decaf

professional thought thinker any pronouns follow/reply/like from @angelic.arsonist

[decaffeinated-hoe]

hello. this is a reminder to take your medication, get some water and a snack and take a break. this is a threat :)

[decaffeinated-hoe]

TJ maxx is short for Timothy Joseph Maximus

[decaffeinated-hoe]

had a dream that Tusk launched a skincare line and their whole thing was that their products were NOT cruelty free

[decaffeinated-hoe]

business idea: pie bites

[decaffeinated-hoe]

i feel like most songs about cancel culture are written by people trying to criticize society for telling them it’s not ok to say racial slurs or groom children

[decaffeinated-hoe]

lifeguards interfere with natural selection

[decaffeinated-hoe]

am i in love with him or the playlist i made about him

[decaffeinated-hoe]

gonna start collecting sports cards and trading them based on how hot the player is

[decaffeinated-hoe]

[decaffeinated-hoe]

who the hell actually enjoys thin crust pizza and why is it the only kind sold frozen

[pukicho]

The problem with society today is that damn internet

[the-w-in-wcorp]

...he says, posting it on the internet

[pukicho]

How the fuck else am I supposed to post it? Messenger pigeon?

[decaffeinated-hoe]

post it on the town message board and hope it doesn’t rain? millennials smh

[pukicho]

what did u think of the mario movie trailer

“Huh?… w-where am I? The mushroom fuckin’ kingdom? Mama mia! this fuckin’ day”

[decaffeinated-hoe]

instead of setting a timer or alarm for your nap set a stopwatch. test your limits.

[decaffeinated-hoe]

losing my shit over this vaccination ad

[decaffeinated-hoe]

why are teeth the only exposed bones in the body? i want more :(

[decaffeinated-hoe]

WHAT THE FUCK

[decaffeinated-hoe]

saying “i have trouble regulating the temperature of my baths”

- boring

- pathetic

- makes you sound like an incompetent child

saying “tub time gets HOT”

- fun

- attention grabbing

- leaves possible sexual tension between you and the tub

[decaffeinated-hoe]

bought a TI-84 calculator off ebay for $20. thought i was getting insanely lucky. turns out i just bought the case. now i have a $20 case for a calculator i don’t own