Tortured Boy

Delsin Rhodes 35 | District 6 Mentor Victor of the 77th Hunger Games Hunger Games AU Roleplay Blog for Ultima Volatus

[sourceaaronpaul]

[delsin-rhodes]

DAHLIA

Dahlia’s smile faded as soon as she realized that the baby wasn’t kicking anymore. She thought she might have been feeling things, or getting herself hyped over something that wasn’t really the case. She had heard that babies can understand familiar voices and that music also helped with their brain function. Hearing his mother and father’s voices was supposed to help – or so she read. So she had been hoping that Reid responded well to his father’s voice: the deep, handsome baritone that he sported. 

Then, Delsin spoke again and she held his hand against her stomach a little tighter, hoping that she was right. It wasn’t until he was halfway done asking his question when she felt Reid give another kick, but a little lower. She gasped before she gave an awkward penguin waddle dance in her excitement since she couldn’t really jump. 

“He did it! He did it!” she squealed with a giggle. 

Somehow, she found herself happier than she had been in the last two weeks. Delsin’s recovery was long and hard and she was tired, but the two hour nap had been warranted and well deserved, and walking in to see him trying to take care of things, looking the best she had seen him in a while, that made her happy. Knowing that Reid would be there with them under a month, as well, had her heart screaming in joy. The little things now were what mattered. The big things were starting to show their signs. 

Reid kicked again and thankfully it was right around the ends of Del’s fingers so he could feel them. He wasn’t nearly as active as he had been, but she was assuming it was because he was running out of room. She looked up at Del’s face, realizing quickly how overexcited she was being over something so small. She blushed and cleared her throat, putting her hand over her mouth and looked away from his stupidly handsome blue eyes.

“Sorry,” she said. “I’m just… happy.”

Dahlia’s grip on his wrist tightened as soon as he spoke, urging him to feel for their son. “Morning, little man,” he added in his attempt to get the baby to stir within Dahlia. Then he felt a small pressure against his palm near his wrist and Dahlia gasped. Delsin couldn’t help but chuckle, hand still on her belly while she wiggled and gave a little victory dance. As much as she could muster in a dance with how swollen her stomach was.

She seemed to be radiating joy particularly that day, and while he knew she was tired, this was the happiest he had seen her in such a long time. While the sight had him smiling and feeling genuine happiness with her, he also felt a weight in his chest, knowing that he was partially to blame for her exhaustion and negativity before. They could say the past was in the past all they wanted, but Delsin hadn’t been kind to her as much as he knew he should have been. Though he had been doing much better now, making more of an effort to do better and stay clean for the sake of seeing his son when he would come into the world very soon.

Another kick against his fingers earned a larger smile from Delsin, his hand smoothing over her stomach. “There he is,” he murmured softly. He lifted his gaze to meet hers, tilting his head to the side as she blushed and averted her gaze. Even apologized. Delsin shook his head, “Why are you apologizing? You should be happy.”

[delsin-rhodes]

OAKLEY

For a moment Oakley was absolutely dumbfounded.  Delsin was the father.  That was…interesting.  If he could get clean for the baby’s sake that might be a good thing.  She knew he struggled.  After all, the man had stolen morphling from her before.  She could still recall how miserable she’d been that bad day upon discovering her morphling was missing.  It wasn’t something she used everyday, but when she needed it she needed it immediately.

“That’s definitely a little crazy,” Oakley agreed.  “But I guess congratulations are in order.  I really do hope you can get clean for the kid’s sake.”  She had hoped Deslin would get clean for a long time, if only for his own good.  If it took more incentive for him to do it then that was fine.

“Thanks, I’m hoping so, too.” The last time he had tried to stay clean he only lasted a month. He had just been through the worst of the withdrawals, but even after that, he still felt the aches and pains and his nightmares had been way too intense. So when he had a particularly horrible one, he had immediately turned to morphling for comfort instead of talking to anyone. It was just easier, burying that hurt and sadness instead of facing it.

“Honestly, I don’t even know where to start when it comes to looking after a baby,” he admitted with a nervous chuckle. “Thinking this was how my parents felt, y’know?” He spared Oakley a glance and a small smile before dropping his gaze. He still couldn’t bring himself to hold a steady gaze with her, even felt bad for carrying casual conversation with all the crap he had put her through. 

[delsin-rhodes]

DAHLIA

Dahlia’s eyes scanned from Delsin’s face to the scattered parts of the crib that she had bought months ago. Parts were already put together, but the majority of it was spread out on the floor. The other boxes of things that needed to be put together were still leaning up against the wall, such as the rocking chair, the changing table, a dresser, among other things. The only thing she had bought that were up and ready to go were the breast pump and the baby clothes and blankets. It was a bit of a wreck, but she found herself warmed at the thought that Delsin had decided to do it on his own, even though she never pointed out where the nursery would be. 

