One man, eleven years ago, looked over and saw one girl with her friends that were with a couple. It was the same situation and neither knew they were having the same conversation about each other. Both couples were suggestion they should introduce themselves because they were tall, single and not that bad looking. As the night progress, this man continued to drink liquid courage to come and talk to the girl. She wasn't interested because her heart had been broken but her friends begged her to come out just for a little while. However, he was able to strike up a conversation with laughter and that was always her weakness. From that night forward, these two never were apart. He never came to her apartment but it didn't seem like a big deal because he only lived down the street. He did however drive over to pick her up for a date. He was a gentleman and she thought to herself, "This seems like a guy that wouldn't cheat on you". They were comfortable and even waited to have relations which she thought was so polite and respectful. After all, who did that these day? She didn't think he was perfect but he was just a nice guy and she had dated so many wrong guys and wasted five to seven years of her life on different people that didn't appreciate her. Maybe, just maybe he was the one. She'd put that thought away in her pocket. She met his mom during the holidays, only to find out she lived upstairs at the duplex and they had been spying as her left each morning once they got to that point in the relationship. She was mortified that he didn't tell her that little tidbit of information but after he explained it made sense because eventually he was saving up to buy a house and he did pay her rent. Immediately, she fell in love with his mom and vice versa. They were very similar but didn't realize how much until it was too late. After a few years of dating, a lack of intimacy began and she thought that was something that happened with all couples. He wasn't exactly Mr. Romantic but again she thought back to the ones that were and those that said would never get married and then dumped her and now have a wife and two kids or dumped her and was cheating on her in the process. She suggested pills, but he got all dram if like a little blue pill would kill him. He survive a motorcycle crash and broke his back so I was pretty sure he'd survive but the answer was no. He had the love making skills of a 16 year old, get it done and who cares about her needs. She became an actress of sounds when they did do it just to feed his ego. Eventually, his mother convinced him it was time to leave the nest and buy a home. They dragged her all over Long Beach to look at homes and yet she was clueless. She didn't understand why she had to come along if SHE wasn't in the buying process and they weren't engaged. After the last home, she actually had to drag me outside to let me know he was doing this for our future. She could hardly contain her excitement, that meant it was a forever thing! Boy, was she delusional. However, her thought process was"Someone wanted me for me." She could look past the little things because he loved her, comprise, and all he had to do was propose. She had long refused to move in again with anyone unless they proposed and were getting married. Been there done that even engaged and it bite her in the ass twice. It was a heart break she could not handle. She had too much disappointment in her life to go through that again along with the other issues in childhood. That Christmas, he bought a ring. It cost less that the standard poodle but she didn't care because she had the big ring and the cheating looser. It was more about love and commitment than the size of the ring she told herself. But, he couldn't even say the words. If that isn't screaming bad sign, she didn't don't know what was. She summed it up to nerves and ignored the warning signs. But, he wanted her to move with him and he knew she wouldn't. He had strategy. His mother wanted the same thing and he did what mom wanted. However, in his head he already knew he would never marry me unless I got pregnant. That would be hard since he hardly touched her. His affection turned into a kiss hello and kiss goodbye. Sometimes a pillow would be between put as a wall in bed stating I don't want you touching me. He'd flinch if she tried to get him in the mood. She felt hopeless inside like he didn't love her anymore and why would he want her in his home. Was he cheating? How could he? He was a workaholic? Then tragedy hit, his mother was given the death sentence: pancreatic cancer and she knew her little grown man couldn't handle it. So she called her up and her best friend in to sort things out before her last 14 days. She her run everything from getting the ashes arranged, paying off her bills, arranging the backyard funeral and whatever else his mother would ask her to do. She did it not for him, but for her because she loved her and she loved her back. His mother gave her heirlooms to keep, assuming they would be together forever, and responsibility for her sister that is nothing short of overwhelming because she doesn't take care of herself. His mom cared so much about her man, who she wasn't married too, she even let him live rent free in one of her apartments for $100 a month for ten years. In my opinion, he wasn't worth it, but she loved him and that was what mattered. He's been a pain in the arse to the couple since expecting more for less. Try getting a living trust done in 14 days....not easy. What the girl did notice is that he didn't shed a tear over his mom and she knew he was a momma's boy. The ashes are still in the closet in their home that she is considering of leaving after being with him for over ten years. It's scary for her even the way she's treated. He's more like a friend, has no interest in her as a girlfriend, took away the ring, and expects her to be home and cook for him as if its the fifties. She has to call if late but the rules don't apply to him. God forbid, he is hungry. He'll eat and forget about her, for he is selfish and thinks only of himself at that moment. But, if she eats, he is annoyed. Or if she's out and it's past seven.... "Why hasn't she called? What am I suppose to eat?" For years, she begins to resent him more and more. She goes to the therapy and discusses the scenario and they discuss verbal abuse with her. Something she dealt with back in her childhood, she thinks it's fear of being alone and loosing her dog. She has no family out here and she just wants her dog now. Her dog loves her unconditionally with exception of food. She knows its silly, a dog. But, the dog is the only thing that has kept her sane. He changes his story, he gaslights. She looks for apartments behind his back but no one wants to rent to her because she has no rental history for the last ten years. He put everything in his name, bought everything in his name, even when she suggested he get a living will to protect his assets, he put everything in his friends name. She was appalled that she lived with him so long that even in a common long state, she would get the house, etc. He reminded her that California was not a common law state. She didn't really care about his mom's properties but his friends would have left them to their spouse or significant other. He might as well left them to the dog. Then, she found out I couldn't have kids, God didn't make her that way. A blessing in disguised, I suppose. She realized he wouldn't of married her or left her anything after spending ten,twenty or fifty years with him. She was not family. The sadness flows down her throat into her chest as she realizes she is just babysitting a man who doesn't want to be alone. Once again she have been used all these years and longer than the other ones. He make her feel like she was stupid when she tried to make choices that will make her finances easier and he just wanted to keep her here. Why? The frustration of the tears running down my face knowing that she can't say anything back because he has an answer for everything is killing her on the inside. He said he loved her, but he doesn't know what love it. She thought she loved him, but she doesn't think love feels like this. Friends, yes, football games, sure. Love is not in the equation. He thinks love is giving you money at the last minute when your at your wits end. That's his way of showing love and taking it away from you. So, another rental application in while she owns no furniture or anything else but clothes. No one wants her, unless to use her. She is broke because he changed the financial situation this summer because she did something she never did before. She had an affair fox sex only, not that you can call it that when the one your with hasn't touched you in years, but he went off the deep in and gps'd her phone, set a curfew, forbid her to go certain places and now can no longer go to holiday events at his friends homes. He says they won't forgive her but he did. She doesn't care anymore, misses only one of them, and wants to take her dog and move on with her life with or without a man. Her grandma always said they were trouble.
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