"I'm going to escape," she promised herself. "I'm going to go somewhere where people are kind and warm and I am free." She gradually got so good at keeping herself preoccupied that she would momentarily forget that she was forgetting. She'd breathe in and experience a moment that didn't feel broken or grieving or despairing. When it was just her loneliness that stretched out before her. The guilt that would strike her a moment later was as cold and bitter as seawater. She'd freeze for a moment and then swallow the lump of horror in her throat and renew her vow to escape. But she couldn't escape.