He stood and explained what was happening, to which she smiled and rubbed a hand over her stomach out of habit as she stepped further into the room, careful to watch her feet in case she tripped on a part. Dahlia looked up, her brown eyes gleaming in her own little shred of happiness. He was doing well, which was a good sign. His mood swings weren’t the greatest thing to deal with, but she combated them with some of her own. The two of them together in this house with their own issues was probably qualified to be a circus. 

Shortly after Del spoke, she felt Reid kick once, and then a second time. Her heart lifted. She wondered if he did that out of reaction to hearing his father’s voice or not. Maybe it was starting to become a normal, natural thing. She wasn’t entirely sure, but her imagination was making her feel warm about it.

“Um, yeah,” Dahlia said as she tucked her hair behind her ear, smiling at the feeling. “But it’s fine. I didn’t need to sleep that long anyway, but hey, feel this.”

Reid was still kicking once every couple of seconds, not as active as he had been in the past, but he had been quiet while she was sleeping. She moved closer to him, reaching out for his hand to put on her belly, but he had stopped. She looked up at him, her brown eyes glimmering in her happiness as a genuine smile stretched across her lips.

“Say something,” she said. “I think he reacted to the sound of your voice.”

“Sorry, I was trying to be quiet.” He knew she had to be exhausted after having to deal with him at his worst. Hell, she still had to deal with him on top of having to carry their baby around for the past eight months. She deserved the rest, all that she could get. Delsin had gone into the other room to try and be productive and get to work on putting all the furniture together. He thought the crib was going to be easy, but apparently, the manufacturers wanted him to fuck right off with that assumption. 

Before he could even argue with her dismissal of his concern, she had stepped closer and reached for his wrist. Feel this. His gaze dropped to her stomach and he reached out to rest his hand against her stomach. The baby was still then, but Delsin waited a beat to see if he would move or kick again. His gaze met hers, her dark eyes sparkling in a way that cracked a smile across Delsin’s face.

“You think so?” he asked, then dropped his gaze back toward her stomach. “You think he can hear me from in there?” Delsin’s thumb smoothed across her stomach, once again waiting to see how the baby would react. 

[delsin-rhodes]

DAHLIA

@delsin-rhodes·

It was coming down to the wire now. A little under four weeks away until Reid’s due date. She was feeling more and more miserable every day the longer he stayed inside of her, and she was suddenly more hoping for Marina’s warning than ever. If he could make his grand entrance anytime, she’d be eternally grateful. However, there were more things she needed to be grateful for, to which that was the only thing keeping her spirits up at the moment.

Delsin made it through the first horrid week of his withdrawal. Now well into the second week, she could see him getting better and having far more energy. She was hoping that this was a perfect turning point for him, as she wanted what was best for him. While he had hurt many people in his time as an addict, she was hoping that he could see what better his life could be if he didn’t have that needle in his arm. With Dahlia hurting a lot more and getting more and more emotional and tired, she was desperately needing to see a silver lining from somewhere. Delsin had to be it. 

She had taken a nap with him after lunch in his bedroom, finding that his bed had become hers over the last two weeks. She didn’t quite miss her own bed, as it simply reminded her of the uncomfortable nights. She slept better with him there, having that brace there to quell the discomfort. However, when she came awake about two hours later, she suddenly grew a little startled for how long she slept, but it was another thing that broke her out of her sleep. The sound of shifting and things being moved.

And Del wasn’t in bed with her.

Dahlia grew a little panicked as she managed to sit up, grimacing as she braced her belly and slid her swollen legs off of the bed and to the floor, hobbling around the bed until she was waddling unceremoniously toward the sounds. When she got into the hallway, she took notice that it was coming from the room across the hall from her own bedroom – the room she was planning on making Reid’s nursery. All of the boxes of the stuff she needed to get built had been there for a while, having been too prideful to ask for help to build them. Her brow creased as she made her way to the door, finding it cracked only slightly as she pushed it open to find Del inside.

“Del?” she asked, tucking her hair behind her ear. “What are you doing?”

Whoever built this fucking crib needed to be stabbed in the eye. 

Delsin had been sitting in the middle of the nursery for a solid hour and a half, trying to find the right screw that went with a certain part of the crib he had been trying to put together. Had they not elected to just throw all the screws in one baggie and hope for the best, then maybe he would have had the damn thing put together a lot sooner. 

He had been doing much better since that first week of withdrawal had been behind him. The first few days were the roughest, rendering Delsin entirely bedridden and unable to even go anywhere other than the bathroom when he felt the nausea kick in again. Then it was dealing with the mood swings, the fluctuating temperatures he felt, and the random urges that swamped him through everything else. But Dahlia had been quick to remind him of why he was doing all of this in the first place. For her, and for their baby boy that was coming in less than a month. 

