I see a lot of people on this site romanticising mental illness and I’m sick of it.
Anxiety isn’t some fun little character quirk that makes you unique and different. There’s a difference between feeling anxious and having anxiety.
Anxiety is being at the school ball that you’ve been looking forward to for the last year and a half and suddenly feel petrified. You feel as if everyone is staring and the crowd turns into hundreds of judging faces.
Anxiety is hiding in the bathroom to try and stop your third panic attack as the loud music turns into a haze of blurred nothingness. The voice in your head becomes much louder than any cheesy dance music.
Anxiety is having to bail on an after party you paid money to go to because your body felt tense and wired. As if the slightest little thing would push you over the edge.
Anxiety is biting off fake fingernails, ripping nail polish and fidgeting with anything you hold to try and stop the buzzing in your head
Anxiety is having to quit your job because each extra shift they put on you causes another panic attack
Anxiety is first being scared to be around a lot of people… The being afraid to go to school or work… Then being afraid to go out with friend and eventually it’s being terrified to leave your house.
Anxiety is wondering if you could actually live up to the expectation you set on yourself or… If you’re doomed to fail
Depression isn’t feeling blue or something that everyone goes through. It’s a crippling mental illness that can ruin peoples lives.
Depression is unable to get out of bed, because the thought of it causes fear to run down your whole body.
Depression is hoping to get your parents to hate you so it will easier for them to forget about you when stop fighting or pushing your friends and partner away because they’re better off without you dragging them off
Depression is digging your nails into your flesh till you bleed or burning your body with hot water to feel something again.
Depression is constantly fighting off the voice telling you to end it, to just give up and fucking end all the pain.
Depression is not knowing when you’re actually happy or if you’re just faking it so other people don’t have to worry about it.
Depression is looking at people, looking at friends and hating them, hating how happy they are as you wonder why you can’t be like them
Depression is staring at your window longingly as that voice screams at you to jump out and run away for good.
Stop pretending that anxiety and depression is all fun and fucking games. It’s this attitude that made me think that how I was feeling was normal until I tried to fucking cut my wrists with a damn box cutter at work. Just stop and remember that mental illness isn’t a trait. It’s a problem that people need help for.
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