A/N: While Deeks is at FLETC, Kensi struggles without him.
Itās week four sans Deeks and Kensiās starting to feel the strain. It starts when she wakes up in the morning to an empty bed, continues on the drive to work where she either relies on a too-short video call with or the radio to fill the silence. At first, work had been a welcome distraction and sheād even enjoyed the chance to work with agents from other agencies.
The novelty is wearing thin now, and sheās keenly aware of Deeks absence as she stands in their usual spot in OPS. She misses his insights, and jokes,
āYou want to come question the witness with me, Kens?ā Callen asks.
Of course, because she doesnāt have a permanent partner, sheās either stuck going solo or takes turns pairing up with someone else for a few days. It reminds her a little too much of her first year or so with NCIS, when she was always the third wheel to Sam and Callenās veteran partnership. Even though they donāt complain, sheās starting to feel like a burden.
āSure. Though this time, Iām driving,ā she insists.
āOk, but only if you clean it first,ā Callen agrees as they walk out the door. She groans, playing into it because thatās whatās expected of her.
Once sheās driving, her thoughts drift. This is hardly the first time sheās been without a partner, but itās been the longest in recent years, and it makes her realize how much she relies on Deeks knowing her and anticipating her quirks and needs the way no one else can.
Samās extremely particular about certain aspects of the job. He doesnāt keep an extra candy bar in the glove compartment, or think of stopping for a donut when she starts getting cranky on long shifts. She also knows heās not going to take her up on an offer to stop for tacos on the way back to the mission. He would if she asks, but itās not the same.
When theyāre stopped at a backed up red light, she checks her phone and finds a missed call from Deeks. Damn it. If she doesnāt call him back in the next twenty minutes, she probably wonāt get another opportunity until tonight.
Shoving her phone back in her pocket, she covers her disappointment with a shrug. āYeah, we usually talk before work, but Deeks has an off-campus training today, so his schedule is a little different.ā
āIs he doing ok?ā Callen asks politely. Or at least thatās how she reads it. Maybe heās just trying to tiptoe around whatās been a tenuous situation.
āHeās good. Itās FLETC, you know, so itās not exactly fun,ā she answers, recalling Deeksā descriptions of the long runs cadets had every morning and afternoon. Sheād mostly blocked that detail out of her memory since her own FLETC days. āEspecially since heās stuck with a bunch of 23 year olds. Not that thatās a problem. You know Deeks is a people person and is in amazing shape. Itās just not what you want to be doing in your forties.ā She presses her lips together to hold back further rambling.
Callen didnāt need to know about the mild hazing Deeks received at the hands of the less kind instructors the first couple of weeks. Or the expectations that came with Deeksā years of experience, as well as the unexpected notoriety that came with their more infamous cases. Finding out that FLETC instructors not only used Deeks and Samās abduction by Sidorov as case study had come as an extremely unpleasant and jarring surprise.
āYeah, thatās to be expected,ā Callen comments neutrally. Something about it irritates her. At least Sam would offer some sage advice. Heād remind her that Deeks was strong and intelligent and they both would make it through the next couple months.
Callenās more matter-of-fact for any of that, which is pretty damn infuriating when it feel as if her life might implode at any second. An awkward silence rises and goes on until they reach their destination and Callen tentatively breaches the tension.
This time he sounds more uncertain, even concerned, and for some reason, it instantly makes her eyes burn with the beginnings of tears. She also feels bad for her uncharitable thoughts.
āYeah, I just miss him,ā she admits. She doesnāt add that thereās a lot riding on Deeks successfully completing FLETC. That she might be looking for a new partner even if he does.
āWhy donāt you call Deeks back? Iāll give you a few minutes to catch up.
He acknowledges that with a nod, gets out of the SUV, and paces a few yards away. She quickly calls Deeks back, and he picks up after the second ring.
āKensi,ā he answers, his voice instantly soothing her.
āHi baby,ā she murmurs back, briefly closing her eyes. She wants to tell him how hard this is. That she misses him. That she needs him here. Instead, she forces a smile into her voice. āHow was your run?ā
Leaning back in her seat, she closes her eyes as he talks, and for a few minutes, pretends heās right beside her.
A/N: This story involves a number of my personal head canons and references several stories and the backstory Iāve written in my FLETC series (all posted to my ff.net page). So, most of this is not actually canon.
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