He thought he was being quiet, curses being muttered under his breath if the frustration wasn’t enough to be contained. But once he found the screw he was looking for, he couldn’t help but let out a soft, “Yeah, bitch!” in triumph, grabbing the screwdriver from a toolkit he found in one of the closets by the front door and he started to put the crib together.

Dahlia’s voice had him turn his head to look at her over his shoulder briefly before turning his attention toward his work. Which, really, hadn’t gotten too far from being removed from the box. 

“Hey,” he greeted, pushing up from the floor to stand. “Figured I’d help put together the crib... but whoever made it kinda just threw everything together in one container and hoped for the best, so. Trying to figure that out.” He had his arms crossed in front of himself, feeling a little cold even with the sweater on. Delsin nodded toward Dahlia, “Did I wake you up?”

[delsin-rhodes]

snowcordelia‌:

@uvstarters​

“I’m sorry, can we do it again?” Cordelia asked to the cameraman as the stylist came into sight to fix the long strands of hair that acted as the frame of an uneasy face. The cloudy horizon was a warning: she needed to get it once before the rain made them lose the chance of getting a perfect shot. Considering the level of technology the Capitol owned, it was able to change the weather out of boredom or need. One day it could be raining, other snowing…the brightest sun could be up decorating the blue background or the biggest moon could be shining through the darkness. It was almost like another arena. It only took her a second to let her eyes rest on the houses inhabited by survivors of the worst artificial weather conditions to reproach herself for such thoughtless idea. Who was a doctor who had been brought up in a crystal castle to even consider having the right to speak about how the games were? 

Keep reading

Delsin had been feeling a little better after kicking the morphling for a little over a couple of weeks. At least he was able to drag himself out of bed without feeling like the world was spinning. And he needed to get some air, to get out of the house. But he wasn’t a fan of how cold it was getting outside. Bundled up in a jacket and his beanie, Delsin had his hand shoved in the pocket of his jacket, the other holding a cigarette between his fingers. While he was trying to kick one habit, the other was a little harder to shake. One step at a time and all that.

He had been near the gates when he noticed the crew and a younger woman giving the usual Capitol lines of unity and standing together. Delsin kept out of the frame of the broadcast, smoking his cigarette quietly and trying his best not to roll his eyes at the rhetoric being spewed out to the public. Once the lights and the camera were shut off, Delsin continued his walk, but stopped when the woman had addressed him. It was hard not the recognize President Snow’s granddaughter and Delsin suddenly felt like a deer caught in headlights. He made an effort to keep out of the spotlight, mostly due to his rocky past with The Capitol and how much they kept him under a magnifying glass, observing his moves until he had rendered himself useless with doses of morphling. But now that his addiction was out the window, what did he have to hide behind now?

“I’m good, thanks,” he replied, flicking the ashes off the end of his cigarette. Delsin stood a ways away from Cordelia to prevent letting the smoke carry toward her. “Right, peace and unity and all that.” His tone was less than sincere. Though he knew to choose his next words carefully around her, knowing exactly who she was reporting to, at least from what he knew. The sooner he was out of this conversation, the sooner he could get back on his way. Away from her. “All in a day’s work, I guess.”

[delsin-rhodes]

DAHLIA

It didn’t take long for Dahlia to figure out that the cloth had gotten warm enough where it was useless to Delsin’s plea so she folded it up and put it on the nightstand over his body. She made a small noise from having to extend herself with her belly, but she managed to give it one little flick and it plopped on the table unceremoniously. She sighed, sitting back to where she was and cupped her belly protectively. 

Dahlia let the smile linger for a little bit longer as he spoke again. She gently combed her fingers through his hair, ignoring the fact it was wet. Her thumb gently rubbed the back of his head, trying to be as comforting as she could. In a way, she hadn’t been lying. While Delsin would inevitably be more of a handful the way he was now than her son ever will be, it was good practice. Not for caring for someone who was sick, per se, but for her to work on sympathy and compassion. Something she had lost along the way to Victory and the aftermath. 

“Yeah, if I smell that breath of yours, we may both be using that bucket,” Dahlia joked. After a moment of quiet, her smile finally faded slightly, but not enough to warrant concern. She sighed softly through her nose, gently continuing to stroke his hair. She didn’t want to lay down yet in case he needed her for anything else. “Yeah, he’s a pretty active boy. At least I know he’s okay when he does it. I’m just ready for him to be active where he doesn’t have access to my spleen.”

As tired and gross and sick as he felt, Delsin still managed to tease and crack jokes with Dahlia. It was... nice, despite the circumstances. It had been a long while since he had a pleasant conversation with someone that didn’t involve being scolded and yelled at, or awkward silences and small talk. He just wished it wasn’t happening while his insides were doing all sorts of flips and he wasn’t trying to endure withdrawal. And this was only day two.

