no its NOT terrorism yes it IS art

#deidara #itachi uchiha #akatsuki

It's true I enrolled in September but they kicked me out for being "disruptive" and "a danger to everyone there" so now I'm back with you fucks

What is it,

Bitchachi?

dm me if you look like this and want somebody better than a lameass wack uchiha (but you will have to fight for it) 💅

#deidara #akatsuki #orochimaru #drawn from memory cannot guarantee accuracy

realsasorifacts

Akatsuki Members Rated By Me (Sasori)

I will attempt to remain unbiased but I cannot promise that my biases will not greatly influence my decisions with their ratings.

1) Pain

As our leader, I think he is very competent and organized. I also appreciate the effort that goes into his aesthetic - the whole organization in fact. I do not know him enough personally to say very much about him.

All in all, I would say I give him a 3/10. 9 points down for insulting my math skills.

2) Konan

To put it bluntly, I have absolutely no idea what she does.

1/10 for committing to her aesthetic.

3) Kakuzu

Absolutely the only mildly respectable person in this organization. He also can understand my struggles with having to be assigned to such an insolent partner.

3/10. Points for being respectable but he does not have an appreciation for art. I don’t like that.

4) Hidan

Let us just say I appreciate whoever manages to kill him.

0/10

5) Kisame Hoshigaki

Hm.

0/10

6) Itachi Uchiha

Each time I see him he looks as if he is terrified. I do not know what of, but that is very cowardly move for someone who was strong enough to kill a whole clan.

0/10

7) ?

Nobody has told me his name.

0/10. Ugly shade of green.

8) Deidara

Everyday this stupid teenager torments me and wants to kill me he is evil and he does not appreciate me and he doesn’t believe in respecting his elders. He goes “Danna I’m tired of listening to you jabbering on about art and how it’s immortal I get your bullshit wrong philosophy you don’t have to drone on and repeat the same thing for the next 15 minutes” does he know how I have to live each day of my life? With him, a brat who doesn’t listen to true art and thinks that blowing up my puppets that I worked hard on for hours and days and weeks is “fun” and “artistic”? No, it isn’t. He still hasn’t paid me back for the puppets he’s ruined. I have a list of things he needs to pay me back for ranging from eyeliner to clothes to food because he didn’t have any money on him at the time while I, the responsible adult, in fact did. And each time I mention it? He dodges it. Then he asks for more money again. Deidara I don’t fucking care if you ran out of eyeliner or you’re going on a date with some boy who thinks you’re in fact not a missing-nin and a respectable civilian and you need to buy gloves to cover your hands with and money for the date or even your clay. I don’t fucking care anymore. My wallet is completely empty at this point and my paycheck doesn’t come in until next month. And, one more thing. I think that Carla Ray Yepson is a trashy artist and Deidara has horrible music taste. What good comes out of lyrics that keep on repeating about how they’re going to “make” most” “of” “the” “night” or “she” “is” “getting” “over” “him”? I don’t fucking care about her relationship problems or her allosexuality. He blasts it at full volume at 5 AM (when normal people, like me) are ASLEEP because he wants to watch the sunrise like some stupid hipster teen (which he, unfortunately, is). I want it to stop. I want Pain to accept my request to put Deidara on trial for execution in front of all the other Akatsuki members who also judge whether his crimes against me are valid.

-10(NEGATIVE TEN!!!!)/10

Now like, subscribe, comment. I do not accept feedback.

LISTEN HERE YOU SOGGY USELESS MATCHSTICK I HAVE STUDENT LOANS WHAT MONEY WOULD I HAVE BUT WHAT I DO HAVE IS A DEGREE AND WHAT DO YOU HAVE HM THAT'S RIGHT ALL YOU HAVE ARE DEAD PARENTS AND WOOD SHAVINGS AS BRAINS AND ALSO NO DEGREE

Also I borrowed your last few ryo for more eyeliner hope you don't mind xoxo

Not to vague post but not all of us get a sharingan handed down some of us have to WORK for it like ME isn’t that right KAKASHI

Sharingan is so overrated tbh just wait till they’re trying to copy jutsu you and spin your head around like the exorcist. Nice necks uchiha s but can it do *tHiS*

Creative. Innovative. You finally said something smart how does it feel Danna hm

In fact you’ve inspired me to go out and force an Uchiha to vore a fistful of clay as they attempt to mimic a work of pure ART

