A tree-hugging, nature-loving, hippie aunt. But she loves specifically all of the most disgusting and horrifying things in nature.
She admires the way predators eviscerate their prey. She finds the lethal mating habits of insects romantic. She always offers people fruits and snacks, forgetting that they're poisonous and most people haven't developed immunity.
Lauraâs love language is gift giving, and she also loves tactile hobbies like sewing and knitting so she often makes gifts for her friends. Debbie has so many hand knitted hats and scarves made by Laura.
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the
Organization for Transformative Works
One evening, the three friends had met up in Coreyâs room, to do nothing.
âCorey youâve gotta let her go, sheâs with Michael now. I know heâs a dick but sheâs not gonna leave him, especially not for you,â Corey shot daggers at Kirk, âbecause⊠um⊠maybe she thinks youâre out of her league. Because you are.â Kirk smiled to himself, thinking heâd just done a triumphant save, then focused his attention on the abandoned rubix cube in his hands.
âRight, thanks,â he huffed.
âKirkâs right, I mean why waste your time on someone whoâs dating someone else. You need to open your horizons, man. Plenty of sea in the ocean and all that.â
âPlenty of fish in the sea?â
Alf squinted at Corey. âThatâs what I said.â
Kirk once again abandoned his rubix cube and looked up at Alf. âDude youâre tired, you need to get more sleep.â
âWell Kirk, maybe we all need more sleep, but I donât think thatâs gonna happen anytime soon,â Corey snapped. Alf shrank slightly, looking between his two friends with wide eyes.
âCorey, itâs ok⊠I probably do need more-â
âKirk, you canât just yell at someone for saying the wrong expression-â
âCorey donât.â Alf looked at his friend with terror in his eyes, biting his lip to stop it trembling. He really couldnât show Kirk how upset he was. âHey, Kirk, how quickly can you solve a rubix cube? Whatâs your quickest time?â
Kirk immediately opened his mouth with a smirk.
âIf you make a sex joke I swear Iâll kill you,â he pointed his finger at Kirk, who began giggling, âyouâre gross.â
âYouâre gross,â Kirk leaned in close and scrunched his face up.
âAlright you love birds, stop flirting before I throw up-â
âIâm not gay.â Alf gulped.
âThatâs⊠nice. Anyway, Kirk, what's your fastest time at solving a rubix cube?â He crossed his legs on the chair he was sitting backwards on.
âI dunno, I think the fastest Iâve ever done it was half a Huey Lewis song.â
âWhich one?â
âWhichever song makes it seem most impressive,â he leant back on his seat and yawned.
âTired?â Alf looked up at him, from where he was sitting on the floor, and rested his elbow on Kirkâs knee.
âYou betcha, Iâll probably head home soon. Iâve got homework to ignore, after all,â he rubbed his eyes and stretched his arms, then rested them accidentally on Alfâs. âFag.â
âHey you put your hand on MY arm,â he scowled up at Kirk, then neither moved from their position.
âYou two,â Corey chuckled and shook his head.
âCorey, you sound like a dad.â
âKirk what are you talking about? He IS a dad,â he snorted.
âMy bad, my bad.â
âYouâre so stupid,â Corey huffed, then slowly climbed off his chair, âright itâs 10:30 so youâve gotta split.â
âNo fair,â Kirk half-heartedly kicked the floor in protest, âI want to stay now. This is my home, I live here now.â
âYouâre so difficult sometimes you know? Anyway, you get.â Corey grabbed both boys by their arms and pulled them off his mini couch.
âI hate you Corey, Iâm never coming back,â Kirk huffed, then accidentally let his grin slip in.
âBut, I have a tv in my room, and I have Star Trek on tape.â
Alf folded his arms, âthe man makes a strong point.â
âRight go! My mom will get mad, then she wonât bake you any more cookies.â
Kirk leant in to whisper to Alf, âprobably a good thing, I think I chipped a tooth eating one they were so hard.â
âTheyâre not the only thing thatâs hard-â
âHey are you two making fun of my momâs cookies?â Kirk and Alf both gulped in sync.
âHey Corey Iâve got to go, sorry. See you on Monday.â Immediately both boys hurried to leave Coreyâs room, and he slumped onto his couch, letting out a sigh he hoped wasnât audible. Absentmindedly, he began to zone out, staring at the Queen poster at the other end of his room.
He had no idea how long heâd been staring at Freddie Mercuryâs face for, when suddenly Alf reappeared.
âWhat took you so long?â Corey stood up to find the sleeping bag heâd stored somewhere he couldnât remember.
âI got so into the conversation with Kirk I forgot to cut round the corner and come back, so I had to go the long way round,â he sighed tiredly and grabbed his pyjamas heading for the bathroom.
It was so much more of a hassle helping Alf when Kirk stayed over late, he was definitely very much welcome, but then it meant Alf having to leave the house then come back, and actually lie to Kirk. Corey always felt so guilty lying to Kirk, they didnât mean to exclude him, it was just part of looking after Alf.
Coreyâs brow furrowed, suddenly wondering why Alf had never spoken to Kirk about his many problems. As soon as he came back from the bathroom, Corey couldnât resist the urge to ask.
âHey, man, can I ask why you have to jump through hoops to not let Kirk know you have to stay at mine sometimes?â
Alfâs eyes widened again, then he gulped and sat on the couch now covered in a sleeping bag. âHe just⊠he canât know. Heâd worry, and try to fix things, and I donât want him to worry about fixing something he canât. I donât want him to know Iâm not ok. To him, Iâm regular old Alf who he can have a joke with, and make fun of, and not treat me like a charity case. To you, Iâm a fragile bomb youâre scared of accidentally setting off. Honestly your perception of me is probably more accurate, but I donât want it to be. If Kirk doesnât know then when Iâm talking to him it isnât true.â
There was a painful silence between them, then Alf let out one more thing. âI donât want to lie to him, but if I donât lie to him then I canât lie to myself.â
Awkwardly, Corey coughed, then lay down on his bed. âI love you sleeping here, but I wish it was a choice not a necessity.â
âWell, Corey, I can sleep at home, itâs just easier to fall asleep without yelling.â Alf grinned, trying to create the illusion that he was ok with this, then laughed to stop Corey looking uncomfortable. âThanks Corey, I really do appreciate you letting me crash out here.â
âAnytime, now go to bed before you get too corny,â Corey snickered, and flicked the light off.
Billy watched Jaws when he was 7 and now has a massive fear of the ocean. Itâs so bad that when his class went on a school trip to the beach, he was coincidentally sick that day.