His eyes fluttered closed at the fingers carding through his damp hair. It felt nice, comforting. Helped him relax a lot more than just laying in bed all day ever had. But her joke did earn a small chuckle, though that, too, faded with the smile on his face. He knew it wasn’t fair for her to be tending to him. It should have been the other way around. In a perfect world that would have been the case. If he had lived another life. But that wasn’t how the cards were dealt, and Delsin had taken the oath to run himself into the ground. 

“That’ll be coming up pretty quick,” he pointed out, glancing toward her. “Before you know it he’ll be here.”

[delsin-rhodes]

INDIE

“Boy, you know that’s exactly what you needed to even be able to talk to me coherently,” she shook her head and leaned against the wall. She’d read him the riot act so many times that at this point, the most she could do was what she’d just done. A cup of cold water to the face said more than her words ever could. Unfortunately. “I ain’t gonna get into that with you today. But you know my thoughts. They’re all over your face and shirt.”

Indie examined the way he squinted when she’d mentioned Dahlia. Did he even know she was pregnant? If not, she sure as hell wasn’t going to be the one to break the news to him. Hell, he might have already been told and forgotten it all. 

“She’s good,” she cocked her head to the side. “Kinda think it might be good for you to actually walk the twenty feet down to her house and see her.”

“Yeah, I know..” He had the lecture plenty of times before, and not just from Indie. And none of the words had sunken in for Delsin even now. He was stuck in a rut when it came to his addiction, leaving himself helpless to the cravings his mind tricked his body into thinking it needed to live a stable life. When in actuality, it was making his life all the more unstable. It was just the same crap that was told to him over and over, just from different people and in different words. 

His shoulders slumped at the response. At least she was okay given the current events. But Delsin also knew Indie was right, he should go and visit her himself if he really wanted to know. Eyes closed, he brought a hand up to rub at his eyelids. It definitely would not have been the best idea to visit her while he was riding a high, though, so he settled for leaning his back against the wall instead.

“Doubt she’d want to see me,” he murmured, “probably hates me for all the shit I’ve pulled on her. Probably won’t even let me see the baby when it comes...”

[delsin-rhodes]

OAKLEY

Oakley nodded.  She wondered how far ahead her family had gotten, but when he mentioned staying with Dahlia she was caught off guard.  “Oh?” she questioned him, looking up at him.  Delsin wasn’t exactly someone she would trust around anyone.  She knew Dahlia was pregnant, having seen the girl around the village.  A morphling addict hanging around a baby was not something good.  She knew that for sure.

“That’s…nice, I suppose,” she replied with a shrug.  “I didn’t know you two were friends.”  It wasn’t Oakley’s place to get involved, but she was a little skeptical of Delsin and his intentions.

“Yeah.” As soon as he said it, he knew it wouldn’t have made sense. Having a morphling addict staying with a pregnant woman, let alone the mother of his kid when she was due in a month or so. Not really the best planning, but Dahlia had been willing to give him one more chance to get clean. One more chance to be part of their baby’s life and Delsin was keen on being there for them-- both the baby and Dahlia. 

I didn’t know you two were friends. Delsin dropped his gaze to the end of his cigarette, his other hand reaching up to rub at the back of his neck. “Actually, uh... she’s pregnant with our kid. I’m trying to get clean so I can be there when the baby comes...” That didn’t make them friends, but then what did that make him and Dahlia? It was a lot to think about between him trying to get clean and the baby coming. 

“Kinda crazy, right?”

[delsin-rhodes]

DAHLIA

Dahlia was barely on the bed by the time Delsin had bolted for the trashcan and sat up, hovering over it. Her heart jumped to her throat as she tried to wiggle closer to him, but he was already emptying his stomach into the bin by the time she adjusted herself. That was the stressful part of this whole ordeal, was the fact that she was so heavily pregnant. She couldn’t get to him in time for her to really be of use, so when her hand reached out to rub his shoulder, he was already putting the bin down on the ground. 

“I’m sorry, Del,” Dahlia said quietly as she took a hold of the towel and wiped his cheeks and around his mouth a little bit in case there was anything there and folded it so she could press the iciness of it to the back of his neck to keep him cool. 

She saw him roll over slightly to look at her, but she nearly protested the movement before he spoke again. Dahlia was a little stunned by the comment but she offered him a first of genuine smiles. She hadn’t meant to, but he was still being courteous to her even if he had no reason to be. She giggled as she moved the towel from the back of his neck to his forehead again before gently mopping it over his hair. 

“You’re such a dork,” Dahlia told him. “Good thing even when you look like shit, you’re still handsome.”

She pulled her legs across so she could sit beside him for now, wiping him down to make sure he wasn’t going to overheat. She had the air up a little bit in the house even though it was cold outside. It was going to start getting in the forties overnight, so she honestly needed to have the window cracked for his benefit for the next couple of days, but she was also not ready to be freezing overnight.

“Don’t worry,” she added quietly. “you can be little spoon for the next few days. You’ll just have to deal with your son kicking you in the back.”

