i am a graveyard.

These veins are borrowed, this shell is borrowed. A new life after death, it's fucking perfect. This face means nothing, these hands hold nothing, these lungs are empty, and these eyes are blind. But I am here, and this heart is yours. [[ ROLEPLAY BLOG ]]

[deathspellsss]

[ Tonight I'll have Tony's blog cleaned out and a new bio sent in. Excitementttt~ ]

[deathspellsss]

OOC: Here's what's gonna happen

At the end of the month, when Three Skull is revamped, I will be deleting most of the contents of Anthony's blog and completely revamping him as a character. He's become too dependent on characters that are no-longer active, and I don't think his personality will fit very well within the revamp. See you guys next month!

[deathspellsss]

Hn… Pez… Do you still want to see me…?

[adrian--theartist-blog]

Hell yeah I do, buddy. It’s been, like, forever!

[deathspellsss]

...Okay. I...

...Maybe you want me to come to your tent. Mine is very... Messy...

[deathspellsss]

Hn... Pez... Do you still want to see me...?

[deathspellsss]

the dark circles under my eyes are not from lack of sleep, but from lack of motivation, lack of desire, lack of you.

[bonkattemptstodraw]

I’m not sure if I’ve completely buried my true self, or completely exposed it.

[letmegetinmyzone-blog-blog]

Visit Original Link

[deathspellsss]

ears ringing teeth clicking

(there's a cult inside of me)

[inkywings]

You grinning graveyard of a boy, I danced for you. You rusty-hinged iron gate of a boy, you poorly untied noose, I waited for you. I sang and scratched my throat and kept on singing and forgot the words and felt my tongue swell but sang to the falling sun, you planned, blueprinted mistake of a boy. I left for you. I left for you too, you sweet lemon, molding rind, bruise to a healed spot, burn to a scab spot, sorely forgetful, sorely unforgettable, clogged keyhole of a boy.

This Kind | Ramna Safeer (via inkywings)

[deathspellsss]

[vampirevalturze]

He was right of course, Val had not listened to him. If she had, this would not be happening. She would not have been hurt. Then again there were so many other moments that would have been missed and lost had she never gotten close to him, never come to love the reaper. A guitar serenade in the woods, words from her long dead father, crystal cufflinks given and worn on his wedding. Would she have traded those moments just to be free of the pain and the fear? No. Never. Did Tony know that? Could he understand that it was worth it?

Her dark brows furrowed at his words, Val looking down and tugging aside the collar of her shirt to look at the newly restored skin, smooth and luminescent again, only a light white trail marking where the wound had once been and even that would faded further still. “No, I wouldn’t listen. Because I always knew there was more to you than what you said. That you weren’t all bad or dangerous,” she touched her skin gently and then replaced the shirt, “I always thought there was enough goodness inside of you to…triumph…” she sighed and leaned back onto the sofa. 

She was quiet for a few moments longer, listening to him speak about Kieran, registering that look of surprise when she didn’t order him away. Knowing that the other reaper was here to look after Tony did make her feel better. But it also caused a frown to deepen on her face. Was this his fate? To always be tied to another? It seemed…unfair. To Kieran if not to Tony as well. Val simply nodded, looking up at him for the first time and holding his gaze, her throat tightening as she recognized that smile, that part of him that she loved. “It does make me feel better. I know you are happier when he is around but…I’m still worried for you, Tony. How do you know you can control yourself? What if Kieran…” What if he can’t pull you back? What if he leaves? She didn’t voice those things instead she looked down to her pale hands.

“I need to see if I can trust you again. I need…time.”

[deathspellsss]

Anthony listened, shaking his head slowly and looking down at his hands. "I know what I am. I've always known, Val. I try to be patient and kind, but that doesn't change what I am. You see goodness in me and that... That makes me happy, but it also makes me scared. When people get close to me, I... I always..." He gestured vaguely at Val, looking exasperated. "I love you, but I am also... Very tired of trying so hard... I need..." To be held back, to be controlled, to be away from the people he didn't want to hurt. The Reaper didn't know how to say it, but he knew what it was. Kieran always drew him back, Kieran always opened his eyes, calmed him down. There was no way--