I say smart things all the time but no one ever listens to me because I’m pretty and eat glue

#and they call ME the dumbass

Sure

Maybe we would listen to you if you didn't keep glueing your mouth shut

Not to vague post but not all of us get a sharingan handed down some of us have to WORK for it like ME isn’t that right KAKASHI

Sharingan is so overrated tbh just wait till they’re trying to copy jutsu you and spin your head around like the exorcist. Nice necks uchiha s but can it do *tHiS*

#deidara #akatsuki #itachi uchiha #kisame hoshigaki #konan #pein #sasori #hidan #kakuzu #nagato #zetsu #obito uchiha #orochimaru

Creative. Innovative. You finally said something smart how does it feel Danna hm

In fact you've inspired me to go out and force an Uchiha to vore a fistful of clay as they attempt to mimic a work of pure ART

Not to vague post but not all of us get a sharingan handed down some of us have to WORK for it like ME isn't that right KAKASHI

#deidara #akatsuki

Sharingan havers are the leading cause of everything wrong in the world

#deidara #naruto

Akatsuki Fact 2 (true and unbiased)

Attractiveness ranked:

Pain: good punk aesthetic 4/10

Nagato: are you ok? 1/10

Konan: good goth aesthetic 5/10

Kisame: looks like a jock and sticks to it 3/10

Zetsu: stop 1/10

Itachi: God. Horrible. Disgusting. Konan does it 10x better -1/10

Sasori: a 35 year old man who decided to remain a twink for the rest of his life. Dedicated and as a fellow artist I respect that. 4.5/10

Kakuzu: a grandpa and a capitalist. 1/10

Deidara: need I say more? 10/10

That creepy one who defected after Itachi clowned him: dedicated to the creepy look but that redacts points 0/10

Tobi: I haven't seen his face ?/10

Hidan: needs improvement 1/10

Merry Christmas Sasori! What do you plan to give the Akatsuki?

That’s today?

Uhhh I’ll give em…. ummm… [checks pockets] sand?

#i always wanted sand #thabk you saslek km crykng

*crying* you really do care about us danna,,,,

I rigged the Christmas tree to explode when we're all gathered for Christmas dinner don't tell mom

#deidara #akatsuki

Deidara, you always gave me the same energy as Avril Levigne. A legend.

Finally my superior artistic talent and stunning good looks are recognised ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Google search how to hide the corpse of your partner in crime so your boss doesn't notice

#deidara

Akatsuki Facts (real)

Pein: bottom

Konan: bottom

Itachi: bottom

Sasori: has no ass (but would be a bottom)

Kisame: bottom

Hidan: no one wants to fuck him (but would be a power bottom specifically)

Kakuzu: pillow princess bottom

That snake dude: power bottom also

Plant boy: bottom (but be careful!)

Tobi: bottom

Deidara: top

Brat, shut up. You’re clearly a bottom. I have no ass, but I clearly have a puppet dick that grows each time I lie.

-xoxo, Sasori

Wow you finally got your first inch after you spread blatant lies about me being a bottom huh congrats ✌

*scoffs* excuse you -

what is it, bottom

aHEM, I don’t even have an asshole. Only a detachable dick, and I will throw it at you if you test my patience any longer!

Calm down Danna I wouldn’t want you to waste your only inch on me :(

*becomes so enraged that his head pops off, as does his detachable dick*

Sasori my man

Are you

Are you okay

Please I'm sorry mom's gonna kill me if our bottom puppet dies *sheds one (1) tear, cradling both head and detachable dick*

Akatsuki Facts (real)

Pein: bottom

Konan: bottom

Itachi: bottom

Sasori: has no ass (but would be a bottom)

Kisame: bottom

Hidan: no one wants to fuck him (but would be a power bottom specifically)

Kakuzu: pillow princess bottom

That snake dude: power bottom also

Plant boy: bottom (but be careful!)

Tobi: bottom

Deidara: top

Brat, shut up. You’re clearly a bottom. I have no ass, but I clearly have a puppet dick that grows each time I lie.

-xoxo, Sasori

Wow you finally got your first inch after you spread blatant lies about me being a bottom huh congrats ✌

*scoffs* excuse you -

what is it, bottom

aHEM, I don’t even have an asshole. Only a detachable dick, and I will throw it at you if you test my patience any longer!