Having thrown up took whatever small amount of energy he had out of him. He flopped onto the mattress with a huff, reaching for the towel. But Dahlia had beat him to it, wiping at his mouth. The cloth had warmed up from being pressed against his skin and head but Delsin was too tired to protest or point it out. Yet he did mange to still offer up a quip that made Dahlia giggle. A hint of a smirk was fleeting on his face before his settled back on the pillow.

“I’ll take it as a compliment,” he murmured. Delsin kept his eyes closed, though his head still felt like it was being run over by a truck. And his stomach only had a little relief. Even though the room was cooler, Delsin still felt warm, almost comfortable the way he was next to Dahlia. 

His brow rose at her words, “Yeah, you don’t wanna be little spoon to me. Not with the breath I’ve got now.” A hand lifted up lazily to point toward his mouth, only to flop back down next to him. “I’ll consider it a free massage. He’s been kicking you around a lot, hasn’t he?”

[keanureves-deactivated20181220]

[delsin-rhodes]

DAHLIA

Dahlia felt bad for him and the fact that she had caught him so off guard, but she was trying her hardest. She was still grappling with the fact that she had to take care of a baby soon and then she was attempting to get Delsin on the straight and narrow. It was a lot for her to take on all at once but she was hoping it would be worth it in the end. It had to be.

She giggled softly at his response, knowing he was trying to be funny in return, but she could understand if it didn’t come off that way. She gently moved the cloth against the back of his head through his hair, hoping it would help him feel more refreshed. The poor man was already struggling and it hadn’t even been two days yet. It was going to take a lot to get out of his system and she could only hope that he was on the shorter end of that track than the longer one. 

“Yeah, well, if it quacks like a duck…” she teased in return, but her voice drifted as his hand came up to take a hold of her fingers. She slid them between his and gave it a reassuring squeeze. He needed it. She sighed. “I know, Del. But I’m telling you not to, okay?”

Eventually, she had to let him go so she could help him get his sweater off. She was fully prepared at this point to see him throw up, so she could only hope her own resolve wouldn’t crumble in that instance. Still, she helped him gently remove the hoodie from his body one limb at a time before she slowly got the fabric off of his head and pooled into his lap before easing him back down onto the pillows. She smiled and nodded her head at his gratitude. Having seen his scars and burns, it didn’t phase her. 

“You’re welcome,” she said, bending over and kissing him on the forehead. “Let me go douse this again and I’ll be back to lay with you for a while. Just try to relax.”

With that, Dahlia left to re-rinse the towel and put it in the freezer again for a couple minutes and returned. She didn’t go straight for him that time. Instead, she offered the towel to him in case he wanted to put it where he felt he needed it and walked to the other side of the bed so she could wiggle her way into it. Dahlia made soft, struggled noises before she managed to get on the bed and roll to his side with a frustrated huff. 

“I feel like an overturned turtle,” she grumbled.

The hoodie had slipped from his lap and he felt a hand pushing his shoulder back slowly. His vision started to swim again, his brain feeling like it was rattling in his skull. And it did nothing for his nausea but make it worse. It was like he was on a roller coaster that was constantly on a loop, constantly throwing him upside down and then right side up again, and then spinning at the same time for added disorientation. So he had kept his eyes closed, bringing an arm up to drape over his eyes and keep any shapes or light out. But the kiss to his forehead was appreciated. 

“Tryin’,” he managed. His jaw grew tense just from the one word alone, but Delsin took in a deep breath through his nose. Dahlia’s voice echoed over and over in his head. Just relax. Relax. 

But he couldn’t keep it down anymore. The hand over his eyes shot out for the garbage bin and he coughed deep before the contents of his stomach emptied into the bin. Shoulders tense and trembling, Delsin gripped at the sides of the garbage bin until his knuckles turned white. His body felt like an extra weight had been added to it. Tears had welled up in his eyes from the sick alone.

Setting the bin on the floor by the bed, Delsin laid back down with a groan. So much for trying to relax.

Dahlia had come back and tried to get into bed next to him, but Delsin stayed on his left side. He remembered his mom telling him that laying on your left side when you were sick helped keep the nausea at bay. But he did turn slightly to try and look back at Dahlia over his shoulder. “You’d make for a cute turtle, at least,” he murmured, his thumb rubbing at the tears that gathered at the corners of his eyes. 

[delsin-rhodes]

DAHLIA·

Dahlia cringed. She wasn’t good at taking care of people. She was the baby of the family and she was used to being the one that was taken care of instead. So to take care of someone else, she didn’t have the most delicate of sensibilities. She should have warned Del that she was about to put it on him, but his body was on fire. He needed to cool down. 

“Sorry,” Dahlia said quickly as she moved the cloth over his face and against his neck again. She didn’t want him to suffer anymore than he needed to. 

