I never thought I'd enjoy the feeling of soft weight clinging to me, but here I am. Heavier, padded, and aware of every extra pound. When I wake in the morning, I'm already starving, my body begging for more. My stomach growls; insistent, greedy, and almost painful. I like how much hungrier I am now compared to when I was lean, exercising and watching what I ate.
The weight has rewired me.
The rolls at my sides fold over the waistband of my pants, warm and heavy against my skin. My shirts are tight in places they never used to be.
I love peeling my clothes off at the end of the day, and seeing the faint red lines curving across my belly, proof that I'm filling out more and more. The tightness makes me feel decadent, almost scandalous, like I'm breaking some rule by wanting this. By wanting to be weighed down by my own gluttony.
There's something hot about defying what's "supposed" to be normal--about choosing indulgence, softness, excess.
Every new indent from my clothes, every roll spilling over fabric, every extra bite I can't resist. It all makes me feel alive in ways being fit, and strict never did. It feels good to give in. Although, others would call it "giving up", or "letting myself go".
It will get to the point where no one can deny my love of food. Not when the proof is being carried right on my body, and affecting my everyday life. 💓

















