h
Kiana Khansmith
Sade Olutola
Acquired Stardust
PR's Tumblrdome
Sweet Seals For You, Always
trying on a metaphor
Love Begins
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
i don't do bad sauce passes
No title available
DEAR READER
Keni
Three Goblin Art
hello vonnie
Stranger Things
❣ Chile in a Photography ❣
occasionally subtle
Misplaced Lens Cap
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
seen from United States
seen from Malaysia
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seen from Türkiye
seen from Australia
seen from France
seen from United States
seen from Malaysia
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seen from Canada
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@deerteetharepretty
Next person who calls me a woman unprompted is getting hit unless we are talking intersexuality of some kind where my afab identity is necessary. I’m so fucking sick of people calling me a woman in arguments when they know I’m not one.
call me terminally academia-brained but i do think a lot of the fun of character analysis is figuring out how to build a compelling argument for a particular reading using lines of evidence from canon as well as meta/intertextual support
and you could say that what i’m saying here is basically “a lot of the fun of doing character analysis is doing character analysis” but let’s be real a lot of fandom character analysis is pretty heavily vibes-based. and i think that’s where i really chafe up against the traditional thought-terminating fandom attitude of like, everyone’s opinions hold equal weight and any interrogation of that is inherently hostile. because i think it’s fascinating to dig into where others are coming from in terms of their views on characters or dynamics or whatever, especially when they differ significantly from more commonly expressed views, and part of that digging is asking people okay what parts of canon are you drawing from to support your opinion? what parts of canon are you disregarding or downplaying? how does this argument hold up in the light of how race, gender, class, ability, etc. operate both in the piece’s in-fiction and real world contexts?
Game of the year
Trigger warnings for conversion therapy, rape, and acephobia in general.
Recently, a woman published this article about her experience in couples' therapy. Her experience matches with what most asexual people say is normal for therapists and doctors to put them through: conversion therapy and repeated rape to try to make them stop being asexual (needless to say, it did not work, because conversion therapy is pseudoscience and does not work).
All the therapists responsible for this, in this woman's case, self-described as liberal and LGBT+ friendly. This is why asexual people say that the current LGBT framework and LGBT-inclusive education for healthcare providers is not enough to stop conversion therapy, and demand that asexuality be included in these programmes.
[...] I figured out I was asexual. My husband, at first, was fine with this, though he insisted that we continue to have penetrative intercourse, as he considered such sex to be the ultimate connection and a necessary form of love. But penetrative intercourse made me want to vomit. I never wanted to have it again and, instead, I needed us to find new ways of connecting. On our own we couldn’t figure out where our two realities might intersect so we decided to try couples counseling. I had done individual therapy on and off for decades and found it immensely helpful. I assumed couples counseling would be helpful as well. And so, between December 2014 and October 2017, my husband and I took part in a cumulative 26 months of therapy across three therapists (one LMFT and two psychologists who specialized in family and relationship issues). This, looking back, was one of the worst decisions of my life.
I do not use the word trauma lightly when I say that my time in couples counseling was traumatic. Here is what I heard in those spaces over and over again from people that my husband and I had approached as experts: I was not okay as I am. My husband’s wants were normal while my wants were unimportant. It didn’t matter that intercourse made me feel like I was being raped. It didn’t matter that, to me, having sex with my husband was the same as having sex with a stranger or a relative or a child—that it felt just as wrong, just as nauseating. It didn’t matter that the only way I could get through sex was by imagining I was repeatedly cutting my throat or hacking at my wrists (I found those visualizations more comforting than inhabiting my body during sex). Sex between spouses was essential to any healthy and committed relationship, said our therapists, and we needed to fix what was wrong with me. The only alternative offered was divorce which was, for me, out of the question due to economic, family, and mental health reasons. Many of us in the ace community have been told by family members, significant others, and popular culture that we’re broken, that something is wrong with us, that we’ll be fixed or cured if we just have sex with the right person (or, maybe we need our hormones adjusted, or maybe we need sex therapy and sensate focus exercises). But I had not imagined hearing this from therapists my husband and I had turned to for help, just as I did not expect the focus of couples therapy to become the erasure of my sexual orientation. I’m guessing my husband’s needs were prioritized over mine because his were familiar to the therapists. They understood my lack of sexual desire as something that needed adjustment (to be fair, the DSM had medicalized asexuality via “hypoactive sexual desire disorder“ up until the DSM-5 in 2013). One therapist told me I was making my asexuality up as a way to control my relationship. She said she was knowledgeable about LGBT issues and she had never heard of asexuality. How did I know it existed? She told me that in New York, intercourse is an expectation of marriage by law. It wasn’t just her: none of the therapists were familiar with asexuality as an orientation. [...]