He mentioned puking and she nodded her head to herself more than anybody else. Sighing, she smiled softly as she rubbed her hand across his arm while the other busied with wiping the sweat off of his face and running it against his hair so he wouldn’t feel so sticky. 

“Yeah, well, it’s good practice for the baby, right?” Dahlia teased, hoping to bring some humor into the situation even if he felt like absolute shit. Still, he tried to tell her what she needed and she shook her head. “Don’t worry about me right now. I can take care of myself. I’ve been doing it for months. You’re sick.” She paused and glanced around. “Hold on.”

She put the cloth back down on the bed and got up off of the bed slowly. She sighed and put her hand under her belly to balance herself before waddling into the bathroom to grab the empty trash bin that already had a bag in it and brought it back to the bed. She put it down on the night stand before gently putting her hand on his shoulder.

“If you have to throw up, I’ve got a bucket for you,” she said. “Let’s just try it, okay? I don’t want you to suffer. Come on.” She gently moved her hands down to the bottom hem of his sweatshirt and started pulling it up around his midsection, as high as she could manage to get it before he had to move in order to take the rest of it off. 

The fact that she felt she had to apologize had Delsin closing his eyes and turning on his side again. He didn’t mean to be so harsh with her, it was the agitation and mood swings talking. Only a couple hours prior he had been fine, happy to talk with Dahlia and actually a little affectionate with her. Now he was irritable and angry and she was the only person there he could unleash it on. It wasn’t fair to her, and he knew that. 

Delsin let out a slow breath at the feel of the cloth against his skin. It helped him cool down significantly, and he didn’t feel as gross with the layer of sweat on his skin. If he was feeling up to it, he would definitely need to take a shower later. “If that’s some way of callin’ me a big baby...” It was hard to tell with his tired tone, but he had meant it as a joke. His right hand slipped from under his pillow to reach for the hand on his arm, finger tips gliding along her own fingers. 

“Can’t really help it. I’ll always worry about you.” He wasn’t looking at her, his eyes closed to try and keep the world from spinning. Even in his current state, he knew Dahlia should have been resting. She didn’t need to be doing all this for him. Hell, she could have sent him off to a rehab center in The Capitol to have them handle him like this. But she didn’t. She kept him in her home, looked out for him and cared for him the best she could despite being a little more-- or a little less-- than a month away from having their baby. 

Yeah, he worried about her.

“No, no, wait--” but Dahlia had already pulled away to get something for him. Another wave of nausea hit him, forcing a strong shiver down his spine. A shadow had passed over him, forcing him to open his eyes and see the trash bin by the nightstand. Delsin reached for the bin to pull it closer to the mattress, drawing in a slow breath for what was to come. “Okay,” he whispered.

Dahlia was already pulling at his sweater and he forced himself to move with a grunt, gripping onto her arm to help keep himself steady. His back felt sore, the sweatshirt sticking to his back from all the sweat. Slowly, Delsin slipped his arm through the sleeve of the sweatshirt and did the same with the other side to let the sweatshirt bunch up on his bare shoulders. Having the cooler air hit his back had him sighing in content, reaching up to try and pull the sweatshirt off over his head. 

On the left side of his back was a large, bold blue feather tattoo, swerving up his back to his shoulder, where it had dissolved into a small flock of birds that flew up along the side of his neck. Beneath the ink were a few scars from his Games from the explosion of one of his traps. But the right side of his back had a large burn scar that was pointless to try and cover up, stretching as far as over the back of his arm. Letting the sweater pool in his lap, Delsin let out a breath. That felt a lot better. “Thank you...”

[delsin-rhodes]

OAKLEY

Oakley had gotten side tracked.  She and Birch had been taking Clem and Summer around, but the children were too quick for her to keep up with.  Instead she just wheeled her chair along knowing she’d reach them eventually.  Pebble, her service dog, remained right at her side.  At least the evening wasn’t too terribly cold yet.

She’d been planning on asking everyone if they’d seen her husband and kids, hoping to get a feel for how far ahead of her they were.  She approached Deslin, not sure if she wanted to trust him.  She had her share of issues with him, but she was an adult about it.

“Yeah,” she said with a nod.  “Birch too, but I got held up and they got ahead.  You haven’t seen them pass by here, have you?”

He hadn’t expected Oakley to stop and talk with him, but it was also a surprise to see her on her own. She did have her dog with her, but usually Birch was with her-- who he intentionally avoided as soon as he saw the guy-- or one of her kids. He didn’t necessarily have a good history with the Pembrooke family; while he was civil with them, morphling addiction could be an ugly thing. And it had gotten to the point in some cases when he would steal from Oakley. From someone who actually needed it more than he did. 

“No, I haven’t yet,” he replied. But then again, he had missed out on seeing most of the trick or treaters that came through. He had been feeling terrible earlier, and honestly, he still did. His joints still felt sore, his head felt like it ran through a wall. But at least he didn’t feel the nausea anymore, at least for the time being. Maybe part of it was that he had been hungry. Or the worst was yet to come. And he knew it was.

