the signs as poorly thought out shit that i've actually done
ARIES: knocked my brother off of our roof
TAURUS: spent over 200 dollars on real life pokemon badges
GEMINI: tried to make french toast by myself, accidentally used an entire carton of eggs for three pieces of toast
CANCER: slept on my floor because i didn't want to wake up my dog to move him (seven times)
LEO: got called pretentious and reacted by looking up the word pretentious in the dictionary to find the exact definition to prove my accuser wrong (age 13)
VIRGO: printed out a chart to cross reference all of the possible places i could purchase cadbury eggs at any given time
LIBRA: forgot to sleep for two days
SCORPIO: became jealous of the video game "skyrim" because my significant other spent more time playing it than talking to me
SAGITTARIUS: learned how to tie my shoes wrong, still tie them wrong today (age 16)
CAPRICORN: named my first goldfish "Goldfish #1"
AQUARIUS: accidentally told my 68 year old grandfather to "suck it or pay up"
PISCES: cried so hard at the movie "brother bear" that my mother had to escort me from the theater because people were complaining
