave her alone. rest assured that i will never in my life ever try to talk to you about Company Business unless i am using it as a fake excuse to get rid of a man who will not take no for an answer

#jaye text posts to herself #men will wander the city looking for a woman trapped behind a counter to lecture about their mistreatment by society i s2g #i have many times been that woman. & i will always be there with an impromptu fake business meeting for any bitch who needs it!