“Think I missed most of them when they came around, though.” He took another drag from his cigarette, tipping his head up and away from Oakley to blow the smoke away from her. “I’m, uh, staying with Dahlia for a while,” he added, pointing a thumb back toward Dahlia’s home.

[delsin-rhodes]

DAHLIA·

Dahlia watched him for a moment, seeing him shake his head at her but she wasn’t entirely convinced that was a no from him. He looked horrible, getting worse by the minute. She was afraid for him that he wouldn’t be able to handle it. She liked to think of it as an intense flu, but at that point, when did she need to take him to a hospital? But she wasn’t entirely sure the Capitol would help him, given his history. She had to do this on her own, even if that meant getting little sleep. She had to be there for him. Nothing in her resolve was telling her to be selfish in that moment. Del needed her far more than that.

So she turned and went across the hallway to the spare bathroom, having planned for him to be in this room in particular for its downstairs location and close to her own room, since she didn’t usually like going upstairs. Her feet liked to be firmly planted on the ground at any given time. Still, she went into the spare bathroom, went into the closet to grab a towel and turned on the cold water and doused the cloth with it. Once it was, she waddled her way into the kitchen to put the towel in the freezer for a couple minutes. She waited, hearing his whimpers and groans from the bedroom and her heart lurched for him. 

Be strong, Del. It’s going to be okay, she thought. 

She took the towel out of the freezer and made her way back to Del’s room, to which she unceremoniously invited herself in and gently put her hand against his forehead. He was burning up, but he was shaking and shivering at the same time. Fevers were a bitch to fight, but she still took the ice cold towel and put it on the back of his neck for a moment and then wiped his face down with it.

“I know, I know, Del,” Dahlia said gently. “It’s okay. Let’s take your sweater off and I’ll get you a thinner sheet. Can you sit up a little or can’t you?” She rubbed her hand across his bicep, hoping to comfort him in some way. “I don’t know if you want me to stay with you or not but I’m going to anyway. Okay?”

When Dahlia had left, Delsin had turned to look toward the door. Did she leave for the night? Delsin let out a sigh, closing his eyes and rubbing at his eyelids with a trembling hand. Even lifting his hand took a lot of effort, his arm feeling sore from the motion. His limbs felt heavy, like they were full of sand or weights and it took everything in him just to move around or lift his arms. But he did manage to roll back on his left side, knees curling up closer to his stomach. 

Dahlia’s footsteps drew closer until he felt the mattress dip behind him. Instantly he felt cold and Delsin tensed up, shoulders scrunching toward his neck. “Fuck that’s cold!” he cursed, “A warning would have been nice.” He didn’t mean to snap at her, but exhaustion and the craving for morphling were ebbing away at any patience he may have had left. Delsin tried to relax again, shivering at the feel of the cloth on his neck again. But that time he was prepared for it.

Then she was asking to take off his sweatshirt. That meant moving and Delsin was not feeling up to that task. “If I move, I’m gonna puke,” he murmured. Inevitably it was going to happen either way, he knew that, especially with how his stomach twisted and lurched. Though the way his body felt had been keeping him anchored to the bed. “You should be getting sleep, too.”

[delsin-rhodes]

DAHLIA

That was all she needed to hear. If he was going to try his best, that’s all she could ask for, because his best, she knew, was to kick it entirely. She smiled and nodded her head, her heart fluttering at his lips upon her knuckles. She smoothed her fingers across his cheek before letting it drop. His hands left her stomach and he moved to sit back against the chair again in rest. When he mentioned the soup, Dahlia’s heart rocketed to her throat and her eyes went wide.

“Shit!” she exclaimed as she turned and went back to the stove, completely forgetting she even had it on there. She grabbed a spoon and went to stir it. Thankfully, it hadn’t burned. 

At least that was a good sign. Nothing had gone too completely wrong yet that night.

* * *

Later on that evening, as the Trick r’ Treaters wound down and there wasn’t much laughing and chatter in the street, Dahlia felt comfortable getting herself and Delsin ready for bed. The soup seemed to have worked for him and she was happy about that, but she was nervous about the overnight part of it all. Del already looked worse for wear even when they were talking in the kitchen a few hours prior. She left him to lay down in bed after getting him down to a pair of lounge pants and nothing else. His body needed to cool off, as she could tell by touching him that he was feverish. 

She went further down the hall to her bedroom, getting out of her pants and into a giant shirt to sleep in, wiping her makeup off from the day and brushing her teeth, only to hear soft, pitiful noises down the hall. Guilt ate away at her, and she knew that she couldn’t stomach the idea of leaving him alone in that room. So she glanced at her bed, her back and feet desperately willing her to get in it, but decided against it as she made her way down the hall and to the room she had given Del. 

