save your soul

[delaneyiisms]

 cvrmenxo‌:

❝ good. my plan was set in motion. it’s a good show, so you won’t be disappointed. i don’t know, how do you know? max rager is a pretty regular type of energy drink name. it’s just like monster, or red bull. ah, well. i saw previews and i just don’t think it’s for me. some comedy is cool but i’m not hear for the mushy-gushy romantic vibe. ❞ she made a face. ❝ no, i think you’re still salty about the attempts you’ve made eating it the other ways and i’m sticking to that story. it’s not a very good defense when you admitted that my son could possibly try to slurp his noodles and end up choking ‘cause you did it. i had kind of already figured i wouldn’t have to worry about jade. but that sounds like some shit i would say. let him live his life eating with a fork, it’s not insulting at all. i think it’s cute as hell and i appreciate his consistency. he really is a sensitive little angel, isn’t he? i love that. i miss that. ❞

"is this something i should get the boys in on? cause they already play zombies, and they play that stupid video game where you have to shoot the zombies, and they play that plants vs. zombies game on my computer --- or is it not kid friendly, cause i just can't get them into monster high or ever after high. they think it's for girls. okay well, i don't drink monster or redbull, i drink starbucks, dunkin, and rockstars. what? how can you not like the romance stuff? haven't you ever seen the notebook? that's the most romantic shit --- i know exactly what happens and i still cry when i watch it," she said. "no, it's literally the most practical way to eat a cupcake without it getting messy. hey! no, i told him and jade to not slurp their noodles because it was a dumb idea and i sucked one down my esophagus. i mean, i showed them the real danger of it, you think they wanna spend twenty minutes in the bathroom gagging? probably not. it is too! you don't eat tiny little grains of things with a fork, it just falls through the little holes. a spoon is much more appropriate. especially for ice cream --- i don't know where he got eating ice cream with a fork from, but whoever did it definitely implanted something in my son to make him think a fork can be used for everything. he is very sensitive. you wanna know just how sensitive he is? i told him that his goldfish got fed up with the lemur trying to pet it and ran away from home instead of telling him that it died just to avoid the meltdown. and their hamster... mr. cheeks got a job at a really high tech hamster office and he had to move there so he could do his job better. and do this day, he still thinks the turtle got to that age where he had to go live in a sewer to become a powerful ninja. i can't break noah's heart and tell him that all of his favorite pets died, it would break my heart to see him so upset. he gets so emotionally invested in everything."

[delaneyiisms]

 roxcrios‌:

“literally me. i’d nap here if i didn’t have to watch axel as he played.” she laughed quietly. an eyebrow lifted as noah spoke about his twin, “i feel your pai, little dude.” she smiled, her eyes looking over at delaney, “oh, wow. i didn’t know they can taken them out this young! but its cute when they’re clingy. makes you feel extra loved.”

“same. if i fell asleep, chances are they’d get kidnapped, brought back because the kidnappers got sick of ‘em, and they’d only wake me up to ask for ice cream. pop quiz, noah, what do you do if someone you don’t know tries to take you somewhere?” she asked. “run away and yell that i don’t know them,” noah said. “what else could you do?” “kick ‘em in the nuts and run,” he said, only to get his mouth covered for a few seconds by his mother. “let’s not use that phrase, but yeah. go for the forbidden zone,” she said with a small laugh. “well, we really tried not to, but every single time this boy gets a cold he ends up with swollen tonsils, so his pediatrician finally said to take them out. cameron gets the same way, but not as bad so we can probably wait until he’s older if they need to be taken out,” she said. “they stole my androids, too,” noah said. “adenoids. they took out your adenoids, they didn’t steal them. they gave them to you to bring home cause you threw a fit about it.”

[delaneyiisms]

 nikkivara‌:

     walking his dog , nikki had figured it was a nice enough day to take a longer walk than he normally did . usually it was in his general area and around and down just a couple blocks . this time he figured he’d walk to the park . maybe stop at the dog park next to the park . either way , he had just gotten back from his trip and he wanted to take in the cool air . walk all the travel off of him . move around a bit . besides , things had been going a little shit for him lately . a breath of some good old fashioned fresh air was probably a good thing . as he walked he noticed the girl and her children and couldn’t help but laugh slightly at the scene . it wasn’t a disrespectful laugh or anything like that . it was more of a  ‘ in a way , he could understand her pain  ‘ type of laugh . nikki practically raised his little sister and he could remember all the times he had to whip her into shape when she was little . which was funny , because know it seemed like she was the one constantly whipping him into shape . almost as if they had switched places . despite the fact that they didn’t live in the same place anymore .  ‟ looks like you got your hands full .  „ the male began as he sat down on the other side of the bench . the big dog sitting next to him on the ground . 