"I can't control myself," he hissed, listening to Val's words and becoming slightly agitated over them. "Everyone knows, Tarrence knows, Pez knows, Micah knows... a-and you two." Anthony turned his head away and wrung his tattooed fingers together. "You and Kieran... I-I don't understand you two. I never will. Father saw no grace in me, but bu-but you and Ki--" Anthony choked. He lift a hand and pressed the heels of his palms against his eyes, already feeling the burn of his tears. "You and... Y-you keep saying..." His voice lowered to a whisper, a sob hitched in his throat. "I... I can't... It hurts so much. I'm trying to live up to it. I'm trying because you and Kieran say you love me and you say I'm good. I don't want people to love me if it hurts them in the end, Val." 

[foxesonstilts]

Saying Your Names, Richard Siken

[adrian--theartist-blog]

Yeah, yeah, whatever. Just get round here eventually, yea? I mean, I gotta mess with space for a bit, see what I have room for is all.

[deathspellsss]

Alright, I'll...

I'll come over, Pez. Are you alone?

[mesbeauxarts-blog]

[deathspellsss]

//Hiding in his tent forever//

[vampirevalturze]

As Tony’s fingers came to brush against her cheek, Val flinched, her purple eyes closing as her skin ached where he touched, the pain following the path of his fingers. The ridges of angry, almost charred flesh flared under his touch and Val cried out as his hand rested over the once smooth skin below her collar bones. It only took an instant for the wound to transfer to Tony’s form but it felt like…an eternity. The pain ripped through her immortal body with a heat that would surely consume her; a hungry white hot flame that would leave nothing but dust. 

The touch was soft and quick but in that healing touch the vampiress felt his pain as well. She heard the roar of angry voices and the purr of placated spirits. She heard words murmured behind the veil, words not meant for her ears. Val felt his terror and his loneliness so sharply that she cried out, a breathless, wounded sound that left her throat feeling raw. It all happened in a matter of seconds. A handful of heart beats. Falling back against the couch, Val took a loud gasp of air, filling her lungs as her head rolled back against the sofa, the roar in her ears starting to dull and she realized that Tony was speaking. And…That there was no pain. There was only a dull warmth on her chest, a muted kind of ache that was already fading. She took another shaky breath before she pulled her head up and looked at Tony. There were still dark circles under her eyes, which contrasted sharply against her pale skin, giving her a look of exhaustion. “Its not that we can’t Tony, its just that…” she trailed off and looked down at his nails, wincing at the way they cut into his flesh, the sight of which causing a bubble of fear to form in her chest, the memory still too fresh, “I need time. I need to be able to trust you again and I don’t know if I can,” she kept her gaze down, dropping it to the carpeted floor of the tent.

Hearing him say that he loved her hurt. It ached in her ears. His love was scalding. It was dangerous. But her love for him was irrational and not easily broken. Bent perhaps, but not broken. “You couldn’t stop me from loving you, Tony and you can’t stop me now…Its just…I tried to help you. I tried and you…you wouldn’t listen. And maybe you couldn’t but-” she cut herself off, closing her eyes, emotion choking her for a moment. After a few seconds she looked up at him, speaking slowly, “Kieran…He came back safely? I saw him, in your tent when you were…gone.” She changed the subject, if only for a moment, unable to finish what she had been saying. But not willing to let him leave just yet.

[deathspellsss]

"You wouldn't listen," Anthony corrected, emphasis in his voice, but no cruel intent or anger, just...sadness. The Reaper took a deep breath, one hand moving up to touch the scar on his chest. He frowned, worried about his tattoo and how it would look now, of all things he could be worrying about, but thinking about something as simple as that distracted him from the sounds reverberating inside of his skull. The black faded from his fingertips, dissolving away along with his claws. He swiped his tongue over his bottom lip and fidgeted, unsure of where to look-- anywhere but at Val.

"Don't try to help me anymore," he continued. "I'll keep hurting you."

He moved to step away and leave, but stopped when Val spoke up again. The Reaper was surprised she'd change the subject like that and go on to talk as if everything was okay. "Kieran is here," he replied. "So... I'll be okay." Anthony nodded, fingers threading together. He played with his wedding band. "He has my scythe, so... He can make sure..." The Reaper nodded again, cracking into one of his lopsided ghosts of a smile. It was a good security measure, he supposed. Not even the most persuasive of voices was loud enough to drown out the call of his scythe. "Maybe that will make you feel better," he added. 