She gently knocked on the door to let him know she was coming in and poked her head inside. “Del?” she said. “Del, do you need me to stay through the night with you? Are you doing okay?”

The soup had helped for a while. It gave him enough energy to get up from the table on his own and make his way back to the bedroom to get some more sleep. Their conversation in the kitchen had given him a renewed surge of motivation to kick the habit, to not regress and fall back into the addiction. Delsin wanted to get better, to have a better life and live it with his son and Dahlia. 

But the withdrawal had hit him like a truck. He felt hot and cold at the same time, trembling and sweating enough to stain the bed sheets he was laying on. His shoulders and knees ached, his back felt sore, his stomach was in constant knots and Delsin couldn’t decide if he wanted his sweatshirt on or off, if he wanted the sheets covering him or to just kick them off his body. He didn’t realize he had been groaning from the lurching of his stomach until he heard the knock at the door.

Dahlia. 

His back was to her and he curled further into himself. His arm wrapped around his gut and he closed his eyes tightly. The lack of response was not reassuring, he knew that, but he felt if he opened his mouth, their dinner was going to come right back up. Delsin shook his head, though he wasn’t completely sure what he was shaking his head to. She didn’t need to stay with him? He wanted her to. He wasn’t doing okay? Definitely not. Another pathetic groan tore from his throat and Delsin buried his face against his pillow.

[delsin-rhodes]

DAHLIA

Dahlia wanted to believe the best in him. There were no other options now and she knew that. She had to be as much of a champion for him than he should be for himself, even though she knew part of the problem was his mentality that he was the cause of all of the wrongdoing. She had to break them of that. His choices had been his own, sure, but going forward, she wasn’t going to let him think that every little thing that went wrong was his fault. Dahlia knew that it was part of the reason he went back on the morphling so soon. She made him get rid of all of his syringes and the morphling, locked down the house, moved him in, and now she had to get his confidence back up. That was the last and final thing that needed to be worked on.

She was glad for Reid’s interaction with his father, but seeing how much it elated Del to know what gender his child was, that was worth the slip up. She hadn’t realized how much it would affect him in a good way, so she was glad that it was an accident. Dahlia’s eyes burned with tears as he greeted their son as a ‘little man’, talking to him through the shell of her belly. She sniffled and giggled a little at him, squeezing his hand tight and rubbing her other hand across the back of his as he held it against her belly.

“And I know that,” Dahlia said as soon as he spoke, nodding her head to him. 

She let him speak again and she nodded along with him. She ended up smiling at the last part, the way she did reaching her eyes – genuine happiness and confidence in him. She could only hope that he didn’t let her down. She couldn’t handle it if he did, not when her heart still ached for him without the baby involved. The way she wanted to be around him even in his worst moments. She wanted to see the man behind all of his addiction. Dahlia wanted to see the best in people, even if she didn’t often see it in herself either. She was rough around the edges, but she also knew that the roughness was her way of showing how much she cared. 

Dahlia nodded before bringing his other hand up and kissing his hand, looking him in the eyes with all of the affection she can muster before she spoke again. “You mean the world to us both,” she said softly. “I want you to win this for good. So just… just push through it. Think differently about yourself because I know the way you think about yourself is far from what I think about you and I think you’ll be an amazing father. So kick its ass, okay?”

The smile on his own face had widened with hers. It meant a lot for him to hear that he meant that much to them. Hell, why else would Dahlia have pushed to try and help him as much as she had? Delsin was grateful for it, even though he had done wrong by her in the past. He was glad she was determined to help him and stick with him because there was no way he would have been able to kick the addiction on his own. And yes, he felt horrible. Even as he smiled up at Dahlia and felt their son kick and wiggle in her belly, he still felt sick, still shook and his joints ached with each movement. But he knew it would get better. This was just the start of a few of the worst days. If he could get past that, then he would be okay... right?

“I want to kick this for good, too. I can’t... I couldn’t be in that house anymore, Dahlia. You saw how it was. And I want to be there for both of you. I can’t be on the outside looking in.” Especially when he was given another chance at having a family. The threat of The Capitol would always hang over them as Victors, Delsin knew that well. The thought of anything happening to their son, to Dahlia, because of him was terrifying, especially with Delsin’s history. 

But they meant more to him than more and more years of a morphling addiction. Of running the risk of killing himself from using the drug. Delsin intended on beating this thing. It would take time, but he would be able to do it. He hoped. 

“Yeah,” he replied with a nod, “I will. Promise.” Delsin lifted her and and pressed a kiss to her knuckles, his thumb smoothing over her belly. They were going to be his motivation to get through the worst of the withdrawal. All the emotional exchanges and the new revelation about their son had drained the little bit of energy Delsin had. He let his hand slip from beneath her shirt, letting her go to check on the soup cooking on the stove. And to let him lean back in his chair again and take a minute to regroup. 

“Might need to check on the soup..”