“i definitely do. you should see me with four of them,” she said with a small laugh. noah’s eyes brightened seeing the dog and he got off of his mother’s lap, reaching out but stopping when delaney’s voice reached his ears. “what are you supposed to ask before you touch an animal you don’t know, young man?” delaney asked. “...is it a server dog and can i pet it if it’s not at work?” noah asked, looking at nikki as he swayed back and forth waiting to see if it was okay to touch the dog.

[delaneyiisms]

 addydudleyxo‌:

addison followed behind, making sure one of the twins didn’t wander behind too far, addy looked away for a minute and next thing they knew, delaney was sternly talking to the boys. addy was amused, but of course, addy didn’t let it show since it was a serious moment for the twins. addison let out a chuckle once cameron went off and the two others sat down, “i’m more than happy that i agreed to come with you to the park.” addy stated with a smile, taking a seat next to her, “honestly, i was getting a little stir crazy and i’ve been dying to meet the infamous duo, cameron and noah.” addy teased before beaming a smile at the other and then wiggling his brows at the little boy, “but don’t worry, we know you don’t be meaning to give your ma’ a hard time, right?” 

“so was i, i hate being in the house for too long. but sometimes i can’t trust these two to behave, can i, noah?” she asked, pushing the little boy’s hair out of his face. “cammy starts it,” noah said, leaning back against her. “not all the time. you might not mean to or realize you’re doing it, but you irritate him sometimes and he gets mad. you do it to each other. i couldn’t imagine if you were girls, all that sass and attitude and you’d be right under jadey’s belt.” “i could be a girl, you don’t know what i got,” noah said, making delaney laugh. “i do know exactly what you’ve got, i used to change your diapers and i’m the one that give you baths when daddy’s not home to do it,” she said before looking at addy. “be lucky you’ve only got the one on the way, two is fun but it’s definitely a hassle sometimes,” she said.

[delaneyiisms]

 cvrmenxo‌:

❝ it’s like a combination of how that particular batch of utopium was cut and max rager, a made up energy drink. or something like that. you’d have to watch it to get the full effect. also, i just want to pipe in because i didn’t say i was very good at chemistry either. but, i mean… i also didn’t blow up a desk and most of the sour looks i got from the chem teacher were meant for you. most of them. warm bodies? it never really appealed to me and honestly neither did izombie until i was bored, sick and seen it on my suggestions for too long. i almost watched the one zombie movie on disney, i think? but it seemed kinda bland. but i don’t think i really wanna watch warm bodies, either. isn’t it like mostly about romance and mush-gush fall in love the typical romeo-juliet drama from a different angle? ❞ shrugging, she made a face. ❝ it’s fucking weird and you’re just not capable of eating cupcakes any other way. i’m convinced you’ve failed at the other ways, that’s why you’re so adamant about this. oh, jesus. now i gotta worry about my six year old trying to choke himself like auntie? hey, leave the boy alone. his chosen utensil is a fork, if he can figure out how to use it for cereal? then he deserves some respect put on his name right now. shut up, him eating with a fork is a preference. quit judging my boy. yo, be real. forks make shit way less messier than eating a damn olive on your fingertips. ❞

“well now i have to watch it because i’ll wonder about it until i watch it to understand it. but i definitely wouldn’t drink and energy drink called max rager, that sounds like a party that would make me lose my mind. i don’t remember too much about it, i only saw it once, but i liked it. there was some comedy in there, but it was romance for the most part,” she said. “no, i’m adamant about it because it’s foolproof. in my defense, i told both of them to not slurp their noodles. when i came out of the bathroom jade said “why would you even...” like she’s never slurped a noodle. no, okay, you can eat mac and cheese and rice way easier with a spoon than with a fork. he eats ice cream... with a fork. it’s insulting as a mother, i raised him better than that. yeah, less messy, but way more fun. i still eat my olives from my fingers. or nails. just... stab ‘em. noah gets mad because i make voices for them begging for mercy, he’s all “that’s mean mommy, they have feelings”. my sensitive boy.”

[delaneyiisms]

 roxcrios‌:

roxy pulled a strand of hair behind her ear as she crossed her leg over her other, “axel was behaving the same way today. he was driving me a little insane. this will definitely tire them all out.” she smiled, her eyes shifting down to noah, “tired out already?” she asked, giving the boy a smile.

“god i hope so, i’m ready for a nap already,” she said with a small laugh. “no, i just want mommy and cammy’s a butthead,” noah said, crossing his arms. “we all know cam can be a butthead --- but be nice,” delaney said. “mister noah had his tonsils taken out a few weeks ago, he’s been a little more clingy than usual ever since. i think he’s still recovering.”