Part of surviving that time of marriage counseling—and I use the term surviving literally, as with each therapy session I slid further down the steep slope of depression and suicidality—was writing in my journal after those sessions. Some entries drift into notes about ways to kill myself [...] Eventually I knew I wouldn’t be okay—I would probably in fact be dead—if I continued these sessions.
[...] The number of young people who are identifying as asexual is striking and worth noting. Ten percent of LGBTQIA+ youth identified as asexual or ace spectrum in a 2020 Trevor Project survey. What this means, in my mind, is that therapists will soon be encountering asexuals in greater numbers—and this concerns me. Are marriage and family therapists ready to help asexual clients, particularly those who may be in mixed-orientation relationships? [...]
The therapists my husband and I met with presented themselves as liberal and progressive. They positioned themselves as LGBT supportive, a safe space, because they allowed that men can want to have sex with men, and women can want to have sex with women—but they could not imagine other queer possibilities, such as a committed and deep love without intercourse. [...]
When people ridicule raising awareness about asexuality's existence (and it's not only JK Rowling), when they claim asexuality shouldn't be included in the queer community, these are the results it leads to.
“I just feel like after everything we’ve gone through, and everything we’ve had to suffer… I am just not really cut out for knighthood. And I don’t mean that in any kind of self-deprecating way, I just… I am not who I thought I was,” Fitzroy Maplecourt
Just made a fucking awesome picture
it's so important to me that you tell the trans girls in your life how proud you are of them. for anything and everything, big and small. it's so easy to minimize the efforts of a trans girl, to nitpick and critique her victories, and to underscore all her stumbles -- and it's so rare for somebody to look at us and recognize our effort.
the girls in your life deserve to be praised and shown love, and trans women especially are subject to high expectations to give labor and perceived as always giving less than we actually are. do what you can to right the record
Queenie is great at communication.
Ahhhh, old love~
Me, tears streaming down my face, sobbing, as I stare at the stars: it’s just so beautiful
The medieval peasant I went back in time to give a bag of Doritos to, concerned: what terrible and powerful sorcerers they must have in your age, to be able to veil the vault of heaven itself from view, as you say
Me, sniffling: I didn’t realize, I can’t, it’s so much, I, I… are the chips good, at least?
Medieval peasant, trying to make me feel better: they’re… magical, strange traveler
the most sexual emotion a man can feel is fear
Now why would Tumblr user twinktorturer say something like this
NEVER KILL YOURSELF
TODAY IS A GOOD DAY.
(Sources: Wall Street Journal and Hollywood Reporter)
well i’m not recovering from ep 8 so here’s AM speech but with Caine in the meantime
writing these are addictive
They weren’t even attempting aid they were throwing his body around looking for a weapon that wasn’t fucking there. And with really has me fucked up is the fact the ice agent who yells where is the gun sounds both horrified and like he is about to yell at the shooter.
These fuckers don’t get an ounce of training and are just out there with guns and other heavy artillery.
Even if you were a racist stack of shit why the fuck would you join a paramilitary when you don’t know if one of your cohorts is gonna just randomly start shooting people
ALEX JEFFERY PRETTY!
The man brutally murdered by ICE in Minneapolis today FOR NO REASON has been identified as 37-year-old Minneapolis resident and American CITIZEN Alex Jeffrey Pretti.
Alex was a registered nurse with NO CRIMINAL RECORD. He was an athlete and avid outdoorsman. He worked for the VA, where he cared for veterans. He had a legal permit to carry, and video clearly shows that he did NOT brandish his gun at ICE officers. He was an ICE observer who was legally recording the ICE agents’ actions when he was stopped, detained, DISARMED, and THEN shot several times by ICE agents.
Alex had a permit to carry
He was legally exercising his 2nd Amendment right.
He did not draw the weapon.
He was filming when they approached him.
ICE agents had taken his weapon from its holster before they shot him.
It was MURDER.
Let all that sink in.
Please like and share to spread the word!
if you’re one of those saying it’s none of your business because “your not one of them”. You’re a racist fuck! It was always your business. It doesn’t matter that the person is white this time! it was always ALL OF OUR BUSINESS that they were shooting another human being!
Me too Eda. I wouldn't be able to keep it together if Raine looked at me like that.