[vampirevalturze]

Val had known that this was going to be difficult. Seeing Tony was a double edged sword that pierced through her heart; she was happy that he was back, beyond pleased that he had (literally) returned to the land of the living. But on that other side, separated by a razor sharp edge, was a kind of fear and…anger at the reaper. He had hurt her. He had terrified her. He had lived up to every thing he had ever warned her of. How could she just let him in now? How could she trust him?

She was curled on against one arm of the sofa, her legs tucked under her body, black shawl draped over her shoulders. Hearing his footsteps, Val looked up, catching a quick glimpse of his form outlined in the fading sunset, a smile half forming on her lips with the words 'I am so glad you are back' but they were ripped from her throat by a jagged gasp, a shot of pain blossoming across her chest, ripping across her skin as soon as the reaper stepped into her tent. She clutched her chest and lurched forward, her head rolling towards her chest as she shuddered, the ache in the scar pulsing with each step that Tony took towards her.

"S-stop," she manged finally, her dark hair hanging down across her face, obscuring her view of him. All Val could see was his outstretched hand and the edges of his knees. "T-tony, it…it hurts…having you s-so close," she shook her head and shied away from taking his hand, "I-I don’t thin-k I can…" her voice was shaking. She was afraid to touch him, to let him touch her. Afraid that the pain would be…too much.

[deathspellsss]

Anthony wasn't surprised by Val's reaction, but that didn't mean it didn't hurt to witness. He tensed slightly, almost flinching away in response, but then he reminded himself why he was here. 

"I know," he replied, voice gentle, He spoke in the voice he used to coax the dead into following him, into loving him. "I know, but it will be over very soon. Ci sono, Val." The Reaper continued to kneel, but he reached with his hand for the vampiress. "I love you," he reminded. "It's not the same as the love I have for Kieran, but I know it's love... I know how my heart aches." 

Anthony's fingers touched Val's cheek, then her throat and finally came to rest over where the wound marred her pearly white skin. She was cold under his fingertips, familiarly so and as soon as his fingers brushed against the damaged tissue, the wound began to close and dissipate.

"Nngk..." Tony recoiled, pulling his hand away as the wound closed an disappeared, black blood seeping through his shirt as he took on Val's wound for himself. It bled and then scarred within seconds,  taking on the same appearance it had on Val's skin. When he was finished, Anthony stood up, bowing his head and threading his fingers together. "I told you," he added on softly, feeling bad for calling Val out, but needing to say it. "I told you not to love me and I told you... to... To stay away from me..." He grit his teeth and then bit the inside of his cheek, his fingers curling, nails changing shape, growing sharp and slicing into his own skin. This was hard to say. "I told you I was bad, so please believe me this time. I love you, so please believe me." He kept his head down, fringe hiding most of his face. "Kieran will keep me and make sure that I am good, but I... I understand why we can't..." The Reaper trailed off, taking a few steps backwards while he made a move to leave. He wanted to get out before his emotions took hold.

[vampirevalturze]

Tony you…scared me.

Seeing you like that…again was terrifying.

You need to know that things went too far. And I was the collateral damage.

……you can come and fix me…I don’t know if that is the best idea…but I can’t take this any longer.

[deathspellsss]

Anthony stepped into Val's tent with a cautious air about him. He was the picture of a child who had just been scolded by his mother, wings folded neatly behind his back, head bowed slightly. He didn't want to look Val in the eye-- he couldn't. He felt like such a disappointment. He'd... Always been a disappointment. 

He found his friend there, eased back on the soft, purple sofa. His dark eyes looked anywhere but directly into her icy violets. 

"It won't take long..."

The Reaper waited for permission before stepping up to the sofa, he stooped down, kneeling before the vampiress and offering a hand. The claws that had marked Val were now gone, only Tony's familiar inked skin and aching bones remained. "I promise," he added softly, finally glancing up at her. Anthony hoped this was the one thing he could do to show he was sorry. He knew that he wouldn't be forgiven, but he was used to such treatment by now. After all, he'd told Val... He'd told her so many times that he wasn't a good person.