[delaneyiisms]

@yourboytravisw: I have never seen this boy as dramatic as he is today

@delaney: wondering where he gets that from, dad

[delaneyiisms]

@thisboymasond: i just want to sleep all day without anyone waking me up

@delaney: tough luck, if i don't get to sleep during the day neither do you

[delaneyiisms]

 roxcrios‌:

the park: it was her favorite way to pass the time with axel. she got to hang out and he got to tire himself out. they walked onto the wood chipped playground, axel held onto her hand, waiting for her approval to run off to the jungle gym, “okay, you can go. but stay where i can see you.” she said. the next thing she knew her hand was empty and her son was half way to the jungle gym. she laughed to herself, looking for a bench to sit at. she noticed a familiar faces and walked up to the woman, “hey! fancy seeing you here.” she smiled, sitting next to delaney. “hi.” she said, waving at noah.

delaney smiled as she looked at roxy, situating noah on her lap so she was more comfortable. "hi! twins were going a little stir crazy in the house so we came to get some air and let them get some of their energy out," she said as noah waved. "hi," he said.

[delaneyiisms]

 cvrmenxo‌:

❝ it’s a made up drug, for a made up story line. they do die and become zombies, they’re just not mindless murder machines for brains unless they don’t get brains for a long enough period of time. and i think that’s way more interesting than a regular zombie movie or show, because those have become boring and predictable. ❞ shaking her head. ❝ no, you’re not and i don’t know where you come up with these silly ideals. unless you’ve done all this before and the only way you’re able to eat a cupcake is by making it a sandwich. hell no, don’t come for noah like that. i understand eating it with a fork, if it’s messy or just because he wants to. but a fucking sandwich? that’s awful. ❞

“but --- so, what does it do though, is that what turns them into zombies or... you know i don’t understand chem shit, i barely passed chemistry in school and blew up an entire desk. which was not my fault because i was left unsupervised and told to ‘have fun’. there’s that one zombie movie, what’s it called? the one where the zombie falls in love with the not-zombie and he turns human again? cold bodies, warm bodies, something about bodies. that was an interesting take on the whole zombie thing,” she said. “it’s an even distribution so you don’t get messy and it’s more fun to eat that way. and if he’s started slurping his spaghetti... i’ll tell you right now i told him not to do it because i spent twenty minutes gagging on a noodle that got stuck in my throat. listen, noah eats his mac and cheese with a fucking fork too, and his rice, and his cereal --- he doesn’t know how to use utensils, it’s reflective on my parenting that i have obviously not done a good job in showing him how to eat properly. he doesn’t eat olives the right way either, all kids know that you’re supposed to put them on your fingertips and eat them that way, not stab them with a fork. the kid’s questionable, i don’t think he’s mine. he was definitely switched at birth with some alien baby with a deficit in utensil usage.”

[softlenaluthor]

[determinate]

[delaneyiisms]

it was a nice day, so why not go on a walk at the park? let the twins blow off some of that energy they’d woken up with that she definitely wasn’t fucking prepared for. “damn it noah.” delaney came to a full stop, turning around to face her boys. “you’re gonna wanna watch your mouth if you don’t wanna find yourself grounded from everything you enjoy. instead of playing, you could be sitting next to me the whole time we’re here,” she said, making cameron walk on her right side and noah on the left. “but he---” cameron started. “what did i say? did i say watch your mouth or didn’t i?” she asked. “yeah...” “then don’t argue with me, and you, mister,” delaney said, tapping noah’s head. “don’t pester him. go play. one argument, one handful of sand being thrown, one tear shed, one more bad word, one body part being put on each other, one tattle tale and we’re going home,” she said, stopping at a bench that was near the playground and sitting down as cameron ran off but noah climbed into her lap. 

[delaneyiisms]

 nicvgreen‌:

“ God I know that all too well. We’ve had to limit it to aisles or else she’ll be trying to pull the barbie dreamhouse box off the shelf. I miss when she was a baby and a crumpled paper ball could keep her occupied. ”

“when my boys have gone an entire week without fighting or getting into trouble, i spoil them and get them a new toy. if they were fighting, they don’t get shit. and if only one of them got in trouble but the other didn’t, only one of them gets a new toy. i hear the ‘that’s not fair’ argument all the time, but they’re four years old and definitely old enough to understand what i’m telling them by now. you know what’s really sad? paper balls keep me occupied. i sometimes use them as a projectile to break up a fight if i don’t feel like getting up from the couch. it might not be conventional, but it does the job and it doesn’t hurt them or leave any marks, so i use it to my own advantage.”

[kiwikiwiandkiwi]

[gabriellabolton]

high school musical meme: [6/7] quotes

